My apologies to everybody who has ever read this story. I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO sorry for such a long update period. I've just gone back to school so everything is rather hectic at the minute. I've had this chapter ready for a couple of days but i thought i'd upload it tonight because the new season is starting tonight (thought id let you know incase you happened to be one of the unfortunate people living under a rock). I hope you like this chapter, it is an exploration of her relationship/understanding with Maddie, like i said this isn't really a Rayna/Deacon romance story, I'll leave that to the rest of you. Please continue to review, favourite, follow, i appreciate it so much and feel free to PM me any developments you'd like to see.

-Enjoy, Phoebe xx

'Rayna will you just slow down a minute!' Bucky panted; trying to keep up to Rayna's pace as she marched through the hallway towards the elevator.

Rayna ignored his plea as she began to prod ferociously at the elevator button.

'C'mon,' she muttered under her breath, smoothing out her hair as she pretended not to look flustered by the bomb that had just been dropped on her lap. 'Buck,' Rayna sighed when she felt her manager's presence lingering behind her.

'Rayna thank god, I was not looking forward to sprinting down fifteen flights of stairs after you,' he laughed playfully.

Rayna shot him a look. 'Not in the mood Bucky.'

'Listen, we both knew that Deacon wouldn't exactly be up for coming back this soon. You'd be kidding yourself if you thought he would be.'

Looking down to her feet, Rayna fiddled with the hem of her shirt. She wasn't ready to talk about it to anyone yet. She needed to be alone; she needed time to sort out her life before she got involved in anyone else's. 'I have to go pick up the girls from Teddy's in an hour, can this chat wait 'til later?' she asked politely.

'Yes ma'am.' Bucky nodded, not wanting to cross the line. Rayna was his friend, but she was still his boss.

'Great, I'll call you later,' she waved, closing the elevator door behind her smiling until they shut completely.

Rayna exhaled deeply. 'Shit.'

- Teddy's house –

'Hi babies,' Rayna smiled, running up to her youngest daughter to pull her into a hug. The new custody was exhausting; Daphne took part in the usual, whilst Maddie would spend every other week with Rayna and the alternating weekend with Deacon. That had been Deacon's idea, so that he didn't have to see Rayna until he felt it was necessary; Rayna thought it was ridiculous.

'Hey mom,' Daphne beamed, absorbing the attention.

'Hey,' Maddie greeted flatly, facial expression not changing from the scowl she had mastered when the door had opened.

'Hey to you too.' Rayna cooed, looking towards Teddy for answers.

'What's up with her?' Rayna puzzled once both her daughters were out of ear shot.

'She's grounded.' Teddy responded grimly.

'Grounded? What happened?' Rayna stuttered. She hadn't even considered what Maddie being grounded would be like with the given custody arrangement, where would she even be grounded?

'I think it would be best for you to come inside…' Teddy opened the door and ushered Rayna in swiftly.

'Teddy…what are you doing? You do realise I've just gone back to work and im rather busy..'

'Sit down would you for a minute?' Teddy ordered quietly.

Usually Rayna would object but the emptiness in his eyes was ordering her to stay. 'Teddy what's wrong? I've never seen you like this.'

'Peggy's pregnant.' He whispered, grimacing as the words came out his mouth.

'What did you just say?' Rayna chocked, not sure if she heard correctly.

'Peggy's pregnant. I'm the father.' He bowed his head, clearly ashamed.

'Whaa-when did this happen? I thought you weren't seeing her anymore?' Rayna interrogated.

'Well she's about six months along now, so er we were separated and everything but…but Maddie found out today and didn't take it very well….'

'What do you mean didn't take it very well?' Rayna flinched, multiple scenarios running through her mind.

'You know, she's still very sensitive about finding out about Deacon-'

'I think we're all a bit sensitive about that' Rayna intercepted, covering her mouth gently after she realised what she said.

Teddy shifted uncomfortably on his toes, 'Yeah well, she just kept going on about how she was gonna lose a dad now that this baby was coming and that I couldn't love three children equally and that she isn't mine biologically so she is obviously gonna get neglected…or some over dramatic nonsense like that.' He sighed deeply, red from exerting all his frustration.

Rayna cocked her head to one side, furrowing her eyebrows as she thought carefully about what to say next. 'Well Teddy, she is hurting. We all are. But this time it's your job to reassure her, she already knows that I'm not going anywhere. I've already told her that you're still her dad. But have you told her? Like really sat down and talked about it since the week she found out?'

'Well what should I do? She was completely hysterical, calling me, and I quote "a man whore" because I got her pregnant when you and I were still married.' He panted, becoming redder.

Rayna flinched, hiding her initial amusement at her daughter's remark.

'Rayna this isn't funny.'

'I know, I know, she's going through a rough patch at the moment, I just think you should maybe focus on making her feel more secure before you bring a child into her life.' Rayna paused as she began to fiddle with her nails; she looked up to find Teddy's eyes focused on her. 'What?' she snapped.

'What's wrong?' he sighed.

'Nothing' Rayna lied.

'You're playing with your nails. You always do that when something is bothering you,' Teddy smirked.

'I do not!' Rayna retorted.

