This was originally written as a one shot but then I was trying to complete a chapter for my Dom / Neal fic I found I couldn't get this one out of my head so I extended it…
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
It was Roald's birthday today. Thayet and I were so happy, secure in our own little bubble. At least I was until Cynthia of Naxen came up to offer her congratulations. While she smiled and made the expected polite comments I could see she was a million miles away, and when I saw the look in her eyes I realised she was much further then that. She was 5 years away and thinking of a person, who up until that moment I had forgotten, pushed to the furthest depths of my memory. Possibly the one person whom I should never have forgotten, who I should give thanks for everyday. But you see I found it hurt too much to remember, but now lying on my bed the memories are flooding back…
I first met her at a presentation ball. She was an older débuts as she had spent several years learning the ways of the Maranite court after leaving the convent. Dressed in a stunning gown of simple white embroidered with pearls and semi transparent sleeves it was not, as hard as this is to believe her physical appearance which drew me to her but her laugh. It tinkled like a thousand peeling bells across the dance floor. I asked her to dance, and she slotted into my arms just the way that Alanna used to. Strange that this did not comfort me, if anything it scared me. I'd been hurt before, broken-hearted even. I made up my mind there and then that I was not going to become involved with the charming Lady Eve.
This should have been an easy task, I was courting Princess Josaline of the Copper Isles, a beautiful creature. Somehow it wasn't enough though, never enough. I would find myself asking her to dinner, simply to hear her voice, to listen to her opinions, and she was never afraid to voice them. In many respects she was similar to the Lioness. Our relationship was strengthened when my parents died, while everyone else begged me to pull it together, forcing me to put up a façade she said nothing. Would come and just hold me, let me cry and not judge me for it. I can never express my gratitude for that, she and a few others kept me sane.
It was not an entirely one sided relationship in which she had to do all the work. I taught her how to fire a bow, at first perhaps because I wanted to encourage the resemblance to Alanna, (I was missing my ex-squire terribly) but after a while it was because I enjoyed her company. I think she too wanted / needed my companionship, her best friend was in love with Gary and hence pre occupied. We were what you could call two lonely souls, if that doesn't sound too much of a cliché.
Then it all unravelled rather suddenly. Alanna came home and brought with her Thayet, Princess of Sarin. Captivated doesn't even begin to describe my feelings towards her. I was thrown completely off balance; none of my charm seemed to be working. So I turned to my friend, Eve. I asked for her advice on what I should do / say, left her poems to read before I gave them to Thayet. You name it I got her to check it.
I was not blind, I noticed that she was slightly down, but at first put it down to monthly blues. It was only when I entered her chambers one night a couple of days before the coronation without properly announcing myself and found her curled up in a ball on her bed, that I knew something was wrong. You see sleeping in itself is not strange, but her face which used to be so peaceful while in the land of slumber had pain / sorrow written all over it and when I extended a finger to touch her cheek found to my horror that it was damp. One thing I knew for certain, Eve never cried. I gathered her in my arms and whispered in her ear, I'd do any thing to make it better…
I was rewarded for my efforts by her eyes fluttering open. What happened next was not what I had been expecting, she seemed to fight an inner battle with herself and suddenly her lips were against mine. She tasted of strawberries, and tears. We were pressed so close together that I could feel her heart pounding. Then I made what was possibly the worst decision of my life, I pulled away and casting a look of horror in her direction: (she knew what my feelings for Thayet were) I stormed out of the room. I may have been behaving like a complete prick but I didn't miss her look of despair or the way sobs seemed to tear through her body.
I should have stopped then, gone back to her and explained. The truth was powerful feelings had erupted in me for her, I had wanted to hold her so tight and kiss her back with all of my might. I knew I couldn't though, there was Thayet to consider, and that was why I'd pulled away. Not going back is something I'll always regret. You see those mutterings in her ear when she was half asleep are the last words I ever got to say to Eve while she was alive.
Thanks to the bards everyone knows the tale of my coronation, how the rebels waited until after the crown had been placed on m head etc… It is so strange but I only really remember two bits clearly: seeing Eve float through the doors and into the great hall, at that moment she could have rivalled even Thayet in her beauty. I wanted to talk to her then, just to hear her voice, to hear her tell me I was forgiven that she still loved me, because it had suddenly become clear to me what I had done to her, what I had put her through. But that was a dream that was destined never to come true, she never even looked in my direction, not once.
The second memory sticks out even sharper and still causes pain. I had just laid the Dragon to rest and was looking for other casualties when I saw her. Well when I spotted Cynthia holding what appeared to be a figure in red, my first thought was Gary, but as I got closer I saw the blonde hair. My heart seemed to stick in my throat; it was all my nightmares coming true at once. I'd thought she'd left with the other women, yet here she was in the very spot I'd been standing with an arrow protruding from her chest.
It's even in that state she managed to look stunning. Her dress was stained scarlet all across the front and her face was ashen, but her eyelashes curled prettily against her cheek. If it hadn't been for the blood she could just have been sleeping. I vaguely remember dropping to my knees and grabbing her, begging her to wake up, not to leave me. I do remember asking Cynthia why she had done it, why she had given up her life for me. She didn't answer either but her eyes scared me, they were filed with pain and tears but there was anger there to, anger directed at me, at what I'd put Eve through.
Numbness, that's all I felt at her funeral. I couldn't describe to you what the weather was like or how many people turned up to pay their respects. I just recall seeing her body one last time before the casket was closed. Now all that remains is a stone model, so lifelike it has the power to bring pain crashing back; hence I've only ever visited once before.
The Lady Evelyn's bravery isn't mentioned in any heroic ballads, that's my fault again. I couldn't stand to hear her name so minstrels ignored her role. The rest as they say is history, I married Thayet, and I love her, we have two small children and I have what from the outsiders view appears the perfect life.
Today though I visited the grave for the first time since she was buried almost 6 years ago, and an overwhelming sense of guilt almost over powered me. I'd not only treated her badly when she was alive but then I'd tried to forget her name.
It was time for a change; I think Roalds' bedtime tale tonight is going to be about a woman who was as brave as a knight and as pretty as a princess…
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Well what do you think, should I have left it as it was? I'm half toying with the idea of adding a third chapter from Evelyn's point of view but I'm not sure if that would be over kill or not. Please review and let me know what you all think…
Eruanna Eire
xox
