The Dangers of Writing a Love Letter, pt. 2
Since he had left breakfast early – half an hour early, in fact – Remus was the only person in the Arithmancy classroom. When he arrived, he sat down and pulled out a book from his school bag. His goal was to drown himself in the story and completely forget about the insanity of his life. He was fairly successful: he hardly even noticed as the classroom gradually filled up with other students. He did, however, notice when Lily arrived; she announced her presence by dropping a large and rather weighty pile of library books on to his desk.
The blond glanced up at her, took one look at the mountain of library materials, and lowered his own, slightly battered copy of Life with the Bloodsuckers: an Autobiography, by Vincent Laurence. "Um, good morning?" he said hesitantly.
"Good morning!" Lily replied cheerily.
"Is something going on that I should know about?" Remus questioned, examining the titles. They were all bizarre things like 101 Ways to Discover Secrets or A Complete Collection of Wonderfully Sneaky Spells.
"What?" asked Lily blankly. "Oh – these. I've been researching."
Remus frowned, confused, and then he caught a glimpse of the title How to Tell Someone You Love Them (With Magic) and suddenly everything was made clear. "Oh, no."
"Oh, yes," Lily grinned. "And I learned some pretty interesting stuff, too."
"Well, hurrah for you," Remus said. "By all means, feel free to keep your knowledge to yourself. I will not feel hurt in the slightest should you decide not to share." Turning away from the girl, he stared at the blackboard at the front of the classroom as if it were the most captivating thing he'd ever seen.
"Now, wait just a minute-" Lily began, but she was interrupted by the entrance of Professor Vector and the start of class.
The day's lesson was, to Remus's disappointment, not a very difficult one. They were merely required to copy down notes as Professor Vector enlightened them on the many different properties of numbers, leaving Lily plenty of time to continue their discussion in hushed tones during class. Remus was vaguely annoyed with the whole situation. Having been close friends with Lily for several years, he had known that she could be rather determined at times – he had just never expected to become the subject of that determination.
About ten minutes into class, Lily leaned over and tapped a finger lightly on the desktop. "Look, I found some really useful information in those books," she hissed.
"That's wonderful, Lily, but I already told you: it really isn't necessary," Remus whispered back.
"But it is!" Lily paused when the girl sitting the front of them glared at her, and then continued in a quieter tone. "You'll never do anything on your own; you're absolutely hopeless! If I don't help you along, nothing will ever happen!"
"And who says we want anything to happen?" Remus countered.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Would you stop with that already? Of course you want something to happen! What would you rather do: live the rest of your life in regret that you never had this relationship, or spend the rest of it having the pants snogged off you by your soul mate?" Remus opened his mouth to reply, but she waved a hand at him impatiently. "Don't bother answering; that was a rhetorical question."
Remus fought the urge to bang his head against the table. "Lily, I think you're taking this a bit far-"
She ignored him completely. "So after dinner, I think you and I should meet in the library to go over these books. I already marked several pages that looked interesting, but I've only glanced over them; I haven't had time to do a thorough reading yet."
"But-"
"No, I will not tolerate refusal! You will be at the library promptly after dinner, or I will know why."
Once Arithmancy had ended, Remus practically ran from the classroom lest Lily should try to accost him again. She was in his next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, but since she normally sat with her friend Alice – almost on the opposite side of the room from where the Marauders sat – Remus figured he would be safe.
Sirius, James, and Peter were already in the classroom when Remus got there. Sirius was sitting backwards in his chair in order to have a rather lively discussion with James, who was sitting at the desk behind him. Sitting next to James was Peter, who was looking back and forth between the two and nodding occasionally. As Remus took his usual seat next to Sirius, James shot him another meaningful look. Remus seriously contemplated getting back up and walking out of the class.
"Hey, Moony?" said Sirius, turning around to greet him. "Is it possible to for humans fly to Mars?"
"No," replied Remus simply.
Sirius frowned. "Damn."
"I told you so!" James shouted triumphantly, pointing an accusatory finger at Sirius.
"But if you could just find a spell that would last long enough..." Sirius suggested.
"But it isn't just a matter of being able to fly – there's a certain lack of atmosphere to consider."
Sirius did consider it, but only for a short moment. "Even with a broomstick, though–"
James cut him off impatiently. "You still wouldn't be able to breathe!"
"Say you found a spell that made it possible for you to breathe in outer space?"
