Title: A Different Design

Series: Fruits Basket

Pairing: Tohru X Haru, Tohru X Kyo

Rating: T+

Warning: Whee with Some Mild Cursings and "Situations" and Such XD

Disclaimer: Don't own it T-T

A/N: This is my first Furuba fic. There will be OOC because one can not grow without changing who they are on the inside … uhm, there isn't really any big significant changes but eh … To each their own, ne? Please read and review!

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Chapter Two

"Fire"

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December 23, 2002

I hate catching red-eye flights, even though this is my first time flying. But that still doesn't make it any easier for me to forget, either. I'm trying to take the focus off of the tons upon tons of ocean water below us by writing -- or, if you want to be more specific -- typing, a new journal entry. I found no one to truly confide in since my arrival in America in August.

And here I am, on a metal monstrosity back to Japan, back to the seed of my despondency. Back to the core of my nightmares, my sickness. I can't guarantee that this Christmas no one will come out unscathed from past actions. My mom had always given me good advice, but I don't think there's one that could soothe the uneasiness and anxiety that rose up like bile in my throat as we got closer, mile by mile, to Japan.

That day will always be with me, locked up in my heart and mind forever. There's absolutely no way to get rid of that image. None. I thought I wanted to go to a university near Shigure's house after I graduated high school, but it all changed that day. You could say that that was part of the reason why I moved out of Shigure's house and into Ayame's.

That little revelation shocked everyone, especially Kyo and Yuki. I really didn't care what Kyo thought anymore. I knew I was going to need time to digest what had happened. I came to love Ayame as I spent more time with him and Mine at their shop. Being surrounded by such enthusiastic and creative people spurred my own imagination and appreciation for textiles. Ayame was kind enough to let me partake in some of the designs and Mine's errands. More than anything, I saw that my help had become a tangible good that delighted the client who discovered it. I knew that it would bring joy to the wearer and their guest. I became hooked to the world of fashion. It wasn't surprising to Ayame when I announced my decision to get a fashion degree in New York, America, but it certainly was another shock to the rest of the Sohma clan.

I can't stop yawning! I'll take that as a sign to hibernate my beloved laptop, and maybe try to sleep myself. More later.

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December 24, 2002

What an exhausting day! I have never felt so drained in my life! I got onto the escalator that took me down to the baggage claim area and found the entire Sohma Jyuunishi clan waiting for me. The first thing I saw was Momiji's wide smile, which automatically brought a smile to my own lips. I saw a pair of arms wrapped around Momiji's waist as he tried to run toward me with a hug. I saw a crop of white hair towering over Momiji and a serene smile that graced Haru's lips. I merely shook my head and laughed.

Shigure, Hatori and Ayame were standing to the side, my Ayame beaming like a proud father. Yuki, Momiji, Hatsuharu, Kisa and Hiro were standing next to my bags. Ritsu gave me an awkward smile and I saw why. He had cut his hair to chin length and wore masculine clothes. If I could, I would have hugged them all, with the exception of Kisa, of course. Then further from the two main groups stood Kyo. And Kagura. Side by side. But I was soon distracted by a rippling sheet of blond hair standing not too far behind Kyo and Kagura.

To the surprise of everyone, I launched myself forward, past Ayame, past Yuki, past Kyo and into the arms of Arisa. I felt an arm drape around my shoulders as I held onto Arisa. Saki rested her head on my shoulder and gripped me tighter. What can I say? Arisa and Saki are my lifelines. Without them … Haha, I don't even want to think about my life without those two.

The day passed by incredibly fast. I ended up staying with Shigure for the Christmas break much to my protest and dismay, but Shigure wouldn't have it any other way. Momiji and Hatsuharu took my suitcases upstairs to my old bedroom. Shigure was in a jovial spirit, or was that all the time? Momiji rushed ahead of us as we walked downstairs, saying something about an early surprise for me. A wonderful smell wafted through the house and Hatsuharu and I walked to the kitchen. Shigure beamed at the both of us and covered his mouth with one hand, the other hand pointing to something above our heads. We both looked up and our mouths formed a silent 'O'. We were caught underneath a mistletoe. That damn Shigure.

I felt the beginnings of a warm blush dust my cheeks as I stared at Haru. For some reason, my heart began to pound as I looked up into his eyes. A slight blush appeared on his face as he leaned in closer.

