AN: Lucida Lownes created a Gambit clip video to "I'm Too Sexy" on youtube after reading this. It's very cool :D
/watch?v=BzsJqQvyrEY
Chapter 1: The Auction
One month later:
Logan and Bobby were backstage along with a number of other men standing around, chatting and otherwise entertaining themselves.
"Logan?" inquired a familiar voice.
Logan turned around and raised his eyebrows.
"Remy?"
"What are you doing here?" they said together.
"Uhh, I think it's obvious," Bobby said, looking between them. "Being auctioned off."
Gambit chuckled.
"You've reduced yourself to doing auctions to get a date, Gumbo?" Logan asked. "How the mighty have fallen."
"Hardly. I owed Lucy a debt."
"Ahh. I was blackmailed."
"Aww c'mon, it'll be fun!" Bobby said cheerfully.
Logan and Gambit looked at each other, then at Bobby.
"Yes," Logan said dubiously. "Fun."
"Do yo' even have any idea what a roomful o' excité femmes is like, mon ami?"
"They can't be that bad."
Logan and Gambit started laughing.
"This is gonna be so much fun," giggled Jubilee.
"I can't wait to see Bobby," Kitty said. "I wonder who's he gonna get bought by?"
"Oooh, I hope it's someone old," Tracy grinned.
"Rogue? You okay?" Storm asked.
"Oh, fine," Rogue replied with a wave of her gloved hand. "Just a little more crowded in here than Ah was expecting. Lucy got a good turn out."
"Yes. The entry fees covered all the expenses and everything else was donated," Storm nodded. "So all the proceeds from the actual auctioning will go to the kids."
"That's great."
There was a crackle through the speaker system and Lucy took the stage. She thanked everyone for coming and went into a short spiel about the deaf and blind children, before explaining how the auction would work.
"And now, without further ado," Lucy said finally. "Our first lot is Ralph Peterson."
The girls watched while Ralph came onstage. Lucy read out a short biography as Ralph did his thing.
"Ooh, he's hot," Tracy said.
"Gonna bid?" Jubilee asked.
"Nah, I'm just here to watch."
Ralph ended up selling for two hundred. There were a couple more, then:
"Lot number four is Bobby Drake."
Jubilee wolf-whistled as Bobby walked down the catwalk.
"Bobby is twenty-one and is currently studying accounting. He enjoys winter sports -"
"Gee I wonder why?" Kitty giggled.
"- bidding starts at one hundred. Do I hear one hundred?"
Jubilee helped up her paddle. The girls giggled.
"Jubes?" Tracy asked.
"Well, someone had to go first," Jubilee grinned.
"One hundred. Do I hear one-ten?"
When the bidding seemed stagnant at one hundred and fifty, Lucy then added: "You know, I hear this guy works out... you want to see -"
Whatever she was saying was drowned out by a number of women agreeing that the did in fact, want to see what he had to show for himself. Bobby, who was having a great time clowning around onstage, pulled off his shirt, whipped it around his head and then started doing the arm flexing he was so fond of. The X-girls laughed.
"Is every guy here tonight gonna end up shirtless?" Rogue wondered.
"Quite possibly, if I know Lucy," Storm replied.
"Esh. Ah'm gonna get a drink. Anyone want anything?"
Tracy was the only one who wanted anything, so while Bobby was being sold for a final total of one hundred seventy, Rogue headed to the bar for drinks for the pair of them.
"Oh y'know what we can do Rogue?" Tracy giggled a couple of lots later.
"Yeah?"
"We could so turn this into a drinking game."
"Yeah? How do ya figure?"
"Drink whenever the guys swing their shirt around. Drink whenever bidding goes over 200. Drink whenever Lucy says 'C'mon, is this guy hot stuff or what?'."
Rogue laughed.
"Uhh, are you sure that's a good idea?" Kitty asked dubiously.
"Well, not if you can't hold your liquor..." Tracy grinned.
"Ah think it's a great idea," Rogue decided. "After all, it's not like either of us are bidding tonight. What would Ah even do with one of them? Stare at him all night?"
"And I don't have any money."
"That's because you have a drinking problem Tracy," Jubilee pointed out. "You keep spending your money on drinks."
"That is so not true," Tracy replied. "I don't have a problem with drinking at all. Whoo! There's another shirt swinger!"
