A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns everything in Twilight Universe. I just play around in it.

1

Holy. Crap.

When Carlisle said that they didn't hunt humans, he actually meant every word. As in they feed only from animals.

Jane's comment about vegetarians made a little more sense now. But seriously, what was wrong with these people? Why would they willingly want to torture themselves? Not hunting humans at all and keeping one with the sweetest smelling blood possible around like she actually was one of them – I couldn't get my mind around it.

In the short time we had when travelling back to their residence – they called it home - Carlisle had explained some things to me. He told that the mind reader was called Edward and the human was his girlfriend.

"Although there may be some changes in their relationship status in the near future," the little pixie like girl said, smiling widely. Edward frowned at her, but couldn't quite contain the crooked smile that played on his lips. I didn't know what that was about.

The big, dark-haired guy was Emmet, and although I had been afraid of him at first, I now kind of liked him. He challenged me into arm-wrestling match "as soon as I felt up to it" and earned a back handed slap to his head from his mate Rosalie, the tall, beautiful blonde girl.

Alice was the small girlish vampire and Carlisle explained that she could see the future. I didn't even try to get my mind around that. Jasper was apparently what Carlisle called "an empath" and had trained new born vampires in civil war. Whoa.

And get this: Carlisle had a day job in a hospital. He was a surgeon in Forks General Hospital.

It seemed as the yellow eyes were the least freaky thing in this coven. No. Not a coven. A family. I didn't have a lot human memories, but I did remember that it had been a while since I'd had a family, and even then it wasn't exactly a piece of American Dream what we were living. So, when Carlisle proudly told me that to Forks Community they were known as the Cullen Family, it didn't hit me as astonishing as all the other stuff he told about their life style.

Just as we got to the huge house of wood and glass with enormous garage on the ground floor, Carlisle's cell phone rang. He was officially the first vampire I had seen with one, although I had a feeling that I was about to see much more. He stepped further away, away from the hearing distance.

After ending the call he turned to Esme and the others. "It was Billy Black. They need me in LaPush. I'll be back as soon as I can." He kissed Esme and vanished. A moment later garage door opened and a sleek, black Mercedes drove out.

"Is Jacob...?" I heard Bella ask in a fearful voice and Edward's soothing voice answered immediately: "He's going to be fine. Just broken bones, but you know how quickly those wolves heal."

Wolves? I didn't understand anything. Clearly Carlisle was needed for his medical skills, but who was Jacob? Apparently not a vampire.

"We'll explain everything you need to know when we get inside," Edward answered to my confused thoughts.

We were sitting in the biggest living room I had ever seen. Three of the four walls were glass from floor to ceiling, giving into a large yard that in a forest. I was sitting on one of the plush white arm chairs feeling oddly out of place. Even Bella the human seemed to belong here more than I did in my ragged clothes and bare feet. For the first time since becoming a vampire I paid attention to my clothing – it was kind of hard to miss now. The Cullen family was dressed in practical but expensive looking camping wear and not a hair was out of place. Lucky me, I was used to feel like the poor second cousin amongst other people.

I was holding my breath.

Jasper was standing motionless on my left side, tiny Alice on my right. Esme had squeezed herself into a love seat with Edward and Bella on the other side of the room. Emmett had taken over entire couch sitting sideways and Rosalie had folded herself gracefully on the floor by him. They were all watching me with different expressions.

Jasper was concentrating tightly – on my emotions, I assumed, to prevent me from attacking the human girl. Alice looked curious, but had a friendly smile on her lips. She saw that I was looking and took my hand in hers. I flinched at first, but relaxed quickly – again, by Jasper's influence.

Edward looked thoughtful. He had his arm around Bella, who looked like she was just short of passing out. I didn't remember what it felt like being tired, but the dark shadows under her heavy-lidded eyes brought back memories of the times I slept on the street. No amount of sleep was ever enough and my sleep was always restless – I had to stay alert for the muggers and other psychos. I remembered the ache in my weak human muscles and joints after a night under the bridge or on the shade of dark alley between the trash bins.

Although I was pretty sure that this Bella had never slept on a street, there was something in her eyes – like she'd seen things she'd rather forget. I was probably close to truth – after all, she hung with a bunch of vampires that were strong enough to take down ravenous army of newborns.

Edward looked at the girl by his side and a fond smile played on his lips.

"You could use a nap," he said into her ear, but of course every single vampire in the room heard him.

