PART TWO
When Alex Eames confirmed what her father already knew and announced she was headed to the NYPD Academy, he was surprisingly calm. "You're more than tough enough…and smart enough, Lexie," he said admiringly. "But I don't know if you'll be able to control that temper of yours." It took several incidents where she rammed her head against the blue brick walls of the NYPD, but Alex learned to reign in that temper and channel it into a cold, efficient anger. Her family, her friends, Joe, her partners—especially Bobby Goren—learned to watch out for the moments when her usually warm green eyes became the color of a stormy sea and she became very quiet. As she drove away from One Police Plaza, Alex's eyes were as stormy as they ever had been. It wasn't just anger that raged inside her. Fear and grief joined that, and the three emotions swept through her from the moment she found herself staring at Bobby's gun. At first, she couldn't comprehend that her partner, her friend—and even with all of her conflicting feelings towards Bobby, Alex still thought of him as both her partner and friend—could be standing in front of her pointing a gun at her. Although Bobby quickly dropped the gun and fell to the floor, the few seconds they stood staring at each other were the longest of Alex's life. She didn't dare get near Bobby as he and Stoat and the drug dealer were brought in. She was grateful at first that Ross swept her up and took her with him as they drove to Major Case, but she was puzzled by his silence and became increasingly baffled as Ross walked with her to the holding cells.
She squealed to a stop at a red light. "How could he?" she thought. "After all I did for him…after annoying Ross every day…after getting cops to write testimonials for him…after contacting the union…I put myself on the line for him…I dragged him out of his apartment…I made sure he want to his sessions…I took him to dinners…lunches…breakfasts…Found him work as a security guard…Free lancer…"
The sound of a horn alerted her to the fact the light was now green. She hit the gas pedal a bit more enthusiastically than she should have, and her car lurched forward. "I put up with his silences…I put myself and my career on hold for him…I've lied for him…I've given up any chance for advancement…" She took a deep breath. "He never asked me to do any of those things…He always warned me…He always tried to protect me…He always tried to get me to get on task forces…He wouldn't have let me help him with the Tates thing if I hadn't found out about it…You know the rules about undercover work…And what Ross told you…That Bobby had to stay quiet…Word from the Chief…That jerk…" Alex shook her head. "I certainly don't want to be part of the Brass…If I ever did, the Chief of D's is a good argument against them…But…but…Bobby…He nearly gets himself killed…killed by me…And he has the gall to act hurt when I call him on it. I'm…I'm confused…I need to talk to someone…Bobby…Damnit…This is the sort of thing I used to talk to Bobby about, and I can't…." She stared down the road. "But there is someone…."
Roughly an hour later, Alex stopped her car in the parking lot of a steak house in the wilds of Connecticut. She blinked at the dim light as she entered the dark, heavily wooded interior. She found the bar, and, in the corner, nursing a bourbon, the man she sought.
"Hello, Alex," James Deakins said as he stood. "Please…sit down. I've got a strawberry margarita coming for you."
"Thank you…" For a moment, Alex had no idea of how to address her former captain.
"Jimmy," Deakins said calmly. "I'm not your Captain any more, and I'd feel ancient if you called me Mr. Deakins."
"Jimmy," Alex said. "Thank you…thank you for doing so…on such…"
"It's all right," Deakins said. "Tonight is Angie's night out with her sisters. Out youngest has an internship this summer and isn't at home. The middle one…the "wild child"…" Deakins smiled. "She's volunteering at a summer camp for inner city kids. And the oldest is having dinner with her fiancée. I'm a bachelor tonight."
The waitress sat Alex's drink in front of her. Alex took a long drink and briefly closed her eyes against the headache that had lurked in her head most of the day.
"I understand that congratulations…and condolences…are in order," Deakins said carefully. "Goren's back on the job."
Alex opened her eyes and stared into her drink. "Yea…"
"Tell me about it…"
Alex hadn't intended or expected to reveal everything to Deakins. She'd called him in hopes of finding a sympathetic ear for her frustrations with Bobby and the department. But, whether fueled by the large quantity of rum in her drink, her exhaustion, her anger, or her fear, everything poured out. Her anger at the department, at the Chief, at Ross, and at Bobby; every slight, every cruel, passing comment directed at either her or Bobby, every action by anyone; and, the most devastating moment for her, the instant when she nearly killed her partner and friend. She didn't cry, she didn't yell, but everything flooded out of her. When, after nearly a half an hour, the deluge finally ended, Alex stared numbly into her empty glass.
"I…I'm sorry," she whispered. "I…I'm not sure where all that came from…"
Deakins sat quietly and stoically through Alex's declarations. "Look, Alex…I'm not the profiler Bobby is…I'm not the detective you are…but I think what's going on here…You're angry…You have every right to be angry…The Department…which is like your family…Much more than for me or Bobby…It looks like it turned on you…And part of it did…It certainly turned on Bobby…"
"You…" Alex looked up at him. "You would've found a way to protect Donny…Bobby would've never had to…"
"Maybe…maybe not," Deakins said. "Ross is a good man…But he hasn't had the same experiences I did…He's walking a dangerous political tightrope…But I believe he's one of the good guys…The fact he kept you in Major Case and fought for Bobby says that."
Alex stirred the remains of her margarita. "Yea…"
"I think…your anger at Bobby…You can get angry at him…You can't get angry at the Chief…or the Department….But Bobby…And you have the right to be angry with him Maybe he should've found some way to contact you. But he probably felt this was the only way to get his badge back." Deakins leaned forward. "But it's not all about his badge, Alex. You know I managed to get his some work from the company I'm with?"
She nodded.
"I offered him a job," Deakins said. "I know other departments offered him positions. Even with the suspension he was wanted by a lot of people. But he turned them down. Now, I'm sure part of it was pride…Part of it was that Major Case is perfect for him in many ways…But a lot of it…most of it…was you. He wants to work with you."
Alex looked at Deakins. "Me? But…"
"He always valued you…From the moment he sensed you were going to stay," Deakins said firmly. "It's why I held on to that damn letter and didn't send it up. A day before he told me that you were the first partner to really listen to him. He was always asking me if he was hurting you. He was always telling me how important you were to him. He may not have said it to you, but he always gave you credit. You're not just his assistant, Alex. You never were."
"Why…why are you…" Alex struggled to control her shifting emotions.
"Because I don't want to see the bad guys win," Deakins replied. "Because I put you two together and I feel responsible. Because the two of you are special…You're extraordinary as individual cops. As a team…" He shook his head. "I've never seen anything like it. And I want you to win."
"I think," Alex said shakily after several moments. "I need to talk to Bobby."
"Just remember, Alex," Deakins said. "You don't owe him an apology. He does need to be more open with you. But also remember…He's been through a lot in the past couple of years…It's not an excuse…but it's an explanation."
Alex stood. "Thank…thank you…Jimmy…Thank you."
"You're welcome," Deakins answered. "And remember…you can always work for me again."
Alex smiled weakly. "I…We…may just do that…"
"Ok, Goren," Deakins thought as he watched Alex walk away. "Don't blow it…"
END PART TWO
Ok, so a lot of assumptions, including that Alex and Bobby have stayed in touch with Deakins, and that they maintained some contact during his suspension. And chapter hijacked by Logan and Deakins. But I've always found it best to let characters do as they wished.
And thanks for the kind reviews and great interest in this.
Patcat
