Disclaimer: None of the authors involved in this story claim ownership of Labyrinth or any of the characters originally found within.

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From: FairiesByte(a)yahoo com

Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2008 11:35 am

To: GlitterinKing637(a)crystalcast com

Subject: RE: Guess Who?

Goblin King,

Yes, yes, you're very right. Some things never do change. You're as pompous and self-centered as ever.

I am not being childish, Goblin King, nor am I being paranoid. Maybe you don't know the adage. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"; does that sound a little familiar? I'm being cautious. You cannot tell me that you wouldn't be just as suspicious, were the situation reversed. You may not be a 'sore loser', but you did lose, all the same. If you had beaten someone at... well, I don't know if you have sports, or if all the underground is just filled with retarded Labyrinth-like games, but if you had beaten someone at something, and then they contact you after several years, and they're friendly? Wouldn't you doubt their motives?

Toby has my book? How in the... ? I locked that thing away in a safe deposit box once he began climbing on shelves!! Which... I blame your goblins for, by the way. No child habitually climbs shelves before they can even run. Do you have any idea how disconcerting it is to enter a room you just left him in and find him sitting eye level on my shelf, or on top of the television? And then, unlike the average child, who asks for a dog, do you know what he wanted on his fifth birthday? A chicken. I don't know how he got that idea into his head, specifically, but I know it was from his time Underground. That sort of thing just isn't normal. For young - human - boys, at least.

But, to answer your question, yes, I do find it quite unbelievable. What need do you have for getting to know me? It makes no sense, especially after eight years. I haven't painted you as anything - I just don't trust you, and want to know your motives. Really, I think that if you weren't up to something, your wouldn't be deep fried in sarcasm and sass.

And FYI, my friendship, your Royal Egotisticalness, is not given via any sort of reservation. It is something that is earned. And I don't like the jibe you snuck in there about my friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to run an errand to see how in the heck Toby got a hold of my book... and burn it, or something. Keeping it for nostalgic value isn't worth it if he ends up wishing Dad or Karen away.

Still not buying it,

Sarah Williams

P.S. Well, how nice. You and your tingly feeling can get a senior discount at Denny's.

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From: GlitterinKing637(a)crystalcast com

Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2008 1:20 pm

To: FairiesByte(a)yahoo com

Subject: RE: Guess Who?

Dear Sarah,

I am a king. Pompous and self-centered are part of the job description.

Whatever you do, do not give the boy a chicken. Trust me when I say that they are foul, dirty and annoying creatures and, no matter your intentions, when you have one in the house, you will inevitably end up with dozens. Horrific.

I hope, Sarah dear, that you are not trying to imply that any behaviors the boy picked up were my doing. I will remind you again that it was you who wished the child to the goblins. If you are not happy with the results, you should have wished him to the happy, genteel tree-gnomes. Perhaps you do not understand that I am as bound by the rules of these things as you were. But then, that's typical of you mortals. If it is inconvenient or unpleasant, it must be someone else's fault.

Perhaps you are correct. You have good reason to mistrust my motives. When it all comes down to it, I cannot fault you there. I suppose that I had only hoped that you would be willing to extend the same courtesy to me that you have to the majority of my subjects. With them, it would seem, you have no conniptions about offering a second chance. Do not forget, Sarah, that I do control all of the comings and goings between the Underground and Above. I am well aware that you have kept in touch with a number of my subjects, including two Fireys, Agnes the Trash Lady and a number of goblins, none of whom were particularly friendly to you during your trek through my Labyrinth. Troink tells me that you have a regular Wednesday night card game, even.

But I, it would seem, am unworthy of such civility.

In closing, you insufferable girl-child, I extended myself to you because I am lonely. Though I know that you will not believe it, I have no wicked, nefarious schemes. I simply had hoped to find someone with an intelligence greater than that of your standard garbanzo bean with whom to speak. I am limited, you see, to the company of those within my kingdom and those who have made wishes. Despite the difficulties of the short time we spent in each other's acquaintance, I have always remembered you as a strong and forgiving individual. I had hoped that...

