A/N: I still do not own Codename: Kids Next Door. I also do not own Shakespeare's Richard III. This is not for profit, etc. I do however, own Nathaniel Eddington and cronies.

I figure the Teen Ninjas could have groups at different schools, so I've created a local group. Also, my ice-cream parlor is run by men who will serve ice-cream to both teens and adults.

Nathaniel Eddington (1), the most popular boy at Russell Middle School, strode to the front of the nearly empty classroom. Five teens were sitting in desks, watching him. Hand picked, the best of the best. The most loyal, the most trusted members of the group who had been in this branch of the Teen Ninjas the longest.

"My fellow teens! Today is a glorious day! Today I reveal to you our plan that will break the Kids Next Door. They will be crushed by embarrassment! Defeated by shame! Trounced by the indignity of it all!"

The five listeners cheered.

"Fellow teens, I present THE PLAN!"

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Numbah Five dropped onto the couch with a heavy sigh. It had been a long three weeks since she and Numbah One had been assigned to work with each other. It was not easy attempting to revive friendships with former Kids Next Door operatives.

"That bad?" Nigel inquired kindly, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah. You know Kuki, Numbah One. Numbah Five knew this was comin', but even she didn't realize Kuki would become so... so..."

"Girly?" Nigel offered.

"Not just that. She's become the stereotypical teenage girl. Clothes, make-up, boys..." Numbah Five shuddered. "And yet she's still the same some how. Numbah Five can see that Kuki's havin' a hard time fitting in with the Teen Ninjas. Kuki's just too happy-go-lucky."

"I guess some things never change."

They both smiled.

"So what have you decided about Kuki?" Numbah One asked, feeling as though he probably already knew the answer.

"Numbah Five can't do it. Numbah Five's been trying these past three weeks, trying to be friends with Kuki but we just don't have enough in common anymore. " She rubbed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I understand completely Numbah Five." Numbah One's voice quavered.

"Got something in my eye" Numbah One muttered, turning away.

There was a long silence.

"Numbah Five's been getting along okay with Wally" she announced, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "He's in Numbah Five's P.E. class."

Numbah One raised an eyebrow. "How is that working out?"

Numbah Five started laughing "Poor Wally. He manages to mess everything up most of the time. Numbah Five is on his soccer team, and yesterday he was so excited when he got the ball, he didn't look where he was going and scored on our own goal."

Nigel shook his head. "Poor Wally. You can't say he's not enthusiastic. How many after school sports has he tried now?"

"Three, Numbah Five thinks. Whatever else people say about him, he's got a lot of courage to keep trying."

"Maybe his coordination will catch up with his enthusiasm soon. "

"Numbah Five's gonna get a root beer? You want one?"

"Absolutely."

"Hey. Numbah Five didn't know her mom got ice-cream!" She called. "You want a float?"

"Of course! That is even better! Thanks."

Numbah Five returned carrying two enormous root-beer floats.

"Hey, did anybody tell you about the big meeting Nathaniel held today? Numbah Five guesses since we're so new, they don't know enough about us to trust us with that kind of thing."

"Sadly, other than that a meeting occurred, no. Apparently it's on a need-to-know basis, and I don't qualify. I'm working on it though, and I've alerted the Kids Next Door."

"Have you tried asking Wally, or Hoagie?"

"Yes. Neither of them knew any more about it than I did. I'd have known if they were lying to me. I presume Kuki knew nothing?"

"You're right."

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"My fellow teens, the plan is simple. I have instructions on how to make a substance that will, when it encounters an individual under the age of thirteen, cause thick, furry hair to grow all over their bodies. This effect will last five days before wearing off. They will look, like the little monkeys we have always known them to be."

He paused as the other teens laughed.

"As you know, the kids carnival at Gallagher Elementary school is in ten days time. As I am sure you know, our eight grade spring dance is that same Friday night. We will volunteer to fill the balloons for the carnival. We will release this substance, which we have made, into the balloons that will decorate the carnival. Half an hour after the carnival begins, we will remotely pop the balloons. It is a perfect plan, and gives us a perfect alibi, because we will be at our dance. We will bring one of our large, portable monitors to the dance, and watch as the Kids Next Door turn into hairy little apes!"

Applause thundered through the classroom.

"On Monday I will invite the entire eighth grade to come to the dance and watch our glorious defeat of the Kids Next Door!"

More cheering ensued. When it had quieted, one girl asked: "It won't adversely affect the adults, will it?"

"Of course not." Nathaniel snapped. "It will only affect the snot-nosed kids."

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"Have you memorized the speech yet for Ms. Wayne's class?"

Numbah One made a face into his root beer. "No, not entirely. I wish she had picked two speeches from the Richard III. It's a little weird for the guys to be doing a woman's speech."

Numbah Five shrugged. "Yeah, but it's a pretty good speech. Queen Margaret telling off all those nobles. There is as much anger and passion as any of the male speeches."

"I suppose so. Who knows how the minds of teachers work."

"Want to practice with me? Maybe it'll be more interesting if we work together."

"Sure."

Numbah Five ran and got her book.

"Okay, why don't you start, Numbah One."

"Here goes nothing" Numbah One began. (2)

"What, were you snarling all before I came,

ready to catch each other by the throat,

and turn you all your hatred now on me?

