To : linuxrulez ripcrackhead . com

From : princessintraining genovia . com

Subject : (none)

Michael, I'm sorry.


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To : princessintraining genovia . com

From : linuxrulez ripcrackhead . com

Subject : (none)

I'm sorry too. Just you were being so… well, you were over-reacting. I didn't know how to respond to everything, I didn't think that you put so much emphasis on my 'gift'. But in my defence I didn't lie, you just didn't ask. We never talked about ex's. It's not as if I wanted to hear about Josh Richter or Kenny or anyone really because you're mine now and that's all that matters. Or you were mine or well, that's a grey area now I suppose.

Judith is just a girl, she was my Josh, without the press leak and front page news thing. Sure, stuff happened but it meant nothing. What Judith and I shared was less then one percent of what we share everyday.

Sex is nothing Mia. Sex and Love are two completely different concepts, opposite ends of the room type of concepts. You can totally have the one without the other. I love you, but we're not having sex. I didn't love Judith but we had sex.

I'm trying to explain that it's not the actual act that matters it's how you feel during the act. What I feel for you, that's what matters. Not some night I shared with someone 3 years ago. THREE whole years Mia. In that time I have fallen in love with you.

This isn't just some stupid passing relationship either. I really love you. You know people think that love, real true whatever love is just like in books or fairytales. That's such crap. Love makes you so miserable and pathetic. You don't own yourself anymore and you find yourself doing and thinking and saying things you never normally would. It hurts, it's difficult and it's strange and you're scared of loosing yourself every single minute and it's only real if that's how it feels when I'm with you. I'm so afraid of loosing myself. I feel like I'm falling all the damn time but when you're with me it's all ok, the whole world goes quite and I don't have exerts from that mornings lecture rolling around in my head or titbits from that mornings hot or not poll or Lilly yelling at me I just have you, the sound of your voice, your face.

Everything is quite and perfect and I completely forget about everything else whizzing around us. That's how I cope with the whole princess thing, the whole paparazzi showing up to casually take photos of me between classes. Because when I'm with you - you're not a princess, you're not going to rule a country one day, you're just Mia. Your that cute little girl with the bob cut hanging upside down from the monkey bars with your lips all blue from icy pole.

You make my world go quite Mia, and just nothing matters. That's why I took so long to tell you about Japan. If I thought about you and you not being in Japan and me being in Japan without you for too long I knew I couldn't go without it breaking my heart and it did anyway.

Now I'm at the other side of the world and some guy who doesn't even have a real name, he has initials is scamming on my girl. Well, the one who was my girl.

Those notes you sent me, their in a shoe box under my bed with a paper snow flake from that night – amongst other weird sentimental trinkets that remind me of you. When I finally understood it was you who was sending me the notes I didn't believe it. Well, them, I didn't believe Tina and Lilly. I didn't understand why you would pick me.

You could have any boy in the freaking world. You could quite possibly take Prince William for a spin on your own private jet. Josh Richter – (yes I see the irony but I'd rather mention him then J.P) – just anyone and you were sending me notes. Furthermore you'd liked me for a while. I couldn't understand how you could fall for me.

Nonetheless after you kissed me, at the ball, that night I swore I'd make sure you wouldn't be able to question the reasons why you were with me. I guess I sort of broke that promise.

The whole sex thing wasn't meant to ruin us Mia, it was supposed to bring us closer, a new way of expressing our love but it cause more problems then well, anything else.

I just wanted to be with you, like that. If that makes sense. Considering right now I could swear that the weird panda on my keychain just waved at me I must be more delirious then I thought so I doubt a good dead of this makes sense – so at least everything matches. I do love you Mia. I rightfully hope that J.P is in a terrible accident and I hope that maybe you'll read this and well, get it.

You'll get that I didn't mean for anything bad to happen with the sex, you'll get that I only ever wanted what was best for you, that I never lied to you and more importantly of all, that I love you. I'm pretty sure I'm going to love you forever Mia. I just hope you can feel that too.

The moon is coming out soon, it reminds me of that birthday, you know, when we watched star wars and made out in the den. Look up at the moon Mia, it's the same moon – anywhere in the world, we'll always have the moon.

Michael.


Michael re-read his message a few times and pressed the save draft button. He didn't have the heart to delete his deepest darkest feelings right now. It was always so alien to him how people could pour their hearts out on online blogs and in chats and all that. He understood, if you keep moving your fingers you tend to type away your should until you're exhausted and empty and all you're left with are pages of words that are all you are and feel.

Michael's ears perked up as he recognised the familiar buzzing of his phone. He flicked the lid open and held it to his ear.

'Mr. Michael, we have the new supplies, when can you come to the lab?' Michael sighed, It was Mr. Nakowakti… something or other. His name was so long and complicated that he'd just nicknamed him Kow or Jimmy depending on the day. Kow cause at least he could feign now being an insensitive American and Jimmy cause he had a thing for Jimmy Hendrix.

'Sure thing, I'll be there in a minute".

He signed off and looked at the fading afternoon sky and wondered if Mia would be looking too. He doubted she cared if he was, nor if he sent a reply. She'd be busy at a charity event for something or other. Orphans who can't afford endangered furs with J.P.

He picked up his jacket and walked out, unknowingly leaving his scarf behind.


Don't own, reveiws are love.