DISCLAIMER: 'Naruto' is not mine, that happy honour belongs to Kishimoto Masashi!
Thank youmayuko-chan and Scoodoo58 for your reviews! I really appreciate them:)
And, coolRiku, I'm so honoured to read that you were actually looking for my story! (cries) Thank you SOOO much, you guys!
Oh, and no, this is an AU, they are not ninjas!
Chapter Two: Save Me Sakura! ... Not
"Holy cow, Sasuke! You have absolutely no junk whatsoever in this fridge! Is fruit all you ever eat? And soy milk? There is absolutely nothing interesting."
I huffed indignantly. "Excuse me, but who gave you permission to raid my kitchen?"
He ignored me completely (as usual) and flung open the cupboard, watching the entire contents spill out.
He almost face-faulted. "Fruity bars, health snacks, berry flavored K-time muffins, a zillion boxes of cereal – you…you're so weird."
"I only take up after you."
"I cannot believe it …" Then he started screeching. "HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT CHOCOLATE!"
I blinked at him in surprise.
"I haven't had chocolate before. What's -"
He looked flabbergasted for only a minute before he rose swiftly.
"Right. That's it." He pulled the apron off, threw it over the sink, whipped his cloak around his shoulders and had dragged me out of the kitchen and out the door onto the street before I was aware what was happening. We started walking. Well, he was walking and I was being dragged.
I tried – unsuccessfully to get out of his grip, but he had this weird determined gleam in his eyes that freaked me out, so I decided to stay put … for now anyway …
"Um … where are we going?"
"To the store, where else?"
"Why?"
"To get something decent to eat."
"Fine, as long as you pay."
"Me? I'm broke!"
"Yeah right. YOU'RE the one who wants to get fat – fatter, I should say. Plus, you came uninvited."
"Uninvited? That's a laugh. I bloody gave you three days notice!"
"You – or some other idiot – wrote: 'Sasuke beware you're in for a scare' on the back of an out-of-date Christmas card. And it said 'From Orochimaru and friends'."
"That damn Kisame," Itachi muttered.
I looked at him sideways. "Who?"
"Oh, Kisame. He's my best bud."
"Oh." Big deal, I thought to myself.
Hey, wait a minute.
Itachi has a best friend?
Who was this person, anyway? They must be really psycho … I mean, whoever has Itachi for a friend has to be a mega-psychomaniac …
"Um, it's a 'he', right?"
Itachi turned stared at me.
"Yeah."
"What does he look like?"
"Well, he has um…whitish skin, and um, he's really tall, and he kind of looks like a shark, and he's a bit…" Itachi paused. I decided to help him out.
"Poofy?" Whoops. I shouldn't have suggested that too soon … But imagine Itachi having a friend. You can't, can you? Don't blame you, because I can't either.
He got really cheesed off. His teeth clenched. "Now what made you think that?"
"Oh, nothing in particular, I'm just curious." Phew … that was a close one …
Well not really.
"I don't make friends with poofs."
I snorted.
"That's weird – I thought it took one to know one?"
Oops.
He froze, mid-way while dragging me, bringing me to a sudden skidding halt.
He turned very, very slowly. Each word spat out equally slowly.
"You. Nasty. Little –"
I pulled myself free and took off down the street at top speed, sniggering. He deserved that, hell yeah he did.
Running up the road, I turned the corner, towards the plaza. I hurried through the car park and in through the automatic glass doors. I skirted the giant escalators, dodging the noisy crowds going up and down it.
I looked over my shoulder at the automatic glass doors, and suddenly – CRASH! I nearly fell backwards over the escalator's glass railing.
"YOWWWW!"
"Oh! I'm sorry Sasuke-kun!"
I rubbed my shoulder and looked in front. Haruno Sakura was standing there, gawking at me curiously.
"I've never seen you here before, Sasuke-kun!"
I reddened. Then I looked behind my shoulder again.
"Look, there's this guy after me, and he's too loopy for his own good."
Her eyes bulged and then narrows. "Who is it? I'll kill him for ya'!"
I smirked. "He's my brother. He's staying at my house."
I glanced behind my shoulder again.
"That's him!"
Sakura only glanced briefly at the figure in the black and red cloak, which explains what happened later on.
"He's from Akatsuki?" She asked with interest, noticing the costume.
"Yeah, but never mind that! I have to hide!"
Sakura's eyes brightened. "I know somewhere he won't look! Come with me."
She started leading me towards the main part of the plaza. Then she froze.
