They were all walking. The hot sun blazed on their backs, but he did not mind that. If anything, he wished it would blaze harder. Physical pain was easier to handle than mental pain. The mental torture Michonne put him through. She didn't even give him a chance to enjoy that kiss. It was over before it began. Darting his eyes at her, she was right beside Rick and Carl. And he was right beside Carol and Beth. He couldn't believe this was how it was supposed to be. Not with both of them unhappy. He slightly jumped when he felt a hand touch his shoulder.
"Are you alright?" Beth asked. Her innocent eyes showed her concern.
After everything she had been through, she still found a reason to smile. To love. To live. He needed her close to always remember this. But it was not her love he wanted.
Weeks passed and he reverted to his old ways. Beth's eyes found Michonne and Rick. Maybe it was because of their growing connection. Daryl used to be his right-hand man. Now that changed. Everything changed. Her father used to be alive. Rick used to be concerned with being a farmer. Why could they not go back in time to the prison? Things were remotely normal. As normal as they could be for this time.
Daryl hated when they stopped to take breaks. It meant that he could no longer keep his body and mind busy. Sitting on the ground, Carol noticed where his eyes were.
"If you miss Rick so much, just tell him." If only she knew.
Michonne knew she hurt him by gravitating towards Rick. But the more Beth and Carol hovered over him…She just needed something to keep her mind off of that kiss. The kiss that had her wanting more. She found herself trying to remember every detail. The way his eyes lit up when they parted. And how they saddened when she left him behind. She tried to not see his eyes watch her closely.
"We need ammo." Rick's observation pulled her from her thoughts. "You alright?" He touched her cheek.
"Yeah. I think I know a place. Not too far from here."
She just hoped Rick would not pry more into her past life. It was not his business how she knew of this place. Her eyes stayed on Carl as he talked to Beth.
"You sure you alright?" He asked again.
"I guess. It's just donning on me that no place can ever be home. Or people."
Rick felt a sting in his heart at that truthful statement. It was what made him hesitate telling her his feelings. It was obvious. And hers for him were too. He had found a family with this woman. A woman that Carl respected. She did not want to replace Lori. He did not want to replace Mike. They just wanted to know there was someone there to confide in again. But that was hard in this world.
"So how long will it take to get to Washington?" Her harsh humor made him smile. "I know that you have a lot on your plate. I don't want you to have to worry about me too."
"I can't help it." Rick grabbed her hand.
Carl smiled at his father and Michonne together. But he also noticed the sadness in Daryl's eyes for the two. His uncle had missed his father in the worst way. Looking at the clear bottle in Beth's hand, the two smiled wickedly.
"nothing wrong with one sip right?" Carl asked.
"Maybe this will give Daryl and Rick a moment." Beth stated. "We could pretend we were back at the prison."
"Not with Garrett and Mary lurking. And waiting to strike."
"They won't." Beth said. "They need us now. And they know it." Carl noticed the intensity in her voice. Ever since Daryl brought her back to them, he knew she was not the same.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
Rick shook his head when Carl gave him the bottle of vodka. It just wasn't a good idea to put themselves in this situation. Lowering their guard was not an option. Handing Carl back the bottle, he looked at his son with a hint of disappointment.
"Dad. It's not what you think." Carl explained. "It's that. I was hoping you and Daryl could share a drink together. Not too much. It's his favorite." Michonne knew that all too well.
The nights they drank together. Telling eac hother their fears of this world. Of their past worlds. It was more than the liquor that made her comfortable around him. It was because he didn't expect much from her. Their search for the governor solidified this bond.
Rick knew his heart was in the right place, but they could not afford to be stupid now. His missed Daryl's friendship tremendously. At first he stayed away from Michonne. Now it was him. And he knew why. His brother thought he was interfering. Daryl was far from an intrusion. He needed his hard, silent demeanor.
"I miss us four." Carl said. "I mean. We are still distant and I don't know why."
Michonne's hard exterior was breaking. She was the reason Rick and Daryl's friendship was broken. And like a coward, she hid behind it. Everything she touched crumbled. Why couldn't she have been stronger? That kiss was the worst thing she could have possibly done at the moment.
"Me neither." Rick agreed. "I'll go talk to him."
