Story: Dreaming Of You

Author: animeg

Rating: M for language and smut in later chapters

Disclaimer: I only own Durarara in my dreams. In reality, it belongs to Narita-sensei.

WARNING: This story contains yaoi, i.e. MaleXMale. Don't like it, don't read.

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"She belongs to fairytales that I could never be…"

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Ikebukuro had been oddly quiet these days and I had to admit, it was making me increasingly uncomfortable.

Usually it practically reeked of the presence of a certain flea that persistently kept coming back here, no matter how many times I threw him away.

Quite frankly, even the mere thought of that louse made my blood boil. It made me want to wrap my fingers around that tiny neck and strangle him until that cocky, arrogant smirk wiped off of that face of his and he was begging for my mercy. I hated him, I loathed him, I despised him more than I ever imagined was possible.

My anger towards him may as well be unjustified, but as soon as I saw that slimy worm's face, it made me want to punch it again and again until it was unrecognizable.

I had never been one support violence, in fact, I absolutely hate violence. It was his entirefault. He was to blame for everything bad that had happened to me. He was responsible for every accident, every attack, every punch, every bullet and abuse hurled at me. It was him who got me in jail, him who got me fired from practically every job and him who made me use violence, effectively turning me into a monster. It was all his fault.

Orihara Izaya.

I hated that name so much that it almost made me fanatical.

I knew the damn louse was planning something big this time. His plans always involved Ikebukuro; it always involved violence, massacre and aggression. That was why I hated him, because his habits were so darn despicable. He, himself, was a despicable, conniving person who would do practically anything to get his own way.

He loved seeing people in pain. He literally took the word 'sadist' to a whole new level. I had no idea how that devious little mind of his worked, but he always seemed to have everything figured out.

It was as if he started a series of chain reactions by just pulling a little switch, so in the end, the whole mess was his responsibility. And he would smirk and look over his master piece of massacre and enjoy every moment of it and then let out a deranged laugh. His state of mind was that of a mentally unwell person. His hobbies, his obsession, everything about him practically screamed 'trouble'. He was a hateful little prick without whom the world would be a much better and peaceful place.

I repeated this fact to myself over and over again. I reminded my self of how spiteful he was and how much I abhorred him, hated his face and his damn smirk. But still even after convincing myself several times, I couldn't stop thinking about the goddamn flea.

How long had it been, I wonder? Almost over two months since he had shown his wicked face in Ikebukuro. I couldn't help but be slightly apprehensive of that fact, since the flea would usually make several visits to piss me off each month.

At first, I thought he had heeded my warning and finally decided to stay away, but that idea soon went out the window. It had been eight freggin' years since I had been chasing him out of Ikebukuro, he never listened before, why should he do it now?

So the only option left was that he was planning something big. Something that would bring utter disaster to everyone in Ikebukuro and bring a big, sadistic smile on the flea's face.

However, that idea had some flaws too. His last master plan involved a three-way war between different gangs in Ikebukuro. He didn't visit Ikebukuro frequently when he was making preparations for that either. But there was a huge difference between then and now. Last time the whole ordeal had started with that serial killer, 'the slasher'. This time, however, there was so such violence.

Ikebukuro was oddly at piece, something which never happened, and was bound never to happen until that damn flea departed from this world.

So this is where my agitation sprung up from. Even after considering so many other situations, why did my conclusion always come to this? Could the flea actually be…dead?

I mean, with that personality of his, there were plenty of people after him…maybe a group of them caught hold of him and…

I sighed, confused. Why the hell was I even thinking about this shit? The world would be a better off place without that pest anyway… Shouldn't I be happy? Shouldn't I rejoice and celebrate? Even though I thought of that, I couldn't help but be vaguely irritated with the flea's uncalled for absence…

I groaned miserably at the searing headache. Damn that louse for making me think so much without any reason at all.

"-and that'll be our last customer of the day. But if he doesn't pay up we'll have to-" Unbeknownst to me Tom turned back "Shizuo?" He called out when he noticed when I wasn't paying attention to any of his words. The questionable voice bought me out of my trance. I turned my gaze up from the ground, only to have Tom observing me, wordlessly asking me what the matter was.