"Drink!" Rogue chuckled.
The girls clinked their glasses and drank.
Thus the night progressed, and Rogue and Tracy slowly but steadily got more and more drunk. Rogue moreso, as Tracy had more practice with holding her liquor.
Lot number twenty-seven was Logan.
"Logan works as a teacher at a local prep school. His hobbies include motorcycles, martial arts and giving students detention."
"Ain't that the truth," Rogue giggled.
The bidding began, the total quickly climbing.
"Two hundred. Do I hear two hundred?"
"Get ready Rogue," Tracy grinned.
Storm looked at the two of them, sighed, then lifted her paddle.
"Two hundred! Do hear two-ten?"
"Drink!" Rogue and Tracy said together.
They drank.
"Y'know what? I think we should drink to Storm bidding on Logan."
Rogue giggled.
"Yeah," she agreed. "It's about time."
"Excuse me?" Storm questioned.
But the two ignored her as they drank again. The bids continued to rise.
"If it hits 500, we drink again," Rogue decided.
"I'm for that," Tracy giggled.
"You two should really stop drinking already," Jubilee said.
"If either of you puke on the way home, I am soooo not cleaning it up," Kitty added.
"Maybe we should stop them from getting any more drinks."
"Psh, you two are so lame," Tracy dismissed.
A group of women in another part of the room started chanting "Shirt! Shirt!" Not requiring any further encouragement, Jubilee, Rogue and Tracy joined in with the chant. Logan acquiesced to the 'request' and a loud "whoooo!" sounded across the room as he pulled off his shirt.
"Aww, he didn't swing it," Tracy sighed. "So sad."
"Do I hear four hundred and ninty?" asked Lucy. "C'mon, is this guy hot stuff or what?"
"Drink!"
"I hear four-ninty! Do I hear five hundred? Five hundred? I hear five hundred! Do I hear five-ten?"
"Drink!"
The bidding continued. Storm eventually bowed out of the running when it hit 750.
"Drinking again at a thousand?" Rogue suggested.
"Absolutely!" Tracy agreed.
Rogue and Tracy then listened in anticipation, waiting as the bidding continued to climb.
"Do I hear eight-fifty? Y'know girls, I know for a fact that Logan here has a very sexy growl. Yes! Eight hundred and fifty to number 42."
Finally bidding ceased at a final total of $1160. Rogue and Tracy drank again with much cheering and giggling.
There were precious few more lots left to go after Logan, much to the relief of Storm, Kitty and Jubilee, who felt that Tracy and Rogue were just getting a little too drunk.
"And now for our thirty-second, final and sexiest lot of the evening, I give you Remy LeBeau."
Storm whistled as Gambit strutted onto the catwalk.
"That your friend, Storm?" asked Kitty.
"Yes, yes it is," Storm smirked.
"He's hot," Tracy decided.
Gambit walked down to the end and ran a survey of the room. He spotted Storm and smirked at her with a wink. Storm chuckled.
"Oh this is going to be good."
"Remy comes from New Orleans. He's fluent in English and French and an art expert."
"An expert on stealing it," Storm snickered.
"Ah have a house in New Orleans," Rogue sighed. "Ah used ta go there every year during Mardi Gras."
"Did you ever flash for beads?" asked Tracy.
Rogue giggled.
"No. Aunt Irene never would have let me do that, even if the idea had occurred ta me. Too little."
Like Logan, and a few of the other men before him, the bids began to rise quickly. Gambit, once he had identified the bidders, took it upon himself to flirt with his favourites from the stage. A wink here, a suggestive movement there. He whipped the entire crowd into a frenzy.
"Drink!" Rogue and Tracy said together when the bidding hit $200, and then again when it hit $500.
"Wow," Jubilee said. "He hasn't even taken his shirt off yet. Hey is it just me, or is it really hot in here?"
Storm chuckled.
"Remy's a real charmer," she told her. "In more ways than one. He's the kind of guy who never really has a problem getting a woman."
"Did he ever get you?" Kitty asked.
Storm answered with a smile.
"Now I happen to know from personal experience," Lucy said, "that Remy is some seriously hot stuff under that shirt..."
"Shirt! Shirt!"
"She called him hot," Tracy nodded.
"That counts," Rogue replied.