"Oh! Crap, it's Ino-pig." She muttered under her breath, her eyes flashing furiously. Then she did something really weird which scared the living hell out of me. She slipped her hand into mine and held it out blatantly for Ino to see.
I hate being the centre of all their girlie fights – it makes me nervous thinking of what they gonna do to ME next …
"Sasuke-kun, what –" Ino began to say but Sakura shushed her.
"Go away Ino-Piglet-Chan! Sasuke-kun and I are busy at the moment!" And she dragged me across the middle of the shopping centre.
Gosh did she have to say both of us were busy? It sounded highly suspicious …
Before I could protest, she'd dragged me right to the back and had started hauling me up the stairs.
I just had time to see Itachi running towards me, fists clenched and teeth bared. Then he knocked over an old lady with a walking stick and tripped over the seat leg, looking like Sailor Moon throwing her tiara at some evil dude.
Sakura saw me gaping in horror and started ushering me upstairs, nearly tripping me up as well in the process.
At last we reached the top. Sakura was looking incredibly serious. I wasn't too sure I liked that determined look …
The upstairs area was even bigger but less crowded, and it was pretty easy to spot someone. I pointed this out to her but she said it didn't matter at all.
That was until she saw her favorite shop. And her favorite type of dress. Her eyes widened in disbelief. And utter joy.
"Yippee!" She rushed over to the shop, admiring the dress from all angles and feeling the soft material. I hurried up to her, seething.
"Listen, no time for this! He'll kill me!" I hissed. She looked at me for a sec, and then suddenly as if a light bulb had gone off in her head she started grinning. At me, which was even worse. I took a step backwards uncertainly.
"Just a sec, Sasuke-kun." She gently unhooked the hideous thing and, her hand firmly gripped on my arm, she started leading me to the changing rooms.
"Why am I –?" I began, but she clamped a hand over my mouth and shoved me into one of the change rooms, slipping in after me. "What the –"
"Hurry up Sasuke-kun! Just put in on over your clothes!"
My eyes must have bulged. "You're joking," I said, edging away from her.
Then – boy, she's tough – she lunged towards me. "C'mon Sasuke-kun, you're the one who said you need to hide!" She dragged me forward and then threw the hideous thing over my head, yanking it down and practically pulling my ears off while at it. After she'd adjusted it over my shirt she started looking me up and down, smiling. I was too shocked to speak.
"Oh, wait!" She zipped the change room curtain open, and ran out into the middle of the shop. I panicked as I saw her leave.
"S-Sakura! Wait! Don't leave me stranded in this stupid –"
I ran out after her then heard voices – someone was coming into the change room area. I was about to run out when I stopped dead in realisation …
I was wearing a dress but I still looked like a boy. I mean, at least my head still did. I scurried back just as they entered. I didn't want them thinking I was a cross-dresser … well I'm not!
Where as before I was being dragged reluctantly into the change room, this time I couldn't get in fast enough. I was running, bolting, when I tripped over the hem of the dress. I stumbled, and almost went flying into the change room head-first, whipping the curtain closed with my feet.
Close one …
I'd just scrambled to my feet when Sakura raced in, holding a straw sun hat with a lace red ribbon around it and a huge sunflower.
"I am not –"
Before I even got to finish my say, everything went black. At first I thought I was either knocked out or blind. Then I realised that she'd dragged the sunhat over my eyes. She pulled the flap back up and peered at me, smiling.
"Sorry Sasuke-kun!"
I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd said Sasuke-Chan …
Then she started messing with my hair. Pulling and yanking and twisting. At last she dragged me out into the shop.
"Stop walking like yourself! Walk sassily – walk like a girl! Don't slouch your arms like that – keep them straight! Shoulders down, and for once keep your head down!" She sounded like a ballet teacher or something. I did what she said, but kept my eyes up. And I could see why she was fussing …
Itachi was sauntering up the floor, looking straight at the shop.
"I'll have to hide," Sakura whispered, edging away. I clutched at her arm.
"Don't leave me!" I hissed. "I'll get massacred!"
"No you won't! And I'll only be hiding behind that skirt rack! Good Luck!" And she slipped away, leaving me alone to face him.
Great. She has fun dressing me up as a girl and then even more fun by chucking me onto Itachi's warpath.
I pretended to be checking out a dark blue gown. It was hideous. I tried not to picture Itachi wearing it but I couldn't help letting the vision slip into my mind …
Itachi reached the shop entrance.
