His eyes were glossy when he reached his room, though he could not even bring himself to cry. He just wanted to scream so loudly the whole Magic Dimension would know how miserable he was.
He wished he could turn back time and hide in the cupboard forever. Maybe that way he would not feel like a disgrace under the accusing eyes of his family, maybe he would not feel so damn guilty to be himself. But after that nightmare of a dinner he had just officially become the black ship of the household, doomed to live eclipsed by the brightness of his older brother, eternally unhappy and alone.
He looked up when someone opened the door carefully. It was his grandfather.
"Helia…"
He kept hugging his legs, back stiffly against the blue wall of his room. Suddenly, he was unable to hold the older man's worried gaze.
"I'm sorry" he said, his own voice a sign of defeat "I'm really, really sorry."
Saladin offered him a small smile "There's nothing to be sorry for. I understand you have been under a lot of pressure for quite some time. That was just a reaction." And then he added "I came to ask if you are alright. You look sad."
Helia buried his head on his knees. His cheeks were burning, but he didn't want to burst into tears in front of his grandfather. He had already humiliated himself enough.
"I just can't take it anymore. My parents are always disappointed in me. If only I could be more like Marcus-"
He didn't finish. Saladin had put a hand on his shoulder and was staring at him intently, like he was trying to make a point. "Listen to me, Helia. You don't have to change a thing about yourself just to be like someone else. Trust me when I tell you that never works."
"I want to leave this house" the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them "I want to go to Art School."
"I know, son" replied Saladin "But your parents will never agree."
The truth seemed even more painful when spoken out loud. Art School was a dream slipping between his fingers. He should have known better: a childish tantrum would never change his strict parent's minds.
"…why don't you came to Red Fountain?" he heard his grandfather ask "It's not as bad as you picture it. Specialists do not only fight, they help to restore the balance of the Magic Dimension. I am sure someone as good and loyal as you will find a place there."
Helia found himself nodding weakly and then Saladin's arms were hugging him tightly, full of a warmth he didn't know was possible. He would never win that battle.
"I'll tell your parents the news later" he said "And I'm going to show you how wonderful you are and how far you will go in Red Fountain".
