History class. Again. Kim was actually very proud of herself for going the whole morning without once scanning the halls for a sighting of Jared. Her mind, for once, had been preoccupied. She didn't mind walking the halls alone, she filled the time reliving her moments in the woods with the wolf, recapturing that feeling.

But now she sat in history and her mind and body now waited in anticipation for him to walk through the door. As usual, her head bent low to allow her hair to create a curtain around her face while her eye muscles ached with the strain she placed on them to swivel farther in their sockets than they were ever intended to achieve. Her heart raced and her breath came in short gasps.

She didn't have to wait long, Jared stepped through the door earlier than any other time that year, and his eyes immediately landed on her. His face softened, his smile gentle, and he took a deep breath- as though it was his first one that morning. He didn't scan the classroom, as per routine, but headed straight for the empty chair to Kim's right.

Several people called out to him, and he waved or nodded to acknowledge them, but didn't stop to talk. Kim dropped her eyes as he slid into the seat, and heard his backpack hit the top of the desk. She listened to the sound of zippers being pulled and the rustle of stiff fabric and finally, the thunk of a book hitting a hard surface.

After a moment, she felt the ends of her hair ruffle slightly and a folded paper appeared on her desk. Confused, her eyes shot upward for a second to meet Jared's. He smiled warmly and nodded once.

Unfolding the paper, she read one simple line. "Good morning Kim!" in an almost unreadable scrawl preceded a little smiley face.

Could he get any more bizarre or random? A warmth rushed over her, and to her mortification, she could feel the blush in her cheeks. Just great.

She scrawled back "Good morning Jared," proud of herself for responding intelligently. She could pass notes with the best of them, even if she was a little rusty. You didn't have to use your voice, and that made all the difference.

She reached out to place the paper on his desk, just as he had done, but his massive hands intercepted and enveloped hers, peeling the folded rectangle away. His fingers lightly trailed across her palm as he slowly dragged away the note, and she nearly passed out with the sensations shooting up her arm and into her chest.

My Jared.

Her breathing reduced to short gasps and when Mr. Stone chose that moment to call the class to order, she sunk into herself again. Opening up her textbook, she spent the entire hour pretending to read the material as she scolded herself for stalkerish tendencies while covertly keeping the hand he'd caressed against her stomach.

When the bell rang, she made her daily rush to the cafeteria, but within minutes of situating herself at her normal table, Jared plopped into the seat across from her as though it would be the most natural thing in the world. She stared at him with incredulity as he pulled two slices of pepperoni pizza from his tray and placed them on hers. He took a bite of one of the many slices he'd kept for himself and smiled.

"I am starving," he said.

"I can see that," she said, cringing inwardly. How rude. She didn't mean to sound rude, it just came out that way.

But Jared merely laughed and took another bite. His nearness created havoc on her insides, and the thought of eating was daunting. But for something to do, she picked up one of slices and nibbled at the edge. Holding the pizza kept her hands busy, and with her mouth full, he wouldn't expect her talk too much.

Why was he here? She wanted to ask, but didn't want to be rude again and chase him off. The whole scenario reminded her of one of those teen movies where the popular guy makes a bet with his friends about the unlikely girl, and ends up breaking her heart. And she had to admit that the suspicion had crossed her mind.

But ever since Jared had gotten back from his illness he'd been… different. He'd pretended to be his usual carefree self, but his eyes were guarded now. He didn't flirt with the girls like he used to and in fact, he hadn't spent much time with any of his pack of friends, including his best friend Paul.

Kim turned her head to Jared's regular table and saw his friends eating and joking and having fun. Paul looked up at that moment and the look of frustration and anger he shot toward Jared startled her. They must be having a fight.

Which still didn't explain why he was sitting at her table; he could have chosen any seat in the cafeteria. But she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He was close. He sat no farther than a few feet away from her, and she basked in the energizing force. Taking a deep, fortify breath, she nibbled again at the pizza.

Meanwhile, Jared had eaten halfway through his mountain of food in companionable silence, seemingly undisturbed by her lack of witty conversation. Whenever she braved raising her eyes from her tray, he smiled at her with a look in his eyes she couldn't identify, but which made her heart melt.

