A/N: Bellatrix is still just a child, but I feel she's already started to realize that one day she'll have to choose between Sirius and Rodolphus...she can't have both!

Disclaimer: The usual. Harry Potter isn't mine, blah blah. Lyrics don't belong to me, but to sweet Hilary Duff. ;-;


Outside of You

I can't get your attention
And I'm so sick of him
I've got something to say to you
So shut up and listen

Time flew quickly. A week before Christmas, Bellatrix was sitting on the windowsill of Sirius' room at number 12, Grimmauld Place.

"I'll never understand why your family got the manor and we're stuck here," her cousin commented, jumping on the bed and sitting on it with his legs crossed.

Bellatrix glanced at him before staring out of the window again at the grey square outside, packed with Muggles.

"Oh, because my father is older than your mother and he got the best part of the Black family fortune," she said carelessly, tugging at a strand of her wavy dark hair. "Ayway you're pretty well-off here, Sirius, don't pretend you're not."

"We don't have a ballroom."

"Cry me a river."

Sirius smirked and lay down. "So is it true that you've been invited to the Lestranges' Christmas Ball?" he asked slyly, staring at the ceiling.

"Yes. So?" Bellatrix shrugged.

"So Andromeda told me you took a fancy to that boy of theirs. Rodolphus." Sirius said the name with a pompous tone, struggling not to laugh.

Bellatrix leaped off the windowsill and was on her cousin in a moment. The pair wrestled for a minute or so, then Bellatrix, red in the face, spat "I don't like him! Andromeda's just jealous! She's the one who fancies him!"

"I'll believe that..." Sirius began.

His cousin slapped his shoulder.

"...when I see it." Sirius finished mischeviously.

Bellatrix crawled off him, a catlike leap bringing her off the bed and onto the floor, where she sat scowling.

"Admit it, Siri. You're just worried I'll marry him instead of you," she sneered.

Sirius jumped and gave a twisted shriek.

"I'm supposed to marry you?" he yelped.

His pretty cousin glared. "You know that perfectly well. Our parents are all cousins too, and they married."

The young boy laughed and winked. "That's the problem. I shudder to think what our children would be like, Bellatrix. Already it's a miracle us lot were born with no...you know..." He pointed at his head and wiggled his eyebrows. "...mental problems."

Bellatrix went scarlet.

"If that's your way of telling me you don't like me, Sirius..."

"I do like you! I just think you should keep your mind and eyes open and consider...other options."

"Like Rodolphus Lestrange?" Bellatrix asked angrily.

"Exactly."

She could take it no more. With a last glare in Sirius' direction, Bellatrix got up and flounced out of the room, slamming the door behind her. All the way down the hall she fumed. Sirius...he was saying she wasn't good enough. If his parents forced him into the marriage, it would serve him right, the arrogant twit.

-----

"Now remember girls, be polite whatever you do." Druella Black instructed her three daughters, and flicked an invisible speck of dust from Andromeda's shoulder. All the girls were wearing their very best, and the maid had spent hours on their hair, especially on Bellatrix's. According to Cygnus, Rodolphus had been very taken by her.

"Mr Lestrange has been very gracious." Mrs Black went on, "After deciding to invite you three, he thought you would like some company, some boy and girls your own age so you don't get too bored and start making nuisances of yourselves. So you're not going to be the only children at the party, there will be others. Sirius and Regulus are coming too."

"He never told me!" Bellatrix couldn't help exclaiming crossly. Nobody paid her any attention. Narcissa was holding her mother's hand and asking, "Will there be girls my age, Mummy? Do they like playing with dolls?"

The Lestranges' manor was way up north, somewhere near Scotland, so they were going to use Floo powdrer to get there. Druella wasn't very happy about it- "Just when we got them to look clean and tidy!"- but there was no alternative. The girls all lined up, Bellatrix first, and took a handful of powder each.

"As usual, speak clearly, Bellatrix." Cygnus told her. She sniffed. Travelling by Floo powder wasn't new to her; why did her father think she needed to be reminded how it worked?

Stepping into the enourmous fireplace, careful not to get soot on her robes, Bellatrix dropped the Floo powder and said loudly, "Lestrange Manor."

Green flames shot around her and after whirling sickeningly for a moment, she stepped out of an unfamiliar fireplace and found herself in a large room with a long table laid for about a hundred guests.

