Boom boom

Boom boom

Why did his heart rate increase around Mordecai anyway? It was so weird. Benson felt the sudden need to inhale sharply and stepped off the final step and their walk began. Benson followed one of the paths that led through a small wooded area. Why was the park so friggen huge. That's always what Benson wondered. But now, it just didn't seem big enough. As soon as their walk had begun, Benson didn't want it to ever end. Benson's mouth had run dry and he could barely speak. Oh well, the park didn't need anymore noise.

Mordecai had noticed Benson's uneasy silence. "Are you alright Benson?" This question caught Benson off guard and he jumped in surprise. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." "Thats alright...I guess I was just thinking of things..." "Like?" "Umm...uh." Benson stammered, "Uh, I don't even know anymore..." "Oh. Well, you can tell me anything Benson. If you change your mind, I'm right here." "I'll keep that in mind."

Benson sighed. He was going to tell Mordecai, if only he weren't so shy. There were so many what 'if's going through his head it was giving him a headache. It was impossible to think of anything but how Mordecai might react to Benson's confession. It was maddening. Benson was so frustrated he would pull out all his hair, if he had any. Benson's insides felt like they were being constricted and his heart thudded faster and faster. Everytime Benson opened his mouth to speak, nothing would come out. It was beyond impossible to speak. 'Goddammit' Benson thought frustrated that he could barely say 'a' without squeaking.

"M-Mordecai...gah, ugh...I need a drink of water, can we go find a water fountain?" "Sure, right over there." Mordecai smiled and pointed to the fountain. Benson flushed and wondered why he hadn't seen it. Oh well, Benson rushed to the fountain, taking mouthfuls of water. Benson's throat had begun to hurt, but he kept drinking. Mordecai watched Benson practically drown himself in water. Mordecai hoped he would slow down so he wouldn't choke. But unfortunately, Benson just kept drinking the same way.

Mordecai was about to say something, but Benson suddenly stopped drinking and gasped in air like a fish out of water. Benson stood gasping for a minute or so before finally regaining his posture. "Guess you really did need a drink." "Ugh...guess so," Benson coughed and heaved a little longer. Finally they continued their walk. Benson felt his face heat up and his mouth went dry once again. 'But I just got a huge friggen drink!' Benson thought angrily. He had to let it out, otherwise he'd have to drown himself in water.

Mordecai tripped and nearly fell, but Benson caught him. Benson didn't even realize he caught Mordecai mid-fall. Benson knew his face was flushed and didn't want Mordecai to see, but he didn't want Mordecai to fall. Benson's insides were slowly caving in, squeezing and constricting, begging for the secret to be freed. Waiting for the secret to come out and relieve his extra stress. Benson remained silent.

Mordecai was pulled to his feet. He brushed himself off, blushing, and gave Benson a short quick thank you. But Benson had seen Mordecai's face. Red. Benson thought it must have been a blush, but he couldn't just assume. He didn't truly know. He wanted desperately to know. Benson was so frustrated, this was truly one of the times he felt like he was so angry he would-, would-...truth was, he didn't know what to do. Benson felt like ripping out his own voice box. It refused to work around Mordecai anyway. Benson had to always force himself to speak because he was always so choked up around him.

'Damn, this is harder than I thought. Fuck, fuck, fuck...goddammit say it Benson, fucking SAY SOMETHING!' Benson gulped nervously still baffled by the fact that his throat was bone dry and it felt like he already drank an ocean. Benson cursed and swore in his head, scolding and contradicting, trying to get himself to actually SAY it. Benson was brave, he had some balls. Hell, he was full of them! But when it came to bravery with confessions, it was liked he dropped all his balls and he was like a girl with a major crush. Shy. Speaking of balls, Benson double checked to see if he still had them, for fearing he had dropped them. Now THAT would have been emberrassing.

Mordecai looked at Benson who was deep in thought. "Benson, are you sure you're alright?" Mordecai questioned with curiosity and worry. Benson heard Mordecai's voice and it dragged him out of the abyss of his mind. The cloud of what ifs had suddenly dissapeared. Every being of his conciousness shut down. "No," Benson said unaware he was even speaking. "No, I'm not alright. Mordecai, I have to tell you something." Benson cried out, starting to realize he was speaking. "I love you Mordecai! Please forgive me!" Benson cried as he pressed his lips up against Mordecai's.

Mordecai was shocked. All along this walk he was trying to say something about this. Mordecai's eyes were wide, this was one of the things he was soooo not expecting. It didn't matter if it was what he were expecting, he knew the truth now. Mordecai gently closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Benson to bring him closer and gently rocked the both of them back and forth. Now it was Benson's turn to be surprised. This was FAR from what he thought would happen. He thought Mordecai was going to push him away and tell him how gross that was. He thought he would say that he didn't even like him like that at all. He never thought of this being the outcome.

Benson broke the kiss for air. Both gasped lightly, looking awkwardly at each other with a small blush. Mordecai spoke, breaking the silence between them. "It's alright Benson, there's nothin to apologize for. I-...I love you too, Benson." Mordecai became flustered and looked away. Benson smiled. It felt like he was so relaxed, it seemed all the weight he imagined had lifted. Gone forever was the stress. "Really?" Benson asked just to be sure "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" "I was afraid of what you would think of me. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" "I was afraid of what YOU might think of ME."

Mordecai smiled too. "Well now we know." Mordecai chirped happily. Benson agreed, but was wondering what to do now. "M-Mordecai...can I kiss you again?" Benson asked flushing. This question caught Mordecai off guard, but nevertheless, he replied by simply saying, "Do you really have to ask Benson?" "So, is that a no?" Mordecai just laughed and playfully rolled his eyes before kissing Benson again.

Both employees stood there, hand in hand, lips to lips. But neither had noticed the figure in the bush, watching with hurt, surprised, and furious eyes. Mordecai broke this time, only because he felt rain. Benson also took notice that it was drizzling light rain. Mordecai popped up the umbrella and stood underneath. Mordecai realized there wasn't enough room for both to stand seperately underneath. Benson just walked underneath and stood close to Mordecai. They looked into each others face, looking at their eyes. For the first time, Benson could finally look at Mordecai's eyes without interruption, without feeling emberrassed.

The lovers walked off in the rain back toward the house, holding hands.