"Even if you did, there's no way it would last long enough."
"But what if–"
Someone had to act like the adult eventually, Remus thought. Shaking his head, he waved a hand in between the two boys to get their attention. "Alright gentlemen, that is quite enough. We're here for Defense Against the Dark Arts, I believe, not debate. Padfoot, I'm sorry to have to inform you, but you can't fly to Mars. Prongs, please stop provoking him; it's absurdly rude."
Sirius shrugged in a graceful defeat. "Eh, it's alright."
James, however, crossed his arms across his chest, glowering. Then he spotted Lily across the room.
"Lily, my darling! You're alive!" The bespectacled boy nearly tripped over his own feet in his haste to run to his girlfriend. Remus and Sirius and Peter all exchanged amused glances.
"Tantrum averted," Peter concluded happily.
Free time, Remus thought, was extremely pleasant. Or rather, it was extremely pleasant when it involved getting away from the insanity that was Lily and James of late. An hour and a half long free period before Charms with neither of the two to bother him seemed like heaven to Remus. He had no idea how he was going to last through the rest of the day, what with Lily's determination and James's eyebrow raising, and if he didn't give in, who knew how long this behavior could last. Remus was trying particularly hard not to think about the rest of the week; whenever he did, it became nearly impossible to resist the urge to crawl under his bed and stay there.
Here, though, was a wonderful, relaxing free period, and Remus was resolved to enjoy himself. After digging through the collection of books under his bed, he pulled out a well-loved and rather worn copy of The Fellowship of the Ring and headed for the common room. Most of the Gryffindors were in class; the only other occupants of the room were a couple sixth year girls, and a lone seventh year who was sitting at a table attempting to build a Muggle house of cards. Every so often a card would slip and the whole house would collapse, leaving the boy to curse and start over from the beginning.
Remus had intended to read, but from the moment he sat down on the couch, he was distracted. There was a grey among the colors used on the cover of his book that he was prepared to swear was the exact color of Sirius's eyes. Which, of course, got him to thinking about Sirius. What if Lily was right about him? What if he actually had feelings for Remus?
No, he couldn't. Sirius had never been one to hide his feelings; if he liked Remus, surely the blond would have found out by now. He flipped his book open to a random page, but only for the purpose of looking occupied. No, he was sure that he would know if Sirius liked him. Since Remus hadn't been ravished to within an inch of his life, the black-haired boy obviously didn't feel anything for him. Logically, that meant there was no reason for Remus to admit to anything.
Remus was so caught up in his internal quandary that didn't realize he had company. When he heard a familiar voice only a couple inches from the left side of his face, he started violently; he had forgotten that he wasn't the only one of the Marauders with this period free.
"'Silence fell again.'" Sirius had sat down next to Remus and was leaning over his shoulder to read out of the open book. "'Frodo, even in that fair house, looking out upon a sunlit valley filled with the noise of clear waters, felt a dread darkness in his heart.' Moony, what are you reading?"
"The Lord of the Rings," Remus replied, still slightly breathless. "Are you purposefully trying to scare me out of my wits, or was that just for your own, personal amusement?"
"Sorry. You just looked like you were on another planet or something. I thought I should call you back." Sirius paused, and then his eyes lit up and he asked with some excitement, "were you on Mars? Can you tell me what it looked like?"
"Red," Remus replied, rolling his eyes. "Very red."
Sirius pouted. "Moony, you're no fun!"
"Whoever said that I was supposed to be fun?" Remus countered playfully.
"I did," Sirius informed him. He pulled away and leaned back against the couch, but his eyes remained on Remus. The werewolf felt as though he was being studied, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck tingle. He was struck with a sudden fear that Sirius was somehow going to catch on to his feelings – that something in his own eyes would give him away. Unsure of what else to do, he stuck his nose into his book and attempted to look like he was reading. He could still feel Sirius's eyes, though, and he wished irrationally that he were invisible. At last Sirius said, "Is everything okay?"
Remus almost cringed. "Yeah," he said, trying his best to sound sincere. "Everything's fine. Why do you ask?"
"It's just... you seem kind of stressed."
"No," Remus shook his head. "No, everything's fine."
"Oh. Okay." Sirius's gazed wandered, and Remus tried to remind himself to breathe. The seventh year's card tower fell again, and he swore loudly. When Sirius looked up again, he wore a mischievous grin that Remus was quite familiar with. "So, my dear Moony: were you entirely determined to stay indoors this afternoon?"