Holy crap … here goes, I thought.
He stalked behind me. I could feel the gush of air as he moved swiftly. From the corner of my eye I could see Sakura's pink hair from behind the skirt rack.
Then suddenly he stopped.
Right behind me.
"Excuse me, but I've seen you somewhere, haven't I?"
I practically choked. I slowly turned to face him, letting the brim of the sunhat drop over my forehead.
"Ye – oh, sorry, no," I said flatly, eyeing him. Oops! I cleared my throat and spoke in a girlishly soft voice.
Trying madly to remember the way stupid gushing girls acted, I squeaked out. "I mean – Oh, no, I haven't seen you before. Who are you?"
Bad question. I could see the guy practically puff his chest out …
"I am Uchiha Itachi, Vice Captain of Akatsuki."
VICE CAPTAIN? I never knew that. Huh, no wonder Akatsuki sucked so much …
I pretended to blush.
"Ooooh, really? I like Akatsuki." I tried my hardest to refrain from screaming out "Akatsuki Sucks Ice!" repeatedly. The temptation was overpowering.
Itachi grinned.
"And, you are …?"
Shit. I hadn't thought of that …
Who am I?
I said the first name that came into my head.
"Yamanaka Ino."
Itachi nodded, impressed. "Cool name."
It was not. I had to fight the urge to snort out loud …
So I smiled in a fake way.
"Thank you!" What I am actually thinking of is "When is this jerk gonna leave me in peace?"
He smiles back. All gooey and all.
Then he suddenly leans towards me, and his voice drops. I stepped backwards slightly, feeling like I'm going to bolt any second …
"That dress suits you so much! In fact all the beautiful clothes in this shop suit you."
It has just hit me that the guy is in love with me. Don't get me wrong – I've seen that expression millions of times. His eyes are glowing. His voice is soppy. He is smiling the way he does when he sees a girl he likes. He probably would impress a real girl. There's only one black mark. The guy doesn't know that I'm his little brother.
"Oh … um … really?" I said coolly, trying my hardest to stop my foot connecting with his face. And to stop from puking …
Anyway, he suddenly stopped smiling and became serious.
"Well, anyway, have you seen a runt around here? He has black hair, he looks very cute but also very naughty, he is a little taller than five feet, plus he never smiles?"
I do smile, excuse me, I thought. Just because I never smile at you. Or seem to want to.
I give another fake smile. "Ah yes, he…he went to…"
Oh great, I thought in panic. Think of somewhere far, far away. Err…I know!
"Oh yes, I heard him telling his friend about the Akatsuki place his brother went to, and he wanted to go and see his brother's friends and tell them things about him, so they wouldn't be his friends anymore and…basically he's gone to the same place Akatsuki is in."
Itachi's eyes widened.
"Friend? Who is this mysterious friend?"
"Ummmm…" What should I say? I hurriedly searched for an answer.
"Um, it was some pink-haired girl."
"Yes, that's the one I saw with him when I tripped over that old hag," Itachi muttered. "Well, thank you very much. Goodbye."
And he turned and stormed out of the shop. I stood there shaking with anger before I turned and stomped towards Sakura.
"Idiot," I hissed. "I thought I was going to die."
Sakura stood up slowly.
I growled. "I'm gonna get this ridiculous costume off before someone finds out that it's me, hell no for that." I started making my way to the change room, Sakura following. Then I stopped. Something wasn't right.
I turned to Sakura, who was staring into space.
"Um, Sakura? Are you okay?"
Pretty stupid question, really – it was obvious that she wasn't.
I started hauling off the ridiculous dress, and turning it back to its original stupid state, which, in my opinion, was no better than if it was inside out. I pulled off the sunhat and stood, looking at the pink-haired girl in front of me.
"Sakura."
"Huh?" She was barely awake.
"Are you okay?"
She still remained quiet.
Then…
"Wow …"
I stared at her, slowly started to get annoyed.
"'Wow' what? Sakura, it isn't that thrilling that I dressed up as a girl."
She still wasn't listening.
"That guy…"
"What about him?" I said impatiently. She shook her head slowly.
The unbelievably, she started drooling …
"What a handsome guy! He's so cool! …Ooooh! I wanna meet him again!"
I dropped the dress and hat, my jaw practically hitting the floor as I stared at her …
Shit. I was so not prepared for this. Now she was in love with Itachi. What next? Could things possibly get any worse?
…
Shouldn't have thought that …
The pixies were definitely listening that day …
