Yo I was told that apparently following fanfiction's social etiquette is that proper thing to do when writing a story so in case you human's haven't noticed there is OCCness in this story. If you don't like it you can suck my undeveloped dick and go read a different story. I am only writing this because I was told it was the socially acceptable thing to do. Excuse my shitty attitude it will improve after I get my sexual frustration out once I finger rape my keyboard…. xD Joking, PS I am not really an asshole but pent up energy does this to a person.
CRASH!
The sound of the obliteration of yet another mug shattering against the otherwise stainless-tile floors of the staff lunch room.
"Hahaha this is a new record you went all the way till lunch time without injuring yourself, progress!" Hanji laughed over joyed quickly jotting down the observable details in her daily log of Erwin's incidences titled 'One steps, two steps, three steps falls ' Erwin silently stared at the broken mug.
'Levi had got me that one on our vacation to Jamaica…' With a sigh he bent down collecting the pieces with great caution to avoid creating any lacerations on his fingers tips.
"Hanji will you please stop keeping track of things like that." His deep voice laced with discontent, he knew he was a klutz's but he didn't need a damn analysis documenting his every accident.
He couldn't count the number of times he's stumbled across little cameras in his office so Hanji could keep her records as accurate as possible. That fact alone was the reason why he refused to let Levi hide under his desk and give him head as he tried to get work done. Erwin shook his head vanquishing the vulgar idea from his mind, launching his alertness back into reality just in time to avoid tripping over the uneven elevation that separated the staff lunch room floor to the hallways floor.
"Aw….I wrote this note in pen." He could hear Hanji whined referring to her book, he assumed she predicted he was going to trip on it like he usually does but bitch not today! He chuckled to himself heading back to his office with no accidents. He couldn't allow himself to drift off in thought so often anymore, not if he was going to be an attentive father starting tomorrow. The pairing up process was complete Levi and himself were matched with a two month old baby boy. Erwin smiled to himself remembering the photo within the document package they received in the mail, round chubby cheeks, cute stubby nose those onyx coloured eyes beautiful chocolate skin.
"You weren't allowed to ask for a particular ethnicity but it is quite delightful we have a black child." He said out loud the office building was unusually quite no obnoxious clicking of Louis Vuitton heels, no sound of an angry client arguing that his lawyer fees were too high. Not even a rouge fart squeezing it's bubbly self of out someone virgin butthole its owner being under the impression the coast was clear. He shrugged it off turning the brass door of his office looking at his cluttered desk of various proposals, client files and court forms that were in need of a judge's signature.
"Hmph it is a blessing I don't have to worry about keep this room perfectly organized." Erwin chuckled to himself and a low yet heartily tone. Catching glimpse of a portrait of him and Levi of their first honeymoon.
"Levi….I can only imagine how you're occupying your time on your day off." He mumbled to himself booting up his computer to continue typing up a report of a conversation with his last client, this female exhibitionist caught humping a football like a sick pervert in a public park.
"God give me the strength to argue this case without smiling." He smirked to himself it was a shame law school did not prepare him this, not like he was complaining, he sat on a cushiony pay check at a large lawyer firm beside the formalness of this job great tailored to his personality.
Meanwhile~
"Tsk, bringing food in the bedroom the nerve of him." He said angrily shaking out the blanket that covered their shared bed outside as he stood on the balcony that was connected to their bedroom, after it failed its daily crumb inspection. Levi stopped to admire the luxurious mountain line view watching the flamboyant sun kissing the shady trees leaves which would otherwise be covered in darkness.
'I get it you're hot.' He grumbled glare at the sun for temporary blinding him.
"WHO'S HOT LEVI? LEEEVVI HEY LEVI!" A nearly ear piercing scream called for him from their front lawn. He didn't have to look down he could recognize that brown bouncing mop top and shitty pubescent teenager voice anywhere. He pretended not to hear the voice calling out to him, that stupid brat has come to bother him often. He decided to spar with him one time and kicked his ass and this kid has been back asking for a rematch ever since. All he did was break two ribs, dislocate his collar bone, knocked out three back teeth, snap his pinky finger, break his nose and give him a black eye.
