A/N: I'm super excited to do a story where I can warp canon. Either I follow it for the most part, or ignore it completely in most of my stories. Now, I get to play with it. I can use songs, or general storylines, but I can make other people sing what I think they should, or ignore parts Glee did. Yay!
"Nice going, dude," Finn said once Kurt had run away.
"Shut up, I didn't mean to. I'll be right back." Puck started once again up the stairs.
"Dude, maybe it's not a good-" but Puck ignored Finn, tramping up the staircase, knowing Kurt's was one of the first doors from the tour of the house Finn had given him.
Puck knocked on Kurt's door. "Dude, let me in."
"Go away Puckerman." It sounded like Kurt was crying. Shit.
"Look, I'm sorry. You're upset, I shouldn't have pushed."
"I think I liked you better when you threw me in dumpsters. Don't you know the meaning of go away?" Kurt was definitely crying.
"What if I'm trying to make it up to you?" It was true, he had been horrible to Kurt in the past, and he kind of owed it to him. Finn would be too freaked or grossed out to help Kurt. He really needed to work on that.
"Why would you do that?" Valid question.
"Because you're kind of a badass, dude." Well, it was true, Kurt had put up with so much shit from them in the past, but he still acted like he was completely superior and nothing touched him. Or he had before he went to Dalton, he was.. warmer now. Puck just wasn't sure that was a good thing.
"Really?" That sounded less like disbelief that he was, and more like disbelief that Puck thought so.
"Well, not like me. More like... I don't know, dude. You put up with all this shit and come to school with that damn smirk on your face. It's like you know that you're better than everyone and everything in this damn town, and that's what I used to hate about you. So I wanted to knock you down a few pegs, but it never worked." Kurt was silent, so Puck continued.
"You should be totally bitter and angry and like hate life, but you go and do all these awesome things for people anyway. Why do you think I agreed to help you with that Barbra-vention thing? It was because I realized that you really cared about Rachel, no matter how much you hate her too." To Puck's surprise, the door opened slowly.
"T-Thank you," Kurt said quietly. His eyes were red and puffy, and there were tear tracks down his face. "To be honest, I don't hate you. I should, but I don't. After what you tried to do for Quinn," that hurt but Puck didn't show it, "even though she didn't let you help, it really showed me that you're not a bad person." After a pause, he added, "Y-You can come in if you want," and moved away from the door.
The first thing Puck noticed about Kurt's room was that it was neat. Not obsessively neat, as Puck would have expected, and not as pristinely white as his basement had been. His walls were white, but the lamp by the door was red, and it matched his bed, which was red and brown.
Puck just hovered uncertainly by the door, while Kurt sat on the foot of his bed. "He's an asshole, you know that?" Now, Puck had done a lot of things to girl that could be considered bad, but he never let anyone think they meant more to him than they did. Obviously, Blaine had done exactly that to Kurt.
"No, h-he's a sweet guy, he was j-just frustrated. B-Blaine will be back, and apologetic, m-more like the Blaine I first met at Dalton. I know it." Kurt seemed to be holding onto the vain hope that horny guys did stupid shit. While that was true, Puck had a feeling that Blaine wouldn't be back, that he'd find someone else.
"So you'd take him back? After that?" Puck was furious, and he wasn't sure why. The overwhelming need to protect the vulnerable boy in front of him scared him a bit, not that he'd ever admit that.
"It's not like he h-hurt me, Noah, he just left. He'll be back though." Kurt sounded so hopeful, looking up at him with those wide, innocent eyes. He still thought Blaine was a good guy.
"Not physically," he said, not bothering to hide his thought from the smaller boy. "If I were you, the moment he was back, I'd knee him in the balls and tell him to go fuck himself. If he says he loves you, and he can't fuckin' wait, than he's just an asshole looking to get in your pants." Blunt, but true.
"It.. I love him, though." Tears were dripping down Kurt's face, and he refused to meet Puck's eyes.
"Why?" Kurt looked up at him now, face and eyes still wet, but shocked-looking. "Why do you love him?"
"I don't want to talk to you about this," Kurt said defensively.
"Just tell me why, and I'll never bug you again."
