Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki no matter how you look at it. I do own Ana no matter how you look at it. However, now that I look at it, I have to say it's no fair! Can't I have Saiyuki, too?
Reviews: Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? I've already been included into two C2s. And also, I've had 27 reviews from the first chapter alone. That in and of itself is amazing beyond belief. I've gotten reviews from 'A Seriously Messed-Up Series' when people saw this one and wanted to read the first (or at least, that's what I believe).
I'm not going to type out responses for all my reviews as they are so many and I really don't want to spend all the time on them. However, I can address key points, and list out thank yous to all those who have reviewed.
The Extra Manga: It will be showing up in this chapter.
Hazel and Gat: Yep, they'll be appearing.
Sanzo and Ana: They're going to be one crazy pair, I'll tell you that much. Between the fights and the violence that will sometimes occur between them, it's actually verging abusive. Of course, that just means the other fireworks will be that much more fun. Also, I'll try to have smoochies as much as I can, but you know how Sanzo's a very private individual. He hides from the spotlight no matter how hard I try and drag him in.
Being Texan: Because one reviewer (AmY-DyLaN-SoHiA-aNiKi) was spazzing so bad (in a very humorous way), yes, I'm Texan (actually eighth generation to be exact) and will be to the day I die because I don't think I'll ever leave permanently. I can't be without my humidity here on the coast. And, by the way, Gustav never bothered us at all. Feel sorry for the Louisianans though. But us, not a speck of rain.
Ana the Maid: That was such a random idea, it was hilarious when I did it. I was looking for someone to basically piss Sanzo off (Shan) and Ana to get in trouble (via Shan). When I was typing about Sanzo having servants, I realized 'What reason would Ana have for being there?' and put down 'maid' as it was better than 'Sanzo's sex toy' (no matter how much we might want it, the nice little Buddhists wouldn't) or 'slave'.
'Thank you' to you and you and you and...
Risu-san, Goku's elegy, DustBunnyQueen, SakuraEmma29, Sarkura, patriot16, shadowluzid, BlueStocking, tokidoki, fornicatedsin, White Raven, cheeky half-demon, ChibiPandaChan, silver-eyed, A Reviewer, blizardwolf1, nami, TFK-fan118, AmY-DyLaN-SoHiA-aNiKi, invisible-gurl, White Fire Alchemist, MikoAlchemist, Miorochi, TheDemonMistress, DevilGirl1995, kura-wolfgoddess, joycer22
To all returning: Welcome back.
To all those new: Welcome.
Chapter I: Ironic
Isn't it ironic?
Don't you think?
It's like rain
On your wedding day
It's a free ride
When you've already paid
It's the good advice
That you just didn't take
But who would have thought
It figured…?
Alanis Morisette
Sanzo was pissed. Beyond pissed. Ana was flirting with some guy from this town like she wasn't even with him! Part of him knew that he was being a little over dramatic… but he resolutely ignored that part of him because he was almost one hundred percent sure that she was interested in that guy.
"Sanzo?" asked Goku, looking at the unusually tense priest. Save for Gojyo's teasing, Sanzo was probably just the slightest more relaxed now that he and Ana had decided to share… alone time. Gojyo was already trying to coax Goku and Hakkai into betting when exactly Sanzo would actually do the dirty if he hadn't already. He, as in Sanzo, had overheard the conversation and was very tempted to actually go and put a bullet through the kappa's head, like the cockroach fully deserved.
At least he had been kind enough not to inform Ana about Gojyo's attempts to bet on her sex life. Ana and Gojyo had to sit in the same back seat… and any tension between the two would give him a tension headache. Or rather, another tension headache. This journey was a headache and Goku was a headache, not to mention Gojyo was one and Hakkai was yet another.
"What?" grunted out the Sanzo priest as he turned away from the window as Ana entered the building.
"What's wrong?" asked the chimp, staring at the priest with worried eyes.
"None of your business," he spat.
Silence fell across the room and the seconds ticked by slowly before there was the sound of footsteps outside the door before they stopped and the door handle moved. The latch clicked and Sanzo found himself glaring at the door as it swung open to reveal a certain coffee-brown eyed young lady that had managed to worm her way into his heart despite all his best efforts to keep her out. He noted in a very worried manner that she had bandages on her palms, wrists, and forearms. Her short haired shifted into said eyes as she blinked at him, seeing his scowl, before frowning herself.
"What's wrong?" Ana asked, echoing Goku's earlier words.
"Goku. Out," ordered Sanzo, eyes remaining firmly fixed on Ana's as she shifted the hair out of her eyes with a bandaged hand. Said chimp jumped in surprise at being addressed so suddenly despite the fact there was no one focusing on him.
"Okay," said Goku, sulking slightly that he'd miss out on the show. He stepped out of the room and found himself very tempted to stay and listen to the conversation. He also knew that if Sanzo caught him doing such a thing, he'd get his ass beat from here to high Heaven with a detour through Hell just to ensure a scenic route. Goku even figured he might actually get shot. And not the near misses Sanzo usually entertained himself with.
But Goku, being a very, very brave young man, slipped into the room next door to the one that was figured to contain Ana and Sanzo and Hakkai for the night. The one he entered was actually his and Gojyo's room. He settled down next to the wall and pressed his ear to the barrier to catch all that would be said…
On the other side of the barrier, Ana and Sanzo were staring each other down. "Okay," she said finally. "Now that Goku is gone, is there something you'd like to tell me?" She came off sounding a bit haughty, which was a tone she winced at mentally.
"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" asked Sanzo in a very venomous tone.
"Not really, no," Ana said, folding her arms over her chest. "I'd prefer if we would get along without all the yelling and screaming and fucking Spanish Inquisitions when you perceive me doing something you think is wrong."
"And flirting with that bastard out there in front of the inn won't make me mad?" the priest hissed angrily. He was pleased to see her pale in shock and horror. "I suppose you know what I'm talking about?"
"Flirting?" she asked him, staring at him with wide eyes. "You thought I was flirting?" Her voice traveled up a couple of octaves as she went.
"Damn sure looked like it," Sanzo said to her, his violet eyes harder than diamond as he glared at her and folded his arms over his chest.
"Well, it wasn't," Ana told him flat out. "Some guy just comes up and starts… flirting." She couldn't come up with a better word and bit that one out rather sourly. "And I try to get him to back off and he just won't go away. He keeps coming with me no matter what I tell him not to do. I run into Hakkai and Gojyo as they were shopping together and Hakkai pretty much told me to handle it myself."
"What by yourself?" asked Sanzo in a dry tone.
"Getting rid of Shan. He did this after I fell on my freaking face after trying to chase after that bastard Gojyo when he made fun of me. Lucky me, it was my arms that took all the damage." So that was how her arms became bandaged. She had scraped them.
Sanzo stared at her and wished he could forgive her somehow… someway. Or at least shoot the bastard she had been talking to. But she had been… unfaithful… though that rational part was being very persistent at this point about her not being so.
"He gave you flowers."
"And I threw them away once I got inside," she said to him slowly. "Like I'd just throw them on the ground. He was already pretty shocked that I told him I had a boyfriend even though he insisted on coming with me back to the inn."
She wasn't cheating, then. And she was cleanly killing each of his arguments without probably realizing it.