There was nobody about though, and Bellatrix wondered for a second if she'd gotten the wrong house. She sighed with relief as her family members arrived in quick succession, and Druella spent five minutes cleaning her daughters up before pushing them toward the door and into an even larger room than the one they had left. It was packed with people. Garlands of holly were everywhere, and the walls were covered with what looked like a thin layer of ice: in spite of that, the room was warm. Music was playing, and everybody seemed to be happy. Bellatrix couldn't see anyone her age though. She was suddenly aware that her family had moved away without her and she paused uncertainly. Where to go now?

As if searching for inspiration she looked up and noticed mistletoe right above her head, hanging in the doorway. A revolted expression crept across her face, but before she could get out of the way someone kissed her on the cheek.

Bellatrix staggered back, resisting the very strong urge to rub at the damp patch the boy had left on her face. Be polite. She could do polite.

"Er...hello, Rodolphus," she said, forcing a sickly sweet smile onto her face, "Do you know whe-"

"This way," he said with a grin, grabbing her wrist and pulling her through the crowd to where her parents and sisters stood, politely greeting the Lestranges. Mr Lestrange caught sight of her and roared with laughter.

"Our Rodolphus went straight for you, did he, Bellatrix?" he chortled, "Welcome, welcome...your cousins aren't here yet, but if you follow Rodolphus you'll meet a few of boys your age...a couple of girls too, I seem to remember. I know the Malfoy girl is here, such a sweet child, you'll make friends in no time...Sadly McNair and his son couldn't make it, the little one caught dragon pox, he's not well at all, we got the owl this morning..."

He went on and on, Bellatrix couldn't get a word in edgeways: eventually Rodolphus gestured for her to follow him, and she abandoned Mr Lestrange, who went on talking to her parents. Rodolphus and Rabastan - who suddenly joined them- led Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa to a small, comfortable side room, with several large armchairs. Some were already occupied by a gang of boys and two girls, one looking sullen, the other excited.

"Hey, Rod, are those the Blacks?" one yelled, a boy with untidy blonde hair, scrutinizing Andromeda.

"Funny, I thought it was two boys, not three girls." another laughed nastily, "Did you dress up for the occasion, guys?"

Intimidated, Narcissa hid behind Andromeda, who looked unsure what to do.

Bellatrix shook herself free from Rodolphus and marched up to the last boy who'd spoken.

"I don't have a wand," she said slowly and deliberately, seizing the front of his robes and looking terribly fierce "But if you have any problem with us, my fist is holding conferences."

The boy laughed again, but his eyes flickered sideways, not meeting Bellatrix's.

"Calm down, everyone," Rodolphus said, giving Andromeda an encouraging look, "These are Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa."

He introduced each boy to the three sisters, pointing them out.

"The blonde, he's Fabian Prewett. His brother Gideon is the one with the light brown hair, over there. Fabian's in my year, Slytherin, Gideon is a third year and in Gryffindor. Their older sister Molly is in the other room right now. She's a Gryffindor fifth-year. Anyway,the boy in the corner is Lucius Malfoy, he's a fourth year Slytherin. That girl there is his sister Malina, first year, Slytherin as well. The boy you shouted at..." Rodolphus grinned before continuing, "...is Ajax Mulciber. Next to him we have Nathaniel Avery. They're both in my year and House. Here we..-"

"And your House is...?" Bellatrix interrupted innocently, a smirk curling her lips as her eyes searched for Andromeda's reaction to the reminder of her blunder in Diagon Alley.

Rodolphus gave her a knowing look and smirked, "Slytherin, obviously."

"Perfect. Go on." Bellatrix waved a hand.

"The kids over there are Longbottoms and MacMillans..." he pointed to a group of small children playing quetly in a corner. Narcissa seemed to take to them immediately, for she left Andromeda and ran over to join them. "The boy with black hair...-"

"Is my cousin Evan." Bellatrix said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Then this here is Edmund Nott, his sister Ariadne, Damian Travers and last but not least, Gentian Parkinson."

"But that's a flower!" Bellatrix protested, disgusted with the name Gentian.

"I know," Gentian said humbly, "It's like a tradition, having flower names in the family."

"Not unlike the Black names, Bellatrix, which all have something more or less to do with the stars and constellations," Rodolphus intervened calmly, amused at Bellatrix's straightforwardness. "Anyway this last lot will be coming with you to Hogwarts next year, or with Andromeda..."

Bellatrix did not reply. A bell suddenly went and she looked up in alarm at the sudden noise.