"That's what I told you to tell Rachel, it's not going to work on me," but Kurt was smiling, if shakily, and that was the idea. "If you really want to know, I love him because... he's sweet and funny, and he's probably the only person that listens to everything I say and actually cares. He's been hurt before, but he's so strong, and confident, and he's always happy and smiling. He's a positive person. He can deal with the worst of my diva moods, and me without coffee, and make me smile and calm down and feel better. He's the only person whose ever looked at me like I'm something precious. I-I could list a million things. I just... love him."
"I get that, I guess." Puck did not want to get personal with the little fairy, but he sounded like he was about to jump off a bridge. "I mean, I loved my dad, and he left when I was six. It... it would be so much better if he were dead." Kurt flinched at that, obviously thinking of his mom. "That would mean it wasn't his choice. He just wanted to be the badass, and didn't care enough about me and Sarah to stay."
Puck decided to sit down on the bed with Kurt. If he was going to bare his soul to the gayest person in Ohio, at least he could be comfortable. "I loved Quinn, even though she hated... hates me. I've hurt her, but at least I never meant to. She hurt me on purpose, to try and make me leave her and.. Beth." It was one of the few times he had ever said his daughter's name.
"Why are you telling me this? You don't care, or you shouldn't. Why can't you just leave me alone?" Obviously, Kurt was very defensive when he was upset, and was acting rather like a trapped animal at the moment. Puck, who was occasionally good at making decisions, backed off.
"Alright, I can tell when I'm not wanted. Just don't jump off a bridge, 'kay Hummel?" It sounded like a joke, but Puck meant it.
"What a horribly un-fabulous way to die," Kurt responded quietly from where he was picking out clothes from his closet.
"I'm so sorry, bo," Mercedes hugged him. They were waiting for Mr. Schue to arrive in the choir room, and the girls, dragging Kurt along, had gravitated to one side of the room, while the boys were on the other. Finn kept looking over at him worriedly though, as did Puck, to his surprise.
"I'm.. I'm okay, Merce, really." Kurt felt horrible lying to his best friend, but how could he explain to someone who'd never been in a real relationship that it felt like Blaine had taken a piece of his heart with him?
"Come here," Rachel hugged him as well, and then it was a game of pass-around-Kurt. He didn't mind though, knowing that his girls only hugged him because they cared. Santana didn't hug him, which wasn't terribly shocking, but only because she seemed distracted.
Before Kurt could ask what was wrong, Mr. Schue came in the room, followed by April Rhodes, and the club split back into couples seating. Kurt slid down in his seat slightly, remembering how misfortune seemed to follow him whenever she was around.
"You guys have been a horrible team lately. You're breaking apart, with all the whispering, backstabbing, and love triangles that have been going on, only fueled by Sue's muckrakers. April here reminded me of a similar situation in musical history. Fleetwood Mac, and their album Rumours. So, your assignment for this week is to do a number exclusively from that album. It'll be a great lesson. Fleetwood Mac took all their drama and didn't let it break them apart, but put it too good use and wrote incredible music. April and I will give you a little demonstration with Dreams."
Here goes Mr. Schue with the examples. At least April's outfit was fabulous, if a bit plain. Kurt had ended up between Fuinn, who were annoying cute, and Lauren, who had actually, to his surprise, hugged him earlier. The performance was good, but the line that really struck Kurt was 'Players only love you when they're playing.' Was that true of Blaine? Had he only said that to get into Kurt's pants, like Puck had said? Puck was sitting in the back row, but Kurt could feel his eyes boring into his head.
After they had finished, Mr. Schue added, "Take a song from the album, put your own spin on it," before he dismissed them. Rachel immediately had her iPod in her hand, but no one else looked to concerned about the assignment.
Kurt made a mental note to bring Sam the old clothes of his he had gathered a few days ago, then sat back. He didn't want to go home yet, it would be empty until Finn got there. His dad had trusted him to stay alone for a few days, with the promise that he wouldn't have Blaine over. He had broken that trust, but it didn't matter now.
Kurt felt more than heard when Puck slid into the chair next to him. "Hey, Hummel." Everyone was gaping at him for sitting next to Kurt, but Puck didn't give a damn about people.