"And on top of that, he told me that you were some great holy man wandering around and exterminating youkai and you had four attendants. One of which was not only a woman but a maid." She gritted her teeth at the word 'maid' and looked rather mad. "Idiot rumor mill." He raised an eyebrow. Ana looked at him with an annoyed expression. "Look, I can pretty much guess what's going on in that blonde head of yours. I wasn't cheating, flirting, or anything. I really was trying to get rid of him the entire time he was with me because… guess what? I knew if you saw him you'd want to shoot him. Or me. Depended who you were angrier at. And now that he's gotten me in trouble, I'm so tempted to hunt his ass down and kick the dog shit out of it because I told him if he got me in trouble, I'd get him for it."
As she continued her rant to herself, Sanzo relaxed slowly.
The next thing Ana knew, Sanzo had her pinned to his form and was kissing her on her lips with a needy passion. As per usual, she melted against him as one arm continued to support her and the other roamed slightly around her belly, thighs, and ass. Her own arms shifted to loop around his neck as she freed her lips from his to kiss around his mouth and on his jaw line with a series of butterfly kisses.
His supporting hand was rubbing circles in her back with the thumb and his other hand was completely interested in the place where her butt met her thigh, providing additional support to her as her own hands began to roam down his arms, massaging slightly as they went. His lips found hers once more and he was tempted to smirk at her breathlessness after he let them go a few seconds later. He fell to temptation and she stood there a couple of seconds looking slightly dazed before coming to and realizing what he did.
"Asshole," she muttered, forcing herself into a frown despite the fact she wanted to grin like a nut. The laughter must have shown in her eyes for the 'asshole' let his smirk grow bigger as he let her go.
"Brat," he told her as he turned away, leaving her wanting for more… and himself as well, dammit. Unfortunately, it was at that point Hakkai entered the room with a short couple of knocks and was followed by Gojyo. Their time together was cut short and the look on Hakkai's face said that he knew he had interrupted something as Sanzo gave him a rather pointed look and Ana looked annoyed herself.
"Ah, sorry," laughed the youkai. "We just got done with the shopping." He glanced at Ana, a questioning look in his eyes. "Ana-dono? Did you manage to take care of that… problem you had?"
She blinked at him, as did the others in confusion to what he meant, but her eyes lit up in understanding and she smiled. "Yep! Took a bit, but I got rid of him!" she chirped. "That whole mess brought on more trouble than he was worth ever."
"I see Sanzo found out," Hakkai said dryly, glancing at Sanzo.
The priest grunted in affirmation.
"Yes, and I was in the process of informing him he was wrong about what he thought when you guys came back," Ana continued. 'More like barged in,' she thought. But she didn't dare say it. Hakkai would gain a hurt puppy look that would make her feel incredibly guilty. Screw how Gojyo would feel.
"Rea-lly?" asked a curious Gojyo, the note in his voice of curiosity.
Then it went from controlled (sort of) to out of control. Goku ran back in and began chattering at the others and luckily distracting Gojyo from more pervert comments. Ana, amid all of this, discovered she wanted to introduce her head to a wall. Sanzo seemed of a different opinion as he looked like he wanted to forgo the self-mutilation and go straight to the other-people-mutilation.
"Will you bastards get out of this damn room?" growled the priest, silencing all conversation with pure murderous intent dripping in his voice. Ana would have been impressed months ago, but now she wasn't. Sanzo was just special like that. As in rode in the little yellow bus special… no, wait. That would be Goku that sometimes rode in the little yellow bus.
Sanzo was smarter than that.
Joking aside, the mood was ruined. And the end to any fun to be had.
As such… time moves on like a river, much to Ana's distaste.
And these four and one move on like a group of fight-seeking mongrels… wait… none of them are full blood to begin with, so I guess that particular statement is true. And Ana would protest that probably more fervently than having been interrupted by a group of men that seemed to delight in interrupting alone time between her and Sanzo.
Back to the story and away from Ana's feelings in which she would probably use to override this story.
Above, in the Heavens, Kanzeon Bosatsu looked down upon them while a woman sat next to hi-r on hi-r left with a laptop on her knee and behind them to hi-r right stood hi-r manservant, Jiroushin.
"So you finally began on the next part of their saga?" asked Kannon.
"It took some time, but yes, I am," replied the short-haired brunette sitting next to her as she furiously typed in words.
"Are you putting this conversation in there?" asked the god-dess, slightly incredulous. Jiroushin shook his head in disbelief, but kept silent.
"Yes," replied Khait simply. The god-dess sighed in exasperation. "What? Don't you like the stage, my friend?"
"Aren't they center stage?"
"Your nephew will come up soon enough. Now that I've said my piece, I'll be going, but not before I say my favorite line."
"Oh, and what's that?"
"Are you bastards ready yet?"
Kannon barked out a laugh. "Oh, yes!" Khait echoed her laughter even as she and her laptop faded from view. Hi-r laughter died down to a knowing smirk, tapping one long blood red nail against her cheek. "Indeed. After everything… Are you boys ready yet? Are you, Ana?"
On the earth approximately a week later, Ana blearily opened her eyes and sat up, experimentally shifting her shoulders when she felt something bind them unusually. The young woman either wore a tank or a giving tee shirt to allow movement in the bed, but for some reason the fabric on her shoulders felt stiffer and not very giving.
Her return to consciousness was made a lot faster when she heard a horrified scream that sounded a lot like Goku. Snapping awake fully, she hopped out of bed and into the hall, fixing her gaze on Goku and losing her voice at the sight of him and of Sanzo and Gojyo as well.
"Where's the fire, Goku?" asked Gojyo, looking surprised before everyone focused on each other and everyone turned sour looking, the fan on Sanzo's shoulder showing he was less than pleased and wanted to hit something.
"I woke up this morning and… and… I was dressed like this!" Goku said, gesturing at the getup. He, like everyone else, was wearing a cheesy looking snakeskin tuxedo coat paired with striped pants, a ruffled shirt, and an overly large bowtie printed with stars.
The only difference in their outfits was that Gojyo had polka dots on his bowtie, Sanzo had hearts on his bowtie, and Ana, she discovered as she looked down at herself, had stereotypical six-petal flowers on hers.
She considered it lucky they weren't wearing clown shoes.
She also considered it lucky that whoever did this hadn't actually stripped her of her sleeping clothes. She could feel the material still against her skin.
"Oh, my," came a voice from behind Sanzo, Gojyo, and Ana. "Everyone looks so wonderful." It was Hakkai and he was dressed the same as them save the bowtie had stripes running over it and his monocle had been replaced by a pair of swirly glasses that looked like the bottom of coke bottles. Immediately, they all knew who had done it. Him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" demanded Ana, balling her fists in her anger and a blush on her cheeks in embarrassment.
"Well… our other clothes were worn out from the trip. I thought that if we were to by new outfits, they should be more fitting of us." He chuckled. "Hence, the clown costumes," he finished. Gojyo's hand gripped the youkai's shoulder, anger in his posture and face.
"There are so many things I could say to that, but for now… Just spare me," begged Gojyo, not really wanting to pop the man for this.
"I also have some unitards that are easier to move in, if you'd like," offered Hakkai, glancing at Sanzo over his shoulder. The priest looked ominous even as he smacked his fan into his other palm.
"We are not performers," spat Sanzo. "Stop thinking of performers."
Behind him, Ana was chanting 'I hate clowns, I hate clowns, I hate clowns' over and over even as she struggled to unbutton the jacket. The pants were already gone and pooled at her feet, her sleeping shorts keeping her decent. Unfortunately, the bowtie was getting in her way.
"I'm sure you'll get used to it," Hakkai tried to placate. He saw Ana. "Ana-dono! You shouldn't do that right here in the hall!"
"Gimmie my old clothes, you evil clown person you!" snapped out Ana. "I'll take rags over this shit any day!"