'Like geez kiddo can't you take a hit? It's not like I injured him that badly. Would you believe he called an ambulance to take him to the hospital for his quote on quote injuries?' Levi thought a question he would often think to himself.
'Psh take some Codeine, shove a cotton ball up your nose and take a nap, you will be better in the morning it is not like internal bleeding ever killed anyone.' Levi grumbled clearly his judgment clouded from dodging too many bullet shells in Iran. The army completely desensitising his concern level for injuries that did not involve losing a half a liter of blood. The fact that he was able to fake he was a concerned caring individual throughout the adoption interview was thanks to his adaptability training back in the military. (The shit they specifically told him not to apply to civilian life comes in handy.)
He heard the door opening and the smell yes smell of mud being tracked on his freshly mopped marble floor.
"Jeager Bomb bastard who let you in here!?" He snarled leaning over the stair railing that over looked their mudroom, living room and dining room what an nice aerial view…..completely tarnished by the sight of a god's made abomination dirtying up his freshly clean bumping floor. Yes you read correctly, bumping, Levi is trying key word trying to make an effort to not swear…..as often. And when was Levi referred to dirtying up his floors he wasn't referring to the shoe prints staining the marble tile he meant Eren Jeager his neighbour.
"Eerrmm w-well Erwin….." Eren paused clearing his throat to sound more manly an not like he might have peed his pants a little when he heard Levi's booming voice rip through the halls of the million dollar estate.
"Erwin must have dropped his house key on his way to work because they were laying on the porch so I let myself in." He said more dignified affirming that he actually does possess the DNA coding of an XY penis wielding male human and not an XX coding for clapping Vagina flaps of fury aka female.
An unimpressed sigh slipped through his pursed lips his feet making the slow descend down stairs.
"What do you want?" He croaked watching Eren remove his shoes before fetching the nearby mop and bucket to erase the stains on Levi's floor. The brat knew the drill Levi would yank his pants down and bend him over his knee is he didn't do this because he has done it before. Only because it seem to slip his mind to shake off the mud and remove his shoes before stepping on the carpet.
"Hmmm I was really hoping to spank your punk ass this time but it seems your memory has greatly improved since the last time I did that." Levi rolled the sleeves up on his tight body defining white v-shirt long sleeve shirt, resting his forearm door frame of the living just to the left of them.
"Levi… my mom question if I was gay for a month because I was limping so obviously…..." He looked down at the floor shivering, furiously scrubbing the away hoping if he scrubbed hard enough the energy he was excreting would transcend to his brain and blench away the memory. Levi's lip curled in disapproval.
"You missed a spot, do it again." He scoffed walking off, his heels thudding against the floor with loud stomps.
"Huh!? Do it all over because of one spot?!" Eren exclaimed in utter disbelief, 'he is unbelievably anal about things.' Eren groaned thinking to himself. He looked back at the floor crouching down inspecting the polished tilt.
"Levi there's isn't a single stain here." He groaned looking over his shoulder to see Levi sitting crossed legs sitting on the white leather couch with a glass of red wine.
"There is." He frowned taking a sip out of the perfectly aged nectar.
"B-But this floor looks like a majestic bumping dolphin with wings….and a jet pack." Eren stuttered pointing to the glimmering floor.
Eren and Levi are practising not swearing….as much.
A sole eyebrow rose on his otherwise stern face, he walked over the thumping of his heels made Eren tense up with every approaching step. He paused inspecting the floors grunting. Pulling a magnifying glass out of the back pocket of his jeans and kneed down inspecting the floor farther setting his glass on the floor.
'The brat actually did a good job…fuck.' He thought amazed but he wouldn't let his face show it.
"It is not good enough I still see a mark." He picked up his glass taking yet another sip of the purple venom feeling it roll down his throat, Eren swallowed hard as the shorter but more intimidating man's Adam's apple wiggled and throbbed under his freshly shaved skin.
"But but…where?" Eren voice dropped in disbelief he put extra effort to make sure there wasn't a spot.
"Here." He grinned dumping the remainder of his wine on Eren messy and untamed brown locks the wine soaked his hair quickly dampening it working its way down his favorite yellow band t-shirt effectively staining it too. Eventually on the once spotless grey marble floors. Eren was frozen in disbelief as he watched Levi just strut away, that clothed ass swinging side to side like a pendulum.