"What can I do for you, Puckerman?" 'Can you not take a hint' is what he wanted to ask. Kurt did not want to talk to Puck, the silly things he had revealed in his bedroom regardless, but he would always be polite.
"What song are you doing for the assignment?" Maybe Puck wouldn't pry after all.
"Though I know the cultural impact of Fleetwood Mac and the drama within the band, I don't know their catalog well. A few songs, but not enough to make my final decision." Actually, he knew the perfect song he could sing, but he wouldn't sing it for the glee club.
"I was thinking about Gold Dust Woman," Puck said. "You know that one?"
"Yes, I just never understood what it was about." It sounded like she was on something when she wrote it, honestly.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Puck asked, "Have you talked to Blaine recently?" Of course Puck was going to pry, it was silly to even entertain the idea that he wouldn't.
"Despite what we talked about in my bedroom, it's really none of your business. Thank you for your concern, but I don't need it." He needed someone, but that someone couldn't be Puck. Who he really needed was Blaine. Kurt picked up his bag and began to walk away.
"Everyone needs someone, Hummel," Puck called after the retreating boy.
"Hey," Quinn greeted her boyfriend at the door with a kiss. Burt and Carole were away for the day, but it didn't seem right taking advantage of that with Kurt in the house, and her mom was home. "I need to talk to Kurt." Quinn pushed past her boyfriend and headed up to the countertenor's room, ignoring her boyfriend's confused 'hey!'
"Kurt?" She called hesitantly. Kurt's door was closed, but it usually was. He was a very private person. She could hear strains of music, but she didn't recognize the song, which wasn't that unusual.
"Come in, Q." Everyone had respected her wishes, and continued to call her Quinn, even though they knew her real name now.
Opening Kurt's door, and seeing him lying on his stomach, upside down on his bed, with a magazine, she said "Can we talk?"
"If you want to talk about the last Glee, Puck, or Blaine, the answer is no. If you want to talk about anything else, of course." Kurt seemed very closed off, but he did that when he was hurting.
"Puck was right," she ignored Kurt's answer. "Everyone needs someone, even you." Hopefully, she was not about to be hit by Hurricane Hummel.
"I have someone, multiple someones, I don't need Puck." His tone said 'end of discussion.'
"Blaine was your someone. It seems to me that you need a new one." Perhaps mentioning Blaine's name wasn't her brightest idea.
"I was not entirely dependent on Blaine, thank you very much, Quinn! I am perfectly fine to handle this on my own. I am not a child, and all of you girls need to stop treating me like one. I am perfectly capable of dealing with my first break-up, I can handle it, I'm not some fragile flower! You don't need to treat me like I'm a girl!" Clearly, she had hit a nerve.
"Well, that was slightly misogynistic of you." Kurt was silent. "I'm not trying to treat you like a girl, I know you're not one. You are sensitive, though, and this break-up was hard on you, I can tell." Quinn moved to sit next to him, instead of awkwardly hovering in the doorway.
"Who says I need Puck?" At least he wasn't in denial anymore.
"I know I'm the person you would expect to support Puck the least, after everything that happened last year, but Puck's a sweet guy. He actually really cares about people, and he's sensitive too, as much as he denies it. 'Badass' he may be, but only because he's been hurt, and he doesn't risk letting people in. If he's opening up to you, you're really lucky, because the only time he's really opened up to me was when he sang Beth." and when he told me he loved me, she added mentally, but no one knew about that.
"Why is he opening up to me?" Kurt sounded confused, and he leaned his head against Quinn's leg.
"I don't know. Only he can tell you that. Just... give him a chance, okay?" Kurt nodded, and Quinn left.
Puck slammed his locker shut, making all the losers in the hallway jump. He wasn't really angry, more frustrated. He had no God damn idea why he wanted to help Hummel. School rules say he should hate him, and be resisting the urge to toss him in a dumpster whenever he saw him. But he didn't. For one, he was Finn's little bro, and he would beat the shit out of Finn if he were ever to hurt Sarah. For another, he just didn't. The boy was hurting, and Puck wanted to help, even if Hummel didn't want his help. Puck banged his fist against his locker, which he actually did quite regularly, and would have gone and trashed a dweeb if it weren't for a soft voice.
"Can we talk? Alone?" Quinn. The mother of his baby, and the first girl he had ever loved.