"You should calm down. At this rate, you'll have a heart attack before you're thirty," Hakkai said, making 'calm down' motions.
"My family has no history of it! Not gonna happen! Gimme my clothes!"
"Hey," Goku said, pulling at the lapel. "Where'd he buy these things, anyway? Tokyu Hands?"
Gojyo, on the other hand, was watching as Ana basically half-stripped, half-cussed Hakkai out in the hall. 'While I appreciate the show, I think it would be better if he gave us back the old clothes. Ana seems scared of clowns.'
"Oh, fine…" sighed Hakkai in a mock-sad manner. "Here, then."
He handed each person a bag that had been tucked around a nearby corner and then told them to go on and change, keeping the last bag for himself.
A couple minutes later, they were all wearing much more decent clothes and checking themselves over.
"Finally…" sighed Ana in relief.
"We changed into something decent… Compared to the last shit," remarked Gojyo.
"Even though they're almost exactly the same as our old clothes!" laughed Hakkai.
Indeed, it was true. Goku kept his old arrangement on his upper half, but his khaki pants were replaced by blue jeans that turned ragged after a little bit after his knee. His boots remained the same, but the bracers on his arms had been replaced with black sweat bands. Hakkai also mostly kept to his old outfit, but the sleeves of his shirt were now short sleeves on the green tunic and long sleeves on the black shirt underneath. Ana had her same basic Mandarin collared shirt of sky blue, with sleeves going down to the middle of her upper arm – slits in the cloth to provide decoration and movement –, and white silk wraps neatly encasing her forearms and part of her palms, leaving her fingers free to wiggle. Her lower body now sported a pair of pale blue jean shorts with buttons down the front that were a little higher than half way down her upper leg and her legs were covered by similar wrappings on her shins and feet, covered by her sturdy brown leather hiking boots. Gojyo had changed the most as he was now sporting a pair of black jeans, white tee-shirt, brown leather jacket with a fuzzy black collar, a brown headband that bore no characters, and a pair of black boots.
Then Goku noticed Sanzo as Ana fiddled with the wraps on her arms, unused to the sensation. "Sanzo?" asked the chimp, "Ya didn't change at all!"
The priest merely looked at the monkey. "Of course I didn't," he said plainly. "These robes are the traditional uniform of a Sanzo Priest. I can't just change out of them, dimwit." With that, he turned on heel. "Now get your asses moving and let's go."
Having shifted like he did, the shoes he wore made an unfamiliar sound on the floor boards, which attracted the three backseaters' attention. Surprised, Ana asked aloud what the three of them thought. "Is that normal for Sanzos to wear boots?"
The five of them had encountered some problems in the next town they were in. Sanzo had been recognized and immediately everyone clamored to him, wanting the 'protection' him and his 'companions' would surely provide them. It had not only pissed Sanzo and company off… it drew the attention of nearby demons as well. The number was small as the settlement wasn't that dangerous or that ripe of a town to begin with, but it was more than they reasonably wanted to deal with.
So, after they had restocked, they moved on and the lot of them tried to devise ways to avoid the masses of people that just wanted Sanzo to care for them. After a while, Hakkai came up with the idea of cloaks and sunglasses.
Sanzo had naturally insulted the idea, saying it was way too obvious. Ana personally agreed with him up until the point that he stated that it would possibly work as most people wouldn't pay attention to the obvious and come up with weird ideas of what the 'truth' was. That was when she started vocally objecting.
At that point, Hakkai took a small detour and stopped well outside the town that was somewhat out of their way. The youkai, armed with a smile and the credit card, went on into town and purchased five khaki-gray cloaks and five pairs of sunglasses. All of which were quite cheap.
He came back and they moved on, Goku looking over the new purchases with glee and Gojyo having already slipped his shades on even though they were not required.
Ana eyed him. "You look like an idiot with those oversized bug shields on your face," she told him sourly, not exactly enjoying the prospect of having to wear the shades herself. They weren't fashionable at all… Just bits of black plastic with dark lenses and no kind of pleasing shape or decoration such as glittering silver-backed plastic to pretend gems. And she hated the looks of them and the cloaks.
"It isn't that hard for him to look like an idiot," came Sanzo from the front seat, not looking back.
"Oi!" protested Gojyo, rather hotly, at the both of them. "I object!"
"And I'm Judge Judy and I overrule you and charge you with contempt of the court. Take 'em off," Ana ordered him. Goku snickered at them and Hakkai grinned to the front. Everyone save her didn't understand the pop-culture reference, but they knew what happened in courts and got the meaning at least.
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Stop arguing and do it!" Ana snapped. "Or else I'll make you!" He leered at her as if to say 'I dare you'. The kappa was surprised to see she actually did… dare, that is. Her smallish hands – in comparison to his own – snatched at his shades and his larger hands blocked her attempts. The two of them wrestled for control in the back seat though neither dared to lift themselves out of the seats for fear of losing their balance and falling out of the car. It was a contest of hands only, and Goku rooted for Ana while Sanzo started losing what little control he had over his temper.
Finally, Ana's fingers wrapped around one lens of the shades and she managed to half pull them off before he managed to shove them back on, accidentally poking himself in the eye in the process.
"Ow!" he yelped, releasing the shades to cover his abused eye. Ana's hand snapped to her, having not expected the sudden release.
"Are you okay?" she asked, holding the shades in the hand she had managed to get them.
"M'fine. Just poked myself in the eye," muttered the kappa.
"Serves you right!" laughed Goku.
"Shut up, monkey!" snarled the half-blooded demon, his glare only half as effective now that there was a hand clapped over an eye.
"Make me!" Goku teased before making faces at the older man, such as sticking his tongue out and pulling up his nose to resemble a pig's snout. "Nyah!"
"Looks good on you, Goku," grated out Gojyo. "How 'bout I make it permanent?"
"Shut up, you idiots!" snarled Sanzo, whipping out his gun and standing to face them from the front seat in all one fluid motion.
"Yeek!" squealed the lot of them as they cowered.
"Now, now, Sanzo. Don't shoot them. It would leave you with having to find another to torture when you get angry," 'admonished' Hakkai.
"Good point," grunted Sanzo as he turned and sat back down.
They had a meager meal that night in the eyes of Goku, who vacuumed down the food with a certain amount of sadness. "Don't worry, Goku," assured Hakkai even as the monkey watched the others eat the last of their own portions. "We'll get food in the next town when we get there."
"And when'll that be?" asked Ana.
"Tomorrow afternoon," informed the driver.
"Good," grunted Sanzo. After the dishes were cleaned, Ana and Hakkai practiced fighting like they usually did whenever out in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't so much that Hakkai needed the training, but Ana did. As she wasn't predisposed to a fighter's condition or instincts, she had to work to ingrain them into her with the aid of the youkai.
Naturally, Hakkai always softened his blows to be just one step ahead of Ana, urging her to do better by forcing her to strain to meet his chosen strength level.
Later, Ana and Sanzo slipped out of the camp as Hakkai made sure that Gojyo and Goku did not sneak off after them. Though their time bundled together was brief, they both enjoyed it quite a bit. It had to end all too soon for them and they returned to camp to bed down for the night.
As promised, they reached the town the next afternoon. And they were also forced into their new capes and sunglasses, which earned bitter muttering from Ana while they drove in. "So not suspicious" was one of the more helpful phrases into what she believed this farce to be. Sanzo, however, made sure to tell the lot to not draw extra attention no matter what.
