You read the disclaimer already, I shouldn't have to write another. You know what I own and don't own... in this case, I don't own anything, really... except the plot, I guess you could say. So that's about it. Lets get this damn thing started!

Super-Ultra-Mega Punker Jamboree!: Yea, I'd Like A Fuzzy Navel...

As Travis sped down the city streets on his Schpeltiger, he kept the SUV in his sights, so he wouldn't lose them. Actually, it seemed like Samus was trying to lose him, anyway. After a rather hurried chase through the streets and whatnot, they finally make it to the bar. Travis looked up at it, with confusion in his eyes... jeez, it looked weird. It looked more like a giant crazy rocket ship, or diner. Were they really gonna go in that place!?

"C'mon, get a move on, if you're coming." Samus said to him simply, as she and the guys walked past him.

Travis snapped out of his indecision, and followed in, mumbling "What the fuck is with this place, anyway?"

As he stepped in, Samus told him simply "Actually, Olimar owns this place. That's why it's the way it is..."

When he looked around, the place was actually freakin' huge, and dark and dusky like a bar should be. He saw many crazy, colorful people doing many things he thought Nintendo would not condone. Well, Captain Falcon and Marth went over to Wario, and they all started slamming down some shots that Wario had ordered for them all beforehand. Link of course started talking with Zelda, who already looked like she was plastered. Of course that would mean if Link kept his head clear and mostly alcohol free, he'd be able to gracefully get her into the sack. Ganondorf just went and sat at the bar, ordering what looked like... an appletini. Jeez, never woulda guessed that.

"Welp... think i'll go get something myself..." Travis said coolly...

He went to the bar, and sat on one of the stools... he then ordered scotch on the rocks... and pretty much sat back, turning around and looking at everyone. There was Sonic and Mario, who were sitting at the edge of the bar, slamming them down, Tails there pestering Sonic, himself...

"Sonic... aren't you like... 15 or 16? That is NOT legal..." Tails whined and bitched...

Sonic gave Tails a rather scornful look, and said "Shut up, Tails, really no age limit here. Now shut up and have a drink."

With that, Sonic shoved shot-glass after shot-glass of straight vodka at Tails, who would look at them distastefully, and slam them down, his face puckering. Of course if Tails was allowed to be around, Amy was around too... she was slinking around the bar, keeping tight tabs on Sonic, to see if she could get a drunken Sonic into the act of agreeing to be her man. See, getting Sonic in bed wasn't the hard part, it was tricking him into committing. That's the hard part with most dudes, actually. On another note, Luigi was wafting around the dusky stale air, eyes low and bloodshot, as he was making deals here and there. Brother's shadow my ass. Luigi be makin' that paper. Travis of course was digesting all these small portions of the vice that laid backstage of the SSB venture. He couldn't help but grin, as he went over to Peach...

"Hey there... whatchu up to, hmmm?" he gave a seemingly smooth facade as he glided over...

"Just having a few drinks, that's all... what about you, newbie? I'm Peach. Princess Peach. See you're a little dry there." Peach spoke with a sweet soft accent, that massaged his ears in a certain way, and she also smelled lovely... not only that, she was a total dime!

He had to think quickly though... if he got drunk, he wouldn't be able to take care of Captain Falcon and Ganondorf at all... "Travis Touchdown. Well, I gotta drive myself, and whatnot..."

"Nonsense! Drink with me, cutie..." and she blew a kiss at him, and asked him what he'd have...

Travis thought quick on his feet again... though it may jeopardize his chances with her, too... "I would like... a fuzzy navel."

She kinda gave him an odd look, but shrugged it off anyway. "Well ok then... BARTENDER!"

Ike himself came over to them, and asked simply "What can I help ya with?"

Yes, yes... Ike works for Olimar. Ain't that cool? Maybe not, depends on how ya see it. Anyway, Peach told him to make up a fuzzy navel and some gin and orange juice. Mmmhmm. Sippin' on gin and juice, baby. Ike pretty much got 'em made up, and kinda handed Peach the fuzzy navel and Travis the gin and juice. Peach quickly switched them, which got a slight chuckle from Ike. Peach really didn't think Travis wanted to part though, as they sat and sipped their drinks, so...

Peach spoke up, to Ike "Ike, get this man some absinthe."

Travis looked over at her, in surprise "Shit, wanna flatten me, don't you!?"

"I only want you a 'lil loose. Oh, won't you have some, for me...?" She used the power of female seduction once more...

Upon hearing this, Travis shrugged and then totally gave in, waiting for his absinthe... in fact, he was watching Ike do the preparation and everything. He saw what it was first, a naturally green drink, looking like it was rather strong, then he watched Ike put the absinthe spoon on the glass, and put the sugar cube on it. That's when he started pouring the ice cold water over it, and the substance turned milky looking green. Once he was done, he handed it to Travis, and Travis looked at it, as if it would destroy him if he tipped the glass to his lips...

"Try it... you'll love it..." she persuaded him with luscious, pouting lips.