"It's nothing" I mumbled unintelligibly. He just nodded in return and continued walking.

Tom was an excellent mate. He never pushed me to tell him something I didn't want to, but at the same time, when he acted so indifferently, I wanted to blurt out all my burdens to him.

"It's about the flea" I finally admitted after we the awkward silence became too much to handle.

"Izaya? What about him?"

"The flea hasn't been around lately. Makes me wonder what kind of scheming he's doing right now" He didn't reply after that and we kept walking. I was thankful too. I really didn't want to keep talking about this subject, especially when there were these weird thoughts floating around it my head.

The streets were as busy as always, people brushing past me, hurrying off to their businesses what and what not. We passed the Russian Sushi Bar, Simon inviting us in as always; however, he asked me something I wasn't expecting.

"Shizuo, seen Izaya?" I was taken aback by the question.

"Why would I know where that flea is?"

"Hmm…" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Odd. He come often. Must be busy. Shizuo come in. Get Sushi! Sushi good!"

I ignored the offer and jogged a bit to keep up with my employer who had left me behind and already turned into an alley.

That was strange. I knew the louse just happened to love ootoro, so how come didn't he buy any lately? Well, there was the fact that he could buy ootoro else where, but the darn flea would never miss the chance to waltz into Ikebukuro. Besides, I remember one time in high school, when I tried to punch him and he accidentally spilled his whole ootoro bento while trying to dodge. That was one hell of a fight. He got enraged after that. I had never thought Izaya, of all people, would loose his cool over something so trivial.

So from personal experience I could tell that he adored ootoro, but he didn't buy any in the last two months. That's a lot of time for someone who wants to have ootoro in breakfast, lunch, dinner and tea.

Scratching my head that none of this made sense, I continued walking towards my employer who seemed to be talking to a young man at the far back of the alley. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be one of the 'Yellow Scarves' guys. Hmm….I wonder what Tom wanted to talk to him about. Why did Tom even know one of them? Weren't they supposed to a bunch of troublemaking kids?

By the time I arrived, Tom had already finished his conversation and was heading towards me with a satisfied smile. I raised my eyebrow at him, giving him a quizzical look before he signaled me to follow him as we walked out of the alley. A good thing too, that place stunk of trash.

"What was that all about?"

"That was about Izaya" I peered at him curiously. "Turns out the guy's been quite inactive lately. No deals with Mafia bosses, no interaction with gang members, no appointments with his lackeys. He hasn't been doing much, 'cept on private requests" I stared at him, confusion etched in my mind. He probably noticed my expression since he continued "Looks like Izaya's taking a break for a while. Could be good news for us..." Taking a break? Izaya taking a vacation? That didn't sound right. The man had never been out of action; even the mere thought seemed silly. "So you don't need to worry about him since he's probably alright-"

"I'm not worried about him!" Tom seemed taken aback by the sudden outburst since he took a few steps back. Oh shit, I just yelled at my employer…"Erm…eh…Sorry about that, I just-" I fumbled with my words, not exactly sure what to say.

"It's alright" He sighed. "It's getting late anyway. We should probably head off home" He said looking at his watch. Damn, I shouldn't have burst out like that. "It's alright Shizuo. Honestly, stop looking like you murdered someone" He flashed me a smile, and I let out a sigh of relief. Tom was one of the few people who were so close to me, one of those I didn't want to get angry around, although, this debt collector business made it impossible to control my temper since our clients were usually very rude, arrogant and conceited.

After our farewells, we walked our separate paths. Maybe I had nothing else to think about, that's why my mind wandered off to the flea once more.

He hadn't been active, meaning he wasn't planning something despicable. Could he actually be on vacation? I mean everyone needs a break once in a while, right? But the words 'flea' and 'time off' just didn't sound right in the same sentence…Vacation, huh? My mind wandered off momentarily, thinking of all the places one could go to for a vacation… Could that mean-

Suddenly something happened. Something I never expected to happen in a million, gazillion years. An image flashed into my mind, and I imagined Izaya, half submerged in a hot tub, leaning against the edge of the tiles, face flushed with a sweet tint of crimson, his eyes half lidded, looking dazed and distracted, his gaze misty and unclear as droplets of water ran down his chin and onto his pale, flawless neck. His raven bangs sticking to his forehead, sleek and wet due to the water, his swollen lips parted, letting out small puffs of breath…

I literally slapped myself on the cheek, my mind taking a moment to visualize what I had just imagined. My cheeks involuntarily got hot. What the fuck was that all about? Where the hell did that come from?