"You smell dirty, go shower and change upstairs in the guest bedroom come to the kitchen when you are done." Levi told him his body no longer in sight but his voice clearly rang throughout the halls of the house.
"Y-yes Sir!" Eren replied immediately stripping down to his underwear drying his wet feet from the wine that puddled around him and jogging up the stairs.
'If he wanted me to shower, he should have just said so.' He whined blushing as he ran around the upstairs level basically naked trying to find this elusive guest bathroom. Levi cooked lunch for Eren shortly after he threw his dirty clothes in the wash. The smell of a soup's flavour intensifying, soon filling the house and greeted Eren's nose as he stepped out of the shower steam dancing off his shoulder draped in Erwin's clothes just plain grey sweat pants and a tight white tee-shirt. As he descended down the grand stair case there was a firm knock on the black-stained mahogany wooden door. You couldn't see who it was through the stained glassed window kissing each side of the door frame but it would be reasonable to assume it was Erwin.
"Open it." Levi called from the kitchen, not ready to leave his station with an unwiped stove ooooh no that would be a crime against humanity. Eren complied swing out the down greeted by Erwin's alerted face he wasn't expecting Eren.
"My key I-" Erwin began but Eren cut him off heading to the kitchen.
"I found it on the porch, I left it in the guest bathroom." He smirked glancing at Erwin over his shoulder at that suit that hugged his body sooo tightly~ His suit that lightly allured to how magical his muscles have defined themselves from hundreds of hours at the gym but still loose enough to leave soo much to the cock twitching imagination. There was a reason he came by here almost every day and it was not for a rematch.
'Complete contrast of sexiness.' Eren began.
Levi…dark beauty….Erwin light beauty…Dark, light, dark,light,dark,liiight, dark~ liight~ arrgghhhhh their sexiness is awakening the dormant estrogen within me.' Eren thought consumed by sexual frustration. Hanging his head down in defeat as he pulled up a chair sitting on the plushie yellow stool at the breakfast bar which over looked the kitchen.
"Brat what's wrong?" Levi asked concerned listening to Eren whimper and fake crying lowly to himself.
"Life isn't fair." He mumbled his voice was muffled since he was face planted on the bamboo countertops.
"You're a white straight male in a first world nation don't complain." Levi snarled setting down a bowl of soup for Eren, Erwin and himself.
Eren was going to respond but Erwin walked in holding a folder, failing to contain his excitement that was spilling out the contours of his body. 'but…I'm gay….' He thought.
"Levi good news." He began the deepness within his voice a s firm and confidant as ever, Eren quickly took the time to admire his neatly pulled back hair the blonde's strong jawline structure and those high cheek bones kyaaaa~
'Make my cock throb.' Eren thought shivering missing the first half of the older men's conversation.
"This is the picture they sent us of the child we will be adopting tomorrow." Erwin continued showing the photo of the cute little ebony infant paper clipped to the folder.
"His hair, I am excited to run my fingers through his curly little n***** naps."
"…"
"….."
"…..."
"Levi what did you just say?!" Erwin asked completely caught off guard shocked and bewildered, him and Eren in utter disbelief after what word so casually slipped out of his lips.
"N***** naps, you know that nappy hair…n**-
"Don't say that word damn it!" Erwin panicked his head snapping toward the door as Eren's mouth hung open.
"N*****?" Levi repeated again rising eye brow.
"LEVI!" Eren and Erwin both yelled flinching suddenly.
"Keep saying that word and a spontaneous hoard of black fist will come hurdling down on us." Eren frowned speaking between very tense and gritted teeth.
"You can't just nonchalantly say that word, where are your senses?" Erwin asked firmly the discontent in his voice very apparent as he went toward the door ensuring the door was lock so no majestic afro samuri looking muther fucker was gonna come busting his ashy black ass through the door. Sword unsheathed with a throbbing bbc (big black cock) erected and ready to deal out some serious punishment.
"Amongst my comrade you were respected if you use the N word." Levi defended himself watching Erwin remove his navy blue jacket and black tie undoing the first few buttons exposing his thick throat and the budding stems of facial hair.
