(Note: Say hello to the patented Backwards Line. It's somewhere in there. You'll spot it because it looks like a bunch of gibberish. And yeah, I am kind of bashing Axel in this chapter, because I hate him with a burning passion to rival the fires of the sun. ...No pun intended with the 'burning passion' thing. But he's a moron.)

"So, Sora," said the guy in the black cloak. "Did you enjoy your memories?"

"They were okay," Sora said, shrugging. "So, are you back to offer to sell me something completely useless, Mr. Traveling Salesman?"

"No. No I am not. I don't sell anything. Gosh. You just don't learn."

"Boo!" said some guy with bright red hair styled back in spikes. He had stupid hair, that's what kind of hair he had.

"AH! Another salesman!" Sora yelled.

"What do you want?" groaned the first man.

"I got bored," said the second, shrugging. "And what does he mean by 'another salesman'?"

"It's uhh... complicated," the first lied. "But perhaps you would like to test him...?"

"Perhaps I would!" said the second with a hint of a bad attitude. In other words, he did it childishly.

"Fine. Be that way," said the first man, then he disappeared.

The second man turned to Sora. "Well, it looks like the job of director has been shifted to me, Keyblade master. The name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

"A-wha?"

"Good enough." He shrugged and held out his hands. In a burst of flame his weapons appeared in his hands. "Now that we're on a first-name basis an' all... don't you go dyin' on me!"

Then they fought TO THE DEATH and Sora won. Yay.

Sora looked around. There were some cards lying on the spot where Axel had disappeared, and he picked them up. There were more pictures on them. "Eee! Prettier pictures!"

"More cards?" Goofy asked, scratching his head under his hat.

"They look kind of like the card that made Traverse Town," Jiminy observed.

"Then, uhh... they'll take us back to Traverse Town?"

Donald stared at him, then said, "Nooooooo, we need these to go to other worlds. To find the King."

"And Riku?"

"Neh. Maybe."

"Correct-a-mundo," came Axel's voice as he appeared out of nowhere.

"Axel!" Donald gasped.

"What, after an introduction like that, you think I'd give up the ghost?"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Sora asked with a 'wtf' look. "You were just testing our strength?"

"Congratulations, Sora," said Axel sarcastically, clapping. "You get an A-plus. Follow your memories and trust what you remember, seek what you forget... and you may just find the person you're looking for."

"You mean Riku and the King?" Goofy asked.

Axel shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe." He then smiled as though he knew something that they didn't. "You'll just have to give some more thought to who's most important to you. Our most precious memories lie deep within our farce, out of reach..." He smiled and put a hand to his heart. "But you can find yours, Sora."

"GASP! How?" Sora asked like an eager beaver.

"The light within the darkness. You have lost sight of it, Sora. You've forgotten forgetting."

Sora was silent for a moment, then made a face. "Well that makes no sense at all."

"Do I need to give you a hint?"

"N...no, I want to figure it out for myself. In about thirty years. Call me when I'm out of college, I'll have it figured out by then. You will anyway--you look like the phone salesman type."

"Salesman?" Axel gained a 'wtf' look. "Umm... That aside, that's the kind of answer I wanted. Just what I was expecting from the Keyblade master. But be aware, that when your sleeping memories awaken, you may no longer be yourself. So long." With that, he disappeared.

A few seconds later...

"Hrmm..." Jiminy 'hrmm'd thoughtfully.

"What's the matter, Jiminy?" Sora asked.

"What Axel said... it's bothering me to no end," Jiminy confessed. "What did he mean by 'you may no longer be yourself?'"

"He said that? I wasn't really paying attention... But anyway. How can I be anyone besides me?"

"Your two-year-old intellect is somehow wise, spiky-haired one," Jiminy said reflectively. "But still, it always pays to be careful."

"Gawrsh, he's right, Sora! Just about anything can happen here in Castle Oblibbity-jibber-watsit," Goofy said.

"Oblivion!" Donald corrected him loudly.

"Right, that's what I said, Donald!"

"Ah, you guys worry too much," Sora said, waving them off. "Whatever they're cooking up, we can handle it. You know. Despite my obvious disadvantage because you guys are cards most of the time an' all."

"Hey, remember that other castle we explored together?" Goofy asked with an oblivious smile. "The one with all them contraptions?"

They all reminisced but found nothing to reminisce about.

