Thank you to all the people who took interest in this story. The feedback was very much appreciated.
This chapter is slightly less… morbid.
I hope you enjoy. Please do review.
x-x-x
"Jace we really need to go." Isabelle pleaded with him. He broke away from his tight embrace with Clary and turned towards his adoptive sister. She was stood in battle stance, eyes wide scanning their surroundings. "If anyone were to know what we did tonight…" She didn't finish. She didn't need to.
"You're right." Jace replied "it's not safe here, especially not for your boyfriend here.' He waved a hand toward Meliorn who promptly thanked him, along with Clary, for saving him.
"I hate to break up this love fest, but we really need to get out of here." Isabelle's voice was sharp, leaving no room for discussion.
"Right, Iz, we got it. Let's just get out of-" Jace was cut off by a sharp pain exploding from his lower abdomen. He surged to the right, wincing in pain.
"Jace, oh my God!" Clary exclaimed, rushing to his side.
"What's wrong?" Isabelle's voice held a wary tone. "What's going on?" she demanded as another stab of pain radiated through his body. Jace couldn't function, let alone answer. Honestly, even if he could answer, he wouldn't know what to say. He had no idea what was happening. Nothing like this, no demon bite, no poison, no rune, had ever made him feel like this before.
He groaned in pain and ripped his shirt and jacket off, striving to become comfortable and find out what the source of his distress was. Uncomfortable was an understatement. Jace was in so much pain. It felt as though a Greater Demon had just stabbed his abdomen, twisting their spiked tail inside his body tauntingly. Except this was about ten times worse. As the black material fell from his shoulders, all eyes were glued to his Parabatai rune. It was bleeding. Not just bleeding, but fading. That brilliant opaque rune that had adorned his lower abdomen since he was a child was fading from a dark black into a dull grey.
Then, like a wave crashing upon the sand, it hit him square in the face.
Alec.
Isabelle's eyes went wide; she must have realized it too. If the rune was fading, then Alec was dying. Or perhaps something much worse.
Jace shivered reluctantly, he didn't want to think about that, he never wanted to imagine a world without Alec there. But it was far too late for imagining.
"What did you do?" Isabelle demanded "By the Angel Jace Wayland, What the hell did you do?" Before Jace could process what was happening, Isabelle was running towards the entrance to the City of Bones, where Jace had last seen Alec.
"What's going on? I don't understand." Clary's voice rang out into the night sky.
"I told you before, that Alec and I are more than brothers, that we were connected by something more than just friendship." Every word he managed sent another wave of pain through his body.
"Yeah, I remember, you said you were pepperoni or something. Why does that matter now? Can you please just tell me what the Hell is going on?" she became impatient.
"Parabatai." Jace corrected "It means that this," he gestured towards his now faded rune coated in his blood, "connects our souls. That's why I was bleeding, that's where Izzy went. To find Alec, That's the only explanation as to how this rune could have faded. Nothing but death can break the bond." Jace finished looking down.
"Oh," was all Clary supplied. Jace would have laughed had he not remembered Alec and his current predicament. Regaining his breath and strength from the pain he was in earlier, he bolted after his sister.
x-x-x
The sight before Jace almost made him vomit. Tears gathered in his eyes, which he quickly wiped away with the back of his hand. Isabelle was hunched over Alec, or at least, Alec's body, his wrists mutilated. In her hands was a sheet of paper that was slightly crumpled. Her sobs racked through her body, echoing against the walls, sputtering into the nothingness of the midnight New York air. Clary's steps pattered behind him, coming to an abrupt stop next to him.
Her eyes were fixated on the sight before her. "Oh God…"she muttered. Isabelle lifted her head, tears staining her cheeks. The look on her face read as if she wanted to murder Jace and Clary where they stood. Jace would have let her.
"This is your fault." Her voice held a dangerous silence. Jace was confused. More than that, he was angry. Alec was gone, and here Isabelle was making accusations.
"How is this our fault?" Clary asked, not angrily, like Jace would have, but genuine curiosity. Isabelle said nothing, just flicked her hand up, presenting them with the piece of paper she had been clutching earlier. Clary stepped forward, tentatively taking the paper form Isabelle's hands. They were both trying to ignore Isabelle's death stare.
Jace couldn't move. He tried to muster up anything. One step, one word, something. But he couldn't his eyes were glued on Alec.
Alec was gone.
He was lying face up, his eyes glossy, his wrist bloody, and beside him lay his dagger covered in blood. Jace tried to look away, but he just couldn't. It was like he had convinced himself that if he stared long enough at Alec's lifeless body, it wouldn't be so lifeless anymore.
It didn't work.
"Oh god…" Clary's voice was finally the thing that snapped his gaze from his lifeless Parabatai. Her eyes roamed over the paper, tears threatening to spill and tumble over her cheeks. Just like Jace. "Jace I- you- this isn't- I'm sorry," was what she finally settled on. His eyes moved to the paper in the red head's hands. There was something written on it. Alec's writing, his mind reminded him. Jace shook his head, not wanting to read of all the reasons Alec decided to take his life.
Isabelle scoffed "too afraid to see what Alec had to say about you? Well, let me tell you, it's none too pretty. But sometimes, the truth hurts." She said coldly.
"What are we going to do, Jace?" Clary's voice was faint, and Jace could tell she was crying.
"What do we do?" Isabelle repeated, standing from her previous position hunched over Alec, "We tell our parents for one thing." She started, snatching Alec's note from Clary's hand. "And we give them this. They are not entirely innocent either." She sounded powerful, but Jace could tell that she was just trying to mask her pain. Isabelle turned back to Alec, and after pressing a kiss against his forehead, whispered "I love you, Big Brother," to him, and stalked back toward the Institute, Alec's note in hand.
