No. No no no. No no no no no. That was all he could think. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to come back, say his piece, and then go back to being dead. She should not be kissing him.

He panicked.

He concentrated and could feel himself start to slowly sink through the bed, then the floor.

He quickly left, just in case she came to look for him, which he didn't think was very likely right now.

This was not how he imagined things turning out. He was supposed to enjoy some time with time with her, be her best friend, and then disappear. She was not supposed to love him.

It wasn't fair.

He had loved her for so long. Had desperately hoped that someday she would love him back. But not like this. It wasn't fair that she loved him now, to either of them. He was dead, and there was no getting around that.

He wishes that he had sucked it up and talked to her. He wishes that she had looked twice at him, that she had seen how much he loved her instead of running off with Jimmy Stone. He would have done everything he could to give her the life she deserved, to love her with all of his being.

Instead he had stayed on the fringes and let his chance pass time and time again.

And now it was too late. He was dead. He was dead.

Letting out a scream he pounded his fists against the floor.

Sucking in breaths he calmed himself down. He knew what he had to do now. He had to go and tell her. So that she could move on. So she could find someone good for her, some who loves her, someone alive.

Loving him was going to give her nothing but heartbreak.

He didn't have a choice.

She didn't look for him. Deep down he knew that he should go talk to her as soon as possible, do it quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. But he was a coward and he didn't move from his spot, in the corner of an unused room, until he heard the front door shut behind her when she left.


He was waiting on her bed when she came home. She walked in the room, dropping her purse on the floor and starting to take her hair down. She looked half-put together and he realized with some guilt that he had sucked up all her time to get ready this morning.

"Rose," he murmured.

She jumped, spinning to look at him. Her eyes rimmed with red and watery. "Doctor…" She trailed off, as if not knowing what to say to him. It hurt almost as much as what he was about to do.

"Rose. I need to tell you something. And I need you to listen. Please."

Her eyes turned down and she took a deep breath, steeling herself he suspected, but she nodded. He could see tears beginning to fall from her eyes and he felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He swallowed hard, gathering all of his courage. He had to do this. For her.

"I came back for a reason." He swallowed again, his mouth dry. "It took me a while but I eventually figured it out. The day I died I was going to tell you something. Something important." He laughed then, a strained sad sort of laugh that caught in his throat halfway. He had been so stupid. "I was heading to chip shop actually. The one that we used to go all the time, remember? I hoped that you would be there. I was so focused on trying to figure out what to say to you that I didn't even see the car."

He stopped. Rose was still standing in the same spot and tears still trailed down her cheeks steadily. One of her hands was over her mouth, as if trying to hold all her emotions in. The sight of her helped him gather his emotions behind a wall. He couldn't hurt her any more than he absolutely had to.

"But that, that something, is what I'm here for. To tell you. And once I tell you, well, then that's it. I go back to being dead." He stood up, spinning on his heel away from her and shoving a hand through his hair, pacing. "I should have told you right away. I've always known that. But I could never bring myself to. I didn't want to. Because then I could stay, I could spend more time with you."

She interrupts before he can continue, "Then don't."

He turns to look at her. Her face is red and blotchy now from crying but he still thinks she's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"Don't tell me. Stay."

His eyes sting, and distantly he wonders if he can cry. Shakes his head. "I can't." At his words her face turns redder, although this time in anger.

"Why not? Don't you want to stay?"

He rushes towards her, grabbing her arms. "No. Don't say that. Of course I want to stay. Of course I do." He let's go of her, backing up. Runs a hand through his hair again. "I want nothing more than to stay Rose. Nothing," he says softly.

She takes a deep breath before asking, "Is it because of what I said? That I love you? Is that why you're leaving?"

He runs a hand down his face and it comes away wet. He lets out another strangled laugh.

"Yes," he answers.

There is a surprised look on her face, then she cries even harder. He scrambles to fix his mistake.

"No. No, Rose. Don't cry. Please." He kicks himself. How else was she supposed to take that? He hates himself for hurting her once again. "I didn't mean it like that. I don't…it's not…" Nothing he says seems to make a difference.

Coming up to her again he gently grabs her arms, gets her to look at her. He looks into her eyes. "I love you, Rose Tyler. So much. More than you will ever know."

There is a moment of silence, and it seems like time has stopped completely, in this moment. Then she surges forward and catches his lips in a kiss. He kisses her back, letting them have one moment. Letting her have one moment of happiness until he ruins it again.

Slowly he pulls back.

He moves so that their foreheads rest together and they share breaths. He closes his eyes, drinking in everything about this perfect moment.

He only pulls back completely when he feels a weird sort of shift. As if he is made of sand and his grains are slowly being pulled away. He needs to tell her now, before it's too late.

"Rose," he waits until she meets his eyes. "That was I needed to tell you. That's what I was going to tell you. What I've wanted to tell you for so long."

Understanding crosses her face and he watches her happy expression crumble and her eyes water. "How long do you have?"

He doesn't know. "About two minutes," he guesses.

This time she is the one who laughs.

"Rose-," he starts. "I need you to do something for me, okay?" He does not continue until she nods her assent. "I need you to live. I need you to live a fantastic life. Can you do that for me?"

She starts to disagree. He can see it in her face. "Please," he begs, "I don't want you to waste your life. Especially not because of me."

"I'll try." And that's all he wants, really. For her to try her hardest. To be happy.

They stand there in silence, just drinking each other in. This will be the last time they ever see each other. Their goodbye.

"I don't know what to say," she declares suddenly, her voice breaking. "I love you." When she says it her voice is strong. Certain in what she is saying.

"Quite right too." It's a stupid joke but he needs to distance himself, just a little, because he cannot break down in front of her the last time she ever sees him. He can't do that to her.

"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it." He takes a deep breath, desperately trying to control himself.

"Rose Tyler,-"


A/N: Well, that's is. I tried to keep the last little bit like Doomsday as much as I could but I've only ever seen that scene once so I'm not sure how close it is. This fic is unbeta'd so I tried my best with everything. This is my first fic so if you could give me your thoughts or some criticism that would be great. Thank you for reading!