Chapter I
"GAH!!" I shouted, causing Dean to throw the papers he was reading into the air and grab for his 1911 Colt pearl grip. He shot a glare at me when he realized that there was no actual immediate threat. Sam simply allowed his eyes to glide in my direction from our bed, which in turn made me heart misbehave in frantic little sputters. Thankfully I have a glorious poker face. They both waited with little patience and a lot of interest to see what had caused my sudden out burst.
"This case is not making any sense!!" I growled, frowning over the papers that I had spread methodically over the hotel desk.
"Are they suppose to?" Dean shot back. My jaw dropped briefly.
"Yes." I said, acting much like a two year old whose bubble had just be burst. Sam rolled his eyes and went back to reading one of my many Magick books that we brought with us on hunts. Our usual banter irritated him. Since I had decided to join the guys on a few of their "Road Trip Hunts", Dean and I had several fights a day. Sometimes devolving into Punch Bug Wars, which we always left Sam out of. He believed that our Wars were childish in nature. I was inclined to agree but there was nothing more satisfying than catching a Punch Bug and wailing on an unsuspecting Dean, all the while screaming "PUNCH BUG (insert colour or description)!! NO PUNCH BACKS!!" Of course that usual meant that poor Sam would have to sit in the back of the Impala, crunch into the tiny space or he would risk getting hit by a flaying fist. It also killed Dean that I had faster reflexes and better eye sight than he did. So when ever he spotted one, he let it all out, fist flaying in, most times, feeble attempts to make contact with my leg, arm, torso, or anything that he could hit.
"Jay," Sam said with his normal patience, which today was irritating as hell!
"Not all the cases make sense." I resisted the urge to sick my tongue out at him.
"Yes they do, especially this late in the game." I shot back instead.
"We know who, what, where and when." I said thinking of all the information that we had found so far.
"We are missing the why." I continued. By now Dean had rolled his eyes and gathered the paper he had been reading. He recognized that this was going to be an argument between me and Sam. He didn't really need to be present mentally, but he couldn't really go anywhere, being wanted by the Federal Government and all.
"Normally the why doesn't matter. We find it, kill it and move on." Sam had become less interested in the why after Dean spent all that time in Hell. He had turned slightly cold when it came to understanding them. All he wanted was to kill them, or one specifically. Lilith. But she had gone under ground and had stayed there. Smart choice. Sam was on the war path, and wouldn't stop until stopped or he had her head on a platter.
"It matters to me." I whispered, looking back down at the information. Sam took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He gently placed a bookmark to save his spot and closed the book. He stood slowly and walked over to me, barely making a sound. Suddenly his hand was in front of my eyes. I sighed, sat back and crossed my arms. Yes, admittedly I was acting like a child, but what happened to Dean was not my doing. I didn't even know it had happened. All I knew was that Sam a disappeared, like off the grid, for months. Why should I have to suffer the aftermath? Sam just stood there, patiently waiting. But I am stubborn.
"Oh for God sake." Sam said exasperated, before I could jump out of the way, Sam had scooped me up into his iron grip arms and was walking out of the door with me. He paused briefly to put his shoes on and then we were outside in the cool night.
"Sam," I started to protest but he would not let me go. I didn't have shoes on or socks for that matter. The ground was covered in snow, so where ever we were going, I was not going to run away. Sam knew I hated having cold feet. It would be easier for me to sit, stand or stay put and listen to what he had to say. We walked, well he walked, to the Impala. I was not sure I liked where this was going. He put me in the back seat and then climbed in after me. I retreated to the corner of the back seat and curled into a ball. It was kind cold out here and I was very under dressed. Sam reached into the front seat and grabbed one of his winter jackets. He wrapped me in it, of course it was more like a freaking trench coat on me than a jacket. Advantages of having a very tall and built guy. He looked into my eyes, I could never resist getting lost in his jade green eyes. They were smoldering. I sighed and leaned into his open arms. I was lost. Whatever he wanted to say would make perfect sense, he always had that effect on me and worse, he knew it.
"Tell me why you need to understand their motives." He demanded. Which took me of guard. I frowned into his chest and pulled back.
"Old habits die hard, I guess." From my time in the FBI, it was key to understand the why. The why was the catalyst, the necessary bit of information that would get the perpetrator caught or killed. We didn't really talk about my life before the demon attacked and killed my family. It was not really my favorite topic.
"I understand that. And I know that you don't really want to talk about those days, but Jay," He curled his arms around me.
"I need to understand you. I don't know why I have to, but I do. That is a portion of your life I know nothing about. And after Las Vegas, I need to." Ouch. He was right. The stuff that happened in Las Vegas six months ago changed things for us. I had fallen back into an old life. The investigation, the hunt for a killer. All of it was so familiar, though it was a different life for me. I took a deep breath.
"When I was part of the FBI, understanding the why was necessary to stop the perpetrator." I explain the better half of my life before the demon in a simple sentence. I knew it would not satisfy Sam for long, but it would have to do. After all, we never talked about his time at Stanford and Jessica. Those were places we just didn't go. Those were skeletons that I didn't want to see or share. Sam curled his arms tighter around me as if reading my thoughts. My mind
was racing, through all the information that I had gathered. Suddenly little details began to emerge. My heart sputtered again, but not out of desire for Sam. It was out of dread for what I just realized. A new pattern was emerging before my waking eyes, and I didn't like where it was pointing. I saw the victims, each one of them having a chilling similar look to my parents and Jacob, to friends of my old life. I shot straight up, slamming my head into the roof of the Impala. I didn't even feel the pain. There was a new sense of dread in my system. I climbed over Sam frantically, ignoring his calls, I took off toward the hotel room. I slammed through the door, causing Dean to panic again in a shower of thrown papers.
"Christ, Jay!!" He shouted.
"Shove it Dean." I said. Something in the tone of my voice made him sit straight up. It couldn't be. Was all I could keep thinking. I pulled up pictures of all the people I had known in my last life, setting up a slide show. Sam burst into the room, frantic.
"I figured it out." I said, hitting a few choice buttons the slide show began. As the guys watched, horror crossed their faces. Dean's eyes narrowed and briefly flashed to solid black, they only did that when he was really angry. Sam's eyes grew steadily wider, flooded with panic.
"The demon is after me."
