Surprise! We're pretty far along and writing at a good clip, so here's a biweekly update! ^_^
Some Japanese appears in this chapter (and will in future ones), so anything you don't quite understand and isn't directly translated in the text, hop down to the bottom of the page for a glossary. Also, the armor (yoroi) names change depending on whether the narrator's language is English or Japanese (so Tenku is the same as Strata, Kourin for Halo, etc). Any scene-change markers that aren't A or T indicate a 3rd person point of view.
Enjoy!
Warnings: Stalking, gaslighting, parental abuse
Chapter 2
—~—
Sage couldn't get multiple nagging feelings out of his mind as he left Skyping with the girls. He used the first excuse that came to mind before pulling up a conversation with Rowen on the app that let them talk about whatever, yoroi included, without worrying about potential hackers.
'Still looking for a date?'
He could sense Rowen's annoyance from Tokyo; it was easy to imagine the frown he had at his phone. 'Not from you. Seriously Seiji, we've been over this. Remember what happened last time you set me up on a blind date?'
He laughed at his phone, not quite recalling what had been so bad about that situation. 'This does not have to be a date. One girl is in Ottawa, the other is taken, from the sounds of it. I think you would enjoy talking with Tessa.'
'...So how do you know someone in Ottawa, and why in the gods' names are you trying to offer to set me up with someone who's *taken*? Seijiiii…" The message might as well have come with a groan and an eye roll, it was that obvious how tired Rowen was of Sage's constant attempts. He couldn't say he cared too much— Rowen often felt out of place, without too many girls being interested in him. With the staggering number that hung out around Sage, the least he could do was help.
Now to prove why this girl was different. 'Lol I gave Tessa a tour of Aoba-jo and she had a similar reaction you did, to horses. She has her own. When I said you rode, she was very interested. Her best friend is the one in Ottawa. She is… rather stunning, and Tessa looks almost identical to her. It's uncanny.'
'Does Kourin-kun have a crush already?' he replied, deflecting the topic.
Sage snorted. 'No. I was struck by how similar the two girls looked for not being related.'
They knew each other too well; even without Tenku, Rowen could've picked up on his curiosity. 'That similar? Got any pictures?' As a reply, Sage simply sent two links he'd hunted for on each girl's Facebook profile and waited. '...wow, yeah, okay that is a bit eerie. Are they both Canadian?'
Sage nodded even though Rowen couldn't see. 'Tessa has dual citizenship, Canadian and American.'
'Intriguing…'
That message indicated Rowen was about to get lost in a cave of research. With a poke to Tenku, he continued, 'She would love to go out riding, I'm sure…'
It was only extremely obvious Rowen was trying to come up with excuses. 'It's a bit of a hike up there from Tokyo, remember. And I'm...a bit busy at the moment…'
Despite knowing Rowen had recently gone through upheaval with moving out of his dad's apartment, realizing just how much of a dad he had never gotten, Sage decided to push. Rowen needed to establish a broader social life, and with either Tessa or Alexa, and how similarly Tessa bounced from one topic to another, he thought some mutual excitement would do Rowen some good. 'She'll be here once your grading is finished, so you'd have time. And you could use the break. She's lonely, too… she feels odd, out here, and overwhelmed. Horses would give her something familiar.'
It had been a little too much. Rowen pushed back. 'When did you start borrowing Kongo's stubbornness, because you're being damn persistent'
The call-out forced Sage to realize he had other things to discuss with Rowen. 'Since I feel something's wrong about this whole situation. Kourin has been on guard since a week before she arrived, almost like Cale is watching.'
'Well, if it's /that/ serious…' He popped up typing again. 'Alright. /After/ classes are out, though. It's been tricky getting enough time to stargaze, let alone go on an out-of-town trip without using Tenku.'
Sage and Kourin relaxed, releasing tension he hadn't known he'd been holding. 'Arigato. I don't know what it is, and I don't feel comfortable telling the others— even I'm not sure if I'm imagining things.'