Shaking my head to get the illustration out of my head, I continued to walk towards my apartment, willing myself not to think of such peculiar things so as to avoid getting flushed and embarrassed for no reason at all.

The sky looked gloomy, covered by grey, angry clouds which threatened to release their burden any moment. A dull hue of crimson, barely noticeable, washed across horizon, making it look like the sun was hidden behind the thick cover of fluffy clouds. The stars which always shone so brightly were barely noticeable and the moon which would light up the sky in the middle of the night remained oblivious to sight.

This kind of weather wasn't common here, and I wouldn't be shocked if there was a thunder storm on its way.

No matter how much destruction it may bring later, at the moment, the sky looked beautiful. Just like a certain scarlet eyed flea. I snorted at the thought. He may be beautiful person on the outside, but the kind of mishaps that transpired because of him, made everyone blind to his alluring appearance. His revolting personality overshadowed his attractive exterior. He was like one of those unreliable, unpredictable people, whom you could expect to stab you from the back at any moment...

Yet despite all that, to my dismay, I couldn't help but be intrigued by him.

He was so small, like he had stopped growing somewhere around high school. But he never let his height put him at a disadvantage. He always made the best of what he had and covered his flaws, his emotions, his feelings by that sharp tongue and that cheerful expression of his. He would never show weakness to anyone, he would never show even the slightest blemish of his cheery exterior slipping due to any emotional circumstance.

That was something that I admired him for, for being so strong and unbreakable on the outside. But on the inside, he was probably like every other person that walked the streets. He probably had feelings to deal with, family problems what and what not.

Family problems. My mind lingered briefly at the thought and then I let out a defeated sigh. Kasuka, my younger brother, renowned actor, was the only family I had. He was almost never home and apart from for a few exceptional circumstances; I barely ever got to see him. His visits to Ikebukuro were getting more and more infrequent and I would often find myself waiting by the phone, hoping he would call. Although I knew that was highly unlikely because he was so busy all the time.

A little while earlier I heard that Hanejima Yuuhei (that was Kasuka's screen name) had got a girlfriend. Some high school girls were crying over their 'precious Yuuhei-san' being snatched away from them. But Kasuka never called to inform me of his relationship. I was disappointed.

It felt like we were drifting further away from each other as time passed. I tried to call him, at times he even answered. But the call would last for no more than two minutes since his manager would start screaming at him from the background that he was late for a rehearsal or a photo shoot.

Maybe I should go home and call him again.

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By the time I got home, the weather had already gotten worse, and raindrops had started pouring from the night sky, making everything under them wet, including my cell phone. I stared blankly at the dark screen, dripping with water, practically screaming out 'Ya, I'm dead, you asshole!~"

With a frown, I fumbled with the battery, but the damn back wouldn't come off. With my eyebrow twitching, I tried again, and maybe I used a little too much force because the back came off, snapping into two pieces in my hand. Oh great, just fucking great. It's like even this phone is mocking me! Damn phone! Are you really mocking me?

With one swish, the phone slammed against the opposite wall. With a 'clink', the rest of the accessories inside it also flew out and were now currently sprawled all over the floor. This is just wonderful. Just freggin' wonderful! Now I have to get a new phone! Dammit!

Still fuming, I stomped over to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, hoping that a nice warm bath would get my mind off all the bad things happening to me.

.

The bath didn't do any good. I was still feeling irritated for some odd reason. Damn, I really wished I could just let it all out on that- Wait, wait, wait! I did not just think that! I shook my head vigorously.

I did not want that flea any way near me. I did not like those useless cat and mouse chases of ours. I did not like the fact that he was the only one could deal with my ferocious strength. I did not like the fact that I had to depend on him to relieve me of all the damn stress that was building up!