"Dinner's ready," Rodolphus explained, walking to the door and sticking his head out. "Yes, they're all going into the dining room...come on, you lot!" he called. Not waiting for his friends to join him, he took Bellatrix's hand; she flinched inwardly but allowed him to guide her to the room with the fireplace she's been in earlier. Food was on the table now, and along it were seated many people Bellatrix had never met before. Her parents were at the far end with Mr and Mrs Lestrange and a group of men and women, all old enough to be parents. Bellatrix supposed they were Mr and Mrs Avery, Travers and everyone else whose children she'd just met.

"Bella, we're here."

Rodolphus pointed at the other end of the table. All the children were already seated. Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest - why couldn't they be with the grown-ups? - then closed it and reluctantly sat down.

Rodolphus took his place next to her. Opposite them, Bellatrix was pleased to see, were her cousins Sirius and Regulus.

"Howdy," Sirius greeted lazily.

"Where were you, idiot?" she hissed, grinning in spite of herself.

"Oh, I had a few more important things to look after...taming a dragon or two...fighting chimaeras...before coming here." he shrugged, then stared at the person next to her. Rodolphus, Bellatrix noticed, was looking at her expectantly.

"Oh...Sirius, this... I mean, Rodolphus," She caught herself just in time- it was basic politeness to introduce Sirius to Rodolphus, their host, before introducing Rodolphus to Sirius. "These are my cousins Sirius and Regulus. Sirius.." Bellatrix turned to him and noticed he was looking at her rather coldly, one eyebrow raised- what had she done wrong? Returning the icy stare she said cuttingly, "This is Rodolphus Lestrange." To annoy her cousin even more she added, "The boy I've told you all about."

"Yes," Sirius smirked in Rodolphus' direction, "Bella talks about you...incessantly."

"She does?" the Lestrange boy said, sounding pleased. "Nice to meet you, Black."

"Same," Sirius shrugged. His brother nodded quickly.

Bellatrix appeared to be looking down the table at her sisters, but in reality she was watching Sirius carefully. Rodolphus may have noticed this, because he sought to regain the girl's attention.

"Want to see my wand, Bella?" he suggested.

He roused Bellatrix's interest: she looked at him eagerly, then stared at the wand with fascination when he pulled it from his pocket.

"You can hold it if you like." Rodolphus offered. "Here. It's eleven inches, oak, and the core is dragon heartstring. Good for Transfiguration, said old Ollivander."

Bellatrix took the wand carefully and marvelled at the sense of power she suddenly felt. With a wand, she could do anything, she knew. Not that she particularly liked this one- it felt empty, as if its strength had been locked away. Perhaps weak people bought weak wands. Was Rodolphus weak?

"Here, I'll teach you a spell," Rodolphus said, "We're not supposed to do magic during the holidays, but the Ministry won't know it was us who did it, since this is a wizarding household. Hold the wand tight...-that's it. And point it higher."

He corrected Bellatrix's grip, then told her to flick the wand. "Gently, just a little flick, and say 'Wingardium Leviosa'."

Bellatrix tried. Nothing happened.

Rodolphus smiled encouragingly.

"Do it again. It took me a couple of times to get the hang of it."

The dark-haired girl concentrated, flicked the wand and said the words. For a moment, it looked like she'd failed again.

Then a large crystal jug in the middle of the table exploded, showering guests with wine.

While Sirius laughed and Bellatrix stared in horror, Rodolphus swore under his breath.

At the far end, Mr Lestrange had got to his feet and was staring carefully and suspiciously at each child in turn.

Bellatrix wanted to get rid of the wand. Quickly she handed it back to Rodolphus, and he stowed it away as fast as he could...but not fast enough.

"RODDY!" Mr Lestrange yelled.

At least no-one saw me using it, Bellatrix thought with a sigh of relief.

"Bellatrix!" screamed Mrs Black, whiter than usual, her voice trembling with rage.

Sirius leaned across the table toward his cousin and breathed, "You're in for it..."

Rodolphus and Bellatrix got up, both aware that every eye in the room was on them. As they headed toward their angry parents, it occurred to Bellatrix that she had never felt more embarassed; but she held her head high and tried to ignore the suppressed giggles coming from the childrens' end of the table.

She stopped when Rodolphus did, but unlike him did not look Mr. Lestrange in the eyes. She appeared instead to become very interested in the flowery pattern of the tablecloth. To her parents she was always rude and haughty, but here, now, in front of large, bulky Lestrange, Bellatrix was meek and felt tempted to hide under the floorboards.

"What were you up to, eh, Roddy?" Mr Lestrange asked his son menacingly.