"If I'm going to enjoy this kiss, it might as well be with someone as cute as you, Tohru," Hatsuharu said.

My mind went blank as I realized that the person speaking was Black Haru. I giggled nervously and shot Shigure a dirty look, who just stood there grinning like the village idiot. The silence was interrupted by a pissed off Kyo. He walked through the door towards the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk. Kyo casually glanced our way and lifted the carton to his lips. He spat out the milk when Black Haru took the opportunity to kiss me. Black Haru wrapped his arms around my waist as he deepened the kiss.

One moment I was kissing Black Haru and the next I had my arms wrapped around his cow form. I stood there and suddenly, from out of nowhere, I laughed. Hatsuharu gave me a quizzical look, even after I stopped. I still had my arms around his neck and leaned in. I kissed his cow form between the eyes and didn't luck have it that Haru's human form reappeared. Naked. I beat down my curiosity and spun around immediately as Haru walked casually to the bathroom.

It was strange to say the least. After that, I made sure that when I passed under any doorframe that I was unaccompanied and alone. Having to kiss one Sohma was enough for the day. I certainly didn't want to run into Kyo, literally, either. Overall, the party was just one big cauldron of an excuse to get drunk and say things that supposedly one would not remember the next day.

Time to call it a night. Or early morning. It's three in the morning. Oh, Mother, I don't think I can -- ah, time for some sleep.

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December 24, 2002

Yuki couldn't figure out what exactly made him nervous. He wasn't sure if it was Ayame draping all over him and doting on him, or if it was the startling presence of Kyo and Kagura. Yuki closed his eyes and prayed that it was the latter. He disliked Kyo from their first encounter, but what Kyo did to Tohru broke that thin line between dislike and hate. There was no faking the cold, barren wasteland felt between the two rivals.

As for Kagura … he couldn't figure her out at all. Yuki found himself distanced from Kagura since the day he found Tohru at their secret base, passed out near the leeks, her tears still fresh on her face. Yuki could only sit there and put her head on his lap, listening to her nightmares. He felt so helpless sitting there. He couldn't carry her because of his curse so he tried to gently wake Tohru. She slowly opened her eyes and stared into the purple orbs of Yuki. He creased his brows and was about to say something when Tohru broke down and cried again. Yuki could care less about the curse at this point and gathered Tohru into a hug. She cried momentarily into his shoulder before a 'pyon' could be heard. Tohru held on tight to Yuki's mouse form as her tears began to dry.

"Oh, Yuki. Why? I don't understand. I thought I was what he wanted," Tohru said in a muffled voice, pressing her lips further into the crook of Yuki's furry neck.

"What did that idiot cat do to you? I'll kill him for causing you this pain, Tohru."

Yuki shook himself out of the past when he felt someone brushing against him.

"Momiji, can't you sit down for once? You're actually tiring me out," Yuki said with a smile. He knew how excited Momiji was at seeing Tohru.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Yuki! It's been almost half a year since I've seen Tohru! I've missed her so much! I wish she didn't have to go away!"

"Damn, don't you ever shut up?!" a voice hissed from behind them.

"Just plug your damn cat ears up, idiot, or get the hell out of here if you don't want to hear anything," Yuki said calmly, eyeing Kyo.

"Why are you here again?" Haru asked Kyo.

"Cheh. None of your damn business, that's for sure!" Kyo spat back.

"Let's not forget the reason why she ran away, you fucking prick," Black Haru growled, pushing Kyo back with one finger.

Kyo narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists. He almost barked at the hand that was placed on his shoulders until he turned around. Kagura stared back at him, her orbs piercing Kyo's in a way that sucked the steam out of him. She merely shook her head at him and dragged Kyo away. Yuki only allowed a small nod her way before looking away.

Thank goodness for Momiji's peppy spirit or else they would've greeted Tohru with a cloud hanging over their heads. Yuki immediately looked toward the escalator as he heard Momiji squeal. That could mean only one thing.

Tohru was finally here.

They all watched anxiously as a bevy of other passengers from flight 5809 New York came down the escalators. Tohru was one of the last to appear. Everyone held their breath as they spotted a pair of black round-toe pumps appear at the top, then revealed a pair of shapely legs that could only belong to Tohru. Instead of her signature mini-skirt, she wore a form-fitting high-waist pencil skirt and a billowy sapphire-blue top. She didn't have her signature ribbons adorning her hair. Tohru's brunette hair rippled softly in waves. Her blue eyes sparkled as they landed on Momiji and her smile was genuine.