They found an inn and climbed out of the transformed dragon, leaving him in the small parking area. They went inside and Hakkai checked them in for a single night while the others kinda hung around him trying to not attract the attention that they so richly deserved. Ana saw a little girl peak out from around a corner and, with nothing better to do, grinned and wiggled her fingers at her in a little wave. The young woman was uncomfortably aware of the fabric concealing her form and the girl ducked out of sight immediately.
Ana sighed slightly even as Hakkai finished checking in with the woman receptionist. "Here you are," murmured the polite demon.
"Thank you very much," said the woman, taking the registry and glanced at the names. "…Oh! Are you five related?" she asked. On the registry was listed Hayabusa Taro, Jiro, Saburo, Shiro, and Sayuri. In other words, Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai, Goku, and Ana.
Hakkai chuckled nervously as he scratched his head. "Something like that," he replied.
"Bad," spat Sanzo quietly to Hakkai. "Taste." He bit the words out one at a time to make them a little harsher.
"I couldn't help it. It was the first thing I could think of," apologized Hakkai, not turning to meet the irritable priest's shaded eyes.
"If you'll follow me, I'll show you—" began the woman, moving away from the desk even as Ana murmured to Sanzo: "How are we going to explain we aren't exactly related now?"
"We'll deal with it later," muttered Sanzo in return, feeling warm at her breath brushing over his cheek at her words. However, any other chance to speak was interrupted by Gojyo's sudden advance on the woman that was supposed to be escorting them.
"Hey, Miss," he said, attracting her attention and slipping close at the same time before the woman knew what was happening. "What's your name?"
The young girl that Ana had noticed before was now in full view as she tried to understand the kappa's actions.
"Um… Seria," she replied, blushing slightly. "Why?"
"Seria," he tasted the name. "That's cute—Almost as cute as you. You got plans for tonight?"
Color was definitely flooding her face at this point. "Huh? Um…" sammered the clearly distraught woman.
"Onee-cha—" cried out the little girl, coming to the woman's aid even as the problem was neatly and efficiently countered. Her cry was cut short because of the countering.
A foot to the kappa forced the lecher to the ground with a pained grunt. The owner of the foot, 'oldest brother Taro', placed said foot back onto the ground and patiently flicked his ashes into the conveniently placed ashtray that Ana held up for him.
She handed it back to Hakkai, who placed it back onto the table he had filched it from, even as Gojyo shot to his feet in anger. "That hurt, asshole!" snarled the kappa straight into Sanzo's face. "I need this face! What's the big idea?!"
"Shut your filthy immoral mouth. I said not to draw extra attention," spat Sanzo. "And get away from me!"
Ana looked at the very suspicious young girl and sighed. If they couldn't fool a kid, what good did it do to try and fool an adult? "This isn't making us less obvious, you know," she muttered to the two of them.
Their conversation took a sudden left turn into a totally different topic when Goku's stomach growled. "Um, hey…" said the chimp, looking almost ravenous in a cute way. "Food?"
"Oh!" giggled Seira, hearing the word and fortunately not the rest of the conversation. "It's almost time for dinner, so I'll deliver when it's ready."
"Yay!" cheered Goku, punching the air with eager fists. "It's been forever since we ate for real!"
"Meaning since last week," chirped Ana to their guide even as they were taken to their room. Seira laughed heartily at that.
"Curb your enthusiasm, shit-for-brains," Sanzo told Goku.
Behind them, Ana saw as she looked over her shoulder, was one very suspicious little girl, hands on her hips.
After their meal, the Ikkou lounged in the confines of their room and talked even as Ana expertly shuffled a deck of cards for a round of poker with the bets being matchsticks. Each of the backseat group would have a book of matches to bet, as it was the only thing they could get a hold of at that time.
The rustle of cards accompanied her voice as she bitched. "Damn… How much longer do we have to wear this crap?"
She was now satisfied with the current mixing of the cards and started dealing five out to each of the current players. Sanzo responded as she did this. "Quit your whining. We wear it until people stop freaking out when they see us."
"We need to preserve our cover for now. Please just be patient." None of them were aware of the young girl lurking outside the door.
"We can't fool a little girl!" protested Ana. "Did you see her? She was giving us some serious fish-eye. You guys have got to realize this! This is like a cheesy 'B' rated movie!"
"Keep your voice down," Sanzo told her, hating the fact he was incapable of being close to her even in the relative privacy of the room. It didn't stop her from impairing his ability to smoke as she leaned against his arm that was currently supporting his nicotine habit. She was sitting on a bed semi-awkwardly to face the other bed in which the other two were currently sitting on, trying to see if they could win the bed from her. Three people would be taking up beds, despite the fact there were only two. Sanzo had immediately claimed one and Ana was happy to claim the same bed. No one challenged her for the spot, which was nice. And Ana was currently in the middle of trying to preserve her and Sanzo's bed from the two delinquents and have them fight over it if she lost it.
"Whatever," she told him in response.
"Well, whatever happens, it's 'Dear Brother Taro' who's screwed the most if he's seen."
"You're inviting nothing but death," growled Sanzo as he transferred the fag to his other hand to snuff out the used up bit of shit.
"Your willingness to cooperate is appreciated, 'Big Brother Jiro'," thanked Hakkai. "And yours, too, 'Little Sister Sayuri'." Ana made a ridiculous face – which included a wrinkled nose and crinkled brow – at him which made him chuckle.
"What I'm worried about," Sanzo said with an annoyed tone, "is if Jiro here can keep himself from nibbling on anything with girl parts?"
"Hey! I have refined and discriminating tastes, jerkwad!" snarled Gojyo, upset when Ana won the round and got two matches from each of them as well as her own two back even as she shuddered in disgust.
"Please don't bring up his little 'ventures'…" she asked, quoting the air around the word 'ventures'. "I'm a sweet and innocent girl—"
"Yeah right," snorted Gojyo. "You're as bad as they come seeing as you have a taste for priests."
"Shut up. You're disgusting," she spat, arching her back against Sanzo's arm, forcing the man to grunt slightly in annoyance.
"Mmm! That lady's cookin' was really good," commented Goku. "but I'm still hungry, y'know? Man…"
Hakkai chuckled, unaware of the distress they were causing their eavesdropper. "Just please don't eat us if you don't mind."
"Let's go again," Ana said.
"I'm shuffling the deck this time," Gojyo said, not liking the fact that Ana had won. He was supposed to be a card shark, dammit!
"Fine."
They played another round, Ana winning yet again. And again… And again… Goku won twice during their games and Gojyo three times. But Ana, out of all of them, was doing the best.
"Have you been learning from him?!" demanded Gojyo as he pointed a finger at Hakkai, getting frustrated that Ana kept winning.
"Learning what?" asked the two in unison.
"How to play cards!"
"No…" Ana said slowly as she blinked at him. "Tim did. He taught me all the finer points of gambling games, including how to bluff. This is actually the first time I've ever really played poker."
"Yet you know the rules…" Gojyo said sourly.
"The hands are just like Yatzee. It isn't that hard to figure out."
"Yatzee?" asked Goku.
"Dice game," explained Ana. "Imagine poker only with dice instead, and you count points instead of making bets every hand. And the highest scoring hand is actually a 'Yatzee', or all five dice read the same number. You can do straights, but there's no flushes as there aren't any suits with dice."
"Oh," said Goku, not really understanding but having a small idea.
"Let's keep going!" Gojyo said, frustrated still.
Ana rolled her eyes and allowed the kappa to shuffle the cards and after they had played yet another hand, Ana winning by bluffing on a trio of twos when Gojyo had better on a trio of fours. Goku had jack shit.