I considered the thoughts running through my mind and let out a forced, humorless laugh.

This is so bizarre. Of all the people, I can think of right now, my mind still keeps on wandering to that damned louse. What the hell is wrong with me? I hated him. He hated me. It was mutual hatred. We both hated each other and the whole of Ikebukuro knew of it. So why was-

No I did not miss him!

I did not!

I did not!

DAMMIT!

I flushed my face against the pillow, trying to ignore the disputing thoughts in my mind, hoping that the raging thunder would not let me hear myself think but something else distracted me. My stomach grumbled. Loudly.

I flopped up from the bed, ignoring its protesting squeaks, and slowly walked out of my bed room. Without turning any lights on, I strode towards the kitchen, opening the fridge, hoping to get a bottle of milk; however, today was just not my day. My supplies were almost out. I had been so distracted by my work that I did not get the chance to fill up my fridge with food. My stomach grumbled again and I growled.

I couldn't even go out because of the weather!

Besides it was late. Not many shops would be open by now; people were probably cuddled up in their beds.

I shut the fridge up because the cold air seeping from it was getting to me. And walked lifelessly back to my bed, sinking under the covers once again. Looks like I'm going to have to skip dinner tonight. I should have taken up on Tom's offer and let him treat me. Oh well. No use crying over spilt milk. Milk…I want to drink milk!

I was definitely going to visit the convenient store tomorrow. This body of mine consumes food like a car eats up petrol. Whenever I'm prone to excessive physical exercise, I have to eat a lot to make up for the lost energy. But the good thing is that I never get fat. Chasing the flea half way across town is some exercise, no?

I sighed in defeat. You're a lot on my mind today Izaya and I am not liking it at all.

I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would come over me, and before I knew it, my eyes started drooping and I let myself be enveloped by darkness.

Shizuo didn't know here he was and he didn't know how he got here, but for some reason, he was absolutely positive that it was somehow the informant's fault. He was standing, in a dimly lit corridor, the floor made of finely painted wood and the walls of a dull color of gray. The corridor was surrounded by darkness, and the light which seeped from above, seemed to follow him, as if it was illumination the path he was walking on. It was odd and it was creepy. And the blonde couldn't help it as chills ran down his spine.

As he kept walking, his eyes narrowed as he suddenly spotted a source of radiance, glowing stunningly in the midst of darkness, taking its time as it slowly drew towards him. It approached closer and closer but for some odd reason, the Shizuo was stuck in his place; standing and staring with wide eyes as the speck of light slowly took shape of a man.

It was a raven haired man, with ivory flawless skin and bight crimson eyes which almost looked unnatural. His ebony, silky hair contrasted beautifully with his skin, emphasizing those alluring ruby orbs and the blonde couldn't help but think that there was an angel standing in front of him. The kimono he wore was of a light pink color, decorated with fragile cherry blossom petals which swayed with his every movement, His bare feet making practically no sound as he drifted elegantly towards the blonde, a smile gracing those plump, sinful looking lips as a sweet expression of affection lit up his face.

Shizuo's mind screamed at him to run away but his body betrayed him and the blonde just stood there like a statue, unconsciously licking his lips when the raven finally stopped in front him, a little too close for the debt collector's liking. He gulped down the lump that had formed in his throat, his eyes taking in every inch of the uncovered skin in an attempt to implant the image firmly in his mind.

Their bodies brushed together lightly, the smaller man looking up, his eyes filled with an emotion that the blonde had never seen before. Izaya raised his hand and slender fingers lovingly tracing the blonde's cheek, the feathery touches having a great affect as the body guard shivered slightly, feeling his skin burn under the pressure of the soft yet intimate touches.

The raven took note of this and took the initiative to raise himself to his toes and cover his lips with the blonde's. It was nothing more then a peck, one which sweet lovers gave to each other when they bid farewell and parted at the end of the day. The blonde stiffened momentarily, his body suddenly having its own mind as he reached out to take the smaller body in his hold and crush their mouths together even harder. However, his hands only met thin air as the raven swiftly moved away from his grasp, smiling seductively as he moved further and further from the blonde, his thin form getting engulfed by the darkness surrounding the corridor.