Remus played along, feigning thoughtfulness. "Well, that depends. Do you have something else in mind?"
"I wondered if perhaps you might do me the very great honor of accompanying me on a stroll around the lake."
"Oh, I don't know," said Remus slowly, biting his lip.
"What must I do to convince you?" Sirius asked, fluttering his eyelashes dramatically and making it very difficult for Remus to keep up the act without laughing. He leaned back slightly, balancing his chin on the fist of one hand, and gazed seriously at his companion.
"I find groveling to be rather compelling, actually."
At this, the black haired boy groaned and threw himself theatrically to his knees, proclaiming loudly that he should not get up until Remus consented to go with him. With his face to the ground, he didn't notice Remus carefully rise up from the couch and start tiptoeing towards the door. In fact, Sirius looked up only just in time to see the werewolf climbing through the portrait hole. Shouting indignantly, he jumped up and took off after Remus, who ran for all he was worth.
The two boys raced the entire way down to the grounds. Remus won, but just by a hair. He and Sirius collapsed unceremoniously onto the grass as soon as they reached their destination.
"Good thing Filch wasn't around," panted Sirius, running a hand through his hair and causing it to stick up in the back.
"Agreed," Remus said with feeling. He was extremely conscious of the way Sirius's chest rose and fell with each breath. Quickly, he closed his eyes to keep himself from staring. Even though he couldn't see, he felt Sirius sit up.
"How deep do you reckon the lake is, Moony?" he asked.
Remus's nose scrunched up as he thought. "Pads, I haven't the slightest clue. Hundreds of feet deep, most likely. You did want to walk around it, correct?"
"That is correct, O wise and most reasonable of men." Sirius stood, and Remus opened his eyes once more, holding a hand up to shield them from the sunlight. "And if I might be permitted to help you to your feet...?"
"You may," Remus said, chuckling, and took the hand that was offered. His own fingers tingled. Sirius held the contact only for as long as it took to pull Remus up, and then shoved both of his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers. He led the way as they began to walk towards the water.
The entire circle around the lake was too long for them to actually walk the whole thing; the other side of the lake wasn't even visible from where they stood. But Sirius had often referred to merely walking back and forth along the edge of the lake as walking "around" it, so that was what they did. For several back and forths, they walked in silence. Remus, to his dismay, found himself contemplating what might happen if he were to confess to Sirius right now. He couldn't help himself; he imagined scenario after scenario, each more far-fetched and ridiculous than the one before it. Entirely caught up in his daydreams, he started when he heard Sirius say his name.
"Remus? Reeeemus? Are you alive in there?" Sirius was waving a hand in front of the werewolf's face, his grey eyes concerned.
Remus's head snapped up and he halted in his tracks. He and Sirius stared at each other, each waiting for the other to say something. Remus blinked once, twice.
"Huh?" he finally managed to say.
Sirius smirked. "He's alive!" he shouted jubilantly. "Did you hear that, Tree? Robin? Lake? Can you believe it? Moony lives!"
"Oh, shut it, you," Remus said, cuffing his friend lightly on the shoulder. He was embarrassed; yet again, he had been left speechless. He was still grinning, though – a fact that didn't escape Sirius's notice.
"Sorry," Sirius said, without sounding the least bit repentant. "It's just that I tried to ask you a question and you didn't even look up. It was kind of eerie."
Remus could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks. "What did you ask me?"
"If you think we'll ever be able to convince Prongs to do a prank again," Sirius repeated.
"Oh. I'm not really sure. It doesn't seem very likely at this point."
"But that's bad," Sirius moaned. "We have to figure out what our final prank at Hogwarts will be, and we can't do a final Marauder's prank without Prongs! We wouldn't be the Marauders!"
"A final prank?"
"Yeah, you know, like going out with a bang. It's out last year, and after all we've done, I think we deserve a spot in Hogwarts legend."
"You're thinking about this now?" Remus shook his head, laughing. "Padfoot, it's only October. We have months and months and, in fact, almost the whole school year ahead of us before graduation!"
"No harm in being prepared," Sirius shrugged.
Remus stared at him. "Now, if you could put that sort of attitude to work in regards to your homework..."
Sirius laughed loudly. Stooping, he picked up a small, abnormally round rock and threw it at the lake. He curved his arm in just the right way to make it skip. It bounced seven times, and landed at least twenty feet from the shore.