Yuki suddenly felt movement next to him and realized with horror that Momiji was going to reveal their curse before hundreds of people. He turned around and was met with Haru's piercing gaze, his arms already around the bunny. Yuki could only sigh a relief as he smiled at Haru. Haru merely nodded and held on tighter to Momiji. Before they knew it, their flower was running toward them.

'Running? Why is Tohru running to--'

Yuki's eyes widened when he realized who was standing behind him and where Tohru was running to. He turned around to glare at Kyo, who in turn had a panicked look on his face. All eyes were glued on Tohru as she glided past Kyo without a second look and into the arms of Arisa and Saki. His face betrayed his embarrassment at being publicly humiliated, but he felt he deserved it.

Everyone left Tohru and her friends alone for a few minutes before they converged on her like a pack of hungry hyenas. It was difficult to reach out and hug them all. Tohru decided that there would be enough hugging as soon as Arisa and Saki were safely in their own homes. It was decided unanimously that Tohru would stay at Shigure's house for the duration of her visit. Tohru cringed inwardly at the thought of being so close to Kyo. She hasn't healed yet from the internal wound that Kyo imposed upon her. With her false smile Tohru found herself wielding it like a weapon, knowing underneath she smiled painfully.

There were several black cars parked outside a few minutes away from the entrance. At Shigure's hand signal, they inched forward through the crowd of cars and pedestrians to pick up the Sohma's. All eyes were drawn to the movie-like spectacle. Some passer-bys stopped and gawked at the Sohma's and their entourage. They weren't sure if this was a movie-in-progress or a photo shoot. Quite frankly, they've never seen such a huge gathering of handsome men and gorgeous-like starlets.

There was an informal party in the first black car Tohru was in. Shigure, Momiji, Haru and Yuki were the quickest to escort Tohru, so they rode with her. Tohru could only smile and nod as she was barraged with a million questions. She couldn't escape from Yuki's scrutinizing gaze, though, and fought back to get control of the situation.

"Yuki," Tohru breathed huskily.

All ears perked up as the siren uttered only one word that sent Yuki into blush overdrive. He averted his gaze as he smiled warmly and his pink-tinged cheeks stretched with amusement. Tohru sighed inwardly and congratulated herself for getting the situation under her sway once more. Shigure barked with laughter and commented about how grown-up Tohru is now.

"I've missed you all, but finding this new independence … there aren't any words to describe how happy I feel," Tohru said in response to Shigure's comment.

"I'm so happy for you, my flower! Even though it pains my heart knowing that I couldn't be the one who'd make you stay!"

"What about Ayame?" Tohru teased.

"Ah, he knows I'm fooling around on him, but he does the same to me! I can never forgive Ayame, my love, for sheltering my petal without telling me beforehand," Shigure said with a dramatic sigh.

The rest of the ride to Shigure's house continued in such a fashion. Tohru smiled as she felt the familiar surroundings fill her with nostalgia. She would have to visit Saki and Arisa, and Grandfather too before she left for the United States again. As soon as they pulled up into the driveway, Momiji shot out in a bundle of energy and wrestled the suitcases from the trunk. Haru strolled over nonchalantly and gave the bunny a helping hand. With much protest from Tohru, the two advanced with suitcases in tow to her old bedroom. The rest of the black cars pulled up and the passengers got out, stretching their limbs and exclaiming loudly how they looked forward to Tohru's cooking (just Ayame in particular while the others silently agreed).

Tohru stood in front of the house that she dreamt of many times at night. Her haven. Her refuge. Her ending to a new beginning. The last thought panged her heart, but she shoved it aside as she entered the cool hallways. She could already hear Momiji and Haru ahead of her on the stairs, taking care of the suitcases. Tohru followed them and saw Haru's backside disappear into her bedroom.

"Where would you like them, Tohru?" Momiji asked, one hand on the handle.

"Ah, in the corner, next to my desk, please," Tohru answered, scanning her bedroom.

Still looks the same. Not one thing moved out of place. Although there was a very light imprint on the middle of her bedspread. Tohru was about to inspect it further when Haru cut in.