"And this was when...?" Sora asked, confused.

"'Contraptions'? I don't remember anything like that..." Donald said. "What was it called?"

"Gawrsh, what was it called? Hollow... Haller... Maybe it started with a 'Z'?" He was silent for a few seconds, then gave them both a distressed look. "Aw, gawrsh! I forgot."

"Goofy, are you sure your Disney-brand imagination's not running wild?" Sora asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm... I'm sure it's not," Goofy said. "I think..."

With that, they entered the next doorway to another world. Or memory. Whatever.

Agrabah

"Look, Sora!" Goofy said, pointing at a guy surrounded by Farceless. "Someone's in trouble!"

"Go go Power Rangers!" said the Power Rangers, appearing out of nowhere.

"What?" Sora asked.

"I don't know," said the Red Ranger, then disappeared with the other Power Rangers to wherever it is that Power Rangers go.

"Sora, control your memories," Donald snapped, smacking Sora with his wizardin' staff.

"I... I'm sorry..." Sora trailed off, looking somewhat mesmerized while also managing to look a little embarrassed. "I was a Power Rangers kid."

"We couldn't tell," Donald said sarcastically. "Anyway. Back to the guy in trouble!" He cleared his throat. "We'd better do something!"

They ran up to the guy surrounded by Farceless and got ready to FIGHT! "Looks like you could use some help," Sora said like a corn-ball.

"Thanks!" said the guy. "For a second I thought I was done for..."

So they fought the Farceless (that is, SORA fought the Farceless), and once that particular group was good and dead, another popped up to try their hand at a fight. Wee. I'm making no sense.

"They just keep coming!" Donald complained. You know. Even though he hasn't done anything. Not really, anyway.

"Guess we'd better see if the legends are true," said Aladdin because you should know that by now. He pulled a lamp out of nowhere and held it up. "Magic lamp! Get rid of these Farceless!"

Did Aladdin even know what the Farceless were before Sora came to Agrabah? And if Aladdin's an illusion right now, and since illusions don't seem to remember anything, would he really know that they were indeed called Farceless? Or is Aladdin immune to the 'illusions can't remember' rule? Damn it, Aladdin! You're confusing me.

"Did someone say WISH?" Genie asked flamboyantly, appearing in a burst of blue smoke.

"...No."

Genie either did not hear Aladdin or ignored him. I don't know. Probably the second one. "Then stand back, kids! Genie of the Lamp comin' through!" He rolled up his imaginary sleeves. "One Farceless disappearing act, coming right up!"

He lifted his arms to the heavens and everything got all dramatic (thunder crashed, lighting struck in the distance, the wind picked up, and black clouds rolled in), and just as the music that had started playing in the background reached its crescendo, the Farceless disappeared...

...in unitimidating puffs of blue smoke. Just like that.

Gone.

"Now, if it was that simple, why didn't you do it to begin with?" Donald asked with his hands on his hips.

"Well, that's just it. It's not that simple. See--"

"Let me explain, Al," Genie said, shoving the man aside. "I'm limited to three wishes per master."

"What? Can't you just wish for more wishes?" Sora asked.

"Well, yes, you can. But to make it fair..." He turned to Aladdin. "NO. No wishing for more wishes."

"Aww, maaaan," Aladdin groaned, snapping his fingers in disappointment.

"Don't you 'aww, maaaan' the Genie of the Lamp," Genie said, ghetto-snapped, then disappeared off the face of the earth or something to that effect.

"So you've got two wishes left, huh?" Sora asked. He grew excited. "If I were you, I'd wish for a pony!"

"A pony?" Aladdin asked. "What's that?"

"A little horse! I've always wanted a pony..."

"Sora, are you sure you're mentally stable?" Donald asked.

"Geez, what kind of question was that, Donald?" Sora said, looking offended. "That was more offensive than anything I've ever said." He was silent for a moment. "Uhh, anyway... I think it might be. Does calling your best friend a gay-wad count?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Then never mind. I've said a lot more offensive things than that."

"ANYWAY!" said the rest of the world.

"I've gotta get back to the palace somehow," Aladdin said. He sighed an over-exaggerated sigh and looked helpless. "But with all these Farceless..."

"Gawrsh, well, we're headed that way too!" Goofy said as if it were some big coincidence. He turned to his pals. "How's about we help Aladdin get there, fellas? A-hyuck."