They drank and then looked up while Gambit began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Slowly. Deliberately. Purposely exaggerating the movements required to slide the shirt from his well built arms, where it dropped on the floor, revealing his perfectly sculpted chest.
"I hear six-seventy! Do I hear six-eighty? Six-eighty for this fine specimen of a man. I hear six-eighty!"
"We are sooo going to hit one thousand," Tracy giggled.
"Yes, yes we are," Rogue nodded. "In fact, let's hurry this up a bit, shall we?"
"What -"
But before Tracy could finish the question, Rogue stood, waved her paddle and yelled "One thousand!"
"I hear one thousand," said Lucy. "Do I hear 1010?"
Gambit turned at the sound of Rogue's voice and his eyes fell on the white-streaked woman he had noted at Storm's table earlier. She and a friend of hers each had a swig from their respective bottles and then turned to look back at him. Well, she hadn't bidded before, but she was definitely easy on the eye and he offered her a wink that made her laugh. He then caught Storm's eyes and the pained expression on her face. She realised he was looking at her and gave a slight shake of the head. Gambit merely smirked and returned to flirting with the crowd.
"Wow," Jubilee said after awhile. "He's the highest yet. We're almost at $2000."
"Yeah... No! No, 2000 is not reason for you two to drink again," Kitty said, glaring at Rogue and Tracy. "Seriously, you two have had enough."
Rogue sighed.
"It's not fair," she said to Tracy. "All these women getting all these dates. They could date any one any time. I never get to date. Well, except Bobby. He doesn't really count though."
Tracy giggled.
"Why don't you bid on Remy again?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," Storm said the same time Rogue said: "That's a great idea."
Rogue and Storm looked at each other.
"You don't want to get involved with Remy," Storm said. "He's not very -"
"It's just one date," Rogue pointed out. "It's not like anything could ever come of it."
Her mind decided, Rogue waved her paddle again.
"I hear $1980! Do I hear $1990?"
Onstage, Gambit smirked while a bidding war raged between about four different women, including Storm's friend. He moved between the four, trying to decide which one he preferred to go with. From the stage there wasn't too much to go from. There was a short, black-haired woman with an ample bosom, if a little plain. The brunette was practically drooling over him, which was mildly amusing. The blonde was scantily dressed and yet had very little to fill her clothes with. Storm's friend had some nice curves on her, and managed to look sexy even though she was completely covered up, which rather intrigued him. Then too, if dating her friend meant he could annoy Storm some, well, that was always fun but he could probably hook up with her later if she didn't win.
"Ah wish they would just shut up," Rogue muttered. "Can't let an untouchable girl have a date for once?"
"You tell 'em Rogue," Tracy said encouragingly.
"Ah will," she said and stood up again with her paddle in the air. "3000!"
"Rogue," Storm said tersely. "You're drunk. I really think - "
"It's muh money," Rogue snapped. "If Ah wanna buy a date with a hot guy then Ah will. Not like Ah got anything else ta spend it on."
"Rogue, I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret. It's a lot of money to spend when you're not... not in your right mind."
"How can ya tell if Ah'm not in muh right mind? Ah never even know when Ah'm in muh right mind."
Tracy laughed.
"It's not funny," Storm said.
Still the biding continued, with only one of the other women dropping out. Gambit found himself being rather amused by Storm's friend, who was giving him the distinct impression of having done a bit too much drinking. Probably why Storm warned him off. He sauntered over to her end of the room, caught her eyes and made a deliberate point of looking her up and down suggestively. She laughed. Storm groaned and buried her head in her hands.
"Rogue, please stop bidding. I'll set something up with him if you're still interested after you sober up tomorrow."
"Where's the fun in that?" Tracy asked.
"You know what's funny?" Rogue giggled. "He is. Oooh Mr Can-Get-Whatever-Woman-He-Wants and he's making eyes at me. That's hilarious! Whoops!"
Rogue held up her paddle again.
"Muh arm's getting tired," she admitted.
"Maybe you should stop then," Jubilee said.
"That's a great idea," Rogue decided. "I should let the other women keep going until their arms get tired and then start bidding again."
She giggled merrily.
Kitty chewed her bottom lip.
"Maybe I should phase her paddle?" she suggested softly.
"Aww," Tracy pouted. "But bidding on hot guys is fun."