"Is there anything else we can do for you?"

"You guys have done enough for me. I couldn't ask you to do anymore!"

"Tohru! I have an early surprise for you in the kitchen! Come on!" Momiji said, tugging at Tohru's hands.

"Okay, I'll follow you, Momiji," Tohru said gently.

With that, Momiji immediately scrambled out of Tohru's room and scampered down the hallway.

"Well, Alice, shall we follow the bunny into another world?" Haru asked, extending his hand.

Tohru could only laugh and accepted Haru's outstretched hand. Haru stood there, looking at her to make the first move. Usually, it was Kyo that made most of the decisions. So it surprised her somewhat when Haru waited for her. His hand felt so warm and rough, just like Kyo's. The only difference was how her hand was held. Kyo would hold onto her for dear life and Haru gently squeezed her hand every now and then. Tohru shook her head and smiled warmly.

"That smile finally reached your eyes. Let's not keep Momiji waiting any longer," Haru said, standing side by side with Tohru.

"R-right," Tohru said after a while, leading the way.

Tohru enjoyed the calm Haru emitted. They walked quietly, hand-in-hand, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Tohru unconsciously let Haru's hand go as she clasped her own and sniffed the air, standing underneath the door frame with Haru by her side.

"What's that heavenly smell?"

"I made something for you, Tohru! See? An early surprise!" Momiji exclaimed, picking up a tray of assorted desserts.

"Ooh! Oh! Oh! He he he!"

Tohru and Haru glanced at Shigure, wondering if the sugary confections went straight to his head. Shigure was covering his mouth with a hand, his other pointing above their head. He turned red in the face, his calculating eyes watching every single move. Tohru and Haru looked up and gaped. Right above them hung a nice-sized batch of blood-red mistletoe. Shigure couldn't help but laugh merrily at the situation. Tohru shot him a glare as he continued.

"If I'm going to enjoy this kiss, it might as well be with someone as cute as you, Tohru," Hatsuharu said.

That comment got Tohru to turn around and focus on Hatsuharu. She wasn't sure if that was him talking or Black Haru. Either way, she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist and a pair of very pink and luscious lips near hers. Tohru's eyes widened as she felt Black Haru coming closer with every second. She was hesitant at first, but as soon as she placed her hands on his shoulders, she leaned into the kiss. It was gentle at first, a light brush. But when Black Haru held her tighter, he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth more and she felt the tip of his tongue in her mouth. She automatically moaned and could've sworn she saw a glint in his eyes.

'Pyon.'

Tohru stared into the eyes of Hatsuharu's cow form. She laughed at her predicament and leaned in to kiss him between the eyes. As soon as she pulled back, Hatsuharu transformed. He wanted Tohru to look at him a bit longer in his naked glory, but he knew that she wasn't that type of girl. He could only smirk as he saw Kyo in a frozen state, his mouth opened in an O, the carton of milk obviously forgotten. Hatsuharu collected his clothes and sauntered toward the bathroom. When he opened the door fully dressed, he almost collided with a seething Kyo, milk carton still in hand.

"What the hell were you doing to Tohru?"

"What's it to you?"

"Don't ever lay your fingers on her again," Kyo said, his eyes narrow.

"Last time I checked, she's a free woman. Now, why would an ass like you lay claim to her when you pushed her aside for someone else?"

"I didn't! I -- it's none of your business, Haru," Kyo said, walking away from Hatsuharu and back towards the kitchen.

"You've made that point clear earlier today," Hatsuharu said to Kyo's retreating back.

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December 25, 2002

This was supposed to be a vacation of sorts for me, but it feels the complete opposite at the end of each day! I love my extended family very much, don't get me wrong, but there comes a time when a girl needs her privacy. But alas, today was not that day since today is Christmas!

I felt my bed shift and I immediately snuggled under the covers further, trying to capture the warmth. I sighed in defeat as I felt the body steadily creep further up my bed. I was most certain it was Momiji, the only one of the Jyuunishi who had the audacity to pull such a stunt. So when I threw back my covers to confront him, imagine the total surprise and shock when I laid eyes on Haru. With a quick glance, I realized that it was Black Haru.