Rodolphus gulped audibly, but his voice didn't tremble when he replied.

"I was...teaching Bellatrix some magic."

No! Bellatrix looked up. Why wasn't he lying? He could have made something up, blamed his brother...Mr Lestrange couldn't have seen properly, not from the other end of the room...

"Bellatrix," Druella Black spoke, her voice strained, "I thought I told you no magic. The damage you cause when let loose with a wand is comparable to that of a horde of Erumpents in a room made of glass."

Trying to loosen the tension she adopted a light, breezy manner and laughed affectedly.

"Bellatrix loves to borrow her father's wand," Mrs Black informed the hundred or so people in the room, "And each time chaos and mayhem ensue. I'm afraid she doesn't have an aptitude for magic."

Bellatrix boiled with rage. It wasn't true. Lies. She'd only come across her father's wand three times, once when she was only four, found it lying about and accidentally made a vase vanish, and another time when she was eight and had stepped on it, causing it to set fire to the carpet. The only real time she'd used a wand had been six months previously, when she had ripped apart her mother's armchair because Druella refused to buy her a spellbook she wanted.

"Apologise to Mr Lestrange, Bellatrix." Druella ordered her daughter amidst the chuckles that had broken out among the guests. "Bear in mind you will be punished later. If you can't behave properly when left unattended, then you'll have to put up with the consequences."

Bellatrix felt Rodolphus' eyes on her. She glanced at him quickly: he looked anguished for what she was being put through. Better get it over and done with.

"I'm sorry, Mr Lestrange," she said in a low voice, "We didn't mean any harm."

There was a short pause.

"Don't worry, Bellatrix," Rodolphus' father then replied, trying to pretend what had happened didn't matter, "As long as you realize using wands when you haven't been taught properly is dangerous...you could have gotten hurt."

As if you care, Bellatrix said silently.

Rodolphus was sent back to his place. He went reluctantly, looking back at Bellatrix more than once. The guests sat down again and seemed to forget what had just happened. Bellatrix remained standing and pretended to listen to her mother's long speech about good manners, but the conversation between her father and Mr Lestrange was much more interesting.

"...don't know if the reaction will be quite like in Grindelwald's case," Cygnus was saying, looking worried.

"If he did it, it means it can be done," Mr Lestrange replied fiercely, "Nurmengard had to be built, and we already have Azkaban. The Dementors only need a nudge in the right direction."

"It's too early!" Cygnus said desperately, "Think, we are talking about revolutionizing the system. It would mean drastic changes at the Ministry, a number of illegal..."

Mr. Lestrange snorted. "Moving into the open won't be a matter of days," Bellatrix heard, "What he wants right now is to know how many would willingly follow him. I take it he can count on your family's support, Cygnus, though if your current reluctance is anything to go by, you might soon find yourself facing unpleasant consequences. I'm telling you to be careful, my friend."

Cygnus nodded frantically. "He can count on us, he can, tell him he can! Don't think-"

"Do you understand? Bellatrix, are you listening to me?" Druella raised her voice, drowning out her husband's. Bellatrix jumped, then immediately assumed her sorriest expression and nodded. Her mother shooed her toward the empty chair next to Rodolphus again. Bellatrix was quite glad to leave the adult talk behind as she skipped back to where the children were gathered. Maybe it had been a good idea to have the kids sit together, after all.

"Bella!" Rodolphus exclaimed when she sat down, "They let you go?"

"You bet." she replied, pleased with herself, "I thought your dad was going to kill us."

"So did I," Rodolphus laughed, "Here, have some roast potatoes, they're delicious."

As he passed them to her, Bellatrix's eyes sought Sirius. Her cousin was looking resolutely away from her and refused to catch her gaze.

----

"I was being polite."

"No you weren't. You were sucking up to him."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Just go, Bellatrix."

"No, I won't! You're pathetic, one moment telling me you don't like me and then getting upset because I made a friend!"

"Bellatrix. Leave."

"I said no! Look Siri, can't we forget about it? Next year we'll go to Hogwarts together, aren't you pleased?"

Silence.

"All right, I'm going. You're an idiot, Sirius Black."

Bellatrix stamped across the dining room and ran up the large marble staircase to her room, leaving Sirius in front of the fireplace he would use to get home. They didn't bother saying goodbye to each other.

I don't want you to look past me
I want you to know who I am
I hate it when you ignore me
You just don't understand.


Next Chapter:We fast-forward to the arrival of Bella's letter from Hogwarts.