Disclaimer: the following drivel is the resort of insomnia, boredom and excessive sugar.. Don't expect too much. Also, Evangelion belongs to Gainax and the Sentai genre is Toei's.
Shin Seiki Sentai
GunNER-V
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Act2: All right stop, collaborate and listen.
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It came from beyond the clouds...
A huge ship, one that breaks all aerodynamic laws.
A hi-tech ship, one bristling with technology and science.
A white ship, painted the color of purest snow.
A powerful ship, armed with lasers, cannons and missiles.
A remarkable ship, one so amazing that multiple sentences were needed to describe it.
The N3 Flag, GunNER-V's primary support craft, had arrived.
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Cue its entrance song:
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Tobe! N3 Furagu!
[Fly! N3 Flag]
Justice in the sky!!
Protection from up high!
N3 Flag FLY! FLY! FLY!
Defeat all the dangers!
Repel all invaders!
N3 Flag fire your lasers!
FIGHT! N3 Flag! FLY! N3 Flag!
Turn the enemies all to slag!
Shoot your cannons!
Use your missiles!
Protect all the children's smiles!
Fly! N3 Flaaaaaaaaaaaag!!!
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"Gott dammit!" exclaimed Asuka, now suited in her red AT Armor, "Do they have to play that stupid song every time the ship arrives?!"
"Be thankful Red," GunNER Green, Kensuke, answered her, "Remember when they didnt have that theme song for it yet?"
"I do, they played ICE, ICE, BABY 2013 Remix whenever it came for us.." GunNER Black reminded their fiery leader.
Everyone simultaneously cringed at the thought.
"ROT IN HELL VANILLA ICE!" shouted GunNER-Red angrily, "ROT IN THE DEEPEST PIT OF HELL!!!"
At the N3 Flag's helm, unknown to anyone, Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki inwardly raged at the insult to his idol.
"Let's see how you like The Ninja Turtle Rap, Second-impact Tribute, next time..." He thought, "I have to remind my people at WinterMoon Records to hasten its release date."
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Fast forward, a couple of minutes…
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The N3 Flag is quickly making its way towards lake Touya, carrying within it the GunNER-V team and its crew.
At the ship's bridge, the group is prepped by Misato via video-feed.
"Okay guys," She explained, "This thing sucks… LITERALLY. In just under fifteen minutes it reduced the lake to roughly 10% of its original volume."
"Hey Kensuke, wasn't your last girlfriend the same vacuum model as he is?" Ribbed Touji. "You know what? I think that's her dad.."
"SCREW YOU, MISTER I-HAVE-A-REAL-GIRLFRIEND!!!" he fired back. "ENJOY GETTING WHIPPED!"
"And you go ahead and enjoy your ronery-time."
"GAAAAAAAAH!" Kensuke was just about ready to snap.
"ENOUGH!!!" Shouted the vice-commander. "I SHALL HAVE NO PETTY SQUABBLES ON MY BRIDGE."
"Yes sir.." Both Black and Green weakly replied.
"Ahem." The tactician cleared her throat, "As I was saying, this thing sure as hell can suck… Stay clear of its snout."
"You heard the lady, Green." Whispered the black armored one.
"GRRRRR.." Kensuke glared daggers.
"Other than that, this thing should be pretty simple to defeat." Misato ended.
"So we go in, do some kung-fu, blow it up, and then wait for next week?" Asked Asuka.
"That's about right, so yeah." And Misato signed-off.
The majestic form of the N3 Flag arrived at the lake just in time for everyone aboard to see the Enjer produce the loudest burp in Japan's recorded history.
*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP*
Five forms were beamed down from the ship a few meters from the marauder.
GunNER-V had finally arrived.
Everyone in the vicinity rejoiced. They were saved.
"YAY!" Everyone redundantly said, "We're saved!"
Landing expertly, the team struck another overwhelming battlepose.[read: FABULOUS+PYROTECHNICS]
"NOT SO FAST! MOJO-JOJO!!!" The heroine in red exclaimed.
To which her blue-clad ally monotonously added, "We won't let you have Townsville."
Every one in the vicinity, and back at GeoFront, sweatdropped.
"Psssst… Wrong crossover guys…" Kensuke discretely said.
"Sorry, the cable back at the apartment broke last week; it's been stuck on Cartoon Network since." apologized Shinji automatically.
"OK. Let me redo it.." Asuka said, before recomposing herself, "STOP! VILE SCUM! YOU SHALL SUCK NO MORE!"
"You have sucked your last suck." Expounded Rei in her usual calm manner.
"Prepare to suck my boot… UP YOUR ASS!" Black not-so-fluently joined in.
"Suck on this," Green said, brandishing his synch-blaster, "hose-nose!"
"Sorry," mumbled Shinji unprepared, without a battle cry of his own, "I don't know anything cool to say with the word suck in it..."
"HAHAHAHAHA! MY SUCKING PROWESS HAS NO BOUNDS!" proudly, the Enjer shouted, "FEAR MY SUCTION!"
"RISE!" He commanded as he spread a number of small white seeds on the ground, "RISE AND ATTACK, EMPEES!"
The seeds instantly turned into Seelenoid foot soldiers, Empees. Genetically modified monsters with permanent shit-eating grins plastered on their eyeless, whale-like heads. All were armed with a wicked looking blade about as tall as themselves. Cheap to mass-produce and highly loyal to The Plan, they were perfect cannon-fodder. But of course, being just generic scene fillers they were not expected to last long in a fight
"GO! GunNER-V" the team lashed out. Each of them now brandishing a sync-blaster/saber.
A relatively easy battle wiped out all of the Empees, leaving only the Enjer.
"IT'S YOUR TURN NOW," GunNER-Red faced the Enjer, "SNOUT-FACE!"