When she was paid up with her pile of matchsticks growing bigger, Gojyo snatched the cards out of her hands even as she yelped out a protest. "Three twos! Three twos! I demand those matchsticks."
"No, we all agreed I won," Ana glared.
Sanzo lost his temper at that point.
"The three of you shut the hell up!" roared the priest, whipping his fan out of nowhere and hitting the two male backseat passengers. Ana was spared, though she was surprised he hadn't hit her. Gojyo and Goku yelped before falling silent like whipped dogs. Sanzo eyed Ana as if to dare her into making him hit her. Ana looked at him warily. The priest settled down, letting his girlfriend touch him even in the presence of the others.
Now that it was quiet, they heard voices out in the hall. They grew louder and more worried. Hakkai, curious as to what was going on, quietly slipped on his shades and drew up his hood when he approached the door, the others pulling their hoods up as well to help disguise their features.
He opened the door, the portal's gate sliding open with a slight creak to show a young girl standing with her back to the door and two older men, one perhaps related to her. "Is something wrong?" he asked. The youkai was further startled when the young girl pushed him aside to look into the room. "Ah!" he yipped slightly. "Excuse me?"
The others, seeing the movement, jerked their concealment into place. Goku, brilliant as he was, was blocking his face with a pillow. Gojyo was more casual about it and just shifted his head to be halfway blocked by the cloak's hood. Ana's right hand was covering the upper part of her face and most of her nose, her middle and ring fingers slightly splayed so she could see through them and to the girl that she had seen earlier. Sanzo had pulled the cloak up as well, covering most of his lower face while his bangs concealed more of his upper.
"Huh?" uttered an obviously bewildered girl. "But…"
Her distress was clear. Goku carefully looked around the pillow, still incapable of really seeing anything unless he lowered it. "Huh?"
"Wh-where's onee-chan?" asked the girl. She looked around again as if she could find her sister. "I thought you guys were the youkai!"
"…What are you talking about?" demanded Sanzo.
"There have been youkai attacks on our town recently. Young women turn up dead and partially eaten," the older man said, wringing his hands. "Oh, Seira! Oh, my niece!"
"Well… this isn't good. Say we clear our names and go help that girl?" asked Ana, glancing at Sanzo out of the corner of her eye. Sanzo grunted in affirmation and immediately stood, not caring if he left his shades behind for the moment. Ana didn't bother grabbing them either, but she made sure her hood was in place. Gojyo, like a nimrod, went ahead and grabbed his shades and slid them on. Naturally, Goku wound up mimicking him. Hakkai already had his on, but he discarded them in lieu of the monocle.
"Let's go," Hakkai said softly. "And we'll see about bringing your niece back, sir," he calmly told the man.
"Thank you," said the worried old man. "Thank you."
"Wait! I'm coming with you!" the child said. They glanced at each other, not wanting to take the time to argue about it.
"Fine," said Ana, grabbing the little girl up, surprised by the weight the child had. "But you do exactly what we tell you to do, got it?" The girl nodded mutely. "What's your name?" asked Ana even as they got into Jeep outside.
"Seika," she said softly.
"Oh, good. I thought it would be hard to remember," sighed Ana as they took off. "Guys, meet Seika."
Gojyo just snorted in amusement and Goku's eyes danced, but none of them said a word as they zoomed off to the outskirts of town where Seika said that they had found the bodies of the women near.
All too soon, they heard a female scream of 'no', which caused Seika to clench at Ana's arm hard. The girl seemed to find comfort in Ana's presence, something Ana couldn't understand why as she had been the youngest and was always spoiled rotten because of it.
"Seira!" she cried out even as Hakkai stopped Hakuryuu.
"Stay here," ordered Sanzo as they barreled out of the car, Gojyo first. The kappa saw the trio of men and the form of what could only be Seira on the ground before them, a man forcing himself down on her. He didn't put any more thought into the situation, knowing that the quips would come soon enough. He launched himself foot first and kicked the guy on top of her off. The man toppled back, grunting with pain even as Gojyo hit the ground square on his feet, looking totally cool as he did so.
Seira looked up, wide eyed, at Gojyo, disbelieving he was there even as the first quip came tumbling from his lips. "Don't you know you should never force a lady?" He was angry that they'd scared her and probably hurt her. "You've got real rocks, asswipes," he commented balefully.
"Who th' hell're you?!" demanded one of the thugs. "Stay out of our—" The statement cut off and became shock as Goku dropped down in front of Gojyo and then kicking one of the other two, knocking him flat on the ground.
"You're framin' youkai? That's dirty, scuzzbags!"
"I so agree," snapped out Ana as she got the last with a mere tap of her hand, laying him out flat from the shock to his system.
Despite what she had been ordered to do by the others, Seika jumped out of the car and went to her sister. "Onee-chan!"
"Seika!" exclaimed a shocked and horrified Seira. "What are you doing here?!" she demanded, wanting to protect her sister more than herself. "And why did you bring…"
What she said was lost underneath the shout of the man that Gojyo had knocked back. "You pricks've screwed up the wrong tree! We'll kill you bastards and keep your little whore for us!"
"Oh, no, he did not just say that!" snarled Ana even as the man lunged forward towards Sanzo with a wild cry.
Sanzo had said something, lost to the sound of the inarticulate yell. The man swiped at the priest with a knife, Sanzo barely dodging but lust part of his cloak in the process.
"Huh?" gasped the man, shocked when a barrel of a gun was pointed at his head.
"Didn't you hear me?" asked Sanzo even as the hood fell back, revealing his golden blonde hair and very intense violet eyes. The man didn't make a move for he feared getting shot. Sanzo then said ominous words even as the fabric that had concealed his outfit slid to the ground. "I said I was going to make you dead."
"Ooh… Makes me wanna jump him," chuckled Ana to herself. Goku snorted in amusement.
The man before the gun scrambled back with a strangled scream.
"Shit! Who… who are you?!" he cried out even as Seira and Seika stared in shock at the strange sight, not believing their eyes. The man that Seika had thought to be youkai was garbed as a priest!
"No way…" muttered one of the ones that Goku had gotten as Ana's was still twitching slightly from the small electrical surge. "You've gotta be kidding me! A blond monk with a silver gun. Five psychos ridin' in a jeep! That means—"
Cue dramatic removal of cloaks to reveal their regular clothes, including the shades that came off of Goku and Gojyo.
"I told you people this stupid disguise thing wouldn't work!" complained Ana, hands on her hips.
"Easy now, Ana-dono," calmed Hakkai. "So… now what should we do with these three?"
"Make 'em flat!" Goku said, punching a fist into an open palm with a satisfying smack.
"Torture them slowly for calling me a whore!" spat Ana.
"Kill them," Sanzo said, picking at an ear, no happier than Ana for the fact she had been called a whore. "Kill them and kill them fast."
"Whatever, so long as it's now," Gojyo grinned, deeming it good to let the truth be confirmed. "I don't like dealing with a tired and cranky Sanzo."
Cat out of the bag, everyone that wasn't of the Ikkou gasped like expected in a very satisfactory manner to the kappa.
The trio of rapists gasped in shock, scuffled backwards, shouted in horror "Priest Sanzo and his cohort!" At that, they picked up the less-than-capable of moving member of their team and ran into the night, never to be heard from again in that small town.
