Hellooooo! I've been updating like crazy for my two stories (this and My Karate Girlfriend! Please go read it!) so I'll either switch to my alma mater Pokemon or start a new KH story. Go vote on my profile page!
Anyway, this is sort of random…which I love. Happy Fathers' Day to any father/father-to-be/boy who wants to be father out there reading this…GO BACK TO YOUR CHORES, MEN. Don't SLACK OFF!
It was the ball for all the Princesses of Heart. Minus Kairi ("She'll be asking for Sora, Xion would go insane again and everyone will start calling Roxas Sora for no apparent reason!" Xemnas reasoned). As replacement Roxas had to coax Hannah Montana to come ("Yo, MILEY, I KNOW YOUR SECRET SO COME WITH ME NOW OR HANNAH DIES!"…of course she would've obliged!)
And since Organization XIII claimed to be reformed (Xemnas even shaved his hair to deceive everyone), they were organizing it…since that's what organizations do, right?
So anyway, everyone was excited. Saïx asked Xemnas out despite the latter's now bald head, no one asked Larxene out (Marluxia tried to, but he ran out of her room crying after that), everyone tried to ask Xion out (the Organization was very fond of gays; they needed to clear that horrid name even though it was true) and no one asked Naminé out (heck, no one even REMEMBERED asking her out). The other unbothered ones decided to chill out and eat on the food which Marluxia and Luxord had so delicately made (Naminé somehow managed to con Luxord into cooking with Marluxia, and they cleared the kitchen of anything poisonous…)
Axel was excited. He was in charge of choosing the right songs (Demyx would've just set the song to his incessant singing, and Xemnas was smart enough to know that Axel wanted something romantic for Roxas) and he was currently browsing his iPod (Naminé tweaked the iPod guy's memory; they supplied to every Organization member their own personalized iPod) playlist, racking his brain for an answer. Heck, he even asked Hannah Montana for a recommendation ("Oh, I met so-and-so, and she/he is such a JERK! Don't EVER play her/his song!")
But…he couldn't get a song!
Axel sighed, as he continued browsing the likes of Youtube. He picked out 'The second star to the Right' by Jesse McCartney ("Woah, he sounds so much like Roxas! He should like this!") but aside from that one song, there was nothing else.
The Flurry of Dancing Flames groaned. There has GOT to be a perfect song…
Naminé entered the room eagerly. "Axel!" she cheered, as she hugged his arm encouragingly. The two were really close now; they even cried together when they watched an anti-AkuRoku video by Marluxia.
"Naminé…" The redhead whimpered, his eyes watering, "I CAN'T GET THE PERFECT SONG!"
The blonde gasped. The redhead nodded sadly, frowning.
"Hm…" Naminé mused, as she paced about the room. Axel eyed her frantically, his eyes wide with fear. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers.
"I got it!" she cried out, before whispering into his ear.
"Welcome to the AkuRoku show with Nami-chan!" Naminé announced, as she placed the camcorder gingerly on Axel's table. The duo sat down on the bed.
"Today, Axel here," she gestured to the redhead who waved sheepishly, "will be stealing Roxas' iPod for two things: to record a personal message from Axel to Roxas…AND to get a few songs from his iPod for the dance, where of course, Axel will be asking Roxas! That would be on the next episode, so for now, be satisfied with today's mission!"
"Let's goooooooo!"
The girl snapped up her camcorder, and the pair uncovered the hole on Axel's floor, solely used for spying on Roxas. They peeked into the hole, and they saw a half-naked Roxas leafing through the information for the ball.
Roxas was the overall in charge ("Roxas, as training and for my sake, you are to be in charge of the ENTIRE ball!"), and so, every Organization member in charge of a certain aspect had to report to him on the status. It was terribly hectic for him ("No, Axel, I CAN'T and WON'T go out with you; I'm BUSY and NOT GAY! And GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY ROOM!") so he had locked himself in his own room. In fact, only the Keyblade could open his door, but Xion gave him her keyblade ("So…if I give you my keyblade, I will get HANNAH MONTANA'S AUTOGRAPH in EXCHANGE?! HELL YEAH I'LL GIVE IT!") and aside from him, no one could get in or out of his room.
