A/N: Yes, I know it's a very short update. There probably won't be any more of this story, as inspiration has simply dried up, but I found this bit of it while procrastinating on my Hebrew homework and thought some of you out there might enjoy it. I thought it was funny, anyway. :P No cliffhangers, I promise…
To: Harry Potter
The Largest Bedroom On The Second Floor
12 Grimmauld Place
London
Dear Noble Git,
Yes, I realize I just saw you four hours ago. Thought you might like to know what went on at dinner once I got back, though…
"Merlin's—bloody—pants!" Ron winced as Hermione hurled her soup spoon to the table, fed up with the way the uncontrollable shaking of her left hand made it impossible for her to keep anything on the spoon. The Calming Draught, alas, had worn off ages ago.
"D'you want me to—"
"No!" she snapped. "I do not need to be spoon-fed like a six-month-old!"
Ginny slid into the bench opposite them, raising her eyebrows at Hermione's thunderous expression. "All right, Hermione?"
Grimly Hermione wrenched her anger under control. She wasn't about to throw a tantrum like a six-month-old, either. "I'm fine," she said stubbornly, and awkwardly wrapped her good fingers around the spoon to give it another go. Of all nights for the house elves to put nothing but soup on the dinner menu!
By dint of extraordinary concentration, she contrived to convey half a spoonful of chowder to its desired destination. The achievement made her feel as triumphant as if she'd just defeated a squadron of Death Eaters single-handedly with a joke wand and a box of Canary Creams.
"Where've you been?" she heard Ron ask Ginny as she focused on retrieving another mouthful of soup from the bowl.
"In Hogsmeade," was the diffident answer. "It was a Hogsmeade day, you know."
"Course I know," Ron mumbled. "Just forgot. What with everything."
Hermione felt a sudden burst of guilt for having been cross with Ron. It had been the last of the Hogsmeade weekends, the very last of their school careers, and he'd spent it watching her recover from a curse.
"Oh," Ginny added, turning to her, "Harry says to get better soon."
"I suppose he headed off to see Teddy, then," Ron mused. "Wondered why he didn't come on up to the castle with us."
Ginny shrugged noncommittally, but Hermione saw a glint of tired happiness in her friend's eyes that hadn't been there in a long time. Somehow, she got the feeling that Harry hadn't gone straight off to see Teddy. But she'd wait and ask after they were back in the girl's dormitory.
Right now, her soup was demanding her full and undivided attention. Grimly she dipped the quaking instrument into her chowder and watched it begin its treacherous ascent…almost…there…
Which was when Ron suddenly became aware of the large arachnid that had rappelled down from the ceiling, directly in front of his nose.
"Spiiiiideeeerrrrr!"
And with truly terrific reflexes befitting Gryffindor's star Keeper, the courageous Ronald Weasley threw himself wholesale to the side, flinging a curse across the table as he did so. The impact threw Hermione's spoonful of chowder directly up into her nose. She lurched forward, clutching at her face with her good hand, and due to the fact that her eyes were scrunched up against a flood of reflexive tears, she did not see her soup bowl in front of her.
Her large, nearly full, magically heated soup bowl, which had been perched as close to her as possible.
With a screech, snorting out chowder, she exploded out of her seat. Beside her Ron fell backwards off the bench, wildly firing curses at the air over the table where the spider swung lazily back and forth on its thread of silk, cheerfully dodging his efforts.
On the other side of the table, Ginny had not been so lucky as the spider. She fell off the bench with a shriek, hit simultaneously by a Bat-Bogey Hex and a Jelly-Legs Jinx. Nearby students dove under the House table, forgetting every aspect of Gryffindor bravery in their efforts to avoid Ron's maddened spellwork. A Confundus Charm soared over Neville and connected squarely with a little Hufflepuff, who spun around in complete distraction for a fateful moment before returning fire…into the Slytherin table.
No one could remember afterward when the Ravenclaws jumped into the fray. But by the time the Headmistress had regained control of the student body, the hospital wing boasted numerous representatives from every House.
Anyway, I hardly need add that Ron's in rather hot water. Made the mistake of laughing at Hermione all covered in chowder, too, so I imagine he shan't be making especially excellent marks for at least the rest of the week, since there's no way she'll let him copy her notes until he's groveled properly. Actually, I suppose Hermione shan't be taking any notes anyway. Although I wouldn't put it past her to learn to write left-handed by tomorrow morning.
Give Teddy a hug for me next time you see him, if you've already left that is. Oh, and could you ask Mum to send us a pudding or something for exams? She'll give you anything.
All my love,
Ginny
To: Mum
The Burrow
Ottery St. Catchpoole
Dear Mum,
I'm so excited! I got Harry all to myself in Hogsmeade this weekend, finally! You were right, after all. But why has he got to be such a noble git all the time? Oh, don't worry, it's not as though we did anything, just talked awhile, that's all. It was very nice, even if the Shrieking Shack isn't terribly romantic scenery. Of course I had to positively drag him into it, never would've happened at all if Hermione hadn't got cursed. Honestly, how d'you ever get one of them to make a move on their own for once? The rate it's going I expect you've got to write them a script and set them a timetable before they'll think to propose!
Not that I expect we'll get married or anything. Although you know, his parents got married almost right out of Hogwarts. I suppose you think that's much too young. I guess Harry does too, really. He said something about waiting to make sure I was ready. You know—after everything that happened last year.
Sometimes he's really a very sweet noble git.
Love,
Ginny