They got back to town and collapsed in bed. However, Seika and Seira both had other plans and spent the night spreading the word that Sanzo and company was in town. The entire village became teeming with life as they bustled to welcome the priest properly. No one ever thought as to why the group had planned to quietly enter the village and leave again. Seika was especially adamant about telling how Sanzo and his friends had saved her sister and told it to many of the children that wished to hear it over and over. She enjoyed telling them that she even got to ride in their Jeep and that Sanzo had spoken directly to her. She gained a small celebrity status through her machinations.
By the time the group was alive enough to face the day and hopefully gather supplies so that they could continue on West, the entire town had the word 'Sanzo' placed with nearly every other word.
And when they came downstairs, they were more than disappointed to see a mass of people waiting to greet them and ogle them.
"So much for anonymity," muttered Ana to herself as she eyed the group.
"Priest Sanzo," Seira said very respectfully as she came up to them. With a slight bow, she gestured to a table laden with food, from which the people concealing it retreated and revealed the spread. "If you would please be so kind..."
It must be noted that Sanzo clamped a disbelieving hand over his face as if to shield the idiotic happenings from him by concealing part of his face.
"Wow…" commented Goku, beginning to drool. The rest of them looked rather dumbstruck. "Check out th' spread."
"They even managed a sign…" deadpanned Ana, her eyes flicking over the Chinese characters in slight distaste. 'Sanzo & friends… Why does that offend me?'
"Please accept this small token of our appreciation from our town, Priest Sanzo," said some random woman. "We hope it will come close to meeting your most sophisticated taste."
At this point, Gojyo snorted in a highly amused manner.
"Cat's out of the goddamn bag," muttered Sanzo, Ana having scooted forward to stand next to him and eyeballing the young women in the crowd that seemed to be taken with the priest's looks. She kindly gave them a dark look.
"All this food's for us?!" asked Goku excitedly, starting forward. "Real-ee!" His question was cut short when fan met cranium, forcing down his head.
"Thank you, but no," Sanzo told the group, who seemed slightly shocked that he had hit his own friend, but then attributed it to Goku being a disciple or something of that nature that just got reprimanded. "We're in a hurry to move on. I don't know what kind of rumors you've been hearing…" Here, he paused and delivered the words that would hurt them more than anything else. "…But there's nothing we can do for you and have no obligation to stay." The priest turned on heel with the others close behind him or next to him. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll be leaving."
"Hey!" shouted Seika, shocked by this cold delivery, as she darted forward. "Wait!" Her small hand grabbed the sleeve of Sanzo's robe, making Sanzo stop even though he could have just pulled out of her grasp with ease. "Um… I'm sorry," she apologized, tears burning in her eyes. "You're mad at me 'cause I thought you were the youkai, right? I'm sorry!" She hiccupped. "You saved my sister! I-I just wanna thank you!"
Silent was those in the room until Ana broke it. "I guess we could stay for a little bit," she offered. "What do you say, Sanzo?"
"…Feh," sighed the priest, disliking that he just got outvoted when he was trying to seem cold and uncaring. He grabbed the chair and slid it out so he could have a seat. "No," he admitted. "I'm not… mad."
"More like annoyed at the delay," Ana muttered to him as the happiness to the fact they were accepting the feast brought back the chatter in the room. She sat down to the right of him, forcing the others to choose other spots, Goku and Gojyo forced to take the same side as Hakkai sat opposite of Sanzo.
As Gojyo went to his seat, he muttered to Sanzo, "Why would you be mad? We are youkai. Heh!" He snorted in amusement.
"Speak for yourself," both Sanzo and Ana mouthed at the same time.
Without further ado, Goku dove into the meal, shoveling the first thing he could get right into his mouth. His exuberant shout of "This is sooooo good!" caused Seira to chuckle.
"Have as much as you'd like!" she told him.
Ana happily ate the food, daring to snitch things from Goku's grasp at times, teasing him. The rest ate as well. Hakkai overheard some of the villagers speak in obvious relief. "We've got nothing to be afraid of while Sanzo's here. What luck!"
The youkai chose to speak. "This town is on a sort of youkai alert, am I right?" he queried. "Have you hade any problems with youkai before?"
"Well, no," admitted a woman. "Not exactly. We thought the recent murders were youkai, but they turned out not to be."
"Is that right?" he pushed. "No problems at all?"
"Not here," agreed a man standing next to the woman. "But we've been hearing about the attacks on other towns." The man's hand slipped into the woman's and squeezed it nervously even as his wife spoke. "We've been really worried. The mothers in town can't sleep at night, you know?"
Even as this was said, the group twitched almost all at once, feeling the ominous presence of malicious youki. As one, they all stood, startling the villagers.
"Priest Sanzo?" asked one, not understanding why the group seemed so anxious to leave the half-finished feast.
"Thank you for the hospitality. Now we are leaving," Sanzo said as they all headed to the door.
"Huh?" Seika said, totally baffled.
"Sorry for leavin' leftovers!" Goku said, trying to keep the girl calm.
"Yeah, on a good day, there'd be none!" laughed Ana, though her face contained little merriment.
"B-but wait!" she called even as the other villagers called out to them. "Where are you going?!"
"Anywhere but here," Gojyo said, not glancing over his shoulder.
"Why?!" Seira said, feeling a keen sense of loss as her saviors walked away from her.
"I'd suggest going home and locking your doors," Hakkai told them, his face grave.
"We can feel a whole lotta youkai coming this way," Gojyo informed them.
That immediately began a ruckus. "Wha?! So we are in danger!"
"Wait, Priest Sanzo!" called one. "If youkai are coming, why are you leaving town?!" cried another. "Please get rid of them! We're begging you!" "Priest—"
"Shut it," came Sanzo's flat voice. Silence fell. "Your populace is more than slightly obsessed. This youkai fetish is going to drive you all insane." He fixed them with a harsh amethyst glare. "And I already told you the rumors are wrong."
"Huh? What do you mean?" ventured a brave soul.
"Sanzo…" murmured Hakkai.
"Nngh," muttered the priest in acknowledgement. They were here. He lifted his voice even as the others conjured their weapons and Ana drew her knife. He himself drew his pistol. "Here's something worth knowing. We're not traveling around and exterminating youkai." Dark, cruel shapes lunged down off the rooftops, crying out various phrases even as Sanzo gave his last words before this fight. "The youkai are coming after us."
At the sight of the youkai, the people recoiled and some ran screaming away, bolting towards their homes for the relative safety as none of the youkai were interested in them but in the five that they sought.
"Hya ha ha ha!" chortled a demon. "It's Genjyo Sanzo! We've been looking for you, you holy pile of shit!"
"Kill them!" roared another and the rest took up the battle cry. "Get the sutra!" he cried even as one launched himself forward shouting "Kill them!"
"Ki—"
The battle cry was cut short as Shakujou's crescent blade split the air and the youkai, causing a bloody rain around the group. As body parts hit the ground, some of the surviving youkai screamed in agony at the loss of a limb or two. The shock of losing so much blood killed them moments later.
The blade whirled back to meet the staff as the chain retracted within it. "Bring it, pissants!" Gojyo said, relishing in the thought of being able to fight again.
At the sight of blood, even more of the villagers ran away, frightened as much by Sanzo and his friends casual slaughter as they were of the youkai. Two of the last to witness the fight was Seira and her little sister Seika. Seika was horrified as she watched the people she thought were great and wonderful people tear into the youkai. She was shocked when a crackling of lightning and the smell of ozone filled the air as the girl who had done nothing more than draw a knife in visible preparation zapped youkai, making them hit the ground and twitching in pain and electrical shock.