"So do you think we could get James in on an end-of -the-year prank?" he asked, still watching the ripples from his stone.
"We might have more luck with that than with your average, without-occasion affair," Remus said thoughtfully. "I reckon he would be a lot more interested in the prospect of a grand exit. We could probably persuade him."
"Good," said Sirius. He made to start walking again, and then froze, looking out at the water again. "We've got company," he announced, smiling. "Look."
Remus followed his gaze to the middle of the lake, and he saw what his companion meant immediately. The giant squid was swimming towards the shore, its head poking up above the water to greet them.
Sirius waved at it. After glancing around quickly, he dropped to his hand and knees and started to crawl, picking up small rocks and twigs, building a collection. As soon as Remus realized what his companion was doing, he laughed and knelt as well to help him. Soon they had a small pile assembled on the ground at their feet. Then Sirius began to pick up one item at a time and throw them at the squid, aiming for its head. To Remus's amusement, the squid seemed to be playing a game with them; it ducked whenever a stick came its way, but hit the rocks with its tentacles, which sent them flying back towards shore and made it the boys' turn to duck.
The game continued for some time until the squid appeared to get bored and swam away. The two boys looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Remus dropped the last of the sticks he had been holding.
"We probably ought to head back," he said reluctantly. "I'm guessing that it's almost time for Charms by now."
"Oh, school!" Sirius sighed heavily. "The bane of my existence! Do you know, I think that someday I just won't show up to class at all. That would be immensely satisfying."
Remus shook his head. "One would think you would be more eager to be educated. For someone so eternally curious, you whine about class much more than you ought." Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but he was cut off by a raised hand from Remus. "And we will not discuss this any more right now, because if we do, we'll never make it to class on time."
"Right," Sirius said with a smile. "Let us depart, then."
He led the way back to the castle, whistling to himself the whole way. Remus didn't bother to ask what the tune was; he knew, from asking many times before, that Sirius never whistled a specific song, only whatever popped into his head. Instead he simply listened, enjoying being in Sirius's company.
When they arrived at the common room, James was there to meet them. "Greetings, my fellow Marauders!" he called. "And where, pray tell, have you been all afternoon?"
"At the lake," replied Sirius. "Did you know that the giant squid likes rocks?"
James blinked, looking owlish behind his glasses. "I had no idea," he said dryly. He looked over at Remus, who simply shrugged.
"Well it does," Sirius continued. "I think I'm going to name it Justine."
"I thought you named it Harold," James asked, his brow furrowing.
"He did," said Remus. "It was called Harold in third year and Delia in fifth."
"Oh?" Sirius said, a small degree of shock to his voice. "I think you might be right." He frowned for a moment, as if trying to recall a memory long since forgotten. Then he continued on enthusiastically. "That may have been the case before, but after spending the afternoon with it, I really think Justine would be much more appropriate. Slightly prissy; rather regal; a bit playful, maybe. Don't you agree, Moony?"
"I have no comment."
"Pads, maybe you ought to make up your mind about whether it's male or female first," James suggested.
"And maybe we ought to head down to the Charms classroom before we run late," Remus said before Sirius could answer. The two other boys agreed, and they all gathered their things and left Gryffindor tower.
When Remus arrived at the library later that night, he found Lily at a table near the back. She was staring out of the window next to her, her fingers tapping absently on the tabletop as she did so. As Remus approached, she heard his footsteps and turned around.
"Remus! You showed!" she cried, sounding elated.
"Only because I knew that if I didn't, you would hunt me down and hurt me," Remus told her. She shrugged in agreement.
"So here's the collection." She turned to wave her hands at the accumulation of books on the table in front of her. Remus stared at them apprehensively.
"Do you actually intend to read all of those?"
"With your help, of course."
"Oh, God." Remus dropped his head into his hands. "Why am I here?"
"Because you didn't want to be hexed all the way to next Thursday," Lily reminded him. Then, as if she were afraid that he might change his mind if given the opportunity, she stood up, placed her hands on his shoulders, and gently forced him to sit down on the chair across from hers. He complied without a struggle.
"Alright, you start with these-" she said, indicating one pile of books, "-and I'll start with these. Together we should be done by curfew."
"Lovely," Remus drawled. "Absolutely brilliant. And what am I supposed to be reading in search of?"