"Go away, Lucy." That was cruel, but the last thing he needed to do was talk.
"I'm not going to go away. Either we can talk in the choir room, or we can talk here, I don't care. You'd rather it be in the choir room though, unless you want to whole school to know everything by lunch." Damn, she could be a bitch.
"Fine." Puck followed the ex-cheerleader, feeling like a puppy at her heels.
When they were in the choir room, Quinn bodily pushed (and when had she gotten so strong?) him into a chair and loomed over him. "Listen well, Puckerman. This is not the time to screw with Kurt, alright? He's hurting, badly, and you need to stop confusing him. If he wants your help, help him. If he doesn't, leave him alone! Understand?"
"Yeah." Puck felt like a wuss, but damn Quinn could be scary.
"You care about him, don't you?" This was the Quinn he was used to, the soft Quinn who was compassionate, the one you only saw outside of the Cheerio's uniform.
"I don't have a fuckin' clue why, but yeah." Quinn's eyes softened.
"I'm sorry for how much I've hurt you," where did that come from? "I never meant to. I know it was hard for you, giving Beth away, but I feel like you'd made progress, as a person, that was erased over summer. I miss Noah, the boy who would do anything for his sister, daughter, or the girl carrying her. What I don't understand is why you're dating Lauren!" And Bitch Quinn had returned. "She's a horrible person."
"What has she ever done to you?" Everyone questioned why the badass that could have any girl in the school wanted Lauren, but Quinn knew him best.
"Lucy Caboosey ring a bell? You should know, Puck, you helped her." Quinn's voice was accusatory.
"I didn't think she'd bring it public. Look, she can be a little bit of a bitch, but she's awesome." Quinn's eyes looked disappointed, for some reason. Puck would never understand the female mind.
"You could do better, Puck." There was nothing to say to that, and Quinn knew it, so she left the room.
It was driving Finn a little crazy, to be honest. Since Puck had been over on Sunday, Kurt hadn't spoken a word to him. Kurt was sitting directly across the table from him, ear buds in, and doing Pre-Calc homework. Finn had been staring at his Algebra homework for about twenty minutes, and was no closer to finishing the first problem than he had been when he started.
"Dude, can you help me with this?" Kurt didn't even look up.
"It's factoring, Finn. You just have to figure out how to split it up." Easier said than done, in Finn's opinion.
"What is with you?" Better to be blunt.
"What do you mean?" Kurt still didn't look up.
"You're ignoring me, and you're all quiet and stuff."
"I'm not ignoring you, Finn," Kurt sounded annoyed. "Forgive me for being slightly withdrawn when I'm upset."
"What happened anyway?" Finn figured it was better not to say Blaine's name.
"You don't want to know, Finn, trust me." He probably didn't, but Kurt was his little brother, it was his job.
"I'm not going to freak out." Maybe not true, but whatever. "Promise."
"Yes, you will. Anytime I mention anything about a... physical relationship between Blaine and I, you turn green and change the subject." Kurt flinched slightly when he said Blaine's name.
"He didn't like.. try anything, did he?" Now, Kurt looked up, only to roll his eyes at Finn.
"Try what, exactly?" Kurt knew he was being a bitch, but he needed to make a point.
"Try to.. forceyoutohavesexwithhim." Finn spit out, sure he was bright red.
"Now that wasn't hard, was it?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "No, he didn't."
"Then what did he do to upset you?" Kurt had been absolutely bawling, which wouldn't have happened if Blaine had just randomly said 'we're over' and left.
"I'll say it again, you don't want to know. I don't particularly want to talk about it, either, so can't you just leave it alone?" Finn needed to know.
"Just tell me."
Kurt's annoyance got the best of him. "Fine. He was blowing me," Finn was already turning green, "and he started pushing me to move further, moving his hand lower, and I said no, made him stop. He started yelling at me and made me choose. Either I had to have sex with him right then, or I didn't love him and didn't want to be with him. I didn't answer and he left." Kurt spit the words out bitterly, but he was too annoyed with Finn to be upset.
Finn looked, and felt, like he was going to pass out. Probably annoying Kurt to find out hadn't been a good idea. It's not like he was graphic, but it was still gross. Well, he had said Finn didn't want to know.