'Yes you do. You did it on the night you found out you were pregnant. You did it on the night we told the girls about the divorce and you did it on the night you told me about Dea-' he stopped speaking before he had chance to finish his name.

'I did it on the night I told you about Deacon,' Rayna finished his sentence, 'Right. I er, best be going, y'know I got to take the girls to practice then I gotta get a new band leader cos Deacon's gone rogue, probably out with Juliette or somethin'…'

'Out with Juliette? Haven't you heard?' Teddy's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

'Heard what?' Rayna stared.

'He's not out with Juliette, Rayna. Deacon isn't playing with anyone. He left the label because of his hand.' Teddy sighed.

'His hand?' Rayna gulped, not wanting Teddy to finish.

'Yeah. I thought you knew, he got, er I think it's called 'Klumpke Paralysis', I think it's something to do with the nerves in the forearm and the hand, it means that he-'

'-I know what it means Teddy.' Rayna intercepted flatly, unable to digest what she was hearing.

'Well that's why he left.'

'How could no one have told me?' Rayna gulped, searching the room with her glassy eyes, hoping that the answer would miraculously appear on Teddy's forehead.

'I'm sorry I thought you knew. I thought he would have told you.'

'We haven't spoken face to face in two months Teddy.' She spat bitterly.

'Did Maddie not tell you?'

'Evidently not.'

'I thought music was your bonding thing though?'

'So did i…apparently I was wrong.' Rayna grabbed her bag and rose, swiftly making her way to the front door.

'Rayna wait,' Teddy cried after her.

Rayna ignored his plea and continued on; she wouldn't let him see her tears, 'Thank you for having the girls Teddy. I shall speak with Maddie appropriately and have her dropped off at Deacon's.' Slamming the door behind her.

After a grim grocery shop, Rayna pulled into her driveway; thankful to have privacy for once. As soon as the car was in park, Daphne bolted into the house.

'Maddie?' Rayna called.

'Yeah?' Maddie sighed dramatically as she jumped out the Range Rover.

'Why didn't you tell me?' Rayna quizzed, her eyes bore into her eldest's.

'You mean you know?!' Maddie gasped in horror.

'Of course I know, your dad told me.' Rayna exhaled softly.

'He's not my dad.' Maddie uttered under her breath.

'Hey.' Rayna warned giving her daughter a knowing look.

'You know what I mean.' Maddie retorted.

'I don't actually. I've given you this space so you can work out your feelings but it doesn't seem to be helping Maddie. And I don't know what to do anymore.' Rayna pleaded with her daughter.

'Oh for god's sake mom, I didn't tell you about Deacon's hand 'cause I didn't want you to get hurt!' she cried.

'Excuse me?' Rayna was taken aback.

'You heard me…'

Rayna moved closer to her daughter, bending down so she could search her expression to see where they stood. 'Why on earth would you think it would hurt me?'

'Because.'

'Because?'

'Because whenever you and Deacon are together something bad happens. The car accident. Dad and Peggy, Me… even being born.' She sobbed.

'Maddie Conrad, why would you ever say that you being born was bad? You are the best thing that ever happened to me.' She smiled, wiping away her daughter's tears.

'Better than Daphne?' Maddie snapped.

'No, but different. You brought me your dad, who gave me Daph. You know, I wouldn't have her if I didn't have you.' She smiled. 'But I don't want you to worry about Deacon, we're obviously not gonna be spending much time together, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about; I'm not going anywhere.' Rayna smiled sympathetically.

'What do you mean you "won't be spending time together"? I thought he was your boyfriend?' Maddie puzzled.

'Well honey, it's just that, Deacon isn't himself right now-'

'He's normal with me.' Maddie interjected.

Rayna could tell this was going to be difficult, she knew she couldn't pull the whole "it's really grown up stuff" mantra again, not after what it had caused last time. 'What I meant to say was; Deacon and I. Us. Ourrelationship. It's not the same, and it probably never will be the same, but we love you so so much and that's what matters. I just, I can't take the risk of the up and down relationship, I don't want to have any negativity in our lives from now on.'

Maddie stared at her mother blankly, clearly trying to absorb all this information.

'So you think Deacon brought negativity into our lives?' She mused.

'No, honey, that's not what I meant. Deacon is a dark place, and for now, he isn't someone I can be in a relationship with. Not until the rest of my life goes back to normal.' Rayna sighed, voice breaking at the realisation of what she had just said.

'So you're not boyfriend and girlfriend then?' Maddie cocked her head in confusion.

'Not right now, no honey.' Rayna smiled meekly.

'I just thought it would be nice for us all to be a family, but y'know…'

'I know baby. Don't tell your sister though; I want to be the one to break the news.' Rayna patted her daughter gently on the head.

'Don't worry mom, seriously, if two people are meant to be together, they'll come back to one another eventually.' Maddie grinned at her mother as she helped unload the shopping from the boot.

Rayna jilted her head, eyebrows raised at her daughter. 'And just where did you hear that my little Apostles?'

'It's just something I heard Juliette tell Deacon.' She shrugged, heading into the house.

Rayna's jaw dropped; the bag of groceries along with it.