::sigh::

Great. Another memory for me to hold with Hatsuharu. In the past, I regarded him as a friend, another one of Jyuunishi that I came to know and love. But after that kiss with Haru, whether it was prompted by the mistletoe Shigure hung up or otherwise, I wouldn't have unearthed an inkling of … something for the ox of the zodiac. Anyway, what happened with Black Haru set me on fire for the rest of the day. I couldn't shake Kyo's ever watchful eyes off of me as we exchanged gifts, sang carols and caught up with each other.

Kagura was there, too, but being who I am, I couldn't fully despise her. I gave her a gift and as soon as I turned away I felt my hand being tugged. I looked at her delicate hands clasped around my wrist, then at her. Something in her eyes moved me. It was profound and full of sorrow; she was determined to hold back whatever tears might've tracked their way down her ivory face. I simply nodded and felt a weight lift off the both of us at that moment.

Today would be the last day spent with the Sohma's since their presence was needed at the Sohma Compound. That was fine. I wanted to spend the rest of the holiday with my Grandfather and my closest friends. Momiji and Hatsuharu helped me once again with my luggage throughout my protesting tirade and fit of blushing. Momiji bounced ahead of us with the heaviest piece of luggage. As courteous as ever, Hatsuharu let me go through the door first. I was whirled around and found myself face to face, dangerously close to those moist lips. Hatsuharu gave me a light kiss, yet it felt as though he set my entire body on fire again. He grinned at me and pushed me through the door not a moment too soon. We clambered down the steps and outside into the harsh winter light, where one of the Sohma cars was idling, waiting to take me to my Grandfather's house.

With promises made of keeping in touch by phone and e-mail, I left the Sohma's standing somberly as the car drove me out of sight.

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December 25, 2002

The door to Tohru's room was slightly ajar. A pair of eyes blinked at the image of a sleeping and peaceful Tohru. The door moved soundlessly wider as the intruder tip-toed his way to his final destination. The gleam in Hatsuharu's eyes certainly would've scared Tohru because there were conflicting emotions swirling in them; a battle of the White and Black Haru's wills. At this point, Black Haru surfaced and licked his lips. Hatsuharu kept replaying the kiss with Tohru over and over in his head until the early morning. He hadn't slept a wink since last night, but right now he had more important matters to attend to.

Black Haru stood at the foot of Tohru's bed and slowly began to climb on top of the covers on his hands and knees. Clad in only a pair of black boxers and tanks, Black Haru stopped momentarily as Tohru shifted in bed and mumbled something incoherent, burrowing further into the comforter. Black Haru had one leg on either side of Tohru's lithe body and was halfway to her when the covers were thrown back suddenly. Black Haru eyed a sleepy Tohru, who in a second, replaced her half-lidded gaze to one of shock and surprise.

"H-Haru!" Tohru whispered. "Wha-what are you doing?"

"Hmm. I'm trying to wake you up."

"Well, that much seems obvious!" Tohru said, crossing her arms.

Black Haru have her a toothy smile and stared not into her eyes, but a bit lower … at her chest. Tohru nearly yelled at him but opted instead to pull the covers over her upper half.

"Why'd you do that? I was having such a nice view … Whoever knew Tohru had a taste for fine black lacy lingerie?"

"I mean, why are you in my bedroom, on my bed, here at such a god-forsaken hour?"

Black Haru made the rest of his journey toward Tohru, who for the life of her couldn't find an escape route. Either endure him in his human form or have one hell of a big and heavy cow on her … She shook her head to clear the last thought as her eyes widened when Black Haru leveled his gaze on her, both of his arms finding support from the wall behind her.

"I can't help it, Tohru. Didn't you feel anything yesterday? In that kiss? That god damn kiss. I keep thinking about it. It drives me crazy, Tohru, you know? Drove me so crazy that I couldn't sleep! Tell me, what's so great about Tohru's kiss? How is it that such a charming, naïve-looking girl like you has got me so fucked in the head right now, hmm?"

Tohru had enough of cowering. This was, after all, just another extension of the Haru she knew. With all of her might, she dropped her death grip on the covers and shoved Black Haru on his back. His entire weight narrowly missed Tohru's legs as she scooted out quickly from underneath him. With a snarl, Black Haru grabbed her wrist and yanked her directly on top of him. Before their chests could touch, Tohru used her elbows to hover a couple of inches above Haru. They looked at each other through slitted eyes; both, for some reason, angry.

