Chapter 2: Why is this happening to me

Chapter 2: Why is this happening to me!?

Yuri rolled over in her bed, totally unable to sleep.

She thought at first that she'd gotten an illness, for being used to the cold Russian weather.

But this was something else.

An indescribable warm feeling coursing through her whole body and the feeling of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

She had never felt something like this before. She didn't know what to think.

She rolled over once again, and looked at her alarm clock. 12:30 pm. She said some curses in Russian, turned on her room's lights, and sit on the edge of her bed.

The silver-blonde-haired girl stood there for a few moments, then left her room in the house's 2nd floor, and went downstairs to the kitchen, careful of not wakening her sleeping mother.

Yuri just needed a glass of warm milk and then should be able to sleep. On her way to the kitchen, she thought about what might be wrong with her.

'Why the Hell can't I get her out of my head! Damn!' the golden-eyed girl thought to herself.

She had been thinking about a certain pale-skinned girl with long, dark hair and blue eyes for the whole night.

When she finally realized she was at the kitchen, she was surprised to see the lights on. Confused, she went to the dinning table.

"Mother?" asked Yuri at the young woman sitting at the table, having a cup of tea.

Yuri's mother was a 36 years old woman, with long, blonde hair, fair skin and deep blue eyes. Her hair was combed into a low pony-tail, as well as her daughter's.

"Yes. Couldn't sleep. A cup of tea always helps me to go to bed. Do you want one?" Yuri's mother asked her daughter, with a sweet and lovely voice. The youngest Degtyarev nodded and took a seat next to her mother, silent while looking down, playing with her fingers on her lap. The young woman left the table and poured some hot, steamy tea in a cup for her daughter.

"So, why can't you sleep, my dear?"

"I don't know Mother" Yuri replied softly. Her mother set Yuri's tea-cup in front of her, and sat down next to her daughter.

"As you told me you had a great day at school. So the problem must be something else" Yuri's mother said smiling. "Anyway I can help you?"

Yuri remained silent for a moment and then looked up to meet her mother's eyes. She leaned against her mother's shoulder, and the older woman hugged her daughter while stroking her silky, silver-blonde hair.

"Mother…how did you realize you were in love with Father?" Yuri's mother remained thoughtful for a moment, stroking her daughter's hair in the meantime.

Then she closed her eyes and smiled.

"I remember that perfectly. It was pretty much like…love at first sight. We fell for each other almost instantly. I was serving drinks in a bar during the night, and then he came in with a couple of friends. I was totally dumbstruck when I saw him. In fact…I was walking towards him to lead him to a table…when I slipped on the floor."

Yuri giggled after hearing that, as well as her mother. The older woman continued.

"I fell right into his arms and…we looked into each other's eyes" Yuri pulled away from her mother's embrace, and looked at her tea-cup.

"And…" she said softly. "What did you feel?"

Yuri's mother crossed her hands on her heart, and looked up with her eyes closed.

"I remember…feeling warmth across my body, and…butterflies fluttering vigorously in my stomach. Yes…and also, I felt my heart beating faster.''

Yuri's mother opened her eyes and looked back at her daughter.

"Why do you ask that? Has someone captivated your little heart?"

"N-no!…No…not at…all" said Yuri, trying to disguise her hesitant voice. She looked back down to her steaming tea-cup, and sighed. Her mother took her daughter's chin in her hand, and made Yuri look at her sweetly-smiling face.

"Yuri…I'm your mother. Your voice might lie, but not your eyes. They are and always have been honest. You love someone, don't you?"

"Mother…o-of course n-not. Besides, I don't have time for that" Yuri looked away, trying to hide the blush that was struggling to creep on her face. Her mother removed her hand, and sipped her tea again.

"Yuri, honey…it's not good trying to keep your heart silent and listen to your brain only, like you do. You can't help to fall in love with someone, whoever it might be. In love, your heart is the decider. Not your brain."

Yuri looked back at her mother, unable to control the blush on her face. She remained silent while looking at her mother's blue eyes. Images started to flood her mind…thoughts of…the smiling face of Tomoyo.

'Why is this happening to me? What is this feeling…? Am I…no! NO! It can't be…!' thought Yuri, totally confused.

The young Russian girl sipped her tea and left the half-full tea-cup on the table. She then stood up.

"Thanks for your advice Mother. I'll go to bed now, I don't want to be late for school tomorrow."

"Ok" Yuri's mother sipped the rest of her tea, and stood up. "Sweet dreams, Yuri."

The golden-eyed girl bowed her head a little and walked back to the stairs. When she was at the first step, her mother called up her name.

"Yuri" her daughter turned around with a confused look. "I won't force you to tell me what's wrong. You can tell me when you are ready. But remember…love is something way too precious to be left aside."

Yuri's golden eyes were wide-open in surprise and confusion with her mother's words, and another blush crept on her pale face. She quickly turned around and stared at the step of the stairs.

"W-what ma-makes you t-think t-t-this is about…" Yuri spoke so quick that nobody would've understood. But her mother did.

"Yuri…I just do. Espakóina nochi" Was all she said.

"Yes…Espakóina nochii."

Then, she rushed upstairs.

She was still confused.

Her mother's words still wandered around in her mind. She had heard those words before.

Tomoyo had said EXACTLY the same thing. And Yuri couldn't think straight. All she could think of…was the dark-haired girl.

´NO! I'M NOT…! I'm not…no…' Yuri could feel a furious blush on her face, and tears threatening to blur her vision, ´No…it CAN'T be…no! It just can't be POSSIBLE…!'

The young Russian girl ran to her room, sobbing as quietly as she could. She plummeted on her bed, and started to wet her pillow with her salty tears. She just didn't know what to think right now.

´No…THAT'S NOT TRUE! I can perfectly keep my heart SHUT! I'm in CONTROL of this feeling…I am…!'

There was a conflict going on inside the silver-blonde-haired girl. A conflict that not even she knew how would end. There was a nearly inaudible voice that was struggling to be heard.

´You can't keep in denial…you need to accept your own feelings…' the voice said.

"Stop it!" Yuri yelled in the dark of her room, not even caring if her mother would hear it. All the voices inside her head silenced immediately, and Yuri remained on her knees over her bed, covering her face with her hands, sobbing.

Meanwhile, her mother was still downstairs, sitting at the dinning table. She clearly heard her daughter's cries. She sighed.

"Yuri, my child…I wish I could help you. But realizing your true feelings is up to you only. I don't mind who you fell in love with…he or…she has my blessings anyway…"

She couldn't deny it anymore. No.

She was in love with someone. She accepted that fact. What Yuri tried to deny so badly, was to accept WHO she had fallen in love with.

"Why is this happening to me!?"

After an undetermined time of sobbing, Yuri looked at her alarm clock. 1:30 am. She sighed.

The most tiring hour of her whole life.

When she had finally calmed down, Yuri wiped away her tears, closed her eyes, and put her hands on her heart. This time, willing to listen to what it had to say. Her heart beating had raised a little when about…

´I love her…I love you…Tomoyo'

Once she heard that, Yuri opened her eyes and stared at the darkness with a surprised look.

"I…love her…" Yuri smiled widely at this, and then sighed with relieve. It wasn't so bad after all.

"Ya tiebiá liubliú, Tomoyo"

Yuri crawled under the blankets and settled her head on the pillow, facing her alarm clock.

"See you tomorrow…Tomoyo. Espakóina nochi" she closed her eyes, anxious for the next day to start…to see her beloved Tomoyo.

To be continued…