Okay, I wrote this chapter but I wasn't going to post it here (even though it was on ao3) but then solluxcaptor45 asked for more so yeah. Enjoy my horrible fic and all the horrible Karkat nicknames (none of which are Karkles or Karkitty).
You take a bite out of your burger, attempting to ignore the fact that Karkat is eating a raw and very bloody steak beside you.
Your name is Dave Strider and this is what you consider a date.
It isn't really the normal kind of date; the two of you are just sitting at your kitchen table, eating meat and relaxing, but it's what you and Karkat have become accustomed to. Later, you'll pretend to be against watching one of those horrible romcoms that he loves so much ("We're not watching that shit again, you've seen it like twelve times") but he'll talk you into it and you'll both fall asleep halfway through the movie. Just business as usual. But it wasn't always this way between you and Karkat, as a matter of fact, you're first date was under very different conditions.
==Past Dave: Live the dream, date the vampire
Even though that would be incredibly ironic, that's not a thing you're going to do. You can barely stand being in the same room as Karkat long enough for him to get a drink, even if you may or may not enjoy it, and you could never date that loud idiot. Rose has been forcing you two to hang out—kidnapping you, driving you out to his middle-of-nowhere neighborhood, and dropping you off for a couple hours—but you would never willingly chill with him, like a date or anything. You will however, make a bet with him.
"Yo, Karkizzle," You allow yourself an inward smirk as he growls, something that apparently does all the time since he's always pmsing or some shit.
"What the fuck do you want, Strider? Come to torment me with some 'ill beats' or 'sick rhymes'?"
"Even though both my rhymes and my beats are undoubtedly in the hospital for all of eternity due to all the sickness that they have, that's not what I came to talk to you about. Do you like free dinner?"
He raises an eyebrow, "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"Oh my god, no. There's no need to start blushing like a ten year old girl in a room of shirtless male supermodels. I know it's everyone's dream to get to go out with the one and only Dave Strider but that is not a dream you'll be-"
"Is there a point to this rambling or should I just go now?"
"You're breaking my heart Karkat, why wouldn't you want to listen to my melodious voice? But yeah what I was going to say was that we should make a bet and because I like getting free food, the loser should have to buy the winner dinner." Well that and the fact that Rose had been telling you to get to know Karkat better and become friends and blah blah blah whatever.
"Sure," Whoa, he actually agrees with you on something, "I can't wait to get something super expensive when you lose. What are we betting on?"
Rose had suggested really stupid bets when you ran the idea past her, but you had just thought of the best one, "We both have to give up something for a month, like you could possibly give up attacking my neck with your fangs. I swear with all these marks on my neck I'll scare away all the pretty girls and only attract the scary ones who are into that sort of thing. Like couldn't you just chose a spot and stick to it instead of biting all along all of the veins in my poor, helpless neck? We could even tattoo an arrow on to point right to the correct vein or whatever and you'd never-"
"Shut the hell up, nookwipe," Okay so he's literally putting his hand over your mouth to stop you from talking. Awesome. "I'll give up your stupid blood if you give up your idiotic and nonsensical rambling."
You quickly mull it over. No "rambling" (which is a thing that you do not do) in exchange for no more bite marks or having to deal with focusing on keeping your mouth closed so no uncool sounds come out. You are so going to win this.
You put your hand out for a shake to seal the deal, "You got yourself a bet, Karcreamy."
==Past Dave: Skip forward two weeks
You've won the bet. He obviously couldn't resist your Strider charm or your delicious blood, and your win has nothing to do with the fact that you (ironically?) brought and wore V-necks for the two weeks that he lasted. You knew you we going to win the day after the bet was made, Rose and Kanaya had decided to force you two to go with them a movie—twilight, ironically enough—and you could feel Karkat's eyes on your well-exposed neck the whole time, even if he was missing the exact kind of horrible movie that he loves. You've just enjoyed a lovely gourmet dinner—and by gourmet, you mean burgers and fries—you are now being driven back to your apartment by Karkat.
You wonder how the two of you haven't crashed yet with how he keeps goggling at your neck, but you can't really blame him though. He didn't have a thing to eat and he must be starving, but Rose, your self-appointed bet monitor, had ruled that he was no allowed to "drain all the stupid blood from your annoying hipster body" (his words, exact quote) until he had fed you as per bet rules. And you definitely weren't making it easy for him by wearing a shirt with a nice embellished neckline. He does however act civilly about it, walking you up to your door and everything, and you thing he might just let the whole "drain your blood" thing go. That is, until you open the door to your apartment and he practically leaps on you, so now you're halfway into your apartment, on the ground, and he's straddling you. He grins at you and in a second his teeth have stabbed through you skin and he's sucking and swirling his tongue around the brand new and very sensitive bite marks and oh my god you think it feels really good.
"Nrgh, K-Karkat…" and at this moment you realize that you have forgotten to keep your mouth shut and now your moaning like some kind of… uncool animal that moans. Your heads a bit too clouded to think of a good example right now, but all you know is that this night could not get any worse.
"I thought this was a family friendly complex."
Of course it's Lalonde. You open your eyes (that you hadn't noticed you had closed) to see Rose looking down at you with a slight smile. You are never going to hear the end of this.
Karkat disconnects himself from your neck with a huff, "Goddammit Lalonde, can't you see I'm eating?"
"I just came by to see if my dear friend enjoyed his date. At least try and get into the apartment before you ravish him. The two of you could've scarred some poor innocent bystander." Karkat rolls his eyes and you are definitely not blushing right now, no you are not.
"Whatever," Karkat stands, scowling, "Goodnight Rose." And he's legitimately dragging you into your apartment.
"What? Rose why are you not helping me? What's happening here?" You see Rose happily waving to you before Karkat shuts the door.
"Now then, where were we?" and he goes right back to draining your neck.
==Dave: Be civilized
You can do that, since Karkat obviously isn't.
"Karwii, you have cow blood dripping down your face."
He gives you a fanged grin as he wipes off his face, "We could always add some human blood if you wanted."
"Nope. Stop that alien vamp voodoo shit. You just ate; you will not be sucking my blood right now. You're way too greedy and you probably need a diet or something and-"
He cuts you off with a bloody kiss, "I get it all right? Just shut your talk blaster. We're going to watch 27 Dresses."
"Like hell we are," you feign complaining as you follow him into the living room, "I'm not watching that again."
Another perfect ending to another perfect day.
So I think I'm p much done with this, but if any plot bunnies (or prompts, I'm open to those) come along, I'll continue it.