"Happy now?" Kurt snapped, before noticing how pale Finn was. "Sorry, that was out of line," he murmured.
"Uh, it's.. fine, dude." Really, Finn was a horrible liar.
Finn wondered, how do you comfort someone who was broken up with over sex, during sex?
"You don't have to watch this with me, we could watch one of your lame action movies." Cheering Kurt up was the first step to making him happy again, and watching The Phantom of the Opera with him seemed to be a good way to cheer him up.
"Nah, it's cool, dude."
"Don't call me dude," Kurt reminded him with a soft smile.
"Sorry." Kurt put the movie in and curled up on the couch as far away from Finn as he could sit, which wasn't very far.
"Uh, is it seriously in black and white?" Since when do they make black and white DVD's. Kurt just laughed.
"No. This is in 1919, after the bulk of the story takes place. All the flashbacks are in color, and that's most of the movie." Good.
"What's going on?" Is he going to ask questions through all of the movie?
"This is the inside of an opera house, they're rehearsing. The guys that pulled up to the front are the new owners.
"That girl's really screechy. She sounds like Rachel when she's yelling." Kurt couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Never tell Rachel that, but she acts a bit like her too." Kurt seemed to be in a better mood.
"This one sounds awesome!"
"Christine is the part originally played by Sarah Brightman. This Christine's not as good, but she still does the song justice." Kurt seemed to know everything about the play.
Think of me with you silent and resigned
Imagine me trying to hard
to put you from my mind
Kurt sang along softly. He sounded better than the actress did.
"Raoul's kind of a douche, isn't he?"
"Shut up, Finn. This is the title song."
"Why is she following a guy she doesn't know? Is she looking to get murdered?"
"The Phantom's in love with her, he'd never hurt her."
"How does she know that?"
"That song sounded like a bad attempt to get into her pants."
"Well that's what it was."
"Why'd she pass out?"
"How would you feel if someone had a creepy mannequin of you in a wedding dress? I'd pass out too."
"That Carlotta chick is really annoying."
"Now you see why she reminds me of a less-talented Rachel."
"Be nice."
"I am physically incapable of being nice to anyone that fashionably challenged."
"She sounds like a frog."
"Why do you think he said 'perhaps it is you who is the toad'? She's supposed to sound like a toad. My only question is, where can I get the spray he gave her?"
"Holy shit, he just hung a guy!"
"He does that."
"Why?"
"Because he's the Phantom of the Opera, Finn. He's supposed to be scary."
"Well he is."
"How can she sing and run up the stairs at the same time?"
"She's lip-syncing, Finn."
"Oh. They said the labyrinth line earlier."
"That's the whole point."
"That's a really high note."
"Isn't it kind of rude to sing that in front of him?"
"Well, it's his fault for creeping on them."
"It's still mean though."
"Way to disrupt the party, dude."
"Did you seriously just call the Phantom of the Opera dude?"
"Yes. Did he just call him fat?"
"Yes."
"Why are there so many sad scenes?"
"Because we haven't gotten to the end yet."
"That circus thing was creepy."
"Incredibly so."
"I don't like this song."
"I do. If you listen to the words, they're really sweet."
To many years, fighting back tears
why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try!
"Still sucks."
"To each his own."
"This is a creepy play."
"Considering it was written by a deformed, half-mad genius in the catacombs of a famous opera house, one would expect it to be."
"The whole fire thing's pretty cool though."
"Carlotta actually does have an impressive voice, when it is appropriately utilized. Much like our own charming diva."
"When does the Phantom come out?"
"First he has to kill this Don Juan."
"He just enjoys killing people, doesn't he?"
"Yes, but this duet is too amazing for me to care."
"You have messed up priorities."
"I didn't like the ending." By the end of the two hour and twenty minute movie, Finn had inhaled three bowls of popcorn, and was feeling a little bit sick to his stomach.
"There's a sequel called Love Never Dies, but it hasn't come out on film yet. Or on Broadway, for that matter." Kurt had moved steadily closer to Finn during the movie, and was now using Finn's lap as his footrest.
"Is it as cool as this one?" Finn had thought Phantom of the Opera was pretty awesome. It was a guy who went around murdering people because they were in his way. What's not to like?