Who needed drugs? Just get your daily Jared fix, and you'd be on a high for life.

"Speaking of ducks," Jared said suddenly, and Kim couldn't keep the half smile from lifting one of the corners of her mouth at his randomness and the smooth way he pretended that they hadn't been silent for the last five minutes. "You'll never believe what happened in fifth period yesterday."

She couldn't help herself, he looked so enthusiastic. She had to find out the connection between ducks and his biology class. "What happened?" she asked.

Jared instantly launched into an intricate, detailed, and completely unbelievable story about an experiment gone wrong in which half the class was turned green, a sink was set on fire, a frog came back to life and attacked a kid with a red shirt.

He wove his story for the rest of lunch, through the bell and all the way to Kim's next class. Somehow, she became so lost in his absurd tale that she managed to forget that she was surrounded by people, and her unrestrained laughter flowed from her. She didn't even realize he'd led her down the hall and it was with no small measure of shock that she looked up to see the door of her literature class.

"Wait!" she interrupted Jared's story. "What does that have to do with ducks?" she asked, fighting her smile.

He stopped for a second, as though she was the random one and he was trying to figure out what she was referring to. It only took him a moment to make the connection and he smiled.

"Did you know that ducks have serrated bills?"

"Um… no. I didn't know that."

"Neither did I."

Okay then.

He winked at her before walking away, ensuring all her insides turned into a puddle mass of goo. She didn't even mind when half the kids in class stared at her, walking to her desk like a zombie with a goofy smile on her face. Ramona, who had sat in front of her all year long, did a double-take before she sat down, and then smiled and nodded a friendly greeting.

The rest of the day passed in a hazy blur, and the goofy smile seemed to be permanently glued to her face. And the strangest thing happened; people smiled and nodded at her, or said "hello" when they passed by. In fact, almost everyone seemed friendlier. A few girls though, the ones who had made the biggest plays for Jared, glared at her. She chose to ignore them, and savor the buzz.

When she climbed off the bus in the afternoon, Kim raced home and changed as quickly as possible before setting off in her daily run, energized and desperate to move. A quarter of a mile into her routine, after civilization had disappeared beyond the edge of the forest, just after she rounded a bend, Big Guy sat like a sentinel in the middle of her path.

"Big Guy, you came back!" she yelled as she charged into him and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He pushed the side of his head into hers affectionately, and lightly licked her cheek.

She scratched behind a massive brown ear for a second, and then gestured for him to follow her as she continued her jog. He ran ahead, then came back, circled her a few times and then raced ahead again, making her laugh.

"Show off!" she yelled and the beast only threw its head back slightly and yipped before continuing his antics.

Three miles later, she slowed and then stopped to sit on a wide flat boulder on the side of the path. The wolf chose to sit beside her, and wrapped his tail around her back to rest over her lap. Idly, she picked it up and started flipping it back and forth, combing the hair with her fingers.

"You remind me of my friend Amanda," she said. He turned his head to look at her questioningly. "She was my best friend back home, before we moved here. I could talk to her like I talk to you. We used to do everything together."

She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts and feelings. "I miss her. I remember one time…"

The words seemed to flow from her involuntarily. She told the animal about their sleepovers and their phone conversations, about their crushes, and their early childhood games of pirate. She told him about how they'd buy a half gallon of ice cream and sit and eat it together while they plotted their next adventures. She even told him about their squabbles, and how once in the seventh grade they didn't talk to each other for an entire week before they realized the whole misunderstanding had been deliberately started by a boy in their class.

They got even by announcing to everyone that he still slept with a teddy bear.

Time rolled by without her noticing the passage, telling the wolf her life story. Cocooned in warmth by the heat radiating off him, the cool air didn't bother her. Not until she could barely see her own hands anymore in the fading light did she jump up, startled.

"You let me talk forever!" she accused, racing down the path. "Dad's gonna kill me!"

Her friend ran beside her all the way to the edge of the woods, and she stopped only long enough to scratch his neck and kiss between his eyes. "Thank you!" she told him before leaving him alone in the trees, trying to come up with a valid excuse to give her parents.

