Four months later…
Johnny stared into the sink. "Jesus."
"What?"
Johnny started at Mike's voice. "Look."
"At what?"
Johnny glared at him. "The potato!"
Mike peered into the sink. "Okay. Now what?"
"Oh, never mind!" Johnny snapped, snatching up the potato and walking away. "Roy, look at this."
Roy looked up at his partner and waited expectantly. "Well?"
Johnny gestured at the table. "Look. What do you see?"
Roy complied. "A potato," he deadpanned. Chet, seated on the couch with Henry, snickered.
"I know it's a potato," Johnny exclaimed. "Everybody knows it's a potato. You have to use your imagination. Now look at it and tell me who it reminds you of."
Roy once again stared at the tuber. He studied it for perhaps ten seconds before straightening.
"Johnny, I don't know what you want me to see. Who is it?"
"Jesus."
Roy looked again. "I don't see it."
"Sure you do. Just keep looking."
The senior paramedic leaned closer over the potato. Johnny hovered over his shoulder, also staring at the vegetable.
Roy sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I still don't see it," he stated, folding his arms.
Johnny gestured at the potato. "You're just not trying hard enough, Roy! Marco sees it! Don't you, Marco?"
The fireman swallowed hard. "Uh, well, maybe, uh, maybe you could say that it looks like Jesus."
"So why does it have to be Jesus?" Chet inquired from the couch. "I mean, why not Moses?"
"Or Noah?" Mike supplied.
Johnny picked up the potato and glared at both men in turn. "It can't be Moses or Noah," he informed them, "because it's Jesus. Anyone with any sense could see that this must be Jesus. I mean, look at the arms. They're spread out. Moses didn't spread his arms."
"How do you know?" Cap asked, looking up from the newspaper that he had stopped trying to read.
"Yeah, Gage, how do you know what Moses did with his arms?" Chet asked. "What about when he received the Ten Commandments? He must've reached for them."
"Chet…shut up!" Johnny thrust the potato at Roy. "Look. See how it has arms? And this," he went on, pointing to a knob at the top of the potato, "this could be the head."
Roy, desperately wishing to get out of the conversation, pushed his chair back and stood up. "If you want to believe it's Jesus, then it's Jesus. To me, it's a potato that we were going to have for dinner until you went a little crazy."
"You just don't know how to look!" John shot back, cradling the potato in his hand. "You're too…close-minded!"
"Well, I'm too hungry," Cap broke in, his crossed arms indicating his patience level as being at a dangerously low level, "so how about we stop gabbing about a potato that may or may not look like Jesus and get dinner started?"
The men scrambled to get the table cleared and set, and Johnny, with a properly wounded expression, disappeared with the potato.
----
After dinner Johnny retreated to his bunk, where he sat cross-legged and obviously deep in thought. Roy nearly reached John's side before being noticed.
"If you've come in here to make fun of me, you might as well save your breath," Johnny stated.
Roy raised his hands. "I'm not here to make fun of you, and I wasn't earlier, either."
Johnny's expression indicated his disbelief. "So what do you want?"
Roy sat on his own bunk. "You've been pretty touchy today. Anything you want to talk about?"
"I haven't been touchy. It's you guys…can't even let a guy have an opinion on something."
Roy's mouth twitched. "Johnny, it's a potato."
"See? That's what I mean!"
"I'm not following you," Roy replied.
"Oh, never mind!" Johnny snapped, jumping from his bed. "Just never mind!"
Roy sat still, totally perplexed.
Johnny abruptly turned back toward Roy. "You wanna know what's bothering me?" he asked.
"That would be nice."
"That potato. I know it's a potato, but what if…what if it's meant to be something more?"
"You mean like a sign?" Roy tried.
Johnny pointed at Roy. "Exactly! A sign! Maybe even a warning that we need to pay attention to."
The whistled strains of The Twilight Zone theme stopped the conversation cold. Johnny folded his arms and glared at Chet, who innocently stepped between the paramedics, his lips pursed in an off key attempt at humor. Roy rolled his eyes and waited for the fireworks.
"Chet, you are so…juvenile!" Johnny sputtered. "You're just unbelievable!"
"I know," Chet replied, grinning. "That's my charm."
Not saying anything further but obviously fuming, Johnny stormed from the room.
Roy stopped Chet, who had been about to follow. "Chet, lay off Johnny, okay?"
"What's the deal?"
"He's real touchy about that potato. I don't know exactly why, but I think it'd be best if you left him alone about it."
"Aw, Roy, you take all the fun out of life," Chet whined as he left the room.
"That's my job," Roy called after him.
----
The shift ended without any more mention of the potato, and Johnny fervently hoped that Chet and the others would forget about it. Unfortunately, the subject came up almost immediately after the next shift started.