The five GunNERs and one Seelenoid Enjer clashed. Red and Black fought it with sync-sabers, Blue and Green used their blasters for ranged support and Yellow occasionally threw in a highly inaccurate stab or shot. Through all this, the Enjer was able to hold its own against them
"MAXIMUM SUCTION!" and Suckuum sucked their weapons out of their hands.. "NOW I SHALL SUCK ALL OF YOU!!!"
"Hey Ken," Touji snickered, "I think he's coming onto you."
"Screw you Touji." Green proceeded to stuff some armed plasma-grenades into his teammate's hands and shoved him onto the Enjer which was totally caught unawares by this maneuver. The remaining four had barely enough time to get out of the blast radius before Black and their foe were engulfed in a large explosion.
"HEY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW POWERFUL THAT WAS, YOU NERD?!" Black shouted as the smoke cleared. "I COULD HAVE DIED!"
"Tsk! I guess I'll have to use moar grenades next time. " Green told no one in particular.
Suckuum himself was now severely weakened by those several grenades it took at point blank, and it showed. Stunned and badly hurt, he was now unable to defend himself.
:"FINISH HIM!!!" ordered Misato. "USE PEN2!"
"GO! PEN2!" the team simultaneously pressed a button on their wrist mounted synch-changers. A black and white object swiftly descended from the N3 Flag. As it landed, it became obvious that it was a man-sized robotic penguin; carrying what curiously seemed like an over-sized sixpack in its right metal flipper.
"WAAAAARK!" it roared a robotic approximation of the sound a penguin made.
-To Be Continued-
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YAY INSOMNIA! This brainfart is brought to you by Cartoon-Network, Twinkies, and the tropical summer heat..
Vice-commander Fuyutsuki in the series [year 2015] seems at around his late 50's, Vanilla ICE rose to "fame" in the 90's [making Fuyutsuki one of the few GeoFront personnel to have known his "greatness", he may actually be the last person on Earth left to appreciate him]
WinterMoon literally translates into FuyuTsuki in Japanese.
The "Empees" of course are the MP Evas shrunk down into those generic powerranger/sentai foes.
IS THERE ANYWAY FROM KEEPING THE DOCUMENT MANAGER SCREWING WITH MY FORMATTING? goddamn double breaks.
Some other Eva Stuff I might throw in later: JetAlone, TRIDENT, Mana & Mari.
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OMAKE!
Clang…Clang… Clang… It echoed through the long, dark corridor…
Clang…Clang… Clang… Steadily, ominously it grew louder, closer…
For one sheepish boy the sound of metal on concrete proved almost too much.
"Why'd I have to get lost now?" he asked the shadowed, gray walls, "How'd I end up in this section of the base?"
Clang…Clang… Clang… No answer came for him but that sound.
Clang…Clang… Clang… Shinji Ikari, 14 years of age, was just about ready to wet himself.
"Who's t-there?" he challenged the darkness half-heartedly, "Asuka? Touji? T-that's not f-funny you guys.."
Clang…Clang… Clang… The scared lad could barely see something far in front of him…
Clang…Clang… Clang… Something massive… Something that didn't walk like a human…
Months of combat training didn't prepare him for this. Months of living with Asuka and Misato no way in hell helped as well. Visions of monsters, bloody flesh eating butchers, flooded his panicked brain…
Clang…Clang… Clang… He could feel it just ahead, looming.
Clang…Clang… Clang… Two cold eyes stared at him, penetrating the shadows.
Everyone has that "fight or flight" instinct wired in to them; Shinji's unfortunately was perpetually stuck on "flight". Sweat pooled on his forehead and in his palms. Knees shaking, teeth clenched. His bladder control was at its limits. All it needed now was one final push.
Clang…Clang… Clang… It was suddenly right in front of him!
Clang…Clang… Clang… He lost consciousness just as it came into focus; His last thought was of the warmth now spreading on his leg.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!
PEN2 called for clean-up in Quadrant-72b.
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Terminology/Technobabble
Synch-saber/Synch-blaster: GunNER-V's standard issue weapon, able to switch between melee and ranged forms for combat.
PEN2: Photon-Emitting-Neutralizer ver2, a weapon made for the GunNER Team by doctor Akagi. Usually found onboard the N3 Flag or wandering GeoFront in the form of a giant, robot penguin.
JetAlone: A fighter plane that transforms into a small, yet agile, robot. Pilot:Unknown
Project T: All that's known about it is it's being developed by the military, additional info seems to hint at a possible combination system similar to Evangerion.
Vanger-Droid: Vanger machine 1. A humanoid robot designed for melee combat. Forms Evangerion's inner torso. Pilot: GunNER-Red/Asuka Shoryou Langley
Vanger-Jet: Vanger machine 2. A flying-wing bomber plane. Forms Evangerion's wings, chest and helmet. Pilot: GunNER-Blue/Rei Ayanami.
Vanger-Racer: Vanger machine 3. A fast ground assault craft. Forms Evangerion's right arm. Spoiler turns in to "Impact Boomerang" weapon when merged. Pilot: GunNER-Black/Touji Suzahara.
Vanger-Tank: Vanger machine 4. A heavily armored artillery unit. Forms Evangerion's legs. Main gun can be used when combined as the "Impact Cannon" weapon. Pilot: GunNER-Green/Kensuke Aida.
Vanger-Copter: Vanger-machine 5. Aerial scout craft. Forms Evangerion's left arm. Rotor blades become Evangerion's "Impact Sword". Pilot: GunNER-Yellow/Shinji Ikari.
Vanger machines 6 & 7: Both are under development, with suitable pilots already being trained. Vanger-Rescue and Vanger-Liner. Correspondingly colored pink and white
