A/N: Thanks a lot to lilo and the guest who took the time to review! And especially also thank you to BixIsHere for pointing out the spelling mistake for Cain/Kain and your kind review as well! I appreciate this very much!

Since I already finished writing the story and I got the time to finalize this chapter today, I decided to not wait too long between those two chapters, so here's the second one today already.

Those two chapters used to be a single one but it got too large, so I had to split it up.

Again a really, really big thank you to Sop12345d for the great beta!


Side

There was a fleeting moment of hesitation before Lucifer finally saw the smile falter. He was deadly serious now and he knew it must have shown in his face – in his very being. So, with a small flitter of air his vision shifted and Linda's face vanished only to show another one he didn't quite recognize.

A demon, that much he could tell – wasn't all that hard with half a face missing and all that. But he didn't know a name. Well, he didn't care for one either, so he guessed it wouldn't make any difference.

"Since… when?!"

The demon smirked but immediately stopped when Lucifer's grip on him tightened.

"Wha'di madda?" the demon croaked, slowly feeling his throat getting crushed by the man who was supposed to be his master.

But the still evasive answer only made Lucifer even more furious. How much of what he had lived through had been nothing but torturous imagination of his very own cell in his bloody hell? Had he actually met Chloe for real?!

He must have met her, didn't he? How could his hell have conjured her up from nothing? Hell was all about guilt and regret. It wouldn't show him anything totally out of the blue. And not for such a long period of time as well. So something must have been real!

His mind was racing, trying to connect the dots now that he knew what was wrong about this place.

"How do I end this?" he hissed between clenched teeth – all the while trying not to crush this… meaningless piece of meat in his hand. "Tell me!" he howled when he still didn't get an answer.

But the demon only croaked, starting to look a bit pale, even for his kind. So, Lucifer loosened his grip just a tad bit. Merely enough for the creature to speak again.

"Speak!" he demanded, feeling something familiar filling his veins again.

Smiling, Lucifer leaned in and he could feel how his eyes started to burn red, his skin peeling away. This felt so much better. He'd missed this feeling as well as the power that had always come with it. He grinned, suddenly feeling terrific, now that he was himself again.

That was also when he had an idea...

The desert. Him waking up in the desert. That must have been the start of his hell loop. Had it even been a loop yet? How often had he been here? Was this the first loop or had he gone through this for an eternity?

"How many times…" His voice was a mere hiss, daring the demon to refrain from answering once again.

But this time, it was different. There was an understanding in the creature's eyes now that it was not facing some human but his very own lord instead. Lucifer could feel him trembling below his hand.

"First… first… time," he finally managed to croak out.

Stumbling backwards, Lucifer finally let go of his minion. So there was still a chance… How long had he been here? How long since the desert? Time was flowing differently down here, so if he had been here for a few months, it could only been days up… up there.

"Do you actually think you can get out of here?"

"I am the bloody lord of hell!" he growled, eyes flashing once more. Although, he suspected his human face was back in its place already – at least it felt as if it was.

"And still, you're here…"

That was unfortunately very true, but he couldn't for the hell of him fathom what was holding him here. It wasn't Uriel because… well, he wasn't here, now was he? So what else… ?

Deep down inside him, he could feel the answer. Swimming on top of a whole lot of bile that was threatening to get out. Because the squirming minion was right in one regard… nobody had gotten out of one of these cells so far. Nobody could get over the regret and guilt they had built up for a lifetime and finally get to be free.

Look at Abel who had been here for an eternity, feeling guilty for driving his brother to fratricide. One would think that getting killed by your own brother would bring you to acceptance one day, the acceptance that maybe they had both been at fault there. And with this acceptance, he would have been free of his guilt. Free pass to heaven. Goodbye and don't forget the T-Shirt.

So far, Lucifer himself had probably been the only one to ever escape a loop, but then he'd had the help of his mother and he'd had something to finish. A purpose. Yes, he'd had a purpose then. To return to Earth and to get this formula to Ella so they could cook up the antidote for Chloe.

Chloe, who had said yes to bloody lying Cain.

Had she? Had any of this actually happened? Because if it did, then this couldn't have started in the desert. He must have been killed later on to end him here and play through this once again.

"How did I end up here?" he asked his minion who was now squirming under his gaze. Seemingly not very happy about his assignment getting turned around.

The demon's answer was all but a mumbling sound, though. "Dunno."

"Speak!"

"I don't know!" the creature answered, finally standing up an once again facing his master with determination. "I'm just doing my job, as you very well know."

"Having fun torturing the boss, hadn't you, now?" No answer to that one, just a raised eyebrow. "Well, this ends right now!"

"Got that already."

That was when Lucifer had to smile. He somehow liked the guts the lad was showing, considering where they were and who they were.

"You remind me of Maze, somehow," he blurted fondly, before he could stop himself. "Well, obviously before she turned on me. Did she actually turn on me?"

One could see that Lucifer's minion was somewhat pleased about the compliment and maybe that was all it had needed to relax and bring them both on the same page. Because instead of being evasive anymore, he shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't really know. I was just here to keep your head focused on the human. How should I know what happens outside of here?"