Johnny stood in front of the open hood of the squad, intending to search for some repair that would keep him busy and away from teasing coworkers.
His inspection was short-lived, for Chet sauntered over to the squad and stood next to Johnny.
"So, John, where is it?"
Johnny eyed Chet suspiciously. "Where is what?" he asked.
"Your holy relic? I wanted to touch it for good luck."
Johnny's mouth dropped open, but only random sputtering syllables emerged.
"Well, come on, John!" Chet pressed. "You can't keep it all to yourself, now! That wouldn't be fair."
"Chet!"
The fireman darted away from Johnny. "I know, you've got it under your pillow," he called, dashing into the locker room, Johnny right behind him.
Chet grabbed the pillow from John's bunk. "Nope, not there."
"Chet, stop it!" Johnny yelled.
"Well, maybe it's in your locker," Chet replied.
Johnny paled. "Stay outta my locker!" he warned, grasping Chet's arm.
"Why? Is that where your holy potato is hidden?"
"Just stay out of it!"
Chet faked a run to the left, causing Johnny to trip over the bench. The fireman then sprang to the paramedic's locker and pulled it open.
----
Uproarious laughter reached Roy as he closed the refrigerator. A second later Chet burst into the day room.
"Roy! Roy, you won't believe it, but your partner has a shrine for his potato!"
Johnny, close on Chet's heels, appeared about to lose it with the shorter man. "Chet, I'm telling you for the last time, leave me alone about it!"
Chet choked over his laughter. "You oughta see it, Roy! He's got it propped up on a piece of red cloth! I think you need to check him over. He must have some brain damage or something!"
Roy quickly stepped between the two men. "Okay, okay, the joke's over. Johnny, why don't we go check for that oil leak that B shift mentioned?"
Johnny seemed to be genuinely angry but he finally followed Roy into the apparatus bay, where he was kept busy until the first call came a quarter of an hour later.
----
For once, the men were allowed an uninterrupted meal. Johnny ate with relish, seemingly over his anger at Chet. Roy watched him closely, however, not at all sure that the issue was over.
It wasn't. Chet made some silly comment about the French fries they were eating, Roy wasn't even sure exactly what, but it rubbed Johnny the wrong way. The two immediately fell back into their squabble, were finally shushed by an ill-tempered Cap, and Johnny retreated into the locker room.
Cap turned to Roy. "Just what is his deal?" he asked bluntly.
Roy sighed. "I don't know. He's been like this ever since he found that potato."
"Well, has he talked about it at all?" Cap pressed.
"Not really. Someone keeps interrupting us," Roy replied, looking significantly at Chet.
"He's really sensitive about that potato," Marco said helpfully.
"He's got something going on, that's for sure," Roy said. "Listen, guys, let's lay off of Johnny for awhile, okay? At least until I can figure out what's up with him. Believe me, he'll tell me eventually. He always does."
Cap clapped his hands together. "Okay, sounds good. Until Roy tells us otherwise, we don't mention Gage's holy potato."
The men laughed, then went about their various chores.
----
The next shift started badly. Johnny came into the station anxious and short-tempered. Two or three times he appeared about to launch into a heart-to-heart with Roy, but each time the appearance of Chet or something else would stop him. Roy tried to be patient, but the situation was beginning to wear on his nerves.
Johnny rubbed the windshield of the squad, then paused and glanced over at his partner.
"Roy…?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing."
The senior paramedic finished polishing his side of the windshield and set the cloth down. "Johnny, just say what you want to say. You've started to tell me about a dozen times this morning. Just say it!"
Johnny continued to wipe the windshield. "It's nothing, really. I've just been thinking about something for awhile, and I…"
"Yes?" Roy prodded.
"Well…do you believe in God?" Johnny rubbed harder, seeming to concentrate on his job.
Roy smiled indulgently. "Is that all? Johnny, you've been moping around here afraid to ask me if I believe in God?" He couldn't stifle a chuckle.
John bridled. "If I had known you were gonna laugh at me, I never would've said anything!"
"I'm not laughing at you," Roy reassured him. "I'm just glad that you're finally talking about what's bothering you, that's all."
Johnny tossed his cloth down. "Well, are you gonna answer my question or not?" he demanded.
"Do I believe in God?" Roy pondered for a moment. "Well, I guess you could say that I do, although I'm not really religious. But, yeah, I believe that someone or something is up there." He studied his partner. "What about you? Do you believe in God?"
"Sure he does," Chet interrupted, appearing from behind the engine. "I mean, he's even got a potato that he says is God. Pretty strange, if you ask me."
"I didn't ask you!" John replied hotly. "And I don't have a potato that I think is God. I said it looks like Jesus. There is a difference, for your information."
