CHAPTER 2
"Guess the Earth should be happy for a while…" King Kai groaned reservedly.
"Yeah, and you helped a lot, even if it wasn't your own choice. Thank you, King Kai." Goku said cheerfully in his usual nonchalant attitude, as his stomach began to growl. King Kai stared incredulously at him, the only man he had ever seen to have been hungry even in death. Saiyans really are bottomless pits, he thought to himself. "Ooh!" exclaimed said bottomless pit, letting out a hearty laugh that so endeared him to everyone, even King Kai. "Now that I've stopped worrying, I'm really hungry! Hey King Kai, you wouldn't happen to have any foo-?"
"ARE YOU CRAZY?" interjected the livid King Kai. "You destroyed my car, my house and my entire planet! How can I possibly have food?!"
"Oh yeah. But I have to eat, I'm starving to death!" whined the gluttonous Goku, clutching his torso all the while.
"But you're already dead…" pointed out King Kai.
"Well that makes it twice as bad! I guess I could eat these." Said Goku, chomping down on the fluffy yellow clouds surrounding Snake Way as King Kai could do nothing but look on incredulously.
Back on Earth, Gohan and the others had put together a plan to revive the beloved Son Goku. They had gathered the Dragon Balls and summoned Shenron. After having brought back all the innocent people killed by Cell, they wished Shenron to bring back Goku.
"I'm sorry I cannot do that, that wish is beyond my power."
"But we all really want him back!"
"However much you desire him to return is of no consequence. He has been brought back once, and it is beyond my power to bring him back once more."
The Z fighters are gutted until Dende, the young guardian of Earth, comes up with an idea.
"Hey, all we have to do is ask Porunga back on Namek!"
"Dende's right. Since Porunga is the original Dragon, he can revive someone as many times as he sees fit."
Krillin, Tenshinhan and Yamcha agree, and resolve to ask Shenron to transport them to Namek, when suddenly a voice echoes from the heavens.
"Hey, don't I get a say in this?" says the voice in a familiar tone that everyone recognized immediately. They start looking around to find the source of the voice. "Hi everyone, it's me, Goku!"
"See, I told you guys!" proclaimed his son, the savior of Earth.
"King Kai's letting me talk to you from here in the Otherworld! So listen up… lately I've been thinking about why the Earth is in danger, and I realized, most of the guys who attacked it were after me! Think about it, Frieza, Cell, the Androids…"
"It's an interesting point." Noted Tenshinhan.
"I guess, but where's he going with this?" Yamcha asked.
"Well, I think it would be better for the Earth if I didn't come back this time. King Kai agrees with me."
"Sort. Of." Pointed out the now dead deity.
"As a Saiyan baby I was sent to Earth to destroy it. And though all my life I've tried to do the opposite, it's kinda like I've been fulfilling that mission all along… So yeah. I'm gonna stay here now." Announced Goku to a shattered crowd of his family and friends. "I really don't mind! King Kai says I can get special treatment since I saved the Earth and all. I'll be able to keep my body, and from what I hear, there's lots of interesting people to meet! It'll be fun!"
"Hmpf! Another adventure." Piccolo remarked, grinning.
"King Kai could ask one of the dragons to revive him, but he's agreed to show me around here for a while and keep me company. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I really appreciate your feelings towards me, but you'll have to find something else to wish for. This is my home now." Goku perked up with a smile. "Gohan's so strong now! I have nothing left to teach him."
"But that doesn't mean I don't need you!" interrupted Gohan, not understanding why his father wouldn't wish to be back with him.
"You all better take notes of everything that happens in your lives! 'Cause when they're through, I'll wanna hear all about them. Until then, goodbye." Ended Goku, having shook his friends and family to the core.
"Y'know, even though he was saying goodbye, he didn't make me too sad because he was so cheery about it." Remarked his bald best friend incredulously, which led his doting family and friends to accept his decision in death and reminisce about his overall demeanor and personality in life. Gohan and the others went about their lives as normal, only without the lovable Saiyan, who stayed above.