"Oh, I don't know. Anything that inspires you." Lily lifted the first book off of her pile and flipped it open.
"Anything that inspires me," Remus echoed. He copied the redhead and picked up the first book from his own pile. "Somehow I feel like we're going to be looking for long, long time."
"Would you shut it already?" Lily snapped. "Just think of this as a learning experience. You could at least attempt to muster some enthusiasm."
Remus tried. He really did. But the whole thing seemed like the most monumental waste of time imaginable. Not to mention, the spells, charms, and incantations described in the books were absolutely ridiculous. After scanning pages and pages of useless information, Remus groaned and collapsed onto the binding of A Muggle's Guide to Love in the Magical World.
"Lily, this is preposterous!" he cried. "Reading this stuff makes me feel like a thirteen-year-old witch, which is impressive in itself, since I never was one in the first place!"
Lily rolled her eyes and exhaled heavily. "Here, Remus, look at this." She moved her chair over next to his and placed a large, ornately bound book on the table before him. "This might be useful. 'One surefire way to get a positive reaction from the object of your affections is to sing them a love song. Here are several charms that you can use to make your voice sound dreamy and romantic–'"
"No."
"Okay, what about this: 'Looking to capture the affections of a lucky someone? Find the perfect gift using this helpful charm; it uses the personality of the person in question to lead you to the perfect present.'"
"No, Lily."
"Fine," the redhead huffed. "How about this then? 'If you want to tell someone you love them but are terrified of rejection, use this highly effective spell in advance – it will tell you precisely what the person feels about you at that exact moment!' Wow, this is the most brilliant one I've seen all– Oh wait. It says there's a twenty percent margin of error. Blast."
Remus ran a hand through his hair in irritation. "Lily, this is moronic. How is any of this supposed to help me?"
"Where's your scholarly spirit?" Lily responded. "You'll never know if you don't look. Somewhere in all of these books there's got to be something useful!"
"I wouldn't be too sure," Remus mumbled. Then he sighed. "Lil, can I please go back to the tower? I've been here for hours, and I have a suspicion that my presence here won't make your research progress any faster."
Lily opened her mouth, and then closed it again. "You're probably right. Go on, if you must. I won't harass you about helping me any more. At least, I'll try not to." She grinned. "But keep in mind, that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop."
"Believe me, I wasn't expecting it." Remus stood up, looking back at the redhead cautiously. "Just don't stay up too late, alright? If you don't get enough sleep, you're much quicker to lose your temper. My love life isn't worth it."
Lily just shook her head, smiling. "If I come across anything helpful, I'll be sure to let you know."
"Right." The werewolf started to walk away, and then froze and turned back. "Oh, and please try to spend some time with other people too. James, in particular. You know he worries about you."
Now Lily laughed. "Are you actually going to leave, then, or would you prefer to stay?"
"I'm leaving," said Remus quickly. He departed at a brisk trot.
On his walk back to Gryffindor tower, Remus contemplated Lily's obstinacy. It seemed to him that she was always the happiest when she had a goal, something she was trying to do or learn or discover. Whatever it was would become somewhat of an obsession for her until she accomplished it. The last goal had been figuring out where Remus went every month, and why he did so; it only took her about a week of almost constant study to piece everything together. The goal before that had been to figure out the origins of the Marauders' nicknames, and the one before that had been to figure out what the Marauder's Map was and how it worked. Lily was one of the most intelligent people Remus had ever met, and if she set her mind to something, she usually ended up achieving it.
Maybe he ought to just tell Sirius how he felt. It couldn't be that difficult, could it? And if he said something now, he would save everyone so much trouble: Lily wouldn't have to kill herself trying to find helpful spells; he himself wouldn't have to fret about someone catching on; James wouldn't have to die when Remus killed him for one meaningful look too many. It would be really nice to have everything out in the open, to not have to hide anything anymore... But no. The more Remus thought, the more he knew that he couldn't do it. He was sure that he would rather jump off the astronomy tower than return to the common room and ask Sirius for a private conversation. Just the thought made him shudder. What would he do if Sirius rejected him? No, when Sirius rejected him. He couldn't imagine Sirius – silly, wonderful, beautiful Sirius – ever liking him back.
Dejected, Remus climbed through the portrait hole and made his way up to his dorm. He was rather thankful that Sirius and James had Quidditch practice tonight. Peter had probably gone with them to watch, and that meant that he had the room all to himself for at least a little while. That was surely enough time to organize his thoughts and calm himself down enough to appear normal. The last thing he needed was Sirius asking more questions.