And he was right about that, Lucifer admitted. The lad was a demon, he couldn't travel to Earth on his own, so he didn't know what had happened up there. He didn't know if Lucifer had really woken up in that desert, sprouting wings again. Didn't know if Cain came to LA, hurt Chloe, proposed to her.

Bloody hell!

He had to find a way out of this! He had to check on her, see if she was alright or if bloody Cain had already broken her. Or worse… had actually married her. Oh no, so not going there!

Revealing his wings, he swung them with a bit of hesitancy. If they were real, he could just fly out of this and everything would be over. So he flapped them one more time and took a deep breath. Time to say goodbye. He jumped up and…

… landed right there again.

"They're not real, are they?" he asked his minion in a flat tone that belied the desperation that was slowly crawling up his spine.

"How should I know?!"

"Right…"

"I'm just here to keep you focused."

What? What did he just say?

"Focused?"

"Yeah, keeping you focused on that gal, right? That's what this is about, isn't it?"

And wasn't he right about this… That had been all he had wanted, right? For her to look at him again, to see him again. So that he mattered to her. Because… because he had hurt her. He had hurt her when he went to Vegas. He had hurt her when he came back with Candy being his wife. He… he hurt her again when he went to Vegas a second time to help Candy out – on Chloe's birthday to top it off.

But he'd thought that she'd forgiven him of all that when he came back and… Hadn't she understood what he had wanted to tell her by that necklace?

Only, if the loop started when he awoke in the desert… had this ever happened? It must have. Some of it must have happened. What did he regret so much that it could build the foundation of this hell loop for him?

"Isn't it quite obvious?"

It was Linda's voice that interrupted his thoughts and when Lucifer turned around he could see that his minion had once again taken her form. Since he knew it was all a scheme, it only aggravated him even more.

"I told you to stop impersonating her!"

But while Lucifer could see her – him – trembling under his masters glare, he didn't change his form back to what he really looked like.

"You told me your desire…"

Lucifer huffed. "I am desire, I…" but he stopped himself before he could add that he didn't have any because it would have been a lie.

And he didn't lie.

It was true, wasn't it. He had told the little demon his desire.

I want her to choose me.

Not for his ego, albeit for a selfish reason nevertheless. He wanted her to choose him, so he wouldn't lose her. Because he didn't want to lose her. He needed her in a way he had never needed anything or anyone before. She was the one that made the bugs crawl inside his gut and he hated that feeling, albeit loving it just the same. And she was the one that'd made him realize there had been a void inside him – only to fill it up with herself.

When at first he'd only wanted to figure out the mystery that was Chloe Decker, by now, he just wanted her to… be there. With him. For him. Seeing him. Seeing him as he really was. Well, not the devil face, maybe, considering what it had done with dear Linda. But still!

He just wanted…

… another chance to put things right.

Suddenly, a stabbing pain shot through his chest and he gasped at it when his gaze fell back to his minion. The creature was still impersonating Linda and for a second it was all too easy to imagine her looking at him fondly, smiling even with those sad eyes of her's when she asked him what he truly desires.

"What do you truly regret?" Not-Linda asked him and again he could feel the searing pain, only this time it seemed to engulf his whole body.

He broke down, keeling over, clutching with his hand at his chest. What was going on? Was this going to be the next start of his loop? Was this what all this was about? Him waking up in the desert, return to Chloe, only for her to get snatched away from him and him waking up in hell?

"This is part of it…" he gasped as realization hit him. "Me… me realizing where I am…" So much pain in his chest. "I'm still stuck in the loop."

Not-Linda walked over to him, finally kneeling over him. Her face was close enough to touch but Lucifer was in way too much pain to even lift a finger.

"What. Do. You… truly... regret?"

He shivered, trembled… Shaking from emotions as well as this overly searing pain that took his breath away. His lungs collapsed, heat suddenly burning his body when his vision shifted again and the penthouse flickered away, slowly, ever so slowly fading into the image of the desert where he had woken up.

Again he looked at Not-Linda who was still staring at him intensely. The penthouse was almost transparent now, the desert looming over him, promising him a fate he didn't want to face. To live through this again and again. To see her getting hurt, leaving him, betraying him, not believing him…

"Tell me!" Not-Linda screamed at him. "What is it?!"

But he couldn't breathe anymore. His lungs were lacking the oxygen they needed for him to form the words. His body was in way too much pain anyway. He broke down completely. Panting, lying on his back staring at the ceiling that was still shifting into an all too brightly blue sky. And, as if again, somebody had to add some insult to the injury, he now felt something pressing hard on his chest. Suffocating and probably soon getting smashed at the same time. What a bummer…

"Say it!" Not-Linda demanded once again, her voice almost sounding desperate.

He could not form the words, though. It was too late. This loop would start again… and again… and again…

I regret that I didn't tell her the full truth on her birthday. And that I couldn't spare her the pain.

Well, maybe he could tell her this time.


A/N: Please leave some feedback on the way out. Thank you very much.