A while later, we find Goku, King Kai and the rest bustling down Snake Way, Goku forcefully but playfully pushing the deity around like a wheelbarrow, against his vehement objections, in characteristic Goku fashion, until they sighted Bubbles and Gregory off in the distance of the treacherous, long and winding Snake Way.
"Woah! I forgot how long Snake Way was. Hey listen King Kai, can't you run any faster? We're not making good time here." Pointed out Goku.
"How many times can I say this? We can't make bad time here, because in this world time never runs out!" rebutted a slightly irritated and exasperated King Kai.
"But I still can't wait to see this master of Otherworld! Talk about the ultimate fighting challenge!"
King Kai sighed as he warned Goku not to talk lightly of the Grand Kai, which led to an obviously oblivious look on Goku's face. Seeing this, King Kai began to explain the hierarchy of the Kais to the dumb prodigy, beginning with the Kings of the North, East, South and West Quadrants, and then the Grand Kai who towered above them all. Each Kai's quadrant of the galaxy produced extremely strong fighters, who, once they died, would be allowed to train on Grand Kai's planet. Goku, finding the predicament irresistible, sped off into the distance down Snake Way. Just a few seconds later, the buffoon trotted back.
"Umm where am I going exactly?" he asked with a sheepish grin.
"To King Yemma's palace. There's the terminal for the Higher Plane which will take you there."
"On it!" reaffirmed the Saiyan, as he picked up Bubbles and Gregory and placed a hand on King Kai. Suddenly, they were gone. After exchanging a few pleasantries with King Yemma and shocking all his attendants with the fact that he had been allowed to keep his body, Goku was off on the Higher Plane on his way to Grand Kai's planet.
"Aww man, why'd we have to get stuck in this clunker of a plane… I really wanted to ride the big one…" moaned Goku, like a little child. King Kai chuckled to himself. Goku really was a little child.
"Wowwww this place has so many great fighters!" remarked Goku. King Kai, after droning on about the supremacy of Grand Kai, went further to drone on about his car, while Goku looked on, in an ironic role reversal, with King Kai becoming the babbling buffoon and Goku staring incredulously and contemplating his mental acuity.
"Y-you! It's you!" said a stupefied voice from behind them. They turned around to face the voice, and Goku saw an impish little man, bespectacled, dressed similar to King Kai, his mouth gaping and his finger pointing to the North Kai, and, standing alongside him, Piccolo! 'Wait, Piccolo isn't dead' thought Goku. But this man bore a striking resemblance. 'Oh, that's right, he must be a Namekian!'
"Well if it isn't West Kai!" proclaimed North Kai, rather defensively. Goku and the Namekian looked on, wide-eyed, wondering what was happening, as the two deities ran towards each other and locked on the other in a death gaze that seemed to turn the temperature around them up a few degrees. Goku's eyes met the Namekian's, and the Namekian's his. Goku noted that this strange man was not in fact a Namekian, but bore a striking resemblance to them. His lips were bigger and his irises were red, but other than that, he looked just like a Namekian. Goku also felt the huge surge of Ki this man was emitting, not hostile, but not friendly either. His Ki signature was very calm, neutral and huge. Goku felt butterflies in his stomach just thinking about the opportunity to face this man in battle.
"Well Northie, lemme introduce to my prized fighter, Pikkon of the West Quadrant!" boasted West Kai. "The Grand Kai called for him specifically, so just stay out of our way and… wait is that a halo above your head?"
North Kai was silent and flushed as West Kai had one of the longest laughs his counterpart in the North had ever seen him have. Goku, who North Kai hoped would have been ashamed by this predicament, was still locking eyes with the mysterious Pikkon.
"Shut up! I was involved with something really important, you know!" rebutted the dead Kai, clutching his halo, almost ready to die again due to the sheer and utter embarrassment of being a dead deity.
"That's right, sir" interjected the Saiyan. "King Kai saved my whole planet."
"Who might this be?" asked the West Kai snobbishly.
"My name's Goku, it's nice to meet you!" said Goku in his regular, cheerful attitude. Nothing could bring this man down, not even death.
"Goku's a great martial artist and a righteous fighter who defended his world and his galaxy many times!" proudly boasted the North Kai.