Remus was utterly exhausted. He suspected that he'd gotten three hours of sleep the night before, at most. The entire night he had lain awake, listening to his roommates breathing (and Peter's light snoring) and wondering what to do about Sirius. Whenever he did manage to fall asleep – which was only for short amounts of time – he had horrid nightmares in which Lily spiked his morning orange juice with Veritaserum to make him confess his love to Sirius. He knew that the redhead would never do anything so extreme, but the nightmares felt so real that he woke up ready to shriek. Towards the end of the night, he gave up on the idea of trying to sleep and simply sat up in bed, reading his vampire book by wand-light.
The result was that he practically slept through Ancient Runes. Lily seemed to sense that he was under some stress, and she let him doze, only poking him in the side whenever the professor wrote anything on the board that required being copied down. The rest of the Marauders, upon seeing his condition when he trudged into Transfiguration, helped him as much as they could. They almost got caught when Professor McGonagall called on Remus, asking him to read a part of his notes to the class. Sirius's knowledge of a useful charm that could mimic handwriting saved them, but just barely. After that, Remus forced himself to focus enough to at least take down his own notes.
In Remus's mind, lunch was a respite from hard labor. Bleary-eyed, he followed his companions into the Great Hall and took his normal seat next to Sirius. There he was able to lay his head on the table and let his mind go blank. It was absolute and utter bliss.
The only one to notice that he hadn't actually fallen asleep was Lily. "Why don't you take a nap?" she suggested. She had taken his advice after all and had joined the Marauders for lunch. James was sitting next to her, his arm around her waist and a goofy grin on his face.
"Because if I sleep during the day, it'll only mess up my sleep schedule even more," Remus told her. The rest of the Marauders jumped when they heard his voice, having all believed him to be dozing.
"So you're purposefully trying to stay awake, then?" Sirius asked, leaning over the pitcher of pumpkin juice to look at him. There was a sly hint to his tone that Remus did not entirely trust.
"Yes?" he replied hesitantly, turning the word into a question.
"I see," said Sirius thoughtfully. He stared down at the plate of food in front of him for a moment, and when he looked up again, his expression was determined. "Well then, as a fellow Marauder, I declare it my duty to ensure that you remain alert for as long as you wish. I will do everything in my power to keep you awake, my dear Moony."
"I'm not entirely sure that I want your help, Padfoot," Remus replied. Sirius looked crestfallen.
"Why not?"
"Because last time you tried to keep me from falling asleep, your solution was to charm a piece of my clothing into a popinjay every time my head started to droop."
Sirius ducked his head, trying to cover up his laughter. "It worked, didn't it?"
"Yeah, until Professor Binns noticed that there were birds flying around the ceiling of his classroom," James interjected, grinning widely. "Threw him for a loop, that did. I don't reckon he even noticed that Moony was half-naked."
"He was only missing his shoes, his socks, and his shirt," Peter pointed out from Remus's left.
"Exactly," said James. "Half-naked."
"You have to admit, though: the fact that Binns spotted the birds was impressive enough," Lily said sensibly. "Asking him to notice Remus's lack of clothing as well would have been too much to expect."
"True," James and Peter agreed simultaneously. Lily began to run her fingers through James's hair, and he tilted his head to give her better access.
"As amusing as that story may be," said Remus, trying desperately to get the discussion away from his state of dress, "it does absolutely nothing to convince me that Sirius should be allowed to keep me awake. If anything, it does the exact opposite."
"Please, Moony?" Sirius turned the full force of his grey eyes on Remus. The werewolf marveled at the fact that even when he was half-dead with exhaustion, his pulse still picked up and his breath still hitched. He tried his best to look indifferent.
"Perhaps I might be persuaded to change my mind," he said slowly. "Possibly. Maybe. Don't get your hopes up."
Sirius smiled and Remus felt his heart stop. He glanced over to see James and Lily watching him. Lily wore a curious expression on her face, but James was grinning. He glanced over at Lily, and they raised their eyebrows at each other. Then James looked back to make sure he had Remus's attention and mouthed "how exactly will he be keeping you awake?" Remus barely resisted groaning. He thanked whoever was watching out for him that Sirius hadn't been looking in their direction.