Goku whirled Nyoi-Bo and shouted to the last of the villagers who remained. "D'ya get it now? Wherever we wanna go…" He brought his staff to bear onthree youkai as he whipped it around and caught all three with a single harsh blow. "…Stupid youkai always show up to ruin th' party!" he finished. His 'ruining the party' line was ruined horribly by his large grin marring his face. He was enjoying himself, quite obviously.
"Kill them!" cried out a desperate youkai, as if that would help him and his friends take out the demon slaying bunch. The true demon slayer of the party had his own grin on, though it was fixed. Such an expression disconcerted the youkai that saw it, making them falter, wondering what the youkai had up his sleeve.
"But it has been a while," mused Hakkai as he showed exactly what he had up his sleeve. For one demon, the green-eyed man had an elbow to the jaw. As he drew his hands back, he revealed he had a chi blast up the other as he charged said blast. "Since we've fought such a large group, that is," he continued. As he finished the line, he threw the blast and took out another three.
"Doesn't make it any more fun, though!" remarked Ana as she popped a demon in the jaw with, for the moment, an uncharged fist. As the demon staggered back, she pulled a follow-up, and slit him across the belly with the knife in a mostly lateral motion. The demon screamed as he fell back, his innards sliding out. "Ew… didn't expect that," she commented as she turned to the next.
"Heh," snorted Gojyo in amusement, obstinately ignoring the sound of gunshots, death cries, chi blasts, and the zap of lightning for his own menagerie of slice and dice. "Whatever, we need the exercise. Last thing I want…" The blade retracted back to the staff so he could use it again. "…Is to lose this killer body."
He found himself backed against Sanzo as the man was reloading, enough chaos in the area to prevent him from being attacked immediately. "Right?" he demanded of Sanzo. "'Dear brother Taro'?"
Sanzo flicked his hand, closing the barrel back. "Hn," he snorted in utter un-amusement and lifted the gun again. "Forget your body. You need to exercise the fat between your ears." Within two shots, two youkai dropped to the ground to never stir again.
He felt the slight tug on his sutra and whipped around to see a youkai trying to filch it. "Dammit!" he swore and swung his arm back to catch the demon full under the chin with the butt of his gun. The demon hit the dirt once again and Sanzo planted an irritated foot on top of his head, eliciting a yelp of discomfort and fear from the monster.
"You're just saying that because you're soft between the legs, Sanzo-sama," Gojyo jeered.
"Hey!" protested Ana. "You perverted cockroach! You don't know a damned thing!"
"Ah ha ha!" laughed Hakkai. "I'm starting to see that death wish Sanzo's always talking about, Gojyo. You know better than to rile Ana!"
"Damn straight!" barked out the lone girl of the group.
"Speaking of a death wish…" laughed Goku, enjoying the quips throughout the battle. "…These guys're just linin' up beggin' to die!"
"Ha ha!" laughed Gojyo, putting some distance between him and the fierce couple he had just insulted one half of. "You got that right!"
The few that had yet to join the fight had pretty much lost interest. "There's n-no way we can win this one," gasped one. "Goddammit!" snarled another. "They're youkai-massacring devils incarnate! Screw the Sanzo party!" They didn't get much more chance to chat as two shadows of death bore down on them in the forms of Ana and Goku. Before they knew what was happening in their heart of hearts, they were dead and ascending to the plain that would judge their souls.
Unbeknownst to the five fighting, Seika was frozen, her limbs not comprehending her situation enough to lift her to her feet and get her clear. Seira was trying to get the girl to get up, but it wasn't working and the older girl wasn't strong enough to carry her younger sister any distance as Seika was too big.
Also unbeknownst to the group, a youkai that they had not yet killed for they had accidentally knocked him out and didn't know that was all they had done (courtesy of Goku).
Speaking of Goku, he joyfully commented, "These are th' last of 'em. Bye-bye, uglies!"
Now that it was quiet and there weren't any more youkai that they could see stirring, though the demon that they had missed was putting his plan into action.
"That was an awful lot, wouldn't you say?" asked Hakkai.
"Townspeople shouting 'Sanzo' at the top of their lungs doesn't exactly stave off the masses," Sanzo commented sourly as he surveyed the condition of his gun, quietly mourning the loss of bullets.
"I'm just glad that they weren't anything badass enough to get us hard," Ana said absently as she wiped her blade on a clean spot on some random youkai's shirt. Sheathing it back onto her hip, she then tugged at her wrappings and looked up around the town.
It was eerily quiet and they could see the shadows of people watching them from several homes close enough to be viewed. "Guess the people're scared," commented Goku.
"We're creepier than the youkai," Gojyo snorted in sour amusement. "Not that I really blame them with this body count," he added, kicking a corpse that had been fried by Ana.
"Leave that alone. We don't do barbequed youkai," snorted the young woman, releasing her grip on the wraps and noted then small drops of blood that had touched them. "Yech."
Suddenly the air was split with a terrified scream and they all whipped around in the direction it came from. "Seika!" shouted the recognizable voice of Seira. They saw her a moment later as they heard Seika's voice. "Onee-chan!" she squealed in fear.
Above them, they saw a demon holding the girl firmly by her small wrists with one hand. "Bwa ha ha ha!" laughed the creature. "How about this, you crazy bastards!" he shouted to them. "The tables have turned! Hand over the sutra nice and slow!"
"Onee-chan! Help me!"
"Seika!" cried the horrified sister. "Please, let Seika go!"
"Aw, man," whined the kappa. "There's always some dipshit…"
He trailed off even as Hakkai spoke. "Now, Gojyo—Lets' not go and replace tact with honesty."
"Hey!" shouted the demon, angered that they weren't taking him seriously. Seika's cries momentarily stopped as she realized they weren't even taking the situation seriously. At least on the surface, though she didn't know that, they were always jokers, but they never took anything truly lightly unless it was making light fun of each other.
"Like one of you has a chance when a whole mob failed," Sanzo said blithely. "Look, we don't give a damn about the kid."
That threw the demon… "Wha?" he uttered.
And angered the 'kid'. "You… You stink!" she shouted, angered that the 'Great Sanzo' was a terrible and scary man. "I hate Priest Sanzo! It doesn't matter what people say—He doesn't help anybody!"
"Finally someone gets it. I never became a Sanzo to help people," said the irritable priest.
"I protest," murmured Ana loud enough for them to hear her on the ground but not up on the building. Seira cast a shocked glance at the lot of them, horrified that they were just chatting away, not realizing they were formulating a plot to get the girl back without having to surrender a thing.
"Really?" teased Gojyo without much humor before raising his voice slightly more. "But that doesn't mean we're not in the market for fights."
"Stupid…" the irritated youkai growled before spitting out, "Fine, have it your way!" His back bulged and twisted before two black bat-like wings emerged. Seeing this new problem, Seika screamed anew.
"Holy shit!" yelped Ana as Goku said in shock, "Ack! He's got wings?!"
"Hmm… A versatile entertainer," deadpanned Sanzo.
"That sounds wrong… sorta," commented Ana after her initial shock.
Up above, the demon took off, flapping his wings a bit harder under the strain of carrying an extra burden. He laughed and called down to the group who was surprised yet unsurprised by the move. "Enjoy your freedom while you can—next time, I won't go so easy on you!" Seika screamed in his arms, terrified.
"Wait! He's just going to bail?!" demanded a pissed Gojyo.
"Jeep!" cried out Hakkai, calling the transformed dragon to them. The vehicle sped to them and they piled in hastily. "We can't let them leave town," Hakkai said to the others even as he engaged the gears.