"Headed for the palace? Since when?" Donald asked.

"Yeah, I don't remember that in our plans for the day," Sora agreed.

But Aladdin had heard what he had wanted to hear. "You guys don't have to do that for me. But thanks for doing it anyway! Come on, let's go before we're like, killed or something."

Some time later...

"So, uh, why are you goin' to the palace, Aladdin?" Goofy asked as they made their way to the palace.

"It's this magic lamp I found in the Cave of Wonders," Aladdin explained. "I need to get it back to the palace. I'm surprised I wasn't ripped limb-from-limb by the Farceless back there! Cuz the cave was crawling with them."

"Didn't you have a safety buddy or something to help?" Sora asked, surprised that Aladdin would indeed travel without his safety buddy. That was just ludicrous and unheard of!

To Sora, anyway.

"Oh, I know just how you feel, Master," Genie said, sighing and sounding kind of like a gossiping woman. "I've been delivering happiness for about a dozen-score and yet I've got no help at all. I keep dreamin' that someday I'll be outta this gig, but so far that hasn't happened. ...Obviously."

Aladdin was silent for a moment. "Well... how about I use my third wish to free you?"

Genie gasped. "GASP! You would do that? For little ol' me? I'm so flattered!"

(.enil taht gnisu saw enoemos esuaceb eruzies a dah lexA ,erehwemos dnA)

"Yeah, well it's a promise, Genie," Aladdin said with a smile. "Anyway... there's really only one thing I want."

"Then we'll just have to do something about that, Al!" Genie said excitedly. "So, what'll it be? Fame? Fortune? A herd of luxury camels to call your own... or perhaps a harem of beautiful Final Fantasy women?"

"Well, that last one is tempting..." The man shook his head. "No, what am I saying? There's only one girl for me! ...Sigh. But she's a princess. See, it's hard for a guy like me to see her. Except on Tuesdays. But that's how this all started. Jafar, the royal vizier, said that he'd help me see Jasmine."

"Sounds like your wish should be that you can see Jasmine any time you want, huh?" Sora asked.

"You're in luck, Al! Today at Genie's Discount Wishes, we have a special on social makeovers." Genie smiled and patted Aladdin on the back. "You'll not only get the girl, but you'll do so in style... as Prince Ali! How does it sound, little buddy?"

Aladdin's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked in almost a whisper, a childlike look on his face.

"In an Agrabah minute!" came the bad pun that was Genie's reply.

"Sora, let's hurry to the palace!" He held his scimitar onwards.

(insert Batman theme and cutaway)

"GASP!" gasped Donald, pointing at a group of Farceless surrounding a huddled figure. "What the...? Look at that!"

"GASP!" gasped Aladdin, also pointing at the group of Farceless. "It's Jasmine!"

"She needs our help!" Goofy said valiantly.

"But... we'll never make it in time!" Sora cried forlornly.

Donald smacked him with his wizardin' staff and gave him a look. "Since when have you been a pessimist?"

"Since now," came Sora's immature reply.

"I guess I have no choice," sighed Aladdin. He picked up the lamp and rubbed it. "Genie, I wish for you to save Jasmine!"

Genie popped out of nowhere and made the Farceless disappear. Again. "Whoot-cha! How do you like them apples, boys?" He chuckled and flexed his muscles. "Jah, jah, Arnold Schwartzengenie."

"Stop it. Just stop it," Sora said. "You. Are. Not. Robin. Williams. Thus you are ultimately not nearly as funny!"

"Are you doubting Homer Simpson's acting abilities?" nobody in particular asked, then disappeared. He's back!

"Jasmine!" Aladdin yelled, running over to the lump that was Jasmine. Geez. She's either complaining or passing out. That sounded so bitchy. "Jasmine, don't die on me!"

"Gawrsh, she just passed out, Aladdin," Goofy said reassuringly, patting Aladdin on the back.

"But now you've only got one wish left..." Sora sighed. "Looks like there's no pony in your future, Aladdin..."

They all turned to their left, where another group of Farceless had come out of nowhere.

"Oh sh... Sorry, Genie, but this might be more important than me seeing Jasmine twenty-four/seven," Aladdin said. He paused and looked thoughtful. "Then again... if she wakes up in the next few seconds to witness my act of heroism, maybe she'd fall for me, and then we could see each other all the time with minimal effort!"