Somehow, she didn't think "I lost track of time while I bore my soul to a massive wolf" would cut it.

xxxxxxx

Walking the hallways in school the next morning left Kim feeling… jumpy. People were smiling at her and waving. She tried to smile and nod, but the emotional high carrying her through yesterday had long since dissipated, and the overwhelming butterflies in her stomach left her slightly nauseous.

And then Ramona appeared suddenly behind her while Kim shuffled through the contents of her locker, startling her so badly that she nearly hit the poor girl. "I'm sorry," she mumbled as she bent down to pick up the textbook she dropped.

"No problem," Ramona assured with a smile, helping her. "I just wanted to invite you to the bonfire tomorrow night. I wasn't sure if you'd heard or not."

She'd heard. The news had gone in one ear and out the other. "Oh, yeah. Thank you but—"

"Cool! See you in lit!"

And the girl disappeared down the hall.

Flabbergasted, Kim just stood there for a moment, her mouth hanging open slightly while she tried to think. There was no way she could go to the bonfire. The only reason people were being nice to her now was because Jared had spent a couple of days eating lunch with her on a whim. When he and Paul made up from whatever fight they were having, which was going to be soon because they never could keep up a fight longer than two days, she would go back to oblivion, and everyone would forget her existence again.

A weird magnetic force pulled at her from behind, so she didn't jump in surprise when she heard Jared's "Good morning Kim!"

Her forced smile became easy at that moment and she managed a breathy "Hey".

He grabbed her books from her hands and headed in the direction of her first class, leaving her with the choice to follow, or to stand there and gape. To her relief, her legs followed orders and kept her upright and moving with him.

"Speaking of ducks," Jared said after a second, and she couldn't help it, a belly laugh erupted from her. He smiled down at her with a twinkle in his eye. "Did I ever tell you about the time I fell off the roof and broke my nose?"

"Um, no," she told him with bemusement.

"I was six years old. Paul and I were playing Superman, and I tried to fly off the awning of the porch."

She shook her head, chuckling and wondering what brought on this confession.

"My face hit a rock in the grass. There was blood everywhere, it was great." She rolled her eyes, but he continued with his story. "Paul ran to get my mom, and she had to rush me to the emergency room."

"How many bones have you broken?" Kim asked, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't talk around Jared.

"Six," he said proudly.

"Are they as good a story as this?" she asked.

"Better," he promised as the bell rang. With his wide smile, he handed her back her books and looked pointedly at her door.

Getting the hint, she shook her head and left him in the hallway, ruminating over how completely random he could be. Maybe he just needed someone to tell stories to. Hadn't she talked off the ears of Big Guy yesterday, telling him all her silly antics?

She didn't see Jared again until history class, and when he walked in the door he gave one of his heart-melting smiles as he headed straight for his new desk. Plopping down, he turned to her and leaned close.

"My big toe," he said in all seriousness.

"You stubbed it?" she asked. Where did this nerve suddenly come from? But it was fun.

"Well… yeah," he admitted, and grinned when she giggled. "But it's where I stubbed it," he said quietly, glancing left and right as though sharing a deep secret.

"Where."

"On a tombstone." She raised an eyebrow, intrigued and he seemed pleased he had her attention. "At midnight." He paused dramatically. "On Halloween."

"All right everybody, turn to page forty nine," Mr. Stone interrupted their conversation to start class.

But when the bell rang at the end, Jared picked up the story, as though there hadn't been any interruption. He kept her laughing all the way through the lunch line and to the table. A warm, insular bubble surrounded them and she reveled in the attention, knowing it wouldn't last long and determined to enjoy while it lasted. He didn't expect anything from her; all she had to do was listen, and he did all the rest.

It was a little disconcerting, though. Every time she interrupted his monologue to ask the occasional clarifying question, everything about him stopped and centered on her. Any small comment or inane observation from her and he refocused all his energy for a brief second, letting her know he paid attention to every detail of what she said or did.

But when his eyes flicked over her shoulder and hardened for the briefest of moments before softening again while he continued his current story, her fantasy world shattered, dumping her back in reality once again. She turned to see what had caused him his moment of grief and saw Paul sitting at their regular table, scowling into his food as their group of friends laughed and joked around him.

Her heart plummeted, and she felt really bad for both of them. "Why don't you go talk to him?" she asked, turning back around to Jared as she interrupted the description of what happens when you try to paint your walls using a ceiling fan.