Did York's dread curse prevail so much with heaven

That Henry's death, my lovely—"

Numbah One stood, with his eyes squeezed shut, hands clenched, lips moving soundlessly. After a moment he looked up. "I can't remember the rest of it.," he admitted. "Let me have the book and you continue."

Numbah Five took a deep breath.

"That Henry's death, my lovely Edward's death,

Their kingdom's loss, my woeful banishment,

Should all but answer for that peevish brat?

Can curses pierce the clouds and enter heaven?

Why then, give way false clouds to my hard curses!"

"It's Why then, give way dull clouds to my quick curses!"

"Oh. Okay then. Numbah Five thinks we both have some practicin' to do."

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"I have picked the five of you because you are the best and most loyal members of our section of the Teen Ninjas. I trust you not to breathe a word to anyone about the exact nature of what we are doing. I'm sure you understand. The more people who know, the more likely that the Kids Next Door will find out. You are to reveal nothing about this meeting. I, and I alone will make the general announcement on Monday, after that, you may repeat what I tell them, but nothing more. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes!" they chorused.

"Good. Now, James and Arnold, you are going to be creating the substance and pumping it into the balloons. Melissa, you are going to tell the adults of our desire to help out, and you will collect the ingredients we need to create the substance. Logan, I want you to buy the balloons, we'll need fifty of them, and while you're at it, since you're the head of the dance committee, get us the decorations for our party. I'd like silver and gold balloons for us. Eliza, you're going to help me adapt our current technology to make sure the detonation process goes off without a hitch. And remember, be proud that you are part of the select team that will be responsible for the utter humiliation of the KND. James and Arnold, please stay for a moment. Everyone else is dismissed."

The other three filed out of the room. When the door was shut and locked, Nathaniel turned to the two remaining boys.

"What I'm about to tell you" he began, in a low voice. "does not leave this room. Understand?"

They nodded.

"There is a slight problem with the substance. If it touches a teenager, it will cause them to lose all the hair on their head. It will begin to grow again after five days, but it will not grow any faster than it normally does. I don't have to tell you to be extremely cautious when dealing with this substance."

He ran a hand through his curly brown locks.

"I don't know about you, but I'd like to keep my hair."

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Three Days Later

"I have never been so glad for a week to end! Six tests in two days! Our teachers are crazy!"

"Definitely."

"Want to get some ice-cream?"
"You know Abby never turns down ice cream. Race you there?"

"Sure!"

Abby had already started off, however.

"Hey, no fair!"

He chased her down two streets and around the corner. Abby was pretty fast, but so was Nigel.

"I'm gaining on you!" he yelled.

At that, she ran even faster.

Gasping for breath, they burst through the ice-cream parlor doors at the same time. The man behind the counter frowned at them.

"No running or horseplay inside my store, children," he informed them icily.

Nigel drew himself up straight. "We are not children, sir, we are teenagers. How dare you make such an insinuation?"

"Teenagers you may be, but you are acting like children."

Nigel made to say something but Abby beat him to it.

"We are so sorry sir. We will order our cones and leave, won't we Nigel?" She looped her arm in his. "I'll have a double chocolate sugar cone."

"Erm, I'll have one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of chocolate, in a sugar cone."

They paid for their cones, and strolled out of the parlor and down the street.

"What was that all about?"

"Num-Nigel, he was accusing us of being children. The longer we argued, the worse it was going to get. We were acting like children."

"You almost called me by my—Mmnph!"

Abby had clapped her hand over his mouth. She turned to face him, the ice cream in her other hand wobbling dangerously.

"Yes, Abby almost did" she hissed angrily. "And you nearly achieved the same effect just now."

Her ice cream toppled off and hit the ground with a splat, spraying both of them.

"Now look what you've done!" She stormed over to the trashcan and threw away the cone.

"How is that my fault?"

"What do you mean, how is that your fault? If you hadn't screwed up—"

"You started it!"

"Now we're back where we started! Being childish again. Well I'm going home Nigel Uno! I don't have to put up with you!"

"Oh yeah? Well I don't have to put up with you either!"

"Fine. Go play with your little girlfriend!"

"I can't!" he bellowed after her.

Numbah Five stopped just long enough to shout back: "Why? Is she busy? Am I supposed to feel sorry because your schedules don't match up?"

"No!" he stopped. "No" he repeated, more in a normal tone this time. "I can't go play we with her because we broke up—rather I broke up with her."

Silence.

Nigel sat down on a relatively clean bit of sidewalk, suddenly exhausted. He pulled up his knees, crosses his arms, and lay his head down. After a few moments he heard footsteps moving towards him.

"Abby's so sorry" she whispered, crouching down beside him.

"Don't be," he muttered, raising his head to look at her. "It was over a long time ago anyways, I realize that now."

An arm tentatively wrapped around his shoulders.

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Abby's sorry she lost her temper with you earlier."

"I'm sorry too."

"Abby hopes you know she'll always be there for you. Even if we get angry at each other sometimes, Abby couldn't ever be angry with you for long. Your Abby's best friend."

"Thank you." he spoke quietly.

She straightened up, and offered him a hand. He took it gratefully. When they were standing she wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug.

"I'll remember," he promised.

A/N

(1) I borrowed Nathaniel's last name from Michael Eddington, a minor re-occurring character on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

(2) The speech they are practicing comes from Richard III, Act One, scene iii.