"I'm fine. I just worry about Jake," she replied quickly and straightened her posture. A weird expression flashed through Edward's eyes and his smile faltered. After a moment of contemplation he said to the rest of us:

"We'll go check Jacob and see if Carlisle needs help. " He looked straight at me, narrowing his eyes. I could tell that he was probing through my mind. "It's best if we don't tempt Bree too much, she'll have enough struggle with her scent all over our house."

Bella's cheeks flushed bright red and her mouth watering smell only intensified. I had to turn my head away. "I'm sorry," I heard her saying in a small voice.

"Don't be silly, Bella," Edward said softly. "It's not your fault."

"I'll do my best to become like you," I said again to everybody. I didn't particularly like it when people spoke of me like I wasn't there at all.

The mind reader nodded at me, understanding my meaning. Then he stood up pulling Bella with him.

"Wait, wait!" Alice cried and in a flash she was gone and in the second back with two enormous shopping bags. "As far as Charlie knows Bella has been shopping all this time – surely she has to have something to take home too!"

Bella groaned loudly, but took the bags anyway. Edward kissed the top of her head and took them from her.

"Do I even want to know what I bought?" Bella asked tiredly.

"Just some summer clothes. They're all lovely!" Alice chirped and kissed her cheek.

With that the mind reader exited with his girlfriend and the tiny vampire returned back to her earlier place next to me.

"It's going to be hard work," Jasper said to me and Alice squeezed my hand she was again holding.

"Why don't you start by telling us your story?" she suggested.

So, I did. Taking a deep breath and immediately realizing my mistake I struggled a moment before I could start.

I didn't have clear memories from my earlier human life and the moments right before my change were equally dim, but I told them everything I remembered. Well, almost everything. I left out the parts were Diego had kissed me and what Riley had said about his feelings towards me. Those memories were mine and no one else's. It wasn't like they'd held any importance to them anyway.

"So the Volturi was involved in Victoria's plans after all," Jasper mused after I had finished my story. "Why am I not surprised?"

"What is Volturi?" I asked tentatively, from nobody especially. Esme was the one who answered.

"They are the oldest and most powerful vampire family there is. Aro is their leader and he is thousands of years old. He shares the throne with two other ancient immortals, Caius and Marcus. Jane, Alec, Felix and Demetri – whom you met earlier today – are Aro's "children", if you will.

"The Volturi acts as the law enforcer in vampire world. What you witnessed today was them doing exactly that – enforcing the only law we vampires have."

I must have looked as stupid as I felt, because Jasper asked from my side:

"Do you know what that is, young one?"

"Keep humans in the dark?" I said in unsure tone.

"Very well."

"But Bella – how does she know?" I asked. Actually, the correct question would have been "how is she still alive".

"It's a long story, which she herself can tell you later on. " Jasper's tone was final, so I didn't dare to ask further questions.

Emmett let out a loud quaff. "She really is one tough cookie – did you hear what she did when Edward and Seth were fighting against Victoria and Riley?"

Jasper shook his head and chuckled. It was an odd sound. "Yes. Somehow that didn't surprise me at all. Stabbing herself in the presence of three ravenous vampires – sounds exactly like Bella."

"She is going to be an awesome newborn," Emmett laughed. His words brought back the ones Jane had said earlier today – that Caius would be interested in hearing that Bella was still human. Alice answered my unasked question.

"She wants to become one of us."

"A vampire?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes. And to be honest, I really don't see any other option for her and Edward."

My mind was spinning. As a vampire you were supposed to have limitless capacity to handle multiple thoughts simultaneously – that was one of the few truths Riley had told us. And it was kind of hard to miss, anyway. I remember being pretty overwhelmed at first; being able to sense and process so many things at the same time. It was useful, though.

But now I felt overwhelmed again and not for the first time today. I tried to imagine what it would be like to spend all day with somebody who smelled impossibly luscious without being able to drain them. The thought made me shudder.

"How does he do it?" I wondered aloud.

"Again, long story and not mine to tell," Alice replied. "But we have much more important things to discuss now, anyway."

"Exactly," Jasper put in. "Like when and where you are allowed to hunt. And what."

"Will my eyes become yellow as well if I stick to your diet?" I asked curiously, although still a little bit apprehensive about Jasper's presence.

"Yes. And Bree – make no mistake; even though this all gets easier, your thirst will never be thoroughly quenched with animal blood. You will always crave for human blood, no matter how much you hunt."