'The yoroi are rarely wrong, Seiji. If /you're/ sensing something odd, we're better to be on our guard than not. Kayura and the mashou have been quiet in the youjakai, but who knows who or what might be after Arago's throne now that he's gone.' While Sage was busy admitting Rowen was right, he sent another message. 'If you'd rather I tell the others…'
Sage knew he should; he was the one who had sensed things, after all. Even though the guys would accept information from any of the others, especially knowing Sage's aversion to being unsure, he had a certain amount of responsibility. He pulled up the group chat and toggled a switch to mark the conversation as important in the app— it would generate a separate bell tone that was just different enough they all knew to respond immediately— and started typing, hitting send with a deep breath. 'We might have to brace ourselves for something coming. Ever since Tessa arrived, I've been feeling like youja are watching.'
Kento was first to reply. 'think maybe it's Arago?'
Ryo was never very far behind, when it came to this particular chat. 'But he's been gone for six years. and wouldn't he start with the youjakai if he were going to try an assault on the ningenkai again?'
Sage shook his head. 'It… doesn't quite feel like him. It's still the youjakai, but… not. Like it's been corrupted.'
Cye replied to that particular comment. 'so...something new?'
Kento's typical sarcasm made exploring these sensations somewhat bearable. 'thaaaat's not creepy, not at all…'
Sage let himself ramble in text, trying to sort out what was going on. 'I don't think I would have even noticed had Sendai not been free of it for so long. I felt it today when Tessa and I were out. It doesn't feel like it originates from her, however. Just somebody near her. And maybe near her friend.'
Three people replied almost at the same time, each picking apart his words.
Ryo was first. 'so somebody's targeting them?'
Kento wasn't far behind. 'How can you be sure it's not them?'
Cye was nearly the same time as Kento. 'friend?'
Sage took a breath and sorted through the onslaught of questions with a single response, putting everything he had sensed together. 'She was on Skype this evening with a friend of hers in Ottawa. They looked remarkably similar. And I'm not sure it is them, or if it's something targeting them, but every time I have interacted with her or, today, both… something has felt wrong. And something… feels like it's *wakening*.'
Everyone paused, the yoroi filling in everyone thinking of the repercussions of those few words. Rowen was first to respond to the magnitude. 'wakening, like...when our yoroi woke?'
'Yes.'
There was nothing truly to say to that. The yoroi stretched out to Sendai to try and get glimmers of what Sage was talking about, but the feelings were so ghostly that Sage felt he could hardly get a grip on them, let alone direct the guys to the right place.
Rekka retreated first. 'what...does that /mean/…'
Sage had to admit he smiled at Kento's reply. 'is now the wrong time to say "I've got a bad feeling about this"?'
The words loosened something in his head, forcing to admit what he didn't want to. 'I… think Tessa is another Bearer. Only, her yoroi isn't strong enough for me to pick up on it.'
Sage tried not to get overwhelmed as everyone replied— and sensed Sendai— all at once.
Kento blurted out, '...you're kidding'
'another armor?' Ryo wondered.
'No way' Rowen replied.
Cye was the clearest thinking of the lot. 'Wouldn't Kaos have told us if there were others?'
Ryo answered before Sage could even think of a reply. 'Well he /was/ rather secretive, and Kayura doesn't know much more than Anubis did…'
Now it was Rowen's turn for dry humour. 'Watch, we're all going to get a dream tonight explaining everything.'
They barely needed Kongo to tell Kento was muttering. 'Typical Kaos behavior…'
'I don't know.' Sage said, trying to stop the tide of prying him for answers he didn't have. 'It's quiet, but too strong for it to be my own mind.'
'guess we'll just have to wait and see…'
Before Sage could register Ryo's reply directly, his attention went to a new notification from his conversation with Rowen. '...soooo when were you going to mention this about my potential date prospects?'
He tried not to clear his throat self consciously. 'Once I was sure of it. It… was only talking through that I even realized what I was sensing.'
'fair enough, I suppose…' Rowen began, 'but you realize if you're right, this complicates things by infinity?'
The group conversation shifted to their fun one with the click of a button, Kento talking about what to do once their summer vacation started in a little over six weeks. Sage didn't really pay attention as Kento talked about picnics and visiting Mia's— he'd have to see about Tessa, anyway. His attention stayed on mulling everything over and the conversation with Rowen. The question he couldn't help but take honestly.
'I don't know if I want to be right or not.'
There were lots of false starts typing before Rowen hit send. 'to be honest, Seiji...me neither.'