Travis began to slowly drink this crazy drink, as Peach was sipping on her gin and juice. They sat, and talked for a while, and Travis had actually finished his absinthe... and boy was he plastered. Though it was odd... he was plastered in more of an... open-minded, answer finding way. He looked around the bar, as he and Peach talked, and then noticed that Captain Falcon was heading for the door...

"Excuse me, Peach, dear... I must... oooh... go take care of some business." he had turned to her and said this to her best he could.

He then got up, and began for the door, and really hoped Peach was not watching him, as he grabbed Ganondorf's shoulder, and pulled him off his stool and outside with him and Captain Falcon. As the two of them stepped outside, Captain Falcon could be seen over in a corner of the alleyway, taking a piss and singing Invoke by T.M. Revolution, in perfect Japanese, oddly. Ganondorf was clearly confused, and tanked as well... they were three drunk guys in the alley of a bar, pretty much. Really, only one of them knew what was really going on. Well, if he did understand, that is. Absinthe is pretty damn powerful, you know. Even odder, Captain Falcon's stream was still going, and now he was singing Drop by Timbaland and Magoo. Once he was done, he turned around and looked at the two, who seemed to be staring at each other, though they were both swaying and trying to look angry.

"What th' hell're you guys doin' in my bathroom...?" this comment was compliments of a shit-faced Captain Falcon.

Travis pointed at the general directions he thought they were both in, though he felt like his balls were in a ball pit at McDonalds... "I'm here to... kill you guys..."

Ganondorf pointed, and gave a drunken growl "Well, how 'bout I... steak you, huh!?"

Travis had to stop and think about that last comment... what the hell did that mean!? Did Ganondorf just seriously say to steak him? Jesus, good thing he heard that. Either way, he took out his beam katana, and flared it on, with a drunken serious look on his face. Captain Falcon just shrugs, and then...

"FALCON... PUUUUNCH!" though he totally whiffed them both... like, epic whiff.

Travis had a clearly dumbfounded wasted face on, as he dashed at Captain Falcon in a rather zip-zaggy line, and ended up half slashing an innocent garbage can. Yes, half slashing, because it was so limp of a swing, his beam katana got stuck in it, as Ganondorf just started wildly swinging... actually, he clopped Captain Falcon upside the head and kicked him in the shin...

"Eeerrrr, Ganon...dorf... we're on the same team... HE wants to kill US..." upon saying this, he actually did start running for Travis...

Once he got there, Travis fell backward, pulling his beam katana out, and safely eluding the crazy two kicks he just got out of the way of. Travis kinda haphazardly swung on Captain Falcon, though his depth perception wasn't anything to be hailing right now, so it gracefully made whoosh sounds in front of his face. Though Travis did happen to kick that same sliced-into trash can at Ganondorf, who was coming up, and it got him in the forehead. That caused Ganondorf to pretty much stumble and fall on his ass. Really, all this fumbling and faggotry went on for 15 more minutes, until Captain Falcon was lain against the trash can, panting. Ganondorf was in the corner pissing now, singing Gravity's Rainbow by The Klaxons, in the exact voice. Travis was sitting against the wall, pretty much taking a break.

"What are you buffoons out here doing!?" That sounded like Samus...

Ganondorf yelled from the corner "Oi, you interrupted my song!"

She told them all sternly "I don't care if I interrupted your orgy, i'm taking you guys home. You're all plenty plastered, even you, Travis. Well, especially you."

Travis argued with her "What do... you mean? I'm fine! The world looks beautiful, and so do Ganondorf."

Of course, they were about to say something, but Samus grabbed Ganondorf by the wrist, Captain Falcon by the collar, and simply commanded Travis... "You better start moving."

As they went inside, they got quite a couple of stares, and whatnot. It looked rather funny, though it wasn't surprising that Samus was bossing these men with ease. Peach watched all this, and jumped out of her seat, stumbling a little. She pretty much marched up to Samus, as intimidatingly as she could, and looked her down, drunken eye to cold, angry eye.

"He may have came with you, but he doesn't have to leave with you." She said it to her bluntly.

Samus gave a look of annoyance, and growled "Move out of my way, before I make my way through you. Go love on Mario, or Bowser, or whoever your kick is nowadays..."

Peach poked Samus in the boob as she spat "Well, I just want to hang out with Travis, ok!? You came with enough guys, i'm just gonna take this one off your hands!"

A wall of gasps came up in the bar, as Samus looked wide-eyed at the princess... "I am NOT arguing over THIS."

With that, she pretty much pushed Travis into Peach, and took the rest of the guys home. Peach and Travis had a rather fun time with the rest of the night, telling each other stories, pushing Pit around, and Peach dancing on top of the bar. With their fun done, they'd need a designated driver, or something... but who...

"Hey Sora, drive us home! So funny, I didn't even know Sora was with Nintendo..." Travis called out through the bar.

"Damn it, I am not Sora! My name is Pit, and I look nothing like this SORA you keep speaking of! You know what? The fight is on!" Pit sounded so peeved.

