I walked into the hospital with Aiden's Varsity jacket on. The smell helped me a lot. It comforted me to a point where the numb feeling would stay.

"What room is Aiden Dennison in?" I asked the lady behind the counter. If I could feel, I'm sure I would feel surprised at the monotone voice I had just said all those words. She looked back up at me and I watched her mouth move but I couldn't hear the words.

"I'm sorry could you repeat that?" I asked. I didn't feel my face scrunch, I still heard the monotone voice.

"Room 208." She repeated. I nodded remembering how to move my feet it took me awhile but I made it to the elevator. It took me a good half hour to get here. I had to call a taxi. I needed to go to his place and tell his parents, but they weren't home. When I had turned to leave I saw his jacket hanging on the coat rack. I grabbed it took in the scent and walked back out to the taxi to get here. The drive felt excruciatingly slow, and maybe it was. I didn't notice that the elevator door had opened until the nurse next to me asked if this was my floor.

"What?" I looked at the number.

"Oh, thank you." I said. The monotone voice still there. It wasn't my voice. It was almost like mine had left and I had to borrow someone else's.

I stood out in front of the door to room 208. I couldn't move any further than this. I was too afraid too see if he was dead. I knew he wasn't because of the lack of doctors near his room. Would he even want to see me? Would he really want to see the person that caused his fatal accident?

"He ok?" I heard a guy ask behind me. When I went to look at him I noticed that I didn't recognize him. He was black, brown eyes. No hair. He was wearing a polo shirt, and regular blue jeans.

"I don't know."

"Why don't you go and check on him?" he asked me. I thought I was giving him a look that at least resembled a glare, but I guess not because he seemed unaffected.

"He wouldn't want to see me."

"Why not?" I thought I would be getting angry but I wasn't I was only staying at the same numb emotion. I have to say, it wasn't that bad.

"Wouldn't it be weird? To wake up to see the girl that caused you to walk away into the street? To see the girl that caused all of this?" I asked him. There was no rise in my voice. No cracks as if I were about to cry.

"No one caused this," He told me in his calm voice.

"Things just happen. It wasn't like you pushed him in front of the car." I would have scoffed at him but I didn't. I even tried to but nothing came.

"I might have well as." He sighed and I turned back to the door.

"Look," He said pulling on my arm to sit.

"Things happen, we may not like how they happen, we may not even like the reasons why they do." His eyes began to grow intense.

"But what we all need to realize is that they do happen for a reason. Not just the bad things but the good things too. Life is far too precious to waste away wondering what you could have done to stop or prevent or maybe even change the bad things. What everyone should concentrate on is the outcome of what happened. Now what if you o in there. If he gets angry he gets angry, but he'll get over it. The other out come is that he might feel happy. He'll most likely see that you do love him." I took a moment to take what he had said in. It made enough sense. But fear still held me back. I looked back up at him and he was smiling.

"Thank you." I whispered. I still didn't know if I was going to go in or not.

"You think about that. I have to go check on my brother." He said walking away.

"Wait, what's your name?" I thought I had yelled but I still couldn't tell.

"Clay." he answered before walking away. I only nodded and looked back at the door asking myself the same question, did he really want to see me?

My body was still refusing to cooperate with me. I didn't want to go in but my arms reached out, hands grabbed the door knob. I was so numb I couldn't even tell if the metal know was cold or not. I took in a sharp breath. He still looked so handsome. Although I couldn't see his eyes I knew that they were glowing green. His face just as hard as ever. I bent over to kiss his forehead, then gently took his hand and kissed the back of it. I watched the monitor that displayed his heart beat. Watched the rhythmic green lines, beating like they should. Maybe this would turn out the way I needed it to. I looked behind me and pulled a hair closer to his bed, rested my chin on the comforter, and continued to hold his hand, kissing it every now and then.

I felt my eyes drooping, I didn't want to sleep but like before my body was against me, so within a few minutes I fell into a dreamless sleep.