Chet spread out his hands. "Gage, it's a potato! A vegetable! French fries. Mashed potatoes. Hash browns. Baked—"
"Okay! Okay!" Johnny exclaimed. "I get the picture! You don't have to go on and on about it!"
"Who's going on and on?" Chet continued, wiping his hands on a cloth. "I'm not the one who has a shrine to a potato in my locker!"
John's face grew red. "Don't you have hose to hang or something?" he asked.
"What, and miss this stimulating conversation?" Chet replied. "Not on your life."
Roy opened his mouth to try to break up the feuding pair when the klaxons went off, saving him the effort.
----
Johnny sank into bed, bone-weary after the long fire. He and Roy had returned to the station alone, leaving the others to mop up at the scene. The fire had kept them busy for several hours, and although there had been no casualties, the paramedics had put in more than their fair share of work. Johnny had thought he would have fallen immediately to sleep, but instead he lay awake, unable to shake the questions that had become his new companions.
"Can't sleep?" Roy's groggy voice came from the bunk next to his.
"Naw. Thinking too much, I guess."
"What about?"
Johnny turned over to face Roy. "It's been four months."
Roy's brows knit for a moment, then cleared. "The shooting."
"I thought I'd put it all behind me. Maybe I did, for awhile." John paused, trying to speak the thoughts that plagued him. "It's kinda like it was worse because it happened in a church. I mean, a church is sacred, y'know? And some things just shouldn't happen in a church. It just isn't right."
"Well, I don't think that anyplace is good to get shot," Roy said.
"No, of course not. But don't you see, Roy, that it's almost worse in a church because…well, because that's a place for…God."
It was Roy's turn to roll over. "I didn't know you felt that way."
Johnny sighed. "Haven't you ever wondered about some of the situations we get into? The fires, the buildings that should've collapsed but didn't until we were out of them? And what about the people we've rescued who should've been dead, but who somehow hung on until we were able to get to them? Haven't you ever wondered about those things, Roy?"
"Well, I guess I do think about them sometimes, but I generally try not to." Roy smiled in the darkness. "Keeps me from getting spooked about how close it is sometimes."
"I think about them. Especially lately…since that shooting. I keep wondering why it all happens the way it does. I wonder if I've been missing something."
"Missing what?"
"Well…God."
"God?"
"I don't even know if I believe in God," Johnny confessed, gesturing in an attempt to lighten his words. "I mean, I don't really think about religion that much."
Roy glanced at him. "And…" he prodded.
"Well…" Johnny raised his hands. "I wonder if maybe…if maybe I need to."
"Johnny, I think that it's perfectly normal to have questions. To wonder about your place in the world, why you're here, who's running things. I mean, in our line of work, there are plenty of reasons to wonder about why things happen the way that they do."
Johnny was silent, obviously pondering Roy's words. He finally looked over at his partner.
"I know that I haven't said much about that day."
"Not really. I didn't push because I figured you didn't want to talk about it."
"Yeah." Johnny studied the floor. "I don't remember too much, but I do remember that I thought that I was gonna die. In fact, I was sure that I was a goner."
Roy nodded. "You came closer than I ever want to see again."
"When I was lying there, everything got dark, and I felt like everything was about to end. Roy, I was scared to death."
"I think we all were," Roy replied, trying to smile.
Johnny shook his head. "No, I mean literally scared to death. I think that I saw the other side."
Roy's eyebrows raised. "Uh, okay. You mean like the tunnel with the light at the end?"
"No, not exactly. What I saw was dark…distant. I can't really explain it, but I knew that I didn't want to go near it." John folded his arms. "I couldn't seem to stop myself from going, and I was scared out of my mind. Then I heard a voice."
"What kind of voice?"
Johnny smiled self-deprecatingly. "Well, I know now that it was the pastor, but at the time I thought it was an angel." He felt himself blush.
"Yeah, I think I remember the pastor talking to you. So you remember it, huh?"
"Yeah. Roy, his voice…his words got to me. I was so scared, but somehow his words helped me hang on."
"Brackett said it was a miracle that you didn't bleed out," Roy supplied. "I felt pretty helpless, knowing you were bleeding in your belly and there wasn't much I could do except get you to Rampart. And then waiting and wondering if Brackett would be able to get to the bullet. I sure don't want to go through that again."
"Roy, you said it was a miracle that I didn't bleed out. What if it was a miracle?"
"Johnny, it's a figure of speech. I meant—"
"No, listen. I've seen enough and heard enough, and I know you have, too. Some things just can't be explained."
"I just don't think much about it."
"I didn't, either, until I was shot in a church," Johnny said thoughtfully.