This was all his fault. Rick had tended to Carl and Michonne more than his brother. But it wasn't because he didn't care about him. He had given Daryl too much credit. Everyone had a breaking point. Just because he acted like he didn't need anyone didn't mean he didn't need him.
Daryl saw Rick approach him. He was preparing himself to look the man who he stabbed in the back in the eyes. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he saw Michonne watch them closely.
"Daryl." Rick stopped himself. He hoped Daryl would help him out with his words.
"Rick. I..." Daryl folded his lips. "I fucked up." His guilt guided his tongue. He couldn't keep this a secret anymore.
"No. I did." Rick stated.
"What I did to yah. It was wrong. I can understand if yah don't want tah."
"No Daryl. It's what I did to you. When we got back, all I could think about is Carl."
"I ain't blamin yah fer that. What he went through….."
"But I am. After that one conversation I thought you were alright. But I wasn't. and that is how I should have known you weren't either. You've had my back from the beginning. I don't want that to change. I need you."
"Rick. You don't understand. I did something…" Daryl wished Rick could give him the chance to talk.
"I forgive you with Joe. I know you were with him to survive. That you had lost Beth. Now you have her. Everything is going to be fine now." Daryl nodded. "Besides I need my brother's help."
Michonne pulled out her map. Never would she have thought that traveling and seeing so many places would help her out in the long run. And it surprisingly brought her closer to Terry. He was the reason she had this sword. And his love for antiques and weapons brought her to this place. It would be much quicker if she went alone. 2 days tops. But she already knew Rick wouldn't let her do that. She said it herself stupid would get you killed. Maybe that was what she wanted.
She felt them approaching her. Daryl was approaching her. And it would take all her strength to focus on Rick.
"Michonne. Are you sure this is the right location?" Rick asked.
"Yes. I've been here many times. I'll be back before you miss me." Michonne put the map in her bag. "Just make sure Carl doesn't try to follow." Daryl watched the parents laugh about their child.
"It still ain't guaranteed that this place is promised 'Chonne. Yah always want to run off on impulse." Daryl offered his opinion. Maybe he said this to disrupt their moment. He wished he was allowed to look at her the way Rick could.
"I do not run off." She bit. Of all people, why did Rick have to tell Daryl about this? She wasn't his business. But there was a part of her that he was speaking up. He was the only one who was not afraid to say how he felt.
"I didn't mean it like that. Yah don't have to bite my head off every damn time someone don't agree wit yah." The two began to argue.
"You always do this." Michonne challenged. "Accusing me of abandoning you guys. Like you guys don't mean anything to me."
"We probably don't." He whispered under his breath, but he knew she heard him.
Rick watched them go back and forth. Michonne had a strong personality. But Daryl was not afraid to speak up for himself either. Never had they seemed so enraged. But he knew Daryl was scared of losing their family again.
"'Chonne. Daryl didn't mean it like that. We all want you safe." Rick cupped her face. All she could see was Daryl's hurt eyes on them.
Good. She would hurt him like he hurt her.
He turned his back to them. He did his best to make her stay with them. But once again, she had to run. If he had learned to be around them, why couldn't she? Why couldn't she be around him? Why was she hard-headed to think she could do this alone? Walkers. Unneighborly people. They had had this conversation before.
"Daryl could you go with Michonne?" Rick's request caught Michonne by surprise.
Of course Rick couldn't leave with her. He had to lead the others.
"I don't know Rick." Michonne stated.
"Why not? You two are unstoppable together. At least with him, I am guaranteed that I will see you again. He can make a weapon out of anything. Hotwire a car."
"You will see me again." Michonne assured as Rick kissed her cheek.
Daryl had to walk away from this.
He couldn't tell Rick no but they couldn't be alone together. If Rick hadn't have been there he would have kissed her again. The only thing he could focus on were her dark eyes and how her lips puckered when she was angry…
"here you go." Beth handed him the bottle. "I know you won't drink it, but I just want you to know that I am thinking about you."
"I know." He saw Michonne watch them. Her cold exterior never faded, but he knew he was hurting her.
"I knew that when we burned down that cabin, you were someone that I always wanted in my life. And when you found me, I knew I was important to you. I just hope you come back to me." Beth hugged him.
"I will." He gave her a knife. "Remember to watch yer back."
"I will." Beth rubbed his cheek.