The blonde stumbled forward with no intention of letting the raven get away, but the whole place was empty.

The only thing edging him on were the echoes of the raven's playful chuckles and his husky voice calling out that ridiculous nickname.

"Shizu-chan~"

The blonde felt anxious. He didn't know why though. He was desperate to find his counterpart as worry crept into his mind. His heart was pounding wildly, his ears trying to locate the position of the sounds that were escaping those captivating lips.

All of a sudden the corridor started to transform in front of his eyes, the raven's chuckles being no longer audible to his ears.

The whole scenery was slowly replaced by an empty room devoid of any light. There was just a plain window, one through which the light of the moon illuminated a dull corner "Shi...zu…chan" The voice which had once boomed with cheerfulness now came out as nothing more than a feeble whisper.

Shizuo's eyes widened as they took in the horrid sight in front of him, his breath increasing rapidly and his chest feeling like it had been crush between two brick walls. The raven was on his knees, his head being lifted forcefully as an unknown man clutched his locks harshly, pointing a gun at his temple; a deranged smile plastered on the captors face.

Blood generously cascaded down the informant's forehead, covering his rare ruby eyes, dripping down his chin and soaking into the silk of his kimono, making a large scarlet patch which stood out from the rest of the light color. His exposed neck was decorated with brutal gashes, each one of them looking more painful than the other.

His slender fingers which had been stroking the blonde's skin just moments ago had been ripped off their nails and bled freely, making no movement to show any signs struggle. The blonde stood still for a moment, his heart racing wildly and then, something inside him…snapped.

With a cry, he impulsively launched himself towards the oppressor, with every intention of ripping him limb from limb, unparallel anger coursing through him, making him blind to everything accept the deep desire to have the raven back in his arms.

All of a sudden, multiple shadows wrapped themselves around his torso, effectively trapping his arms and legs, rendering him unable to move. He fell to his knees as he fought against the force, a series of curses escaping from his mouth as his struggling hands were finally forced behind him. The pull got stronger, almost painful, yet he still thrashed about, desperately trying to move his limbs. However, the more he fought back, the tighter the encasing around his body got, digging into his skin, threatening to crush his bones. But no matter how painful the grip got he didn't stop resisting.

"Shizu-chan" Izaya breathed out unevenly as he saw his counterpart's attempts to save him. The moment the blonde looked up, he saw crystal tears beading at the corners of the raven's eyes, his lips turned up in a small, sad smile. "F-forgive me" The broken voice melted the blonde's heart and he ceased all movements when he saw the painful look in the raven's eyes. Izaya knew he was going to die.

The helplessness broke the blonde's resolve, and he fell to his knees as he exchanged his last few glances with the raven. With the last of his strength, the raven, gave him a small, earnest smile and mouthed three words to him which made the blonde's eyes widen in surprise. Before the blonde could as much as respond, the captor's finger pulled the trigger making, blood splash everywhere, effectively ending the brunette's life, and leaving no meaning to the precious words he had said,

"I love you..."

"IZAYAAAA!" I could hear my voice scream as I automatically jolted into a sitting position on the bed. My heart was pounding against my chest, threatening to leap out at any time as sweat rolled down my temple. For a moment, I just sat there, my brain recollecting bits and pieces of what had just happened, and how real the awful thing had felt. My body was utterly exhausted, like I had been pulled down by 10 cranes altogether at once. That exhaustion was backed up another feeling of pain, not physical pain, but emotional, something that ate me up from the inside.

I buried my head in my arms, willing myself not to cry over such a stupid matter. It was nothing but a dream! It was just a figment of my imagination. That's what I tried to convince myself, but it could not explain the void that I felt in my heart right now. I felt confused, more confused than I had ever felt in my life.

For some reason, my mind was bent on the fact that I was never going to see Izaya again. If he were actually dead…If someone really had killed him…

What does it matter to me? I urged my self to recall my hatred for the man. It didn't matter to me! It wasn't supposed to! The louse had to die sometime or another. Either it be by my hand, or by someone else's…

The lack of emotion and willpower in those thoughts finally made me realize. No matter how hard I tried, I probably would never have the courage to end that flea's life.