"So…Axel. How do we get him out?"
Axel stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Hm…A-HAH! I got it!"
He ran out of his room, into the kitchen, where Xigbar was…cooking.
"Ohoho, MUUUACK, my spaghetti is spectacular!" Xigbar squealed in delight in his pink frilly apron. He turned around, only to see Naminé and Axel gaping in horror.
"No, NO!" Xigbar quickly jumped into his fighting stance. He brought his arm out, and his brand-new machine gun materialized in his hand. "You SHALL NEVER GET OUT ALIVE WITH MY SECRET! NEVEEEER!"
"Yo, chill man, Xiggy!" Axel reassured him, laughing as he signaled for Naminé to keep her camcorder, "You cook well?"
"Y-Yeah…" Xigbar stammered, as his cheeks were tinted a bright red. He whipped out his spaghetti. "Smells good, right?"
The Flurry of Dancing Flames whiffed the air, and his nose caught the scent of the spaghetti. "Invigorating."
Naminé sniffed the air, and she closed her eyes, letting her nose lead the way. When she found the source of the aroma solely with her nose, she opened her eyes, right in front of Xigbar's spaghetti. "It rocks, alright…"
"Sniff…you really think so?"
Axel grinned as he strode over to Xigbar, placing an arm over his shoulder. "Hell yeah. And you're just the person we need."
Naminé nodded, her eyes not moving away from the spaghetti. "Can you bake the best batch of cupcakes you can ever make?"
Xigbar's eyes sparkled in excitement. "OH, oo, YES! I can use my newest recipe!" He opened a dark portal, casually stuck a hand into it and started rummaging the portal for something. Axel peeked into the portal.
"…Isn't that Space Paranoids or something?"
"Yeah…I sort of saved all my recipes in there. Besides, no one would take 'em right?"
Little did he know, when Sora wakes up and heads to Space Paranoids he would find the recipes and steal them. Xigbar, obviously, would head to the Land of Dragons to kill him…and get his recipe…but that's another story. Hey, go check your KH game!
"AHAH! Here it is! My cupcake recipe!" Xigbar triumphantly announced, as he unwrapped the scroll. He looked at Naminé and Axel, "but...promise you two won't tell about this! I won't make your cupcakes if you don't promise!"
Naminé held up her pinky. "Promise."
Axel nodded. "Hey, we won't tell," and he got into a cool position, "Got it memorized?"
Xigbar leered at the two, "Promise in Xemnas' underwear's presence."
"Yeah, yeah." The two muttered.
"Yay! Okay, a batch of cupcakes coming right up!"
Axel stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Oh yeah, can you write 'Roxas' on every one of them?"
Xigbar's eyes lit up. "Does that mean I can use the squishy liquid?"
"…if it means putting Roxas' name on it, then fine."
"Yay!"
And so, Xigbar started baking the cupcakes.
"Xigbar…?"
"NONO! THESE CUPCAKES ARE HORRIBLE! EEK!" Xigbar belched in horror at his 12th batch.
Axel glanced at the 12th batch. "Hey…aren't cupcakes supposed to be in cups?"
'THE CAEK IS A LIE! THE CUPCAKE'S A LI--!' 'GET OUT OF MY STORY, KISHON!'
The trio stared at the ceiling.
Uh…hi. TELL ROXAS THAT HE'S SO HOT! LOVE HIM, and AkuRoku! Uh, BYE!
Axel grinned. "I like the ceiling. We really connect…except for that cake part…but Xiggy, dude, what's a cupcake without the cup?"
"…A lie…?"