Regardless. I will not make the same mistake again.

Jareth

The Goblin King

PS- I do not know what a 'Denny's' is, but I assure you that, by the standards of my race, I am in the prime of my life.

xXx

From: FairiesByte(a)yahoo com

Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2008 5:38 pm

To: GlitterinKing637(a)crystalcast com

Subject: RE: Guess Who?

Dear Goblin King,

Job description or no, the whole arrogance-thing tends to wear thin.

Urgh, don't worry - we gave him a cat, and that only because my step-mother hates dogs. Toby named him 'Cluckers'. The name really makes the pet, though. I promise you, never before has there been a stranger cat. It's kind of sad, really. And fine, I will concede that... I do share the blame on my brother's strangeness. However, regardless of who I wished him to, could you have possibly kept the goblins from teaching him about fire? Cluckers was never the same after that match got his tail.

You know about the cards, then? Hmph. Well, you can tell Troink that we are so not having another game night until he either gets me a new Uno set, or he coughs back up all the 'draw four' cards he scarfed down. Seriously - and it only counts if they come up... I don't want them if they've passed through.

...Actually, scratch that. He flatly owes me new cards.

Oh you just... erhh... Oh, don't be that way, you're making me feel like a heel. As you can obviously see, I am attempting civility - I'm responding, aren't I? I could have just deleted your first email and then upped my spam filters so I didn't get any new ones from you. It isn't easy for me to be nice to you, okay? Do you know why I chat with the goblins and the junklady and the others? Because they never seemed to hold onto any of the incidents during my run. It was just business for them, and once it was done, if I offered them a cookie or patted their head, they were nice and friendly. It's been eight years, Goblin King - how did you think I would interpret that? You can't expect me to erase that much time without at least blinking twice.

...

Seriously? Lonely?

Well... I'm sorry for being harsh, then. You still have no power over me, don't get me wrong, but... I do apologize.

Feeling boggled and slightly sheepish,

Sarah Williams

P.S. Where do you get off calling me girl-child, huh? I'm twenty-three!

xXx

From: GlitterinKing637(a)crystalcast com

Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2008 9:48 pm

To: FairiesByte(a)yahoo com

Subject: RE: Guess Who?

Dear Sarah,

Yes, lonely; as would you be if you spent centuries in a kingdom where the most stimulating conversation available is in regards to the relative merits of dead fish as they relate to interior decorating. And I would thank you not to mention that particular admission on my part ever, ever again.

I do appreciate your attempt at civility and will accept your apology, assuming that you have accepted my own. You will have to forgive me, but you were rather sarcastic and touchy before and so I am not entirely certain whether that matter has been cleared up.

...you know, this all may have been much simpler if you had actually offered me a cookie. You will find that I am quite pliable when tempted with baked goods.

Moving on. A cat is a most acceptable pet for a young man. I myself had a rather special feline back in my childhood. Of course I did not give him a ridiculous name like 'Cluckers'. He was called by the far more dignified appellation, 'Jareth II'. Yes, Sarah. I was pompous and self-centered even as a lad. My mother was quite proud.­

Believe me. If I had any possible way of keeping the goblins from fire, it would have been done long before young Toby was born.

I have passed on your message to Troink. He is now hard at work creating for you a new Uno deck. I would not get my hopes too high, though. While, admittedly, I have never actually seen such a thing, I highly doubt that they are properly constructed from shards of broken crockery drawn upon with crayon.

I should like very much to leave the past where it is and attempt to begin relatively anew, Sarah. Do you think that could ever be possible?

Jareth

The Goblin King

PS- You will have to forgive me. When one of my kind is 23, they are more often than not still in nappies.

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CAST

in alphabetical order

Jareth - DanikaLareyna

Sarah - MartiOwlsten