Chapter 2

In the kitchen, Ianto was making coffee.

"Hey, eyecandy"

Ianto jumped around, and said "Fuck off" when he was facing John as he had known who it was the moment that the dreaded 'eyecandy' was said.

"Hmmmm, I feel so tempted to follow the first part of that order"

"Just go away, OK?"

"Sure"

Ianto blinked in a very surprised manner. Wow, having a sense of authority was actually pretty cool. What he didn't notice, as he was inspecting cups from the cupboards on the walls, was Captain John slipping an entire bottle of vodka into the coffee machine.

"See you later eyecandy!" he said as he cheerfully stepped back into the pub.

"What have you done to eyecandy... I mean Ianto!" shouted Jack as he saw John emerge from the kitchen.

"Nothing!" said John in an innocent voice.

"Now I have to go and check that he is fine," hissed Jack, then in a slightly happier voice "Maybe he will need me to do a full physical."

"Jack, I'm fine" said Ianto having heard the last part of Jack's sentence and knowing that he would never get away if he let him in. Jack went in anyway and Ianto studiously avoided his eye, which was a good thing as otherwise he would have seen Jack put in another bottle of vodka in the coffee. It was time to serve up and Ianto swore he hadn't put that much liquid in but he thought he must have made a mistake and so he hurriedly put the coffee in the mugs instead of cups and left the room saying "Now, who wants coffee?" knowing that everybody would.

"Oh god," said Rhys "I don't think I can take much more of this." The Torchwood team were unusually high spirited tonight. He made an effort to make conversation, but none of them shared any interests or friends with him at all. In fact none of them seemed to how a life. "Oh god," he moaned again "I really need a drink."

"Hey, good idea!" said Gwen "We're supposed to be having a party, so why don't we enjoy ourselves?"

Meanwhile Tosh had walked over to the old fashioned jukebox.

"Wow, I had one of these when I was ten!"



Owen replied sarkily "And I suppose by the time you were eleven, you had already turned it into a walking robot jukebox that knew your favourite song."

Tosh looked surprised. "Well, yes, but how did you know?"

"Wait a minute," said Rhys "Are we going to pay for these drinks? My mate's gotta live, you know!"

"Of course!" said Jack "We'll pay for all the drinks we have at a later date."

"There goes our budget for this year," murmured Ianto.

"Wow, free drinks. I'm actually starting to like you guys," said Rhys.

"This coffee tastes funny" said Owen.

Ianto glared ay him.

"Never mind," he said, swigging it down quickly. Everybody followed suit, even Rhys. One of the things he had learnt during his few hours at Torchwood was that you do not insult Ianto's coffee unless you wanted a picture of you naked to be put up as a poster on trees around your house, workplace, everywhere really. He didn't know quite how it would have been dine, but it could, and probably would have happened if he hadn't accepted the coffee. That hadn't happened to him but it had been a close one. And it wasn't even an insult. He had just said that he could only drink decaf as he was on a healthy eating plan.

Gwen, meanwhile, had started mixing drinks behind the bar. She came out holding a very large tray of shots.

"Right everybody, drinking contest time. The rules are simple so no cheating. Anybody in Torchwood caught cheating will be force fed instant coffee for a week." Jack and Owen groaned.

"What about those not at Torchwood?" said John.

"I was getting in to that. They will have to run around the street three times. Naked."

John just grinned.

"So what are the rules?" asked Ianto.

"Whoever drinks the most wins. And you can't leave the table. If you throw up your out! Understand."

Everyone nodded but John had a question.

"What if we run out?"

"John, there are fifty shots on that tray," said Tosh.



"And there's another tray on the bar," said Gwen.

"So that's about a hundred shots between seven of us," said John.

"That is about fourteen drinks each," said Tosh.

"That's enough to incapacitate us all of tomorrow," laughed Owen. "Brilliant!"

"If you say so," said John.

"Right," said Gwen. "Lets get going!"

"I bagsy going first!" cried John.

"You know, bagsy went out of fashion a few years ago," said Ianto.

"Whatever!" said John as he tipped the shot right down his throat. "Easy."

"My go!" said Jack, grabbing another shot.