Jace was still frozen. He couldn't speak.
How did they end up here?
How could this have been his fault?
He breathed deeply and conjured up all the energy he could. He turned, and numbly wandered back towards the Institute, Clary on his heels.
x-x-x
Isabelle didn't know how to feel.
On one hand, she was sad. She was more than sad, she was devastated. She didn't want to live in a world without Alec's smiles, or his laugh, or his skill.
She didn't know how.
Alec had always been there. Ever since she was born, he was by her side. He was her big brother, and she didn't know how she would ever accept that she didn't have one anymore.
On the other hand, she was angry. At whom exactly, she wasn't sure. At Alec, for giving up; at Jace, for abandoning him for Clary; at Clary, for making Jace choose between her and Alec, knowing full well that she was lucky enough for Alec to help her even once; Isabell didn't know if she would ever forgive Clary for that.
But most of all, Isabelle was angry with herself, for not being there for Alec; for not being able to see that he was struggling.
Her parents reacted the way she had expected. To her, they seemed more upset about the fact that this – a suicide – would tarnish the family name further. Never mind that they had just lost their eldest son. They were solders. That was the excuse they gave every time they appeared inhuman. They thought emotions were weakness.
To Isabelle, being a solder didn't mean that they couldn't also be human. But her parents were never too fond of coexistence.
x-x-x
Jace was numb.
He couldn't remember a time before Alec; or, at least, a time without Alec that he wanted to remember. Jace was slightly regretting not reading Alec's note. He was full aware that the note contained some things that Jace didn't necessarily want to hear – especially not from Alec – but this was the last thing Alec wanted the world to know. And now, it always will be.
He hadn't spoken to anyone in days. Not that Clary hadn't tried to get him to unlock his door, but Jace had sent her away, suppling her with nothing but one word responses. Eventually, she had given up. And Isabelle would probably murder him the next time she saw him. She was right. It was his fault.
A crash originating from Jace's room sounded across the entire institute, echoing against the ghostly walls.
x-x-x
"Isabelle?" Max's voice was quiet, he eyed his elder sister. Never before had he seen her so distraught.
"What is it, Max?" her voice was breathy and Max didn't need to be a genius to know that Isabelle had been crying.
"Is it t-true?" he wondered "what they're saying, I mean. Is Alec – is he not coming home?"
Isabelle scoffed. "So is that what Jace told you?" her voice, despite the chuckle, was anything but humorous. "I guess he wasn't lying, but," she paused. "Max, I know a lot of people think you're too young to know about all the "big people" problems, but this is something that you're going to have to know about eventually." Max looked proud. Never before had anyone ever considered him old enough to know about, well, anything about Lightwood family politics.
"You can tell me, I can handle it." Max said confidently. Isabelle gave a sad smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Max, maybe you should sit down for this." She grabbed him by the waist and settled him on her lap, just like Alec used to when they were younger. She sighed deeply before speaking again "Max, Alec is-" she chocked back a sob. "Alec is dead." She turned her head away from her little brother's stare. His eyes glossed over with tears.
Over the years his eyes had become darker. His irises now a darker icy blue
Blue. Just like Alec.
x-x-x
Alec's letter sat at the bottom of Maryse's desk drawer. It was slightly crumpled, the lettering seemingly sloppy. Jace had finally mustered enough courage to read the letter, but he was rapidly losing his nerve. The famous Jace Wayland, finally hesitant. But he knew he had to do this. If not for himself, then for Alec. With a shaking hand, Jace unfolded the paper.
He skimmed over the parts of the letter that he honestly didn't have the nerve to read. Things about the Lightwood parents, the Clave, both things Jace never knew Alec was struggling so hard to keep happy. Alec apologized to Isabelle and Max about a thousand times. But nothing about Jace; that is until he turned the page over. Jace's breath caught in his throat, but he read on. He owed this much to Alec.
x-x-x
I realize now Jace just keeps taking and taking and taking, throwing around the word Parabatai, never willing to give anything in return.
Jace, you just keep demanding for me to give you more.
But the thing is, I can't.
I fail to see how this is a partnership. I gave up everything for you and your girlfriend, who you met just days ago, yet trusted and sided with over the better word of your Parabatai. I am sick of trying to live up to all the things you expect from me.
It is clear to me now that you never really did care about me. For almost ten years, I was able to trick myself into thinking that maybe you actually did care about something other than yourself, that maybe you cared about me. These last few days with Clary proved otherwise.
Goodbye, Jace Wayland.
Jace couldn't think. This is what Alec thought of him. This was the last thing Alec would ever think of him. As a selfish, reckless douche who was so desperate to get laid that he abandoned his own brother. When Jace really thought about it, maybe that really was all he is.
x-x-x
Ever since I was a child, I was taught to pour myself into everything that I did. So that is exactly what I did. I poured, and poured and poured until there was absolutely nothing left for me to give, and now people ask me why I'm so empty.
At least now, I am finally in control.
With hope at last,
Alexander Gideon Lightwood.
x-x-x
And that's it. This two-shot is finished. I hope you enjoy it, even if it was a little short. Please do review, it makes my day, and I read and appreciate every single one.
Honestly, I liked the last chapter a little better, but I wanted Jace to feel the guilt and consequence of his actions and choices.
Thanks for the support. A new chapter of "I Choose War" is, surprisingly, actually in the works; after an, almost, eight month hiatus. Sorry about the wait.
Love, Always,
If-x-you-x-knew.
