Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this story of mine. Shugo Chara!, as we all know, rightfully belongs to Peach-Pit.
Title: "Overflowing Hidden Emotions"
Author: tokiya-kun18
Fan-base: Shugo Chara!
Pairing: Nagihiko Fujisaki/Amu Hinamori
I was scared . . .
Truth be told, I was really scared to be doing this.
I badly wanted to let her know about my secret. She needed to know. If she did, maybe things would be easier.
Maybe it would be easier for her to accept me.
"Amu-chan," I called out, catching her attention. Her golden eyes sparkling with curiosity as she stared at me. Amu-chan's gentle smile was slowly getting evident on her smooth face. It gave me a different kind of feeling. A feeling that told me that everything was going to be hard for me. And so, I continued, "Can we talk for a moment?"
She seemed to be thinking about it; I could somehow tell that she wasn't sure whether to accept it or not. Amu-chan suddenly frowned, her forehead creasing as she looked over the pile of papers on the table. Ah yes, that. "But, Nagihiko, how about this stack of papers which are due tomorrow?"
We both eyed it, and at the same time, sighed in helplessness.
Yaya-chan and Rima-chan, on the other hand, patted her back and gave her a startling push. It was an action which none of us had anticipated—well, maybe aside from the two girls that did it.
"Don't worry, Amu-chi! Rima-chi and I will get on it! Besides . . .," she trailed off, looking at me smugly. ". . . We all don't want to keep him waiting, do we?"
"She's right, Amu," Rima sighed, "we can handle it from here."
"But . . ." Amu was about to argue with them, but stopped. She smiled at them apologetically. "Thanks! I owe you one!" She then turned to me and grinned.
For a moment there, I thought my heart was going to sink deeper within my chest. It was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. Time's coming, I thought anxiously.
"Just relax, Nagi," Temari was telling me over and over in order to calm myself.
"You can do it," I heard Rhythm encouraging me. I smiled warily at their thoughtfulness, but mostly, thankful that they were doing this.
"You two can go ahead of me; I'll see you guys back home, all right?" I told my Guardian Characters, and they nodded at once. "Thanks," I said in response.
"Let's go, Nagihiko!" Before I notice it, Amu had straightened herself and was standing by my side. I nodded, unable to speak, yet. "Tell Tadase-kun, I'm sorry, OK?" She told the remaining Guardians left in the Royal Garden.
She then looked over to her Guardian Characters and said the same thing as me. Unexpected, I murmured as I watched her.
After saying those, we exited the place. Amu was following me from behind, looking curiously and nervously at the same time.
As our moments together passed by, silence was the only thing that surrounded us. Maybe the noise from our environment was an exemption. Amu and I hadn't opened our mouths ever since we left the school campus.
We continued to walk down the path of silence. Our footsteps echoing as we made our way out of the trees. Throughout the time, I could feel Amu getting tensed and suspicious at my behaviour. I could assure her that nothing bad's going to happen, I thought to myself sourly. That can't be right.
When we reached the park, I came to a halt right below a breathtakingly beautiful and huge cherry blossom. This might be the right place to talk, I turned around and met her gaze. My heart was thumping really hard against my chest. It was like it's going to burst right out of me. The load was too heavy for me to carry.
"Amu-chan," I started, looking directly in her eyes. I could feel the sudden tension in the atmosphere engulfing us. I sensed her gaze upon my face and I regretted upon doing this. I wasn't fully ready, yet. Not yet, it rang inside my head, but I ignored it at once. I was the one who did the first move, I might as well be the one to end it, too.
I took in a deep breath before continuing my sentence, "How would you react if I say that both Nagihiko and Nadeshiko is me?"
I could feel Amu's confusion about this sudden subject. No, "sudden" was not the right word for it. It was something stronger than that, I just know it.
"But you said that you're twins, right? It wouldn't be much of a surprise . . ." she said, and I shook my head right away.
"It was a lie." I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side, avoiding her pained expression. "Nadeshiko doesn't exist."
The conversation started from bad and ended worse.
Both of us weren't ourselves as this ridiculous topic took place. As this topic continued on, Amu couldn't take it and ran away from me. I stood there, my gaze locked on her retreating figure. I was deeply shocked and pained. My heart ached once again.I didn't move an inch. I would want to, but I just couldn't. It was like something was pulling me to place. I couldn't escape this whole thing.
I have to apologize to her, I decided. But I only told her the truth . . .
My decision was set, but whenever I tried to approach her, she kept on avoiding me. She hadn't accepted it, I thought bitterly. I could only watch her from afar.
Even if I act now, it was all too late.
My mother said in that same night—the same night when Amu-chan ran away from me—that I would move to another country. Another form of dancing I must learn. I was partially happy about it, but the pain was just unbearable that I couldn't express it strongly.
So, time went on, until it reached the day I would have to depart. Everybody had bid me farewell — almost. All except but the one person whom I wanted to hear from the most.
Until the last minute, her voice was hard as stone. This wasn't the Amu-chan I know, it pained me so much to see her like that. It even pained me more when I know I was the source of all these sufferings.
After nodding and looking at them for the last time, I boarded the plane.
My mind drifted far away from my place and remembered Amu-chan's hard face.
I wanted to set things right. I just had to . . .
Our friendship was shattering . . .
. . . and it was all my fault.
and now i present to you an edited version of nagihiko's perspective. ^ ^ a sequel would come soon, and i assure everyone that it wouldn't be as ooc and sad as this one. please, do share your thoughts with me.
thank you for reading!