"But Genie would be doing all the work," Sora pointed out. "And it's your last wish."

"Well, uhh... physical pain is nowhere near as hurtful as emotional pain," Aladdin said like a fortune cookie and Sora entered battle with the Farceless with his card buddies helping him.

And he won, biznatch! Of course.

Sora leaned on his Keyblade and smiled. "See? We didn't need Genie for this one. We had it covered. We handled it with that minimal effort you were talking about. We--"

A bright flashing made them all look around.

Sora fell on his face. Not a face-fault--just the way he was leaning on the Keyblade made him fall over because if I were him I would be startled by random flashes in the vicinity, too. "What the-?" he said, but it was kind of muffled because he was eating dirt (figuratively) so it sounded kind of like, 'Mmrph fmah?'

"The lamp!" Aladdin gasped, slapping his cheeks in shock.

"Well, well, welly well," Jafar said, appearing out of nowhere. "It seems my plans have gone amiss. I was most certain you'd waste your last wish... what with poor Jasmine in distress and the Farceless dancing about." He held up the lamp. "But it matters not. At last, the lamp is mine to command!" He went into a random fit of maniacal laughter.

"Why are you doing this, Jafar?" Aladdin asked. "I brought you the lamp!"

"Don't think you can fool me, BOY!" Jafar snapped. "You were going to use the lamp to win Jasmine. But we cannot have that, can we? No, for it isn't you who Jasmine will marry. Nor is it anyone you know as a friend/acquaintance/safety buddy/escort/body-guard/magical creature. But before I reveal the mind-blowing answer, would you like to guess who it could be?" He smiled evilly.

"Umm... is it Goofy?" Sora asked.

"...No."

"It's you?" Aladdin asked, gaping in surprise.

"Of course! You don't think I'd let up this chance, did you?" He frowned. "You are dull if you didn't know I was an opportunist." He cleared his throat and gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "But I digress. If I marry Princess Jasmine, then nothing will stop me from becoming the new king of Agrabah. You were nothing more than a pawn on my proverbial chess board, street rat. You were jumped ages ago."

"That's checkers..." Sora said, making a face.

"Whatever." He rubbed the lamp. "Genie! My first wish! Deliver Jasmine to me!"

Genie complied.

"Genie! How could you?" Aladdin asked, devastated.

"Sorry, Al," Genie sighed. "My hands are tied on this one. I gotta obey whoever has his mitts on the lamp... good or bad."

"Exactly!" chuckled Jafar. "Farewell, fools!" He laughed maniacally again as Genie carried both Jafar and Jasmine out of the area. "Mwahahahaheeheeheehoohoo...hoo!"

Aladdin looked annoyed. "Great. Just GREAT. Now I've lost Jamsmine and the lamp." He sighed, pushing back his hair. It merely flipped back into his face. "Today's just not my day..."

Sora went into Inspirational Speech Mode. He put his hands on his hips and looked determined. "Well, you can feel sorry for yourself later. If you don't pull yourself together, then you might not ever see Jasmine ever again! So you lost the lamp--you don't need that lamp. You had the strength to defeat the Farceless all this time! It wasn't the lamp, it was you, Aladdin! It was YOU. You can still save Jasmine, you just have to believe!" He smiled. "Losing someone is hard, but never getting them back is even harder." He crossed his arms. "So what are we going to do?"

"We're uh... going to go get the lamp back?"

"No! We're going to save Jasmine WITHOUT the lamp," Sora corrected him.

"Well, we can't just walk up to Jafar and say, 'let us win' and expect him to actually do it," Donald said skeptically.

"Maybe we can," Aladdin said, rubbing his chin. "Listen up. I've got a plan..."

Some time later...

Sora and friends (Donald and Goofy) approached Jafar.

"What's this?" Jafar chuckled. "Has the BOY given up on his precious Jasmine so soon? Well, I'm not going to waste my wishes on the likes of you three. I shall deal with you myself..."

"Aladdin, NOW!" Sora yelled.

Aladdin came out of nowhere and ran for Jafar...

A few seconds later...

Sora and his Disney companions were hanging over a lava pit, tied together with a rope that dangled from the ceiling.

"Well, I guess it would've been better if Aladdin had actually explained the plan," Sora said thoughtfully. "Because that didn't work. At all."