"The Phantom doesn't hang as many people, if that's what you're asking." Kurt could see right through him.
"Then it's not as cool," Finn pouted.
"The Phantom and Christine end up together at the end, if only for about half an hour." Kurt swung his legs off Finn's lap and almost toppled off the couch.
"Smooth."
"Hey, kiddos, how was this weekend?" Burt asked once they had gotten everything put away.
"Painfully bland, if you must know." Kurt's tone was dry, but didn't give away how he was actually feeling.
"If it was interesting I would have been worried," Burt said gruffly, giving his son a quick hug.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Kurt had forgotten how perceptive moms could be.
"I'm fine, mom." Carole's eyes widdened when Kurt said that, but as Kurt was hugging her, he didn't notice. She noticed Kurt hugged her tightly, and for a little longer than usual, which meant something was wrong, he just didn't want to say so in front of his father.
"How about we watch a movie?" The adults were still working to push the kids together, despite the fact they had been a family for almost six months.
"We just watched Phantom. I, for one, have homework to do." Burt frowned, but Kurt left anyway.
"What's going on with him?"
"As much as I respect your relationship with Kurt, I think this is a mother's job," Carole smiled at her husband before following her step-son.
"What happened?" Carole asked softly, letting herself into Kurt's room. Trye to his word, Kurt had his books on his bed, and seemed to be reading.
"Blaine and I broke up. Well, 'I got dumped' would be a more accurate description, but I prefer to make it sound amicable." Carole was the first, and only, person to get a straight answer.
"Oh, sweetheart, what happened?" Carole asked, climbing onto Kurt's bed and wrappign him in her arms, without a care for the books she knocked on the floor.
"Well, Blaine and I were..." Kurt paused and looked to his step-mom for understanding.
"Busy," Carole supplied with an amused smile. She had suspected the boys, especially Blaine and Kurt, wouldn't be strict about following Burt's 'no.. significant other in the house with we're gone' rule.
"Busy," Kurt repeated with a blush, "and he wanted to... move further, and I said no." Kurt paused long enough for Carole to worry, which wasn't very long at all.
"Please don't tell me he tried to force you." It was practically a beg, but if Blaine had...
"Though he was not as moral a gentleman as I originally believed, he didn't try anything. He just dumped me and left." Kurt tried to seem unaffected, but he couldn't meet Carole's eyes and his voice was thick.
Carole just hugged the boy tighter. Kurt was mature, more mature than any teenager should be, but he looked like a vulnerable child at the moment, in the face of his first broken heart, and he needed a mother. She couldn't give him his mother, but she could help.
"I know you don't want to hear it, especially after the history between you and Blaine," Kurt flinched slightly when she mentioned his name, "but he's not worth it. It'll be okay, I promise."
"It's not even permanent. H-he was just frustrated, he'll be back with a mountain of mixed-up, overtly-sexual apologies," that made Kurt smile, but Carole had a lump in her throat. Kurt would take Blaine back anytime he asked, it wasn't a healthy mentality to have after a break-up.
"Kurt, sweetie, if you and Blaine were to get back together, it would still be the same."
"No, it wouldn't." If there's one word to describe Kurt Hummel, it was stubborn. "He really is a good guy, Carole." Kurt was in denial, she realized. He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. She also noticed the change back to 'Carole.'
"I'm sure he's a good guy, maybe he's just not the right guy for you." Carole rubbed the countertenor's back.
Kurt didn't talk for a few minutes, burying his head in Carole's shoulder. She could feel tears wetting her shirt. "Do you really think it's over?" His voice was muffled, but he sounded broken.
"Honestly? Yes." The reaction Carole expected was a break-down appropriate to how much of a diva Kurt could be sometimes. What she didn't expect was for Kurt to pull away.
"I'd like to be alone please." Carole, despite her concern for the boy, respected his wishes.
A/N: So, next chapter we get inside Kurt's head a little. Lots of anguish-y angst! If anyone wants the order of the Phantom bits (when they take place) it's on my LiveJournal.
Lyrics mentioned:
'Think of Me' from the Phantom of the Opera
'Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again' from the Phantom of the Opera
Reviews are Love.