"Oh? Incredibly strong, you say? Surely he's nothing compared to my Pikkon!" rebutted the scorned West Kai.
"No" simply replied North Kai. "Goku. Is. Stronger."
His simple rebuttal had reached the desired effect. The West Kai was now livid.
"Oh? Do you have any idea what you're suggesting?"
"Yes. That Goku is stronger." Goaded the North Kai.
This simply led to a 'mine is bigger than yours' rant between two deities, something not commonly seen. Goku and Pikkon could do nothing but look on flabbergasted, though Goku was the only one showing it. The man's simplicity knew no bounds, he couldn't hide emotions to save his life.
As the two Kais were unable to reach a solution with mere words, they promptly commanded their respective fighters to join the foray, take on the heated battleground and prove their mettle so that the Kais could get over their childish feud. Suddenly, however, a voice came out of nowhere.
"Hey hey, now, hold on!"
"Grand Kai!" uttered the two Kais, as they and Pikkon bowed down in respect. Goku, the simple minded lug that he was, didn't pick up on this social cue until chastised by a terrified Kai.
"Goku, you have to bow or else he's gonna…"
But it was too late. From atop the roof of Grand Kai's lavish mansion arose a ball of light, that promptly and swiftly charged into North Kai and Son Goku, blowing them away in a ball of blaze and rubble. King Kai was flung far away, whereas Goku managed to stand his ground, but the dust that the incoming ball of light had kicked up made the four cough vehemently.
When the dust cleared, Goku couldn't believe his eyes. In front of him stood an old man, much older than Master Roshi, with flowy long white hair and a white beard, dressed in a white t-shirt, jeans and a jean jacket, wearing cheap sunglasses, with a boombox in one arm and a hand donning red gloves extending in a wave. The boombox was blasting some weird dynamic entry music, which reminded Goku of a certain World Martial Arts Champion at the Cell Games. Could this guy really be that strong? In the midst of these thoughts, King Kai dragged Goku down to his knees forcefully in a bow that pleased common etiquette of meeting a deity as high as the Grand Kai, while the Grand Kai was acting very un-deity-like, grooving along to his dynamic entry theme in front of his mansion. Goku was stupefied until the old geezer turned off his boombox and began talking.
"Sorry to walk in on you guys like this, but I need a favor. Pikkon, would ya go down to hell for me? King Yemma sent down this maniac called Cell and looks like he's teamed up with somebody called Frieza and they're wreaking all kinds of havoc down there."
Goku immediately spurred into action. These names were all too familiar to him, and Pikkon didn't know what he was getting into. Only he could take those two on.
"Right away, sir." Nodded Pikkon as he flew away in the blink of an eye.
"Wait!" yelled Goku. "You're gonna need all the help you can get!" as he flew behind him, despite North Kai's objections, but the Grand Kai was unbothered by this.
"I didn't ask for your help."
"Yeah, well I've fought both of them before and you're gonna need it."
The two fighters stepped down into hell, running into Goz and Mez. Goku reminded them of how he had once fell down Snake Way, and they raced and wrestled him, prompting them to remember him and rejoice. Goku and Pikkon asked for where Cell and Frieza were, and headed there immediately.
Cell and Frieza were having the time of their lives. Even in death, they had not renounced their evil ways and resorted to making Hell their personal playground, torturing and killing King Yemma's servants. Cell, for fun, decided to throw one into a mountain of spikes, an idea that was met with cheers and encouragement from both Frieza and his dastardly father. Just as the poor man was about to be turned into the world's largest pin cushion, a flash of light saved him.
"I-it can't be! Goku?!" muttered Frieza, wide eyed.
"Yes, it's me and I'm stopping you once more!" said the resolute Saiyan.
"Ginyu Force, attack!" yelled Frieza.
"Pikkon, catch!" said Goku, flinging the terrified servant over to him. "HYAAAAAAAAAAA!" he yelled, his hair standing on end, like that of his Super Saiyan state except they were his normal color, channeling a little Ki, enough to make short work of them anyways. What followed next, was magnificent. A punch to the gut. A knee to the gut. An elbow to the chin. Followed by an elbow to the back of the head. Delivered in fluid, rapid movements so no one even knew what hit them until Goku stood once more in stance and powered down. The entirety of the Ginyu Force came crashing down below, into a pool filled with blood. Frieza and his father could only look on, stupefied by Goku's strength, but Cell remained calm as ever.