No matter how miserable he made me, no matter how angry I was, no matter how much I hated him, I didn't want him to disappear from my life. I wanted him to show that disgusting face to me so I could follow him and try to hurt him.

And my mind wandered off to a thought which I had never considered before. Could I actually not hate Izaya?

Isn't it natural to get rid of a person that causes you pain and suffering? But in the end, if you decide you actually need that suffering as a part of your life, does it mean that you're a masochist? Or does it mean that you are willing to forgive that person, no matter what he does to you? Am I willing to forgive Izaya for everything?

I shook my head. That's going too far. I may not want to kill Izaya but that doesn't mean that I'm prepared to look over everything he has done to me in the past.

"F-forgive me"

My heart sunk when I recalled those words. If he said it like that…I'd…I'd probably never hesitate to fulfill his request. He looked so weak at the time that I couldn't help but want to…just hold him tightly.

I curled up into a ball again as I started recalling more of the dream. The kiss, how gorgeous he looked. I know my face is flushed since I can feel it heat up. That dream made no sense! It was just frustrating me for no reason! My heart pounded and I close my eyes recalling that little peck he gave me. The look in his eyes was so seductive, like he was tempting me just to do something I would probably regret later on. No wonder I tried to get him to kiss me deeper… I bit my lip nervously; unable to understand why the mere thought of that kiss was making me feel so vulnerable.

Dammit Izaya, you should know I blame it all on you! Huffing, I sunk down in my bed once again. I turned to the clock which seemed to be laughing at my predicament since it said 4:00 a.m. I've got another five hours to sleep…

Looks like I'll just have to check up on that louse to make sure he's not dead. I sighed in relief. I felt oddly at comfort now after I decided I will be visiting him soon. Izaya, you better have the answers to why I'm feeling all this shit right now or else I'm definitely going to throttle you…

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TBC

Author's ramble: Yup, so here's the next chappie~ I wanted to make it a bit more emotional and such, but it was hard to do since I wanted to keep Shizuo in character. Personally, I think that Shizuo's and Izaya's relationship walks on a very thin, fragile line and if anything happened between them that was out of the ordinary, their hatred would probably dissipate.

And for those of you who don't understand, the dreams are going to be in third-person and the rest of it going to be in first-person. And I also wanted to thank all those who reviewed, favorited and put this story on alert.

Next chapter is going to be Izaya's POV, because I want to give all the readers an idea of what's going on in both of their minds! :D So expect more frustration, and possibly more smutty dreams in the next chapter…~ Oh and if you think this chapter was too long or too dragged, please tell me. I will try my best to shorten the next chapter (which is also quite long). Any grammatical errors, then point them out because I want to improve myself!

Oh! And replies! XD

Akai Mu Tsuki: Haha~ I know Izaya and Shizuo are just on the brink of admitting that they love each other. At times I wonder if they secretly meet up after every little brawl to have some 'fun' and 'lick their wounds' XD. Thanks for the lovely review and I am glad you liked the smut. I'll try my best to make it even sexier.

Sully Takashi Hayato: I'm so glad you like the story!~ Thanks for the review, hun!

Citizen Colbat 1: Erm…*blushes*…Thank you. Although I do feel like a bit of a pervert. I have read tons of smut manga but I haven't really had the courage to write anything down. I hope you liked this chappie!~ Thankies for the review!~

Aihara-Yuki: I made this chapter Shizuo's POV because after reading your review, I decided that the story shouldn't completely revolve around Izaya, no matter how much I love him! XD Thanks for the review hun!~

Please: Updated! :D

VioletIsInPain: Yes, yes, we all hate Namie. Unfortunately, Namie has to play a bigger role in the next chapter, so cover your eyes while reading that part. BUT Namie's actions will lead to Shizaya happening, trust me!~ Thank you for reviewing! XD

H2302: Thankies!~ I'm so glad that this fic received such overwhelming responses. I'll try my best to keep this fic up and running!

Lo: I'm so happy that I was able to keep Izaya from loosing his character too soon~! I like it when both of them are in character! Thank you for the review! XD

Cagallikushinarafika: LoL. I think people are forced to do that when they are frustrated. Thank you for the review, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!~