Naminé smacked her forehead. She looked at her sketchbook. The girl was usually rather patient, but WAITING for AkuRoku action was NOT fun. "This is going to take a while…"
The redhead rolled his eyes. "It already IS a while." He paced around the room, and he suddenly jerked up from his trail of thoughts.
"I KNOW! We'll lure Roxas some other way!"
Naminé grinned. "Yay!...but how?"
Xigbar snickered. "Y'know, Roxas gets out of his room for a few things. I went to tell him that I couldn't invite Ariel, and he started whining so bad in front of me, I ran back to Atlantica to beg that mermaid."
Naminé raised her eyebrow. "But how?!"
"…He used the Roxas pout."
The duo gasped. The Roxas pout was notorious, so notorious that even Xemnas was afraid of it. Whenever he pouted, anyone would obey him.
Gasp.
"Perfect."
"Roxaaas! ROXAS!" Naminé knocked on the door once, but the electric fields sent her crashing.
Roxas was in his room, with his music blasting at high volumes. The most perfect way to de-stress. Besides, Larxene was half-dead trying to defeat his electric field (she's in her room screaming; another reason to turn up the volume) so no one in particular was disturbed.
Oh right. There was Axel, alright, but he wouldn't mind. He never did. Anyway, if he DID get pissed off, Roxas could just do a little pout with large puppy eyes for him. He would just squeal and let Roxas do whatever he pleases.
Speaking of Axel…where IS he?
The Key of Destiny looked around his room. "I KNOW you have a camera 'round here. Or a cupcake-like camera! I will NOT fall for that again!"
He summoned his dual-wielding Nobodies to search the room (if Xemnas ever finds out that he summons them for such purposes, he'd just give a little pout and he'll let it slide. As usual…). No cameras were found.
"Thanks." Roxas muttered before murdering his own Nobodies with Oblivion. Once that was done and all the darkness faded away from his room, the blonde switched off his music.
That was when he heard Naminé scream death threats to him, "SCREW YOUR CUPCAKE, YOU CUTE BASTARD, AND OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR 'CAUSE I HAVE TO REPORT SOMETHING!"
When there were innocent cupcakes involved, Roxas would kill.
"What, WHAT?!" he yelled, releasing all the barriers. He put on his cloak and yanked open the door to see the frail girl smile cheekily.
"Hiya, Roxas!" Naminé greeted and the boy blinked. He could've sworn he saw something blinding red scurry into his room, but he didn't bother. He would kill that insect later.
"Hi."
Naminé kept her too-happy smile, but she was fuming inside. Dammit, why didn't Roxas scream at me for threatening his cupcakes?!
The boy glared at Naminé. "So, what the hell do YOU have to report?"
Shit.
"Er…!" Naminé thought quickly, "Xion wanted to tell you that Hannah Montana pissed Xaldin so much that he got a Nobody out of her. Her name's, er…OH, Jesse McCartney!"
"…That's a guy's name."
"Oh, right, sorry." Naminé plastered her wide smile as she peered into his room for Axel. Roxas followed her gaze.
"Do you WANT something from my room?" Roxas questioned.
"No, NO. Uh, so Hannah's nobody is called…Lady Gaga! I don't know, Xaldin likes the artist, I guess, so he named the nobody after her. And uh, Hannah's still alive."
"…Okay."
"And…" she gulped when she saw Axel (hard to miss) trying to climb up the chair. He let his two chakrams materialize in his hands, and he slowly hacked his way up the chair.
"And…?" Roxas inquired, and to stop Naminé from looking in his room, he slammed the door shut. The electric fields started again.
Really crap.
"THAT'S ALL! Ehehh…" Naminé muttered. She scratched her head sheepishly, as Roxas' eyes bore into her like daggers. "So…are you going to dance?"
"No. Tell Axel that."
We'll make you.
"Whatever. Er…do you like waffles?"
Axel finally managed to hike his way up the chair. "Aw man. I got to burn some fats." He pinched his bulge of a stomach.