"Damn straight!" huffed out Gojyo, keeping his eyes squared on the two in the sky. "He's already sold us a brawl. And we don't do refunds!" Tires spun and they belted after them.
"Why isn't there ever an easy fight?" sighed Ana.
"Because we're cursed," chirped Hakkai even though he was dead serious behind his mask.
"Bah, takin' a kid an' runnin'. Is he nuts?" asked Goku.
"Nuts or not, he's still getting away," Sanzo pointed out.
"Sanzo?" asked Hakkai, wanting to see if his idea of what should be done matched the priest's.
"Keep going, Hakkai. We need to narrow the gap… before I can take a shot."
They swerved around a corner, the street they were on not going in the same direction as their targets were.
Now that they were close enough, there were faint words from above, but they were ignored. Sanzo took his shot by calling up to her. "Jump!" he ordered. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to comprehend right away, so he shouted it again. "Jump!"
Up above, Seika bit into the arm of the youkai, forcing him to release her in his shock and pain. And to their eyes, the two forms up above separated even as Goku threw himself out of the back at Sanzo's command and onto the ground, summoning Nyoi-bo as he did so. Planting one end of the staff into the ground, he cried out, "Extend, Nyoi-bo!" At that, he shot towards the sky even as the girl fell to the ground in a rather spectacular dive.
As the two crossed paths, Goku said to her, "I'll get 'im for ya."
Down on the ground, Hakkai shouted, "I'm backing up!" even as he shifted gears and shot backwards, swerving wildly as he tried to line up the car so that one of them could catch Seika.
The demon hung in the sky, watching those on the ground in shock at the crazy maneuvers even as Gojyo and Ana shouted for Hakkai to stop. Behind him, Goku used the last of his momentum to retract Nyoi-bo and slam it onto the idiot's head, slamming the fool into a nearby roof a second after Seika was caught.
Gojyo laughed in relief even as Seika was cradled between Ana and Gojyo. "Good work, kid," he said to her.
"You're not hurt, are you?" asked Ana, brushing a few stray strands from Seika's face. Seika shook her head 'no'.
Seika's assailant fell off the roof and kissed the dirt. He lifted his face up as he gasped for air. "D-dammit," he spat.
"Wow… this one's got more persistence than a cockroach," said Ana, noticing the movement of the idiot.
"What? He's still alive?" Goku said, surprised. He had hit him hard enough.
"Uh, huh."
"Good," Sanzo said as they all climbed out of the car sans Seika. "He didn't earn a quick and easy death."
The demon looked up in horror and apprehension, desperate to make one last plea. "But… why're you guys always fighting youkai?! We know you're all part youkai!"
There was a twitch of surprise from Seika in the Jeep, but it went unnoticed.
"I'm not," grated out Sanzo as Ana nodded sharply in agreement.
"Me neither," she bit out.
"That's the second time today!" Hakkai cheerfully commented.
Unknowing of the slight he had just caused two of the ikkou members, the youkai went on. "Come on, think for a second! Youkai are smarter and stronger than humans, so why side with the inferior race?"
That brought Hakkai's attention to bear on him. "Inferior race?" he queried before speaking in an enlightened tone. "Ah, I see. So what you're saying… is that a 'superior race' can still justify using a young girl as a hostage? And that this is smarter and stronger than bravely diving from the sky?"
"Yes!" said the demon, warming to his topic and glad that they had 'perceived' his meaning. "So join the youkai! Your skills belong on the winning side!"
The five of them glanced at each other, not at all moved by the demon's little speech. To them, he was a fool and did not understand anything that they fought for.
"Hey. That sounds familiar," mused Gojyo. Ana perked up in interest.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, yeah!" chirruped Goku. "When was that? A loooong time ago!"
For a moment they paused, and a sinking feeling came into the youkai's heart though he couldn't quite identify its source at first.
Sanzo grinned slowly and murmured, "I've gotten this far on faith, haven't I?"
"Huh?" asked the demon. Now he understood the source of his inner despair as Sanzo lifted the gun and leveled it at the fool's head.
"…Right. Since the day I was born and until the day I die, you disgusting little wretch…" He paused and pulled the trigger right as he finished the line. "The only side I'm on is my own." With a final gunshot, the demon fell dead.
"Hum… I've heard that before," mused Ana, running a finger on her cheek. "I'm pretty sure one of you said it in the first ever volume of Saiyuki if I remember right."
"Really?" asked Hakkai, interested.
"Hn. Let's get the girl back to her sister and get the hell out of here. We can discuss other worlds once we leave," ordered Sanzo.
"Right-o, boss!" saluted Ana before they went back to the Jeep. Seika scrambled back and allowed the five to enter the vehicle.
"What now?"
"We take you to Seira, okay?" Ana offered as Hakkai zoomed to the center of town where people had emerged and Seira waited, frantic.
As soon as they deposited their load, glad that they had packed before they had fought the youkai, and she ran to her sister, they shifted into gear and drove out of town, ignoring the sound of cold words coming in way of thanks to them. The villagers cursed them having come.
Unknown to them, however, was the true gratitude of one pair of siblings with the knowledge that even though Sanzo and his friends didn't come to save their town, at least they protected them from destruction when they came…
Out on the road, under the growing sunset, Gojyo gazed at the orange sky, a cigarette dangling from his lips. "Hey," he said to the group. "Don't get me wrong—I realize the importance of a classy exit and all. But it's almost dark. Tell me we're not camping out again."
"I'm sorry, Gojyo," Hakkai said, glancing around behind him before looking back at the road. "Our map says we're three days from the next town."
"Three days?!" cried out Gojyo, lunging forward to see if this was indeed true and Hakkai wasn't just shitting him. He wasn't the only one.
"But what about food?!" demanded Goku of Hakkai. "Food food food?!"
"Yes," agreed Hakkai. "Perhaps we should've bought groceries before we left."
"Screw the damn food!" protested Gojyo, pushing Goku back. "Whab about booze? And cigarettes?!"
"Whaddaya mean 'screw the food'?! What're you gonna do if I starve to death?!"
"Like I care! Go on and die!"
Ana watched them in shock before turning to Hakkai. "And what exactly do we have left, Hakkai?" she asked very carefully.
"I'm afraid we have only one small meal left, and it deals with Spam and bread…" He trailed off.
"No way!" yelped Ana, not liking the looks of this at all. "Please tell me you messed up on the map! Please tell me there's a closer town!!"
"I'm quite sorry, but the nearest town is indeed three days away…"
"But only one meal?" pleaded Goku, asking for it to not be true.
"And no cigarettes or booze?" Gojyo asked in a manner that begged for it to be otherwise.
"Spam?" Ana added, looking mightily depressed and upset.
Sanzo, by this time, had had enough of the constant needling and begging and pleading and fighting. He spun around as he stood and his gun appeared in his hand. "Shut up!" he shouted at them, forcing them to cower as he leveled the gun square at them. "Either your arguing stops instantly or you three'll be pissing lead!"
"Aargh!" yelped Gojyo. "He can't miss us from that close!"
"Sorry!" Ana cried out.
Sanzo put the gun away and started to settle back down when Goku opened his mouth. "Um… I'm hungry…"
With that, Sanzo didn't pull out his gun but rather his fan and smacked the chimp on the head as a warning to all three that any more shenanigans would get them even more seriously hurt. It earned him a yelp from the offended party.
After that, at least for the time being, everything settled down in the car and they continued driving into the sunset.
MANGA CHAPTERS COMPLETED:
Volume 1: Extra Manga: "Let's Change Clothes"
Volume 1: Act 1: Run