Time passed much too slowly for Remus's liking. During the rest of his afternoon classes, he wanted nothing more than to lay his head down on his desk and pass out. Somehow he managed to keep himself conscious. It might have had something to do with Sirius throwing things at him when the professor wasn't looking. Mostly he threw balled-up pieces of parchment; Remus suspected that by the time they were working on homework that night, he would have to loan some of his own parchment to Sirius. He also suspected that Sirius was doing it solely for kicks; anytime Remus looked up to glare at him, he would wave back and begin to snigger uncontrollably.
After dinner, Remus did his homework in a stupor. The common room was noisier than usual, but strangely, Remus used this to force himself into an almost trance-like state of focus. He surprised himself by completing almost all of his assignments. He was just starting on the reading for Herbology when Sirius, who had been talking to Frank Longbottom, came over and settled himself on the arm of his chair.
"Come out to the Quidditch pitch with me, Moony," he said.
Remus narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "Why should I?" he asked cautiously.
"Because you love me," replied Sirius simply. This was a very normal, Sirius-like thing to say, but it caught Remus entirely off guard. He choked, managing to turn it into a coughing fit just in time.
"You alright?" Sirius asked, with some concern.
"Yeah, fine," Remus said, not looking at him. Instead he watched a group of fifth year girls standing bickering at the stairway to the girls' dormitories.
"And I did promise to keep you awake, didn't I?" Sirius went on. "I reckon some fresh air and exercise would be good for you."
Remus gave his friend a skeptical look. "No one else will go with you, will they?"
"Moony, how can you assume such a thing! I came here with the express purpose of asking you to come with me!" Remus continued to gaze at Sirius, who shifted in his seat. "I did! Okay, I might have asked James first, but I was going to ask you too, regardless of what he said. I'm not asking you because he said no!"
Remus laughed and stood up, stretching. "You are completely absurd, you know."
"So you have told me many a time," said Sirius forlornly. "Will you go with me anyway?"
"Of course I will," said Remus. Sirius whooped, grabbed him by the arm, and led him from the common room.
Compared with the racket in Gryffindor tower, the quiet outside was almost overwhelming. Remus felt the urge to take Sirius's hand in his; it made his fingers itch until he had to shove them determinedly into his pockets. They reached the Quidditch pitch fairly quickly. No one else was there, and Sirius walked directly into the middle of it and began to spin in a circle, his arms outstretched. Remus smiled. Walking over to the stands, he sat down in the front row to watch. Sirius continued for only a minute or so, then spun a few times in the opposite direction to fight off the disorientation. As soon as the dizziness wore off, he walked over to join Remus.
"This reminds me of summer," Remus said, as soon as Sirius was close enough to hear him. "When you and James built your own Quidditch pitch in the Potters' backyard."
"Oh yeah!" Sirius exclaimed. "We used to play at least once a day. You always lost."
"You knew I wasn't good at Quidditch, but you made me play anyway," Remus defended. Sirius shrugged.
"We always had fun, though, didn't we?"
"Yes, we did."
"You remember when we used to race each other through James's house when his mum wasn't home?" Sirius asked.
"How could I forget? If you recall, Mr. Potter caught us once. He had come home from the Ministry early."
"And he just smiled that weird, little half-smile of his and went on his way," Sirius said fondly, making Remus chuckle.
"That was the night when we told Mrs. Potter we were going to sleep in the backyard and we actually stayed up to see the sunrise."
"And Pete fell asleep sitting up in that old apple tree," Sirius recalled, grinning. "That was one of my favorites."
"Mine too," said Remus. He had realized that he was in love with Sirius that night. It made him pleased to hear that Sirius remembered the occasion, and warmly at that.
Sighing, Remus looked up at the sky, studying the clouds. They seemed to erupt from the ground like enormous clouds of smoke, billowing higher and higher into the atmosphere. He watched their movement and it reminded him of Sirius's obsession with flying – the clouds looked as though they were traveling endlessly upward. Then he felt eyes on him, and he turned his head to see Sirius watching him intently. They stared at each other for one endless moment, and Remus's breath stopped.
The words slipped out of his mouth before Remus even realized he was going to say them. "What are you thinking?" he asked softly.
Sirius started, shaking his head slightly and blinking. "Nothing, really," he said. Then he hesitated. "Would you go flying with me?"
"But Sirius," said Remus. "I don't have a broom."