She watched the two leave. If anyone could survive, it would be them.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
This was what she wanted. For him to forget her. And that kiss. But it didn't stop the knife from being plunged in her heart deeper. How could he burn it down? It was their place together. As they walked, she made sure to put distance between them. Their eyes caught each other from time to time. But that didn't make them lower their guards. Walking in the woods, they kept their eyes on the open territory. Putting their strife in the back of their minds.
"How long will it take us to get to this warehouse?" Daryl noticed the walker tracks.
"1 hour. Don't worry. Walkers haven't been around here for 3." She stated. At least she was paying attention to his teachings.
"Meanwhile we have to look for shelter soon." He pointed to the clouds. "This is what I'm talking about. Yah and yer impulsive actions."
"Don't you start. I always think. I am always doing what is best for everyone. For Rick. Carl. You. But as always you have to act like a child when I don't do what you want."
"Yah should know about being a child. Actin out. Sayin stuff. Doin stuff to get back at meh. Hiding behind that block wall yah built. Acting like we cant be together for Rick and Carl's sake. But I know why we can't be together."
"O you do." She folded her arms. His words always shook her to the core.
"Yeah. It's because yer scared. That's the thing. Yah do it fer us, but what about yah. What do you want? Is it so hard tah want to be happy? Yah didn't need to go for this ammo and yah know it. Rick may think that you are alright because yah hide it so well. But I know yah ain't. Yah don't have to hide no more." He touched her cheek.
"I'm done talking to you." Michonne lowered her weapon as they continued walking.
"Well I ain't done talking to yah." The thunder clasped. "Why did you want to do this by yourself? Were you really hoping you wouldn't make it back alive?" He stood in her path.
"Get out of my way." She raised her voice as he kept blocking her path.
"Hell nah." He continued his actions. "Tell meh."
"Because I don't care what happens to me alright. Everyone just says they care for me but they don't. They never did. Rick just cares because I support him with Carl." She exploded.
"Rick loves yah fer the same reason I do. Because yer bold. Fierce. Determined. Nothing can stop yah." He touched her shoulders.
Daryl let it slip, but it was the truth. He did love her. And he couldn't stop. The void inside of him was because of her. He was used to living with pain but not this kind. She thought everyone forgot about her, but it was him they forgot.
"You don't love me Daryl. If you did, then you wouldn't have done what you did." She tried to make sense of this all.
"Michonne, I thought you were dead that's why I burned it down." His anger grew. "I didn't want to think about yah. Or deal with tha thought of yah dead. Yah ain't the only one who has the right to be upset. "
"Daryl."
"No. it's my time to speak." He silenced her.
"Did yah ever think about how I felt when ya kissed meh and ya just walked away. No yah didn't because yah don't care. You don't. Do you know what's it like to watch Rick touch yah and yah not stop him? I should be upset with yah. But what I feel fer yah…" His throat grew hoarse.
"I love you Daryl. I knew it the minute you came back to me. " Both were emotionally drained from arguing with one another. Loving one another. Wanting one another.
The rain lightly pattered on the ground. It was not loud enough to drown out the anger and betrayal they both felt for one another. Despite this, their love overpowered it.
"I knew it the moment I came from looking for the governor. I came back for you." Her eyes shined with tears.
"I got to find a car." He began to walk away.
He had waited to hear those words, but he could not enjoy it. It was another let down for the future. But since that night, her icy mask cracked. And though he hated to see her cry, she had to feel what she did to him.
"You can't do that." Michonne's voice cracked.
"Yah mean walk away like you did meh." His feet kept moving. "Completely ignoring how I feel. Only thinkin yah are doing us both a favor when yah aint." He felt a grip on his wrist.
"Why do you make this seem simple when it's not. Not even close. Will you just stop?"
"You never answered my question. What do yah want?" The two both ignored the rain falling.
"I told you when I kissed you." Daryl didn't have to search her eyes to know this was the truth.
"That ain't good enough."
"Then what is?" He closed the gap between them.
This time their kiss was desperate, yet slow. They didn't know how long this would last. As the rain pattered, their bodies melted together. Gripping his shoulders, Michonne gave his tongue entrance. His calloused hands gripped her hair. She didn't mind his firm touch. Her hands did the same.
Daryl was lost in the feel of her hands in his hair. He heard her light moans as their tongues twirled together. His hands rested on her waist. This was the moment he had waited for. She trusted her instincts. This was right.