—A—
My love hate relationship with recital had gotten worse, this year. First there was getting a ride or bussing to the venue out in the middle of nowhere, then there was the high probability of my mom deciding to buy tickets in case I was in the show and I would run into her, and the way my nutrition debt was steadily increasing with this amount of physical effort. At least it was over.
There was also how I had seen the same person nearly every single place I had been for two weeks. I had thought it was just maybe coincidence— despite what Dusk was telling me— but with how my dance life and my regular life hardly ever intersected, there was no reason.
I caught my teacher's arm as she was about to leave. "Could I get a ride? I swear that guy's following me and… busing in the middle of nowhere…"
She looked around me to the guy half-obviously checking on me every thirty seconds and nodded. "Sure! Happy to help."
I let out a large breath, grabbed my stuff, and got the hell out of there. Idle chatter about seeing me next year and what my plans were occupied my mind. However, the minute I was alone with my thoughts in my apartment— behind the FOB entry, behind my locked door— I threw up.
I rested heavily against the toilet bowl, dredging my strength back up to stand, flush, and remove my makeup. My phone light flashed. I swiped open Tessa's conversation to see, 'How was recital?'
I swallowed and tossed out the first of at least three makeup wipes. 'Recital itself was fine. Being followed made me throw up. I thought it was just *really* bad coincidence but… I think imbeingstalked'
A long, glomping hug best known as a 'Tessa combo' preceded everything. 'are you okay?' she asked, meaning both my physical and mental wellbeing. Before I could answer, she popped up again. 'have you called the police to report it?'
Makeup wipe two, and the dark circles under my eyes were revealing themselves under three layers of concealer. 'I got a ride so I didn't have to bus. He never touched me. And what are the police going to do? I don't know name and it's like three guys…'
'Three?' Once her shock had worn off, she said, 'Even if they can't do anything at the moment, having it on record can be a clue if anything /does/ happen.'
The thought of interacting with police was threatening more nausea. 'Will it even go on record? I mean they already know my family is prone to false reports and I have a report open at how overbearing my mother is and the likelihood of them taking me seriously is low and I'm probably having an anxiety attack I should take ativan'
'*hugsnug* yes, you should' She sent a new message for: 'I can ask Liv, if it would make you feel better'
'Please and thank you'
She was gone for awhile, giving me a chance to get the waterproof stuff off. I looked down to a blinking phone light once the last of my mascara was gone. 'Well...technically it is stalking. Buuut as to whether they would do more than file away the paperwork…' Information out of the way, she continued. 'which tbh I would do if it were me. Then at least there's paperwork. A physical "I told you so" if it continues to develop into something...worse'
The thought of 'worse' made me heave. I went back to the toilet and threw up once more. Once I had my breathing back under control and the remains were flushed again, I typed out, 'Okay, taking ativan now…'
Another Tessa combo preceded her next message, her likely having guessed what had happened. 'I'm sorry sis… I wish there was something I could do…'
'I'm going to start taking my alarm everywhere. And signing up for a self defence class' Pill under my tongue, I pulled a dozen bobby pins out of my bun and the elastic of my ponytail, then worked on brushing through my gel-crusted hair before replying. 'I just. Don't want to do anything else but go to bed. Don't really have the energy for a shower. Considering ativan's a sleeping pill…'
'Yeah…' It took awhile for her next message to come through, her typing window popping up and down. 'Please take care of yourself, sis… Who knows why those guys are following you or what they want. And even though it can help an alarm isn't much. I...don't want anything to happen to you…'
I finished washing my face, getting the acid off my skin, and leaned against the sink before replying, emotions forcing their way out through grit teeth. 'I accepted stalking was a risk when I left. I left anyway. I accepted something could happen to me. I left anyway. I doubt I'll ever be safe, but fuck it I'm not going to live in a cage the rest of my life'
'Well said, sis. And you're not going back there. I stg they make one wrong move and I will be on a plane over there faster than you can say kendo'
Her fierceness made me smile, as tired as it was. 'Thanks. That makes me feel better' My eyes drooping made me send a new message. 'Ativan's kicking in, so I'm going to go peel off my costume and crash. Night, sis *heart*'
'G'night sis. I love you *heart*'
—T—
I sat at my desk for long minutes staring at the words in Messenger without really seeing them. The conversation I'd just had with Alexa left me cold all over and with a rock in the pit of my stomach. There had been few times in my life that I'd ever come anywhere close to fearing for my sister's safety, even at the worst of her depression and suicidality. Now, though, this feeling ranked at the top of that list.