"You're such an ass when you're Black, you know that?" Tohru asked, shifting her weight around and finding her legs tangled with Haru's.

"But you like it like that, don't you? Otherwise, you would've already pushed me away. Why aren't you doing it? Is my little neko-chan curious?"

That last question earned him a fierce slap and what followed was wholly unexpected. Tohru ground her lips against Haru's, her legs now free of Haru's. She straddled Haru and continued to kiss him. Haru's eyes shifted from the top view of her cleavage to her eyes to the place of contact between his legs and hers. Haru moaned as she continued her assault on his lips. Without warning, she pushed down on Haru's chest and sprung back, taking the sheets around her once again.

Haru felt the daggers in Tohru's stare but continued to lie on her bed. A content smile blossomed on his face as Tohru increased the intensity of her stare. With a not so gentle kick to the foot, Haru languidly got up. Tohru continued to stare at the man before her. What in the world has gotten into Haru? But the real question seemed directed to her. What in the world has gotten into her?

-----

"Let's pose for pictures, everyone!" Shigure said in a loud voice.

There was a mad dash to porch as everyone squabbled, pinched and poked each other. Hatori stood a few feet away adjusting the camera every few seconds. White puffs of breaths floated about lazily before they disappeared, only to be replaced with a fresh one.

"Hurry up, Ha-chan," Momiji shouted, his pale cheeks tinged with splashes of pink, "It's cold out here!"

"It's Shigure's idea to take a group photo out here. Why don't you come here and help me?"

"You have everything under control, so it's pointless for me to tread all the way out there and assist you!" Shigure said merrily.

"Hmph," was the reply. "Okay, one minute! Don't mess this up because I'm not doing this again!"

Tohru watched Hatori's quick pace with amusement and felt a familiar pair of eyes on her. She didn't dare turn around. Hatori's patience, or lack thereof at this point in the day, was straining. The last thing she wanted was to get in trouble on her last day with the Sohmas. She felt the retreat of the intense stare as Shigure counted down to the exact second. Tohru smiled her best directly at the camera.

-----

Jan. 3, 2003

Ah! Blog-sama, I didn't completely forget about you! I'm so sorry! If I could, I'd make you a basket of colorful rice balls. But since you can't enjoy them, how about I enjoy them for you? All silliness aside, I was alone again.

During those final days, I reacquainted myself with Shigure's house. I explored every nook and cranny and was a little bit disappointed at how tidy it was. It still didn't stop me from hunting down the small stash of cleaning supplies. Shigure will have a very clean house to come home to. After all, it was the least I could do for him as his guest.

They kept a driver on-call for me in case I needed to go visit my grandfather or my friends. Somehow, I found myself back within the comforting darkness of the Sohma house at the end of each night. Tonight left me a bit shaken, if not upset in the least. What happened wasn't what I'd expected at all.

As I settled myself in for the night, I glanced around my room. I felt as if something, or someone, was watching me. Chiding myself, I slipped into bed and turned the lights out. It was a couple of hours later that I felt that same presence again. Surely it couldn't be who I thought it was. I was fully awake now and grabbed at my covers, hoping that the flimsy material was barrier enough. I saw a familiar pair of eyes shining at me in the dark and fought against the scream that threatened to rip from my throat.

Before that could happen, though, Kyo landed softly on my bed. I wanted to immediately give into my impulse and throttle him, but I knew that wasn't the answer to the questions I had. Granted that it would have done my self-esteem a great boost. I pursed my lips at the sight of Kyo and knew that he wouldn't take it in kind. I was correct in my guess as the corner of Kyo's mouth turned down. I gleaned some sort of satisfaction from that.

Our exchange wasn't one that I'd imagined in my head. It was different and it stirred up lost feelings of desire and love for Kyo. I thought I had it all behind me, but alas, it seems that my judgment tonight wasn't good for anything. Most startling of all was the kiss. I was torn. I was so torn between being with him again or running away, leaving him behind.

But tonight was very unexpected. This visit has left me more confused than ever. I have to catch an early flight tomorrow. My classes begin a few weeks after January and I'm actually looking forward to attending them. So with this, I bid you farewell.

-----

Jan. 3, 2003

He watched her silhouette beckon to him, teasing him with her womanly body. She certainly did grow into something else all together. He couldn't pin point exactly where she left her shell of youth and innocence behind and emerged a totally different being. Kyo knew he was the catalyst for such an event and regretted it. He regretted the day he took the coward's way out.