"You foolish street rat," Jafar sneered from a cliff above. "Did you honestly believe that you could defeat me and/or reclaim the lamp so easily?" He laughed.

"A-HA!" said Aladdin, managing to wriggle his hand out of the ropes that bound him and pointing a finger at Jafar. "Yes, but little do you realize that I just made you waste your second wish! Joke's on you, Jafar!"

Jafar stopped laughing, frowning and narrowing his eyes at Aladdin. "I should have expected as much from a street rat. But little do you realise that I still have one more wish on me. So now I can crush you once and for all, AND take Jasmine as my minor of a bride. Genie!" He held up the lamp again. "My last wish: I wish I were an all-powerful genie!"

"Laaaaame," groaned Sora.

After a few more flashes, Jafar the All-Powerful Genie floated with his arms crossed above the lava-pit. Sora was standing on a platform that was directly under the genie.

"Okay! Well, I kinda wanted to let Aladdin do this, but... I guess I'll have to beat you," Sora said, readying the Keyblade.

"You guess you'll have to beat me?" boomed Jafar. He laughed. "Hahaha! You are a mere splatter on my windshield! Or, you will be when I'm done with you..."

"Bring it on!" Sora said, making the corresponding motion with his hand. Jafar leaned down and flicked Sora away with a giant finger. "Argh!" He landed on the edge of the platform and whimpered. "I'm sorry-hee-hee!"

Somehow Sora's flow of estrogen stopped at that precise moment and he got up and managed to beat Jafar. Even though it's statistically impossible. Oh well. Square (plus) logic (equals) huh?

"That takes care of that," Donald said with an air of finality.

"You didn't even do anything," Sora said bluntly.

"Uhh, yes I did?"

"Jasmine's saved and we got the lamp back," Aladdin said, looking extremely proud and also looking like he had done an extremely hard day's work. "And I still have one wish left, too."

Genie smiled. "Yep! Time to make a prince outta you, Al," Genie said. He then looked depressed. "But man, it sure would be nice to be free... Like that say, 'genies can't be choosers'. So choose what's in your farce, Al--I understand if you don't want to set me free and all. Wish for what your farce's yelling for you to."

"Since when does farce do that?" Sora asked with a 'wtf' look.

"Since now!"

"Okay, here goes..." Aladdin then took one of the longest and most dramatic pauses in the history of forever. "I wish... for your freedom, Genie!"

Genie's wristbands disappeared and legs popped out of his waist. "GASP! But Al!"

"Now no one like Jafar can use you for evil ever again," Aladdin said, smiling.

"But... what about Jasmine? What are you going to do about that?" Genie asked, despite the fact that he liked being free. But he was being polite.

Some generic 'I learned my lesson' music started up in the background. "I was wrong, Genie," Aladdin said. "If I used your help to win Jasmine, would I not be just stealing Jafar's idea? He might have copyrighted it. But Jasmine means the world to me. I want to show her the real me." He put his hands on his hips and looked proud. "I know now that I don't need your help, Genie. If I want to get Jasmine I'll just do it myself."

"That's the spirit!" Sora said.

"Thanks, Sora," Aladdin thanked him. As an afterthought, he added, "Oh, and good luck."

"Say wha--?"

"Well, when I was really ready to give up, you gave that inspirational speech back there, and it kept me going. And that's when it hit me--you must be looking for someone you care about, too."

"Yeah, let's go with that," Sora said, gaining a shifty look.

"Hey, Genie..." Aladdin trailed off, turning to his big blue friend.

That makes me think of Paul Bunyon for some reason... Durn Canadian folk-lore.

"Say no more, little pal! I know exactly what you're thinking. Here you go, kiddo!" He tossed Sora a card.

"Wow, this is a great picture of you," Sora said.

"You really think so?" Genie asked, looking bashful. He batted his suddenly-girly eye-lashes. "I do believe that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day!"

"I told you this morning that you... hey, where's Abu?" Aladdin asked suddenly, looking around the area. No Abu was to be found.

Sora slapped his forehead. "Ooooh, yeeeeah! That's right!" He chuckled. "Abu sacrificed himself for the greater good the last time we..."

"What?"

"...we... we... uhh... did... stuff... yeah."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well, we'll be seein' ya," Sora said, walking off. "Or, you know, not. Come on, Donald and Goofy. We're leaving."