Worse still was the sense of helplessness to do anything about it.
If something did happen, I was a solid thirty-six hour plane trip away that would basically cost well over a thousand dollars. Providing I could even find a trip on short notice, it would likely be another six hours to get on that plane if I was lucky. Not to mention customs.
And how would I explain it to my parents? They would have to pay for the ticket, and I doubted they would let me practically throw away my summer for something like this. Liv was a police officer, and she'd say the investigations would best be left in the local authorities' hands—it would do me no good to hop on a plane after the fact.
Frustration welled like a fire in my chest, fists clenching in a way to both contain and channel my anger. There was nothing that could make me feel more like a dragon than an unjust situation. But sadly, I was only a petite human girl rather than a monstrous scaled and winged reptile that could incinerate concrete with its volcanic breath.
Normally, I'd talk to Alexa when I was in this mood. Since she was now—hopefully—sleeping, that option was out of the question. Approaching my parents about it didn't seem like a good idea—it would be awkward at best—and no one else of our mutual friends understood the situation exactly as my sister and I did.
I hesitated when my mind jumped to Michael, who had been strangely absent from my thoughts since this trip had begun. It was now nearly eleven o'clock on the East Coast, but maybe he was awake.
I slowly picked my phone up, unlocked it, and navigated to my boyfriend's text thread. Despite reasoning that I desperately needed someone to talk to, and he was the only one available, something kept me from immediately typing.
'Alexa probably would say I shouldn't…' After a few moments, I frowned and shook my head at myself. 'But I should talk to someone...and what are boyfriends good for if not that?'
Taking a deep breath, I slowly formulated how I wanted to broach the topic. Figuring I'd see if he was even up first, I ended up settling on, 'Got a minute for a bit of a heavy conversation?'
I stared at the screen as I waited for a response, mind blank. After a minute or so, my phone buzzed. 'Of course, my dove'
Exhaling—realizing I hadn't even noticed I'd been tense, holding my breath—I worked on an explanation tailored to how little he knew about my best friend. 'Alexa thinks she's being stalked. I'm scared something's going to happen to her and I won't be able to do anything about it'
'Why are you worried? It's not like you really know her.'
If I were in an anime, that probably would have been the perfect placement for a face-fault. I did, however, lightly drop my forehead to my desk in disbelief for a moment, before situating my phone on my knee to be able to stare at the screen.
When my brain had finally processed the absurdity of his comment, I started typing. There was no way I was going to let him get away with that. 'You know I've been friends with her for four years and you say I don't really know her?'
'You've never met. It's not like you have a reference for what her life's really like.'
Anger and confusion both bubbled up in my chest. I gritted my teeth, turning that over in my mind for a way to poke holes in his logic. This was no light matter, and here he was trying to brush it off like a speck of dust on his immaculate sleeve!
'Just because we haven't physically met doesn't mean I can't sympathize with her! And we've Skyped loads of times, so it's not like I've never been face to face with her. I met her mom a few times over Skype, too, so it's not like I don't have /any/ frame of reference!'
'It's not like you can do much. She's in Canada, and the likelihood the stalking will lead to anything worse is low. I wouldn't get worked up over it.'
That hit like a solid sabre strike to the chest. How could he not understand…! I growled, trying to think of a response, but tempted to hurl my phone at the wall instead. (There was a reason I'd bought a military-grade shock-proof case for it.)
After a deep breath through my nose in an attempt to calm down, I typed, 'Yeah, well, even if I'm /not/ worked up over it, it would still be prudent to have some sort of plan in case something /should/ happen.'
'We can work on that later, if you're still upset. I need to go to bed. Goodnight, my dove. Remember to reach for peace, before anger!'
And as quickly as that, I was essentially alone again in the middle of what should have been a tranquil, sunny Sunday morning. No resolution, no one to lean on, and no closer to any sort of plan that might make me feel better.
The first hint of tears pricked my eyes, my hand tightening around my cell phone with the pent up emotions.