"It won't help," he said quietly, casting his eyes downward to his food.

"Sure it will," she encouraged. "You guys have been best friends forever. Whatever happened, I'm sure if you just talk about it—"

"I can't," he said, and then shot her a look that broke her heart even more. Jared had a lot of sadness that he hid behind his carefree façade, and he was letting her see it. "I wasn't sick with Mono Kim, it was something else."

That confused her; how the heck were the two related? Her reaction must have shown on her face because he sighed and tossed his fork down in frustration.

"I've been going through something lately. I've been… changing."

"Yeah," she said. "I know." He looked surprised and she shrugged in embarrassment. She couldn't meet his eyes when she admitted "You've gotten guarded. It's like there's this invisible wall between you and everyone else." Except me. But she didn't add that part. It would sound smug.

"You see a lot more than you let on, don't you."

Only when it's you.

She shrugged again.

"I can't tell Paul what is happening with me yet. And he can't accept that."

"He might not resent it so much if you spent more time with him like you used to," she said. "They've saved your chair over there."

Jared shook his head "no". "I won't."

Taking in a deep breath, she put her own desire to have him all to herself away and made the ultimate sacrifice. "Why not? If you just—"

"How would you feel about eating over there with that group?" he asked, interrupting her.

Her stomach lodged in her throat and she felt all the blood drain away from her face. The thought of going over there to a crowded table, to that table with the most energetic kids in school absolutely terrified her.

"Exactly," Jared said, as if his point had been made. Which it hadn't because he was one of those kids. But then he managed to shock her all over again when he continued. "I'm not going to put you through that."

Wait.

What?

He was blaming her for this? He invited himself to her table! He was using her to avoid his friend in this little feud they were having! For the very first time in three and half years of having a crush on this boy, a sharp spike of anger at him flashed through her.

"I have nothing to do with this," she said, proud of her control.

"Not with Paul and I, no," he agreed. "But I want to spend time with you, and I figured cornering you at lunch is the only time you'd let me. And sitting over there," he gestured to the table in question, "where Ethan burps the alphabet and Christine can't shut up about the latest Vogue magazine, isn't exactly within your comfort zone."

Wow. He was choosing her over his lifelong best friend. She shouldn't ask, but… why? What had happened during those two weeks to make him change so drastically?

"I think you should eat with them tomorrow."

"Today is Friday," he pointed out, and she rolled her eyes to show her irritation.

"Monday then," she said in a "don't be annoying" tone of voice. "Better yet, go to the bonfire tomorrow and hang with them for a while. Let them see you aren't all that much different."

"But I am different, Kim. You know that." She scrunched her mouth in frustration and he continued. "You are the only one in this whole school who has seen all of me, as I am now, and accepted me completely. Do you know how liberating that is?"

"Oh, I don't know," she argued, "Just about every girl in school appreciates the new you."

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "That's just the shell," he said. "If they knew what was on the inside, they'd run screaming." He lowered his head to give his food more concentration than it needed.

What on earth was he talking about? "There's nothing scary about you," she told him in confusion. "It's not like you're the Big Bad Wolf."

His head shot up and he eyed her warily for a second. But then a slow smile emerged, a smile with a secret behind it. He reached across the table and grabbed her left hand, folding it into his own. The temperature of his hand would have concerned her, but every coherent thought disappeared when she looked at him. The… adoration… on his face left her breathless. She had to be mistaken. She had to have misinterpreted his expression.

"Everything will work out," he assured her. "We just have to wait."

What would work out? What did they have to wait for? She cast around her jumbled thoughts as electricity raced through her veins. Oh yeah. Paul. The best friend, who probably resented her now. Possibly hated her. Jared was assuring her that Paul would come around.

He squeezed her hand and she quit caring for the moment. If he sat with her again on Monday, she'd insist he make amends then. She'd put her backpack on the chair across from her and say the seat was taken. Or, better yet, she'd go to the library and hide again. But for now, the boy she'd crushed on for years held her hand and smiled at her and told her she was the only one who understood him.

The earth could open up and swallow the entire school whole for all she cared at the moment; she'd died and gone to heaven.