Thanks for the reviews. They are truly helpful and very wonderful. This chapter deals with a bit of anger and other emotions. Grief and anger can mix and become very potent...

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we'll meet again

Still- Gerritt Hofsink

Stage 2 Anger-

The definition of the word anger means to make angry; enrage or provoke.

Tony stood just outside their bedroom and looked at Ziva's back. No matter what he had tried to say to her, she refused to talk to him about her feelings. He understood that she was upset. He was upset too. It had been his baby too. She acted like he had no reason to be upset at the way that she was acting. There was a distance between them now. Instead of healing itself, it was growing deeper and stronger by the day.

Tony had had enough. He was going to get Ziva to talk to her. No matter what.

So, he went into their bedroom and sat beside her. She didn't open her eyes. She didn't even acknowledge his presence. She simply laid there in her near catatonic state. It was as if he ceased to exist to her.

Tony pushed the eye out of her eyes and whispered, "We need to talk Zi. It's been almost three weeks since..."

Ziva whispered, "I know how long it has been Tony."

"Do you really? Do you realize that you haven't talked to me in all that time? Three weeks and barely a word has come out of your mouth."

She sighed and said, "What would you have me do? Just forget that I lost my baby!"

Tony shook his head and said, "That's not what I'm talking about. It was my baby too Ziva."

"You act like you could care less. Like it is just another one of those things that happen. It looks like you have moved on."

Tony looked at her and whispered, "How do you know how I feel? You haven't asked me. You refuse to look at me. You refuse to talk to me. You walk around this house like a ghost. I love you Ziva. Come back to me. Please?"

Ziva shook her head and whispered, "I can't..."

Tony shook his head and whispered, "No Ziva. You can, but you won't. The baby is gone Ziva! It's time you got out of the house and face reality again!"

She simply looked at him and the tears rolled down her cheek. She reached out and slapped him. Hard. She whispered, "You think I do not know that. I am leaving you Tony. I do not know if or when I will be back. Do not come after me. It is your fault that my baby died Tony! You never wanted it!"

Then, she turned and walked out of their room. He heard their front door slam and Tony sat down on their bed and wondered if their marriage could be saved.

Ziva walked around for the longest time. She was angrier than she had ever been in her life. How dare Tony talk to her like that. She wanted to lash out at him. She wanted to make him just as mad as she was. She wanted to ease this ache that seemed to be ever present in her. The anger she felt however, did nothing to ease the way that her heart felt.

She loved Tony and part of her knew that she was not being fair to him. However, another part blamed him for their loss. Had he really wanted their baby? Had he wished for this to happen?

She was so confused as she walked. She felt the temperature dropping, but she did not care. All she wanted was for this ache inside her to go away.

She walked back inside their house and saw three suitcases packed and sitting in the front hallway. She swallowed hard and walked into the kitchen. She saw Tony standing at the window. He was looking outside and she was surprised when she heard him whisper, "I can't do this anymore Zi. We are both falling apart. Maybe we just need some time apart. I still love you. More than you will ever know. It was my baby too, but you act as if I have no right to be upset or lost."

Ziva swallowed a lump in her throat, "You are leaving me?"

Tony nodded, "We aren't healing Ziva. You're lost to me. You said that I didn't want the baby. Nothing could be further from the truth. That baby was our future. It meant everything to me. You are so blinded by your grief and anger that you can't see what is happening to us. We are both hurting and I don't know how to reach you."

Ziva wanted to say something. She wanted to beg him to stay. Wanted to tell him that they could work it out. That they could move forward. That she wanted to talk to him about her feelings. How she thought that losing the baby was really her fault, but in her anger, she had lashed out at him. She couldn't bring herself to say any of these things however. So, she simply stood there and watched as he walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. Then, she heard him whisper, "I love you Ziva. I will always love you."

"Then stay with me. Please?"

Tony shook his head, "I can't. We aren't..."

Ziva knew that she could not let him just simply walk out of her life. She had to fight for the man that she loved. She walked into his chest and whispered, "I love you Tony. I am just hurting so much right now."

Tony felt his heart melt and whispered, "Me too Ziva. Me too..."

They stood there for the longest time and simply held each other. Their tears and grief mingling in the darkened room. They both knew that they were a long way from resolving anything, but this was better than anything that had happened in the past three weeks. Maybe, just maybe this was a step back towards healing. Their first of many steps that they needed to take to get back to each other...