"Don't you worry. After all, it was me who killed him in the first place!" he said, with a menacing grin.
"Well, who said we were worried?" said Frieza, a little coloud returning to his face. "After you, my friend."
Cell flew up to Goku, guns blazing, as Goku prepared himself. This fight would take almost everything he had. Goku gritted his teeth in anticipation of the force about to hit him, when out of nowhere, a blazing ball of fire rushed past him.
"What the-?"
The ball headed straight for Cell and collided with the green bug monster. Cell was blown back, he never knew what hit him. Goku could barely catch a glimpse, and he couldn't believe what he saw. Inside the ball of fire was none other than Pikkon, launching a fearsome kick that connected with Cell's chin. 'So fast' thought Goku, as Pikkon spun around and dissipated his own flames. He flew up to Cell, who was still reeling from Pikkon's massive blow, and gave him a swift right backhand which sent him flying into the same pool as the Ginyus.
"Who's that?!" yelled Frieza, his eyes meeting the hard, cold stare of Pikkon. His white robes flowing in the wind, hands balled up into fists, arms half flexed by his side, reminded the Frost Demon of that one Namekian who could keep up with him in his third form even, back on Namek. Suddenly, Pikkon vanished and reappeared in front of Frieza and his father, dealing a quick elbow to King Cold's gut and a swift lateral palm to Frieza's face before they could even register his presence in front of them. Father and son collapsed to the ground in tandem, after which Pikkon, deciding to retrieve the drowned belligerants, flew up into the air. When he was at level with the pool, he straightened his back, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and began spinning, gradually gaining the speed of a tornado, which caused the blood below to reciprocate in kind and spin along with him. The unforgiving pool launched the villains out and, ironically, straight into that mountain of spiked Cell had wished to throw King Yemma's servant into. Impaled, beaten and stripped of their pride, the only thing left was to imprison them to completely zap out whatever else they had left. Goku and Pikkon simply looked to each other, acknowledging the other's prowess and smiling.
They reported back to Grand Kai's mansion promptly, where they found two more Kais, and a whole bunch of fighters standing behind all four Kais. The first was a big man wearing sunglasses, who was being addressed as South Kai. The other was a short, stout woman, being addressed as the East Kai. North Kai was engaged in small talk with the other Kais, mostly just defending the elephant, or rather, the halo in the room. Upon seeing Goku, he took it upon himself to excuse himself and show the newbie around.
"Hey guys, this is our new student, Goku!" announced North Kai to his group of fighters. "Goku, these are your seniors from the North Galaxy. You'll learn a great deal from them. 7,000 years ago, Migoren fought valiantly with aliens. 3,500 years ago, Srate bravely protected his planet by turning away an asteroid. Then, there's this guy! Olibu. He's from Earth like you, and a few legends are based on him! Everyone here is an amazing martial artist, and they're working on their 10,000 years of training before they can get a private lesson from Grand Kai himself."
"What?! So everyone has to train that long before the Grand Kai trains them?"
King Kai wasn't listening anymore. The other Kais had caught onto his diversive tactics and had become wise to them. They trounced upto the dead deity and starting chanting once more, to the extreme irritation of North Kai.
"Well, since this event has brought us together for the first time in 3,000 years, let's hold a martial arts tournament!" suggested West Kai. The other Kais didn't see why not so they headed to Grand Kai to ask for his permission.
"Oh yeah, that's a great idea! In fact, I'll kick it up a notch. Whoever wins, can get a private lesson from me right now!" chuckled the Grand Kai.
This riled up all the fighters of their representative Kais. Goku was allowed to mingle with the other warriors for a while before the tournament. As he headed back to Pikkon and Olibu, he saw another man standing behind them, extending a hand in greeting: a blond, with wild hair and piercing blue eyes that gave the kindest of looks, wearing a flak jacket and, over it, a long, flowy white cape with the Japanese letters that spelt "Fourth Hokage", giving him a friendly smile.
