Roxanne walked along the empty road, towards the abandoned power station she knew held Megamind's secret lair. She had parked the van a few blocks away so as not to reveal the location. It was one of those glorious sunny days, the kind that made you feel as if nothing could go wrong. The brightness of the sky stood in sharp contrast to the wrecked cityscape, still freshly scarred by Titan's rampage.
She hadn't spoken with Megamind in the few days since Titan's defeat, but it felt right now. He deserved an apology; she had been angry, but in hindsight what she'd said to him that night in the rain had been much crueler than she'd had any right to be. The wounded look he'd given her just wouldn't leave her mind.
The sound of footsteps startled her out of her thoughts. Roxanne looked up to see Megamind running towards her in his Bernard disguise, a terrified look on his face. He was disheveled and limping a bit, but still obviously trying to move as fast as he could away from his lair. …The fact that his jacket was missing struck her as odd, but she couldn't put her finger on why. No matter, more important things were going on.
"What's wrong?" she stammered when he got to her, "A-are you alright?"
"No I am not okay!" he barked, showing no intention of slowing down.
"Come on, the car is back this way," she said, gently getting a hold of his arm to steer him, "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"Those brainbots tried to eat me!"
She opened the van's door and helped him into the passenger seat, then started to drive off, "The Brainbots attacked you? What set them off?"
"They tried to eat me!"
"Okay! Okay! Calm down! Come on, let's just get you somewhere safe, okay?"
The drove in silence, and by the time she got them back to her building, he seemed to have calmed down considerably. When they stepped out of the car and she started to lead him into the lobby, though, he gave her a confused look. "It's okay," she reassured, "come on." His hesitance to come back to her apartment was adorable, she had to admit; not at all like Hal, who had been stepping over boundaries since they first met.
Roxanne took him upstairs, had him sit down at her table, then fetched him a glass of water. After all, he only seemed frightened, not hurt. Which was understandable; having your own technology turn on you had to be disconcerting. "Hey, it could've been worse," she said, attempting a joke, "It could have been Titan."
"…Who?"
She blinked at him, "Titan. The super-powered nerd who just trashed half the city?"
Still nothing. He gazed at her with a blank, mildly confused look in his brown eyes. Wait, brown eyes? Her gaze flicked down to his wrist, noticing the conspicuous absence of a holowatch. Oh no.
"Oh my god, you're actually Bernard," she said, burying her face in her palm.
Bernard just looked at her like she was a complete and total moron, "Of course I'm actually me. Who else would I be?"
"It's a long story. Megamind had you dehydrated, didn't he?"
"I… I suppose that actually was Megamind." he paused for a beat, "It was still a pretty tasteless costume."
"He ended up using a holowatch to disguise himself as you for a few weeks."
Bernard raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt that."
Roxanne couldn't help but be a bit annoyed with him, "What, you doubt he'd go incognito?"
"Well, as we all know Megamind is super-intelligent," he said, rolling his eyes, "And there are much more useful persons to impersonate. For instance, the mayor or the Chief of Police."
"We're talking about Megamind here, not the Joker. …Besides, he did a heel face turn while you were, uh, 'away'."
The curator looked a bit shocked at that, maybe even a little disappointed, "What, why?"
"A super powered villain showed up and trashed the town, and Megamind rose to the occasion and stopped him. They're talking about naming him the new protector of Metroci- Metro City."
Bernard's stomach growled, and Roxanne got up to fetch him something out of the pantry. Who knows when the last time he ate was? "Anyway," she continued, "From what I heard, they're going to convert all of his life sentences to community service, which he has to serve by protecting the city. For the next couple thousand years, I guess." She found what she was looking for, and tossed him a granola bar.
Bernard looked at the offering, then back at her, "That's it?"
"Well, what do you want?" she felt the annoyance creeping back into her voice again.
"I've been a tiny dehydrated cube for months, apparently."
"Yes, well I-" the phone rang, and she shook her head. "Sorry. One moment." Bernard listened with interest to half the conversation, "Hello? …This is she. …Calling from where? ….No, I'm not interested. …I don't care, I don't want to talk to him. Let him throw his tantrum." She hung up.
He gave her a questioning look, which she answered with a cryptic "My camera man's in jail."
"Oh," he replied, not making the connection. Then again, how could he? She supposed Bernard had never met Hal. He wasn't exactly the "museum" type, and he hated Metro Man anyway.
"There's a café across the street? Would you like to go grab lunch?" That would at least get him out of her apartment.
"No wallet," he answered.
"My treat."
"Public restaurants aren't nearly as sanitary as a proper eating environment should be."
She just gave him an exasperated look. Was he stalling to stay in the apartment longer, or what? "If I make you a sandwich, will you leave?"
"Can I eat the sandwich first?"
"Yes. What do you want on it?"
"Nothing that's been processed beyond recognition or is within two weeks of its expiration date. And the bread needs to be gluten free. Other than that, I'm not picky."
Roxanne just stared at him in amazement. Was he serious?
"Well, get to it," Bernard said, looking at her askance, "You should have everything required. If you don't, then your culinary selection is sorely lacking."
"Bernard?"
"Yes?"
"Go home."
"But you said I could have a sandwich first."
"Unless you want some variation of peanut butter fluff on Wonderbread, you're out of luck. Now go."
"Understood," Bernard said with a sigh, and shuffled out. He was walking a little better now.
Roxanne shut the door behind him, shaking her head a bit. Now time to go find the real Megamind.
