He stood in the shadows, looking through the doorway at the familiar room. He didn't know the time; midnight had long passed. His eyes fell upon the sleeping figure, and he frowned. The window washed light upon the oblivious woman's face, and he could see that her face was crumpled in distress. He wondered what nightmares were plaguing her, and if they were anything like the nightmares that he had seen that day. "Lily," he whispered, the name sounding like a sigh.
The sleep could not have been deep, for at this call her eyes flew open, and she squinted, trying to make out the figure. She turned so she was no longer facing him, clearly having recognized him.
He knew this wouldn't be easy. "Love," he said, drawing nearer to her bedside. "I'm sorry."
Not bothering to turn back around, Lily replied, "You're always sorry, James. It's rare for me to remember a day that you haven't been sorry."
James moved nearer still, kicking off his shoes and sliding into the bed next to her, still in his robes. He placed a hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly, trying to coax her into looking at him. "Lily please, look at me for a minute, would you? Let me explain." he murmured softly.
Lily rolled over to face him, anger dominant on her face. "Fine, James. I'd love to hear your explanation as to why you missed another doctor's appointment for the baby. You know, the staff are starting to think I'm just some 'kid in trouble' who's made up a husband so she can feel better about being alone. Do you know how embarrassing it is to keep insisting, 'he'll be here in a minute, I'm sure of it,' only to have the doctor tell me he's been waiting for an hour and I need to have my appointment now or reschedule?"
He bowed his head at her words. "I know, I should have been there. But the Order called me out on the field to fight last minute. What was I supposed to do, Lily? Just leave our friends there to die?" James tried to take her hand, but she was having none of it.
"You know I'd never ask you do to that. I'm just asking you to pretend for a day that this family is your priority."
James flinched as if he'd been slapped. "Lily, that's not true and you know it. I fight for this family. I fight so that our child has a possibility of growing up without having a constant threat of death hanging over their head." He spoke the words fiercely, images of the bodies he'd seen today flooding his mind. So many of them were just children. Children who'd been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and now would never live to see the end of this war.
"Well, I'm tired of doing this alone, James! When was the last time we had a meal together? A month ago? More? I never see you, and I don't want raise our child on my own," Lily said, her voice breaking in places. She looked close to tears.
James felt something inside him twist, seeing his wife like this. He reached out to her, pulling her as close to him as he could. "I don't want you to raise our child alone either, darling. I want to be there for every moment of this. It kills me to miss these things. But you know I have to do my job."
"It's not fair," she told him, shaking her head against his chest. "You get to go out there and fight, get to do something about this bloody war, while I have to stay at home and wonder if my child will be growing up without a father. You go on missions for weeks, James. I never know if the next casualty I'll hear of will be yours."
He tightened his arms around her, sighing. "What is it that you want, love? Do you want me to stop going on missions?" His tone was neutral. If this was truly what she wanted, he would do it for her, even if it was not what his preference. He would make this sacrifice for her, as she had made so many for him.
She quickly shook her head. "Of course not. You'd never be happy doing that. It's frustrating to have to watch from the sidelines, I should know. I'd just like it if you could come home for dinner from time to time, or at least tell me if you're going to miss an appointment,"
Her voice, lonely and thick, made James want to bring her gaze to meet his. She resisted however, remaining pressed against him. He frowned when he realized that she was hiding her face to keep him from seeing her expression. "I'm sorry," he repeated, giving up on trying to get her to look into his eyes. "I'll be better. I'll make it to the next appointment, I swear it. Would you like to have dinner tomorrow, just the two of us? Or three, if we're being technical," he added with a ghost of a smile.
Lily did not respond immediately. Several minutes passed. He wondered if she'd fallen asleep. "We'll see," she replied after great thought.
His brow drew together at this. A thought fell upon him. "You don't believe me, do you? You think I'm going to cancel again." James observed sadly.
She shifted, rolling back over to her side of the bed. She then sat up, looking at the moonlight streaming in through the window. "I just.. I don't want to get my hopes up. I've heard these promises before, James, and they never work out the way we want them to."
James sat up as well, and then grabbed her face in his hands. He stared into her green eyes intently. He moved forward so that their faces brushed as he spoke into her ear. "I love you," he reminded her quietly. "I'd rather never go on another mission again than see you unhappy. So please, darling, believe me when I say that you are my priority. Both of you are."
Lily's doubt of his sincerity seemed to lessen as he whispered to her. She adjusted herself so that she could put her arms around his neck. "Dinner then," she agreed, with a faint smile. "But you're cooking."
James chuckled, leaning forward to press his lips against hers briefly. "I hope you've got a strong stomach, then. I grew up in a home full of house elves. I'm positively awful at cooking."
They shared a laugh and the two soon fell asleep, wrapped up together in their small bedroom, all thoughts of war put aside for that moment. For that small moment, their greatest battle would be attempting to swallow James's cooking the next evening. For a minuscule moment, in her husband's arms, Lily Potter was safe.
A/N: Didn't mean to make this a multi-chapter... but there you have it. I suppose this will be a series of drabbles on the Potters. No actual plot to speak of.