'...Probably time to go work off some steam, Tess.'
I always had come back to fencing primarily for that reason, after all.
It didn't take long to retrieve my shoes from the front genkan, snatch my sabre from its makeshift rack in the corner of my room, and stalk down the hall toward the back door. The dojo lay a short walk from the house on the opposite side of the central garden, separated from view of the main house by Japanese yew and sakura trees. I saw no one on the trek across the pebbled walk, and the dojo itself was deserted.
Perfect for hogging the huge floor and pretending to cut down a horde of Bokoblins.
Falling into stance was as familiar as breathing...normally. The physical motion was still as fluid as ever, but my emotions felt like a rising tsunami wave that demanded to crash against my heart hard enough to splinter it. Emotions always had had a physical component to them, for me, and this time...
Gritting my teeth, I lashed out viciously at the first imaginary monster.
My body demanded more.
Two, three, four more slices. Four more monsters.
Parry once, twice. A wide horizontal slash, taking another two.
Turn and parry.
The stalkers' unknown faces flashed through my mind instead of creatures that only existed in a video game.
I shook my head as if to rid the images from it. Lunged at enemies—again, almost involuntarily, I saw the stalkers instead of figments of my imagination.
'Go away!'
A snarl, a spinning slash, and I began to feel more than anger making itself known.
Fear. Apprehension. Sick, cold dread.
I faltered on another turn, my sabre tracing a jagged line through the air rather than a smooth whistling stroke. Michael's words jumped to the front of my mind, the face of my opponents now his.
How could he have been so callous? Insensitive? Dismissive? I'd explained to him how much Alexa meant to me before in simple language that left out so much detail—but even without it, shouldn't that have been enough? Didn't he care that I was hurting, and all alone a long ways from home? Didn't it mean something that I'd chosen to reach out to him before anyone else?
My knees impacting the thick mats jerked me from my thoughts, realizing my legs had gone weak, my body was shaking, and the first tear tracks wet my cheeks. A lump was growing in my throat, preventing the hole in my chest from escaping and thus shrinking.
All my emotions wanted was to curl into a ball, head tucked to my knees and fists clenched almost as if to hold myself together. Then came a sniffle, and a tiny sob, and a short, sharp breath.
And I let the dam in my chest collapse.
Perhaps a minute or two later—who knew, really?—I almost felt more than heard movement nearby. Surprised, I lifted my head to check my surroundings...and sharply inhaled at the sight of Sage in the doorway to the dojo's main hallway, dressed in his kendogi.
"S-Sage!" I sharply turned my head away, futilely trying to erase the evidence of my crying even as I sniffled again.
His voice was as gentle as a feather. "What's wrong?"
I leaned back, shifting to sit normally and then wrap my arms around my knees, but avoided eye contact. I'd never been a pretty crier, so letting someone else see my red face, puffy eyes, and wet nose was always a sensitive point. After debating whether or not—or how much—to tell him, I uneasily said, "Just...stuff at home…"
Soft footsteps crossed the matted floor as I flicked a stray teardrop from my chin. I didn't have to look to know he'd gracefully folded into seiza, the kneeling-sit used at the beginning and end of a kendo session. "Do you wish to talk about it?"
As much as I wanted to resist the thought, there was no denying that he was offering what I'd just been craving when I texted Michael. Reluctantly, I gave a tiny nod. "Y-yeah…"
It took a few long moments before I could get what I wanted to say in order, however; my mind was a swirling jumble of broken phrases and half-constructed ideas that resisted cohesion. Sage continued to wait patiently, however. Deciding to take it in baby steps, I inhaled a steadying breath and started. "A—Alexa thinks she's being stalked."
I almost startled at the light hand he rested on my lower back. "What makes her think so?"
"She's seen the same three guys at different places multiple times every time she's gone out for the past while. Today was her dance recital, and she saw one of them watching her at the show." Remembering the ensuing text conversation I'd had, my fingers curled like claws into the fabric of my pants and my arms tightened around my legs. "I tried to talk to Michael—my boyfriend—about it...but...he just…"
Tears stung my eyes again, throat closing up in an effort to keep them from falling. Sage gently slid his hand up and down my spine in slow, soft motions. While it was still a bit odd to me that he was offering it, I definitely wasn't going to turn down the comfort of physical contact.
