Hell of a Thing (Dean's Perspective)
A/N Just when I thought this story was finished, it hit me. Dean was equally affected by having to let John go. And worse, he was the one who told him to go… Here is Dean's perspective on Shadows.
It was a bitch, letting Dad go.
It wasn't him leaving. I'm not gonna whine and say that people are always leaving me... I'm no whiner.
In my family, when shit happens, we suck it up and move on. We're good little soldiers.
Hell, you don't know me, and I don't know you. We're just barmates, havin' some whiskey. And that's the way I'd like to keep it.
The first one who left was Mom. She was taken.
Then Sam left. It hurt like hell, but I saw it comin' a mile away. Him and dad, they were always at each other's throats, and Sam, well, Sam wanted out of the life.
So me and Dad, we were together, and Sam was on his own. And the two of them, they weren't talking. I would send Sam letters on the sly. Truth is, Dad probably knew. He didn't say nothin', though. Didn't call me on it.
So when Dad disappeared, I went and got Sam and brought him back into the life. And then Jess up and left - she was taken, just like Mom.
But like I told Sam, it wasn't just Dad's disappearance.
Some hunters hunt alone. Not me.
Without Sam, without Dad, I just can't do it.
Sam and I, we protect each other. But our focus was finding Dad. Finding him and killing the thing that was after our family. I don't know why, but it's taken a personal interest in us. First Mom, then Jess... It's killing the people close to us.
When I know my family's next to me, I have somethin' I'm fighting for.
When the time comes, when all this is over, I don't know how I'm going to let Sam go.
So we'd found Dad. We were all set to kill the bastard as a family, before it took another one of us out. Hell, Dad and Sam were talking again. They even hugged (a big shocker).
And then it hit me.
I'm much better with Sam. But Dad was much better without us.
We're too much of a distraction.
I did the only thing I could. I pushed him away. Hell, I wanted him to stay.
It was hard on Sam, real hard. Sam was beggin' him to stay.
Like I said, it was a real bitch, lettin' Dad go.
Sam's asleep in the motel room. But I couldn't sleep.
So here I am. Just me, the whiskey, and you, the stranger I don't know, listening to my story.
Hell of a thing.