"Wouldn't stop her from standing up and yelling," Jubilee said, shaking her head.
Rogue completely missed what they said, instead watching Gambit as he moved onstage with an almost feline grace. Everything about him was a visual seduction. He didn't posture or clown around, he didn't have to. Her smile faded as she watched him moved between the two other women still bidding. He'd stopped coming over to her. She liked it when he came over and made eyes at her, amongst other things. Wouldn't those two ever stop? She hadn't had a date she since and Bobby broke up three years ago, and wasn't really expecting to get one again. Rogue bet they wouldn't have a problem touching him. It wasn't fair.
"Won't they shut up?" she muttered, glowering in their general direction.
"I guess they'll keep going until they reach a point where they're not willing to spend any more," Storm said. "It's ten dollar increments, so..."
"Well, Ah'm tired of waiting."
"Rogue -"
"Ten thousand dollars," Rogue said, standing up.
The room was almost silenced, as the latest bid had been barely over four thousand. A smug look appeared on Gambit's face as he slowly turned around, throwing Lucy a smirk.
"Uhh, do I hear 10,010?" Lucy asked.
When neither of the other two bidders said anything or moved, Gambit swaggered back to Rogue's end of the room. She was still standing, one foot up on the chair and a pair of flashing green eyes looked back at him.
"Ten thousand going once. Ten thousand going twice..."
A look of smug satisfaction appeared on Rogue's face, before she sat back down, infected with laughter. Storm sighed heavily while Lucy concluded the evening.
"C'mon Rogue," Storm said. "You'd better go pay for your date. Let's go."
"Okay," Rogue said cheerfully.
She stood again, only to find that as she attempted to walk from the room, her feet refused to go straight. She laughed while Storm supported her out, and they left the room to the pay desk. Gambit, now with his shirt back on, met them there as Rogue wrote up a cheque. Or attempted to. In the end she just signed it after Storm wrote it out.
"Your friend seems to be a little drunk," Gambit said mildly.
"Hi!" Rogue said cheerfully. "Ah bought you."
"Oui," he smiled. "Dat yo' did, cherie."
Rogue giggled.
"We're gonna go on a date."
"Oui."
"That's so funny," Rogue laughed. "Do you know why it's funny?"
"Non..."
"Ah'm untouchable," she said in a low, conspiratorial tone. "Can't touch anyone, ever, at all. Otherwise Ah hurt 'em. It's funny because everyone's saying how sexy you are and Ah got you and Ah can't touch you."
She laughed while Gambit flicked Storm a curious look. Storm opened her mouth to say something, when she was interupted by Rogue speaking.
"All night it was like, let's taunt Rogue by showing her all the things she can't ever have," she went on merrily. "And that was kinda sucky. But now it's really funny because Ah got the guy Lucy was selling off as the best."
She paused.
"Storm?"
"Yes, Rogue?"
"Ah think Ah'm drunk."
Gambit snickered softly while Storm sighed.
"I'm sure of that," she said as the others joined them. "Jubes? Would you mind helping Rogue out to the car?"
"Okay," Jubes said, giving Gambit a wink on her way past. "C'mon Rogue, home time now."
"Oh good," Rogue sighed. "Hey tonight was fun."
"Yes, yes it was."
"Hey Tracy!"
"Yep?" Tracy said, leaning heavily on Kitty.
"We shoulda drunk on ten thousand."
There was laughter and groans as the girls left. Gambit didn't even bother wiping the smirk from his face as Storm turned back to him with a stern expression.
"Do not hurt that girl, Remy," she said fiercely.
"Wouldn't dream of it," he replied, then paused and asked "What's all dat about being untouchable?"
Storm gave a brief explanation of Rogue's uncontrollable mutation. Gambit raised his eyebrows.
"So, she hasn't touched anyone since her powers manifested?"
"Not a soul since she was sixteen, except during the two months the 'cure' was effective."
He gave a low whistle.
"Just, please Remy," Storm said. "Please be careful with her okay? Don't do your usual thing."
"Yo' make it sound like my usual t'ing is bad, cherie," Gambit smirked.
"Remy -"
"Relax, Stormy. I won't do anyt'ing t' make her regret spending the money."
Storm sighed.
"Good. And Remy?"
"Oui?"
"Don't call me Stormy."
Gambit laughed as she left.