He found Roxas' iPod (he had this strange habit of dumping his precious belongings next to his cupcake) and he quickly browsed through the songs, taking quick hasty notes. He could Google them later.
That was when he heard the door slam shut. "NOOOOOO!"
From the table, he could hear Naminé's muffled voice, and Roxas' dark, evil-sounding voice ("He sounds so CUTE!") outside.
He heard Naminé voice in his head. Axel, this is Naminé. I can use telepathy, for your information. And by the way, no worries, I got Roxas covered. Crawl through the hole on the ceiling or wait until Roxas finally gives up talking to me.
The redhead climbed up his iPod, and started jumping on the buttons. When it was finally set to recording mode, he panted his way to the recording part.
"Oh. Do you like sour cream or cheese Pringles? I like sour cream; how about you?"
Roxas glared at the girl. "You're stalling me for something, aren't you?"
"N-No…"
The boy rolled his eyes. "Sour cream is nice…"
"Really? OMG, we have the same TASTE! Okay, next question, er, do you think Sora's gay for Riku or straight for Kairi?"
"…Are you trying to test my sexuality?!"
"Maaaaaybe."
Roxas shook his head. His eyes downcast, he muttered, "Sora's too gay for anyone."
Axel, with the help of his chakrams and Roxas' shoelace, attempted to get up the ceiling.
He gulped down the final bit of the small potion (Alice would have to do without it) and tied the shoelace to the centre of his chakram. Holding the other end, Axel started swinging his chakram like a lasso. "YaaaaaaHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
He let go of his chakram, which stabbed right into the ceiling, conveniently next to the hole. The redhead then scrambled up the shoelace hurriedly.
"Who did you vote for? Adam Lambert or Kris Allen?"
Roxas narrowed his eyes. "We didn't watch the final episode! Sora was in Castle Oblivion, and it took the entire Organization to make him run around in circles in the castle to stall him to watch American Idol!"
"Well…most people I know voted."
"Like…?"
"Axel. He voted for Adam."
"…I can see why." Roxas muttered, crossing his arms. Suddenly, realization hit him. "Wait. Why are you asking me so many questions?!"
"Uh…because it's for my new comic."
"…You're lying."
"N-No…"
"See, when you stammer like that, you're lying. You said that to Sora when he asked if he was straight. You didn't want to hurt his feeeeelings."
Someone save me now.
"I er-!" she was cut off by a happy Xigbar.
"Naminé! I got it! It's THE PERFECT CUPCAKE BATCH!" the man yelled in delight.
"Yeah, and it's ALL FOR ROXAS, RIIIIGHT?" Naminé implied. Xigbar stared at her for a moment, before he finally remembered.
"Oh yeaaaaaaah. Right, it's for Roxas! My BUDDAY!" Xigbar cheered, hugging Roxas.
"…I want those cupcakes." Roxas hissed, his eyes looking up ever so innocently from the cupcake platter.
Xigbar stopped him. "NO! Say 'thank you' and 'Xigbar is hotter and cuter and awesomer than me' first!"
Roxas frowned. They made him do it…
He covered his face in mock tears, before unleashing his fury: he widened his eyes and stuck his lower lip out cutely into his Roxas pout. "Puh-leeeeeeeeeeez?"
"No…NO NONONOO NOT THE POUT!" Xigbar screamed, covering his eyes with his hood. "G-Go away from meeeeee!"
"B-But, you're my buddy…!" Roxas cooed ever-so cutely, his eyes widening like a little puppy. "Buddies don't do thaaat…!"
"AIYEEEEEEEEH! Naminé, HELP!" Xigbar screamed again, his legs shaking from the cuteness.
"G-Give it to him..!" Naminé whispered, as she collapsed on her knees to the ground, almost insane from the agony of his pout.
"Take it, TAKE IT! STOP LOOKING AT MEEEEE!" Xigbar yelped, as he lifted his hood to see Roxas' pouty face. He instantly opened a dark portal and ran into it, crying.
