The doorbell rang.
"Uh-oh," Charlie said.
"What's wrong Charlie," Alan asked.
"I know that ring," Charlie said, "It's mom."
"Well we'd better answer the door," Alan said, "She'll just keep ringing if we don't."
"Hold on," Charlie said, "I need to take my medication."
He drank a can of beer.
"CHARLIE," Alan said, "What did I say about drinking."
"Dunno don't care," Charlie said, "When mom comes over I have to drink."
"Come on Charlie," Alan said, "Mom's not so bad. She does love us you know."
The doorbell rang again.
"Well I guess we ought to get it," Alan said.
"Sure," Charlie replied sighing.
"Look," Alan said, "Mom loves us. She's just an alcoholic."
"Oh that makes it okay," Charlie said sarcastically.
"I didn't say it makes it okay," Alan said, "I just said she loves us."
"Well if that's what love is I don't want to see hate," Charlie said as they got the door.
"Hi mom," Charlie said.
"Charlie you've been drinking," Evelyn stated.
"Well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle hot," Charlie mumbled
"So mom," Alan said, "I'm going to try to get full custody of Jake"
"Oh Alan," Evelyn said, "You can't be serious."
"I've been known to be serious a time or two," Alan said.
"You know what I mean," Evelyn said, "Leave well enough alone."
"MOM," Charlie and Alan exclaimed
"Anyway why would you want full custody of a boy who has gas," Evelyn said, "Being a parent is an exhausting job."
"Oh please," Charlie muttered.
"Did you say something dear," Evelyn asked.
"Nothing mother," Charlie said.
"Charlie if you have something to say to me then say it," Evelyn said.
"Fine. You haven't loved us since dad died," Charlie said, "You loved alcohol and we just came second to that."
"Charlie you know that's not true," Evelyn said.
"You're right," Charlie said, "It was first alcohol then men then us."
"Look Charlie," Evelyn said, "If I had cancer would you be angry with me?"
"I'd be angry that you were sick," Charlie said.
"But would you be angry with me personally."
"No. I wouldn't be angry with you because that wouldn't be your fault but the drinking was your fault. You didn't have to start drinking."
"Well it wasn't as if I thought drinking would affect me the way it did," Evelyn said.
"Well it doesn't matter what you thought. You should have stopped when you realized that it was affecting the people who you were supposed to love."
"I tried to," Evelyn said, "I couldn't take the withdrawal. Frankly I can't believe you're being so selfish," she added, "After all that I've done for you."
"Lets not talk about what you did or didn't do," Charlie said, "and who the hell are you to call us selfish."
"Well I don't have to take this," Evelyn said, "I didn't come here to be insulted."
"Where do you usually go to be insulted," Charlie asked.
"I want you to discourage your brother from this ridiculous idea," Evelyn said.
"It was Charlie's idea in the first place," Alan said.
"Well I don't know what you're thinking," Evelyn replied, "You're being ridiculous."
"I love Jake," Alan said, "Judith has issues"
"She has more issues then a magazine," Charlie added.
"Okay," Evelyn said, "Well good luck."