Travis flat out decreed to him "No it's not. Shut up. Now, can we get a ride?"

Pit sighed a little "I flew here, ask somebody else..."

Travis took a second to think... Schpeltiger was parked here, so how would it get home? He'd need to find someone who probably knows how to ride motorcycles to take them home on his bike, because his huge bike could fit three, easy. He began looking around the bar trying to find someone... at that moment, Peach jumped up in front of Travis, which frightened him, actually. She looked quite excited... perhaps she had an answer to their problem...

"Travis, he'll ride us on your bike!" Peach giggled this, as she pointed behind her.

Travis looked behind her, then grumbled "Oh noooo..."

A deep, cool, awesome voice said to them "Oh... it's you. I'll still drive you. Can't have you dying before I humiliate you..."

Travis quickly moved past Peach, and into Snake's face, pointing a lone finger at him "I'ma scalp you and sell your hair to a bald redneck. Then the full redneck illusion would be complete, you inbred, mullet-having, full body condom suit wearing mother fucker."

Snake simply replied, dead serious "I know you are, but what am I?"

Travis was struck speechless... did Snake seriously just say that? With that, Travis simply pointed towards the door and threw an arm around Peach's waist. Snake ran a hand through his totally awesome mullet (because Solid Snake is the only dude who can even pull it off.) and moving towards the door himself. Once they made it out of there, the three got on the huge motorcycle, known as Schpeltiger and took off back to the mansion. After Travis took Peach to his room, they talked more about their experiences, and all that. Then, there was a knock on the door... it was faint, too...

"Yea, come in, I ain't doin' nothin' wrong... yet..." Travis told whomever was at the door as he hugged and cuddled Peach as she giggled like a schoolgirl.

Samus opened up the door, and saw this, then pretty much said "Yea, sorry for throwing you at her. Though you're pretty good at it yourself."

"Samus, what's the matter? Why do you care?" Travis had to ask quickly, before she tried to slam the door.

Samus, looking rather angry, said "I know I said i'd never be your friend, but tonight I was trying to be, but you blew me off before our friendship could really begin. So what i'm not the cuddliest and cutest. I'm rough around the edges, so what? Anyway, i'm gonna just go."

That's when she did slam the door. Travis kinda stared at it for like 10 seconds... Samus had really tried to be his friend? That must be why she was looking out for his wellbeing and all. Travis looked over at Peach, and really thought about it... this was all a booty call, most likely. Drunk person(s) alone in a room, holding and feeling on each other... you know where it was headed... it seemed like Samus was really mad at him... it felt like he should go check, just in case.

"Peach... I'll be right back, ok?" Travis told her this with a deep sigh...

She nodded her head, and pulled her knees to her chest, watching him leave the room... Travis headed down the hall to that one door... so he knocked... and WHAM! In the nose again. Samus had open up that door, full swing again, not caring who was at it, or caring about their well being at all...

"Oh. Travis..." She did want to say more, but she simply did not.

Travis pushed Samus into her room, and bombarded in, too... "Samus, tell me, why did me going for a booty call bother you...?

Samus gave a sigh "Well, friends try to stop friends from making mistakes... if you would've fallen for Peach... you wouldn't have gotten her, I can tell you right now. She doesn't stick with anyone as a lover, really. She's friends with Mario, you know... good friends, but friends nonetheless. Luigi isn't a contest. She and Bowser certainly aren't an item. Travis, she would've just been a drunk booty call. No matter how you would feel in the end."

Travis kinda stood there, looking a little shocked behind his yellow sunglasses... "That... was really deep. Are you even in character to say that? Is the writer slipping?"

Samus quickly told Travis "Quit breaking the fourth wall... it's all me... I just don't want you to do anything more stupid than you already have. 'Cause you're always doing something stupid Travis. I guess that's what makes you kinda cool..."

Travis snickered a little, and told her "Someone watches a little too much FLCL."

He patted her on the shoulder, and gave her a cool smirk. That was nice of her to let him know not to get hurt messing around with Peach. He'd keep it at a booty call, and that's about it. Perhaps he'd only catch Peach drunk, heh... Good to know, though. When he went to go out the door, he stopped and turned around, with a smirk on his face...

"You're still the best woman around here in my opinion. Don't let that go to your head." He snickered...

Samus smirked back at him... "Just get somewhere, you cool jerk."

Travis laughed heartily as he doodley doo'ed out the door... he got back to his room, and went in, coming back to Peach. She was looking at him with wide, pure eyes, even though she was drunk. He sat down on the bed, and wrapped his arms around her, and tried to remember... don't get in too deep. He smiled, and played with her hair, and rubbed her softly, which led into one thing, which led into another, and you can pretty much guess how it all ended up, and whatnot. For another day, I guess... for another day...

"I AM THE NIGHT!" Batman just flew out of view... bye bye, Batman...

End Of Ch. 2

Well, who knows what's gonna happen next? I just hope I get some reviews. Alright, peace, and goodnight!