Meanwhile, Roxas stopped his pout and was greatly satisfied with the fresh cupcakes in his hands. "Yummy!"
Naminé shivered uncontrollably. She felt a large pair of hands grab her shoulders.
"A-Axel?"
"Yupyup!" The redhead replied, as he looked at Roxas, "ROXAAAAAS! Gimme a hug!"
"…Go AWAY!"
With that, Roxas ran into his room, slamming the door to revel in his newest achievement: more cupcakes.
Roxas plugged the iPod into his loudspeaker set, completely and blissfully oblivious to Axel's deeds.
He jumped on his bed, admiring his toy cupcake as he listened to songs at full blast. He heard someone knock on the door, before dropping half-dead on the floor (hey, that rhymes!), but that didn't bother him at all.
Unless it was Hannah Montana. Darn it.
"Nghhh, who the HECK is that?" Roxas struggled to get out of his bed. Out of exhaustion, he collapsed back. "Never mind."
Just as he was about to doze off, the recording played. At full volume.
"HELLO ROXAS, THIS IS AXEL SPEAKING. DO NOT ASK HOW I GOT INTO YOUR ROOM. YOU ARE SO CUTE AND SO HOT, AND I WANT NOBODY, repeat, NOBODY, BUT YOU! (A/N: I made references to 'the Wonder Girls'. They're an awesome Korean girl group; go see their music videos 'So Hot' and 'Nobody' on Youtube. Both are so coooool!) WILL YOU GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE? I PROMISE I'LL …er, STOP DRILLING HOLES IN THE CEILING! I'LL FIX THE HOLES!"
At that, Roxas looked up to examine the ceiling. He saw numerous holes, covered by Axel's red carpet. "Oh."
"YEAH. AND ER, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! OH AND THE KITCHEN CEILING LOVES YOU TOO, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS ME! BYEEEE! AND I'LL BE UPSTAIRS WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY!"
"Axel." Roxas hastily called, not bothering to knock on the door. He had his hood on so that no one could see his face even though the Organization could recognize him easily. "Axel, dammit, just open."
The door creaked open, and Roxas saw Axel's large emerald eyes sparkling. "YOOOO!" Axel squealed, bursting open the door.
Roxas had never seen Axel's room, so he was rather appalled by the Roxas plushies, a huge poster of him half naked at the Destiny Islands beach, and his Roxas-themed bed.
Naminé peeked from behind Axel, and she scurried out of the room for some…privacy.
"So…?" Axel asked eagerly, nudging Roxas' arm.
"…Only for one dance." Roxas breathed in, before exhaling in relief, "as long as you repair the holes."
Axel cheered wildly. "YAAAAAAAAAAAY! THAAAAAAANK YOU!" He picked the smaller boy up and hugged him, swinging him in his arms.
"AXEL! SUFFOCATING HERE!" Roxas screamed, as he gasped frantically for breath.
"Right. Sorry." He put Roxas down, ruffling the boy's hair. He landed a small kiss on Roxas' forehead, then he slowly moved on to his nose, and his two cheeks, before pinching them.
"…You're lucky I let you do this." The blonde hissed angrily, rubbing away Axel's kiss on his cheek with his sleeve. Axel took his hand and kissed the cheek again. He laced his fingers in between Roxas', grinning.
"You like it, don't ya?" Axel whispered teasingly into his ear, as he bit it playfully.
Roxas didn't reply. A blush crept across his face, and Axel giggled. The redhead scooped the boy up (bridal style!) in his arms and carried him to his room.
Right now, Roxas had no idea what he just did.
Yaaaaaaay! Next chapter will be our little ball! Yupyup. Will Roxas LIKE AXEL MORE? What happened to Xigbar's talent? Did Hannah Montana survive? Will Larxene ever get over the fact that she got owned by Roxas in her element? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE AKUROKU SHOW WITH NAMI-CHAN?!
…Wait for the next chapter, and review. Got it memorized? :D