Kyo had wanted to tell her. He tried to find it within himself to be a decent boyfriend to gentle Tohru, but nothing good ever lasted in his grasp. This last blow with Tohru proved it. Kyo moved silently from his perch in the tree to Tohru's railing. He sat still as the lights were turned off. In his mind, he imagined Tohru settling in for the night, with the covers bunched up near her body and the pillows close to her head. He waited a few more hours before he made his move. Kyo quietly opened her balcony door and slipped in. He was mildly surprised at how sensitive Tohru was to his presence, for she woke up and spotted him.

He could tell she was struggling not to scream. Instead, a scowl crossed her features and Kyo found it disturbing and unpleasant.

"What in god's name are you doing here?" Tohru bit out none too friendly.

"I just, ah …"

"What? Cat got your tongue? Or is it a certain boar?" Tohru said with evident disgust laced in her voice.

"NO! I mean, shit, it's complicated, Tohru, you just don't understand fully the Sohma curse," Kyo said, sitting at the edge of her bed.

He balled his fists at the sight of her. Kyo expected Tohru to be demure and balk at his presence. Instead, before him sat a stoic and irritated Tohru, dressed in the flimsy lingerie of a grown woman. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He wanted to leap across the few feet between them and force her down, kiss away her anger, stroke away her doubts. If he knew anything about this new Tohru, she wouldn't accept it laying down. She'd come out of it swinging her fists.

"I just don't understand Akito's bidding, right?"

Kyo looked at her in surprise. How had she deduced a part of the answer in such a short amount of time?

"Oh, yes, Kyo, in my time wallowing and feeling pity for myself, I've had plenty of time to think about the actions. I know you, deep down inside, that you're gentle. But a threat from the head of the clan can change your tune very quickly. I hold no resentment against you or Kagura, though I don't like the way you did it," Tohru said patiently.

"So, why am I here to explain this to you?" Kyo asked quizzically.

"Because I want to hear why you did it. I want to stop judging you based on what I saw. I want to be free of these nightmares," Tohru said softly.

Kyo couldn't help but flinch at her last sentence. He didn't know the extent of the damage his actions had caused her. He realized that she was letting him see a bit of the consequences. If it were possible, he'd hate himself even more. He raked a hand through his bright colored hair and sighed in defeat.

"What happened that day … was Akito's ultimatum. Leave you before our graduation day or be locked up for the rest of my life. Of the two, I couldn't bear the feeling of being caged. I … Tohru," Kyo struggled to try and explain to Tohru but it was rather difficult for him.

Tohru shifted in bed and held his gaze. She then threw the covers off of her and moved toward Kyo on her hands and knees. Kyo tensed and could only watch this person other than Tohru advance to him. She was showing ample cleavage in her low-cut red cami and Kyo found himself enthralled. Tohru stopped in front of Kyo and lifted her head. She pulled him in without much effort and lightly kissed Kyo. She raised a hand and smacked him in the face.

"Coward," Tohru said.

Kyo couldn't move for the life of him. The slap Tohru administered stung but her single word shattered his resolve. She sat back on her heels and studied him, a haunting smile hovering at the corner of her lips. Gods, Kyo swore, Tohru was a spectacle to behold. She held an inner fire in her that goaded Kyo somewhat and he wanted to quell her fire.

"Well, ah, I guess I'll see you around," Kyo said, edging away from the bed.

"Mmm. My regards to the Sohma family," Tohru said coolly, still on her heels.

"O-okay," Kyo stuttered. He didn't know what to make of this new Tohru Honda.

With a final look over his shoulder, he slid her door open and slipped into the cold night air. Making sure that she didn't sense him anywhere near, Tohru collapsed back onto her bed and fought the sobs that rattled in her chest. She bit her eyes shut to hold her bitter tears. Tohru guessed she didn't do such a great job of holding herself in for she soon felt the wet tracks across her cheeks.

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A/N: Yay! Finally the end of this chapter! I didn't want to include the airport leaving scene. I mean, do we really need to know how the Sohma's will miss her? Nay, say I!

It did take me a while to finally finish this. It was a bit tough. But then again, my life outside of this is tough. So yeah. I apologize for this installment being so late. But it's here, and I hoped you guys enjoyed it!