"Then why do you do it?" The whole self-torturing didn't make any sense to me. I would stick to their life style because it really seemed that I didn't have any other option, but I doubted that I would ever truly understand the philosophy behind it. And even if my rational mind would be able to do that, there would be no way of convincing my blood thirsty newborn vampire side.

It was, to my surprise, Rosalie who answered my question.

"No one of use had a choice when we were turned. Craving for human blood is only one of the things that you can't help – you are utterly taken by your senses and your instinct is to follow their messages. We feel that resisting the most powerful urge of all – drinking humans – we have the control over something. Drinking from humans is a choice, Bree. And so is this."

"The problem is - " Emmetts cheerful voice continued, " – that when you are newborn, ethical issues aren't exactly at the top of your mind. It is more than easy to slip." He laughed at his own joke, even though nobody else in the room seemed to find it particularly funny.

"But we live among humans and try our best to keep up human charade. We can't afford to slip, unless we want to move away immediately." Something in Jasper's voice told me that the experience wasn't exactly unfamiliar to him.

"So no one of you guys has ever killed human?" I asked in astonishment.

"I didn't say that," Rosalie answered. "Nearly all of us have tasted human blood at least once – except Carlisle, of course."

I glanced briefly at Esme for confirmation and she nodded, looking very proud. "Not once. And he is over three hundred years old."

Whoa.

"For Carlisle this whole life style is much more than just a diet. He sees the trace of human in all of us and tries to nurture that part as much as possible. For him this is about the eternal soul in each human being and he doesn't think it dies when a person gets turned into a vampire. That's why he can't kill humans. He has chosen to help them instead." Esme's voice was fond and reverent as she spoke about her mate – the same admiration shined in all of their faces.

"Do you think that too – that we have s-souls?" I didn't feel very comfortable talking about spiritual stuff like this, but somehow I felt this part was essential in order to understand their philosophy.

"Carlisle is a living example of that. If he doesn't have one then the rest of us don't have a chance either."

Jasper cleared his throat, obviously as uneasy about the subject as I was. Clearly his approach to vegetarism was much more practical than Carlisle's. I suspected that it had a lot to do with the small spiky-haired vampire on the other side of my chair.

"So – you up to a hunting trip?"

His words through fuel on the scorching flames in my throat as my thirst intensified by the human smell so potent in the air.

"Yes!" I gasped.

Without another word we were out of the door.

I didn't like elks. Their blood tasted wrong and did absolutely nothing for my thirst. Jasper suggested that I' try a carnivore, as their blood was supposed to be closer to humans'. With time I would find my favourite, he said.

As an experiment I also tasted squirrel. Wouldn't have to do that again – it was repulsive and in order to quench my thirst I would have had to have at least thirty of them. Eew.

Jasper didn't appreciate my "playing with my food" and ordered me to go after a weird, not completely disgusting scent of an animal that I wasn't yet familiar with. It turned out to be a mountain lion, which apparently was over-populating the area rapidly. Looked like we were taking over foresting as well.

Suddenly being a vampire seemed exhausting as hell.

I found myself wondering what Freaky Fred was doing this exact moment. Maybe he was feasting over the blood of an innocent college student...my mouth started to water again. I drained another lion.

"You done?" Jasper asked when I discarded the body and wiped my mouth to my already blood stained sleeve.

"Yep. I guess the craving never really goes away, does it?" I though longingly about the last proper meal I'd had – just before the fight.

"It gets easier to control, but no, it never completely leaves your mind. It's part of your vampire nature."

"But if it's part of our nature, why do we have to fight it?" I asked again, just hear Jasper's insight. I found it exhilarating how easy it was to keep up a conversation while running at inhuman speed.

"We all have our motives," the Southern vampire answered cryptically. "For you, it begins with having no other choice. You either fight it or lose everything." His casual tone made me shudder. I knew that he didn't intent to be unkind. He knew how newborn mind worked.

Emmett had been right about us not giving a damn about ethics. For now, it was all about the thirst. Everything else seemed secondary. Nothing else but fear of destruction could keep me from hunting my natural prey. I wondered if even that would be enough.

I wasn't so blinded by my urges that I wasn't able to see the big picture here, though: if I wasn't able to control myself there was no way anyone – even the Cullens – could protect me.

And for the first time in a long time I realised, that I actually wanted to live.