"He just what?"
I pressed my face against my knees, staring sightlessly at the plain floor and walls. "He said I couldn't possibly know what was really going on and that I shouldn't get so worked up because it was probably nothing—but it's not, something's wrong, I know it." A brief pause to stay composed, accompanied by a small but bracing breath. "Alexa… Her mom… She practically had to run away from home in order to move out because her mom is involved in an abusive cult and she's terrified she's going to find her and bring her back any day and now that she's being stalked I just—I can't—"
Needing to take a breath at that point betrayed small sobs lodged in my throat, and no way to stop them. The traitorous tears returned, though not in the same waterfall fashion as before. I hardly registered the pause of Sage's hand halfway down my back. "A cult?" When I just nodded, unable and unwilling to form more words, his hand resumed its soothing motions. "Has she taken any steps to protect herself?"
I offered a one-shouldered half-shrug to buy time while my brain and tongue fought to work together. "S-she lives in a pretty...decent apartment complex. She has a keychain with an alarm on it that...she said she's going to start carrying. And she wants to take self-defense classes…"
Sage, I'd noticed, had a knack for speaking gently without being quiet as a mouse. "Is that enough for you to feel reassured?"
That deserved an emphatic shake of my head. "But she won't feel comfortable carrying a knife, and even then laws might be funny around concealing it, and she's in Canada so getting a gun is all sorts of 'nope'..." Feeling absolutely defeated, and out of any plausible options, I trailed off and hid my face in the circle of my arms.
"What else could make you feel reassured?"
Somewhere in the back of my brain, a little voice that sounded oddly like Alexa was approving of this conversation—although 'why' escaped my conscious thought, at the moment. I was a bit more preoccupied with how badly I wanted a hug that didn't come from myself. Almost without thinking, I muttered, "A hug is usually a good start…"
I heard him shift slightly, causing me to peek out from my self-constructed cocoon to see he'd lifted an arm to indicate offering a hug. While surprising, considering both the cultural not-norm and how Sage had never struck me as the type, I definitely wasn't going to question it. I turned onto one hip and wrapped both arms around his torso and felt his hands rest on my upper back.
"I just feel so helpless… I want to be there for her, but it feels like there's nothing I can do about it." Pressing my face to his chest, I said despairingly, "I hate feeling like this…"
We sat like that for a long while with no further words spoken. I could feel my muscles slowly relax against the embrace, though the anxiety of everything refused to allow complete release of tension. Finally, Sage quietly, hesitantly broke the silence. "I have a few friends who…could be willing to help. If that reassures you?"
It was always a weird thing to me to hear relative strangers offer sincere assistance and care for my troubles. While sometimes difficult for me to accept, it nonetheless lifted my spirits fractionally. Hesitantly drawing my head back a few inches so as to not entirely muffle my voice, I asked, "R-Really…?"
I felt him nod, one hand smoothing over my back again. "If she's in trouble… Our exams are finished, soon, and none of us have been particularly good at maintaining school commitments when friends need us."
The thought of being able to truly rely on someone else in a place where I had no one else brought tears back to my eyes—still, even with help, there didn't seem to be any new options open to me. Sniffling quietly again, I tightened my grip on his gi. "But...if...if I have to fly back…"
He didn't immediately say anything to the implications of the cost and repercussions associated with that course of action. "Money is… less of an object, for us. And it could be only one of us needs to go."
I mulled that over briefly—then nodded, daring to feel hopeful. My body relaxed that much more, eyes sliding closed and my chest oddly warm as I simply let Sage support me. "D-Domo arigato gozaimasu…"
If I weren't mistaken, there was a hint of a smile to his voice. "Iie, tondemonai desu."
Translations
Kourin, Tenku, Rekka, Kongo, Suiko: Halo, Strata, Wildfire, Hardrock, Torrent
mashou: Warlord(s)
youjakai: Nether Realm
ningenkai: Human realm
Kaos: the Ancient One
kendogi: specific name for the kendo "uniform", including the uwagi (shirt-jacket) and hakama (pants)
Domo arigato gozaimasu: semi-formal way of accepting thanks, similar to "thank you so much" in English
Iie, tondemonai desu: formal way of accepting thanks; literally, "No, I don't deserve it"