"You can use James's," Sirius told him, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's in the shed, along with mine. He won't mind."
"I suppose I ought to, then" said Remus, sighing exaggeratedly. "I did agree to come down to the Quidditch pitch with you, after all. It only follows that I was inadvertently agreeing to go flying as well."
"Yay!" Sirius cheered, and he ran to the shed to get the broomsticks.
The two boys flew loops around the pitch for a while, and then took to racing each other across the field. The sun had started to set while they flew, and it shone gold amidst the mountainous clouds, turning them pink and orange and purple. Sirius hovered in mid-air to watch, and Remus, who was on the opposite side of the field, flew over to join him.
"It's gorgeous," the black-haired boy breathed.
"I must admit, it is very impressive," said Remus, smiling. "However, considering that it will be completely dark in about half an hour, we probably ought to think about heading back to the tower soon."
Sirius gave him an exasperated look. "Can't you just enjoy the beauty of a sunset?" he asked jokingly.
"Alas, I cannot," drawled Remus. "I am a grumpy old codger who cannot find joy in anything. See? I'm already about this close to getting grey hairs." He grabbed a handful of hair and held it up for Sirius to examine.
"Oh, stop whining, Moony," Sirius said. "You'd still be adorable, even with a few greys."
Trying to ignore the sputtering in his chest, Remus looked at Sirius and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"What?" Sirius asked. "You don't believe me? Am I not trustworthy enough for you? I assure you, I am about as trustworthy as trustworthy can be. In fact, I am the epitome of trustworthy. If you need someone to tell you the truth, I'm the bloke you come to. Got that? You come to me!"
Remus raised his eyebrow even more. Sirius responded by pulling faces at the blond, and soon Remus was reduced to helpless laughter. This went on for several minutes, until they heard a light cough on the ground below them. Lily's friend Alice was standing there, her hands clasped behind her back, looking decidedly awkward. Sirius and Remus exchanged glances and flew down to meet her.
"Hi, Remus, Sirius," Alice greeted them as soon as they'd landed.
"Hello, Alice," Remus replied. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm fine," she said brightly. "You?"
"I'm well. What's going on?"
"Nothing, really." Alice bit her lip, the uncomfortable look returning to her face. She took a deep breath. "I'm here because of Lily."
Remus frowned. "Did something happen?"
"Well, no," Alice hedged. "Okay, she wanted me to come find you and tell you that-" her voice took on an exasperated tone, making it clear that she was quoting the redhead, "'-she knows she said she wouldn't bother you again, but she found some really good stuff, and she wants you to come down the library as soon as you can, even if you are hanging out with Sirius.'"
Remus glanced over at Sirius to see how he reacted to the last part of the message; he was staring at Alice in blatant confusion, his head cocked to one side, his brow furrowed. Remus cursed his luck.
"I'm sorry, Alice," he told the brown-haired girl; she clearly didn't like having to pass messages. "Would you be so kind as to tell Lily that I politely decline?"
"Sure thing," Alice said, smiling. "I told her you would, but she didn't listen to me."
"I'm not surprised," Remus said dryly. Alice giggled.
"Right," she said, suddenly businesslike. "You two seem busy, so I guess ought to leave you, yeah? Have fun!"
She practically skipped off of the Quidditch pitch, and this time Remus and Sirius both stared after her in confusion.
"Does she know something we don't?" Sirius asked at last.
"I have no idea," said Remus. In truth, he had a slight inkling as to what Alice had meant, and he was sincerely glad that Sirius was oblivious.
"Well," said Sirius, stretching his arms over his head, "it's probably late enough to let you fall asleep now, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," Remus agreed. Sirius returned the two broomsticks to the shed where he had found them, and the two boys tromped back to the Gryffindor common room, each too deep in thought to notice that the other wasn't speaking either.
A/N: Oh my goodness, I read the prequel last night and it was amazing!! All of you should go read it right now. www(dot)waterstoneswys(dot)com. Go there. Click on "read our authors' stories" and then click on JK Rowling. Holy crap, I was in shock. That woman's brilliance is clearly a thing to be marveled at.
Anyway, same drill as last time. Please leave me a review if you spot any mistakes! Heck, please leave me a review anyway! I walk around with an insane grin on my face for hours every time I get a review. It's rather amusing.
Oh, and...
Disclaimer numer duo: I do not own anything that I quoted from LotR, although sometimes I wish I did.