Levi eyes darted to the exposed skin as he breathed in sharply.
"Levi you're not on base anymore, you know better it is not appropriate to use that word. Refrain from using that word in the future." Erwin said coldly bring the silver spoon to his lips blowing softly.
From that point on Eren lead most of the conversation but had to leave shortly after getting a phone call from Mikasa who was checking up on him. She did not like that he spent so much time at Levi's house it meant less time she got with him. So of course the selfish bitch started barking at him to return home. Not like Eren had much of a choice this women would find and drag him by the balls back to their mom's house, if his ball skin was too tender about to tear she would quickly snitch the skin until it was secure then tie a knot. She would ignore the blood curling screams as he twisted and turned from the agonizing torture. Eren only knows this because she explained it to him in great detail….this is the summary of her ball wrangling speech.
Erwin and Levi chuckled to themselves listening to Eren argue with his step sister as he bidded them goodbye heading to he door, then turning to each other with a sly grimace on their face.
"He's coming tomorrow." Erwin began.
"I would like to cum today." Levi teased.
"This will be the last day we can have free range and unrestricted sex, with little to no worries of interruptions." Erwin cooed running his slender finger through the silkiness of his blonde locks messing up his otherwise perfectly pulled back hair which was now in a sexy disarray. Levi let out a long purr. Staring at the 6 buttons still yet to be unbuttoned. Walking around the breakfast bar he sat on the counter now at a slightly higher eye level then his lover's. All while those salty sea blue eyes stalked his every movement.
"Kiss me." Levi whispered trailing his fingertips along the edges of Erwin's jaw. The blonde did not have to hear those needy words uttered twice, clasping his hand on the hips of Levi he stood up pulling him closer so Levi's legs hung at both side of his waist. The passion of the kiss grew rapidly it was a fierce fight for dominance as their tongues pushed against each other in a slippery tangle. Tasting the lingering saltiness of the Greek chicken soup that slide down their throats not too long ago.
"More." Levi whispered pulling at Erwin's shirt button impatiently. He wanted to just him feel him, his muscle, no his body, thrusting forward as a cohesive unit, while his muscle twitched and pulsed independently under the firmness of the skin that restrained them. Erwin smiled in the kiss leaning deeper into the making the kiss sloppy, saliva leaked of the corner of their lips. Erwin broke it off need a break for air.
The pair stared at each other lustfully, both stopping to admire the slutty face they were making at other. Face red and flustered, skin aroused and sensitive, pants currently too small to accommodate the serpent that attempted to thrash about from within its restrains.
"Right here." Levi demanded referring to the counter shifting back from Erwin. Because right now he had a bugle that seriously needed attending too. Erwin smiled climbing on the counter beginning to suck on the bulge through his jeans as his icy cold fingers ghosted their way up Levi's shirt who in response threw his head back his body begging for this level of attention.
Erwin reached for Levi's shirt pulling it off his body before standing up unbuttoning the remaining buttons of his shirt giving Levi a bit of a show, letting the cotton cloth slide off his shoulder biting his plump lips staring into his lovers steel grey eyes the entire time.
Like magic the zipper of Levi's pants slide down and slowly his pants button was undone. Levi was exposed with his shirt slightly lifted up revealing his soft ivory skin and a thin trail of hair guiding your eyes downward to what was really important.
Erwin grinned climbing onto the counter that hung off of the original base of the structure. He was unbuckling his own pants until they both heard a crack.
"What was that?" They both look at each other, alarmed and cautious but with no repeat of the sound the eventually continued. The second time there was no warning, the overhanging counter broke from underneath them they both fell down to the floor scattered with shattered pieces of wood.
'Arghh fuck." Levi cursed they shouldn't had hired that sketchy contractor to finish their kitchen counters. Counter destroyed, erections have receded back into the warm confide of their bodies with both men startled which has replace lustfully stared that would normally cloud ones judgement…..please don't let this be a precedence to what may cum/come ahead.
Didn't think it would be this long…
P.S. If you don't know what the N word is look up what is the N-word….but if you say it out loud make sure there are no black people around….I am seriously… they will jump your punk ass…..
Since my love Universal Sweetheart helped me on this I gotta give her the credit she deserves thanks 3
S.R.
