Author: junglemag
Rating: PG, maybe mild language in future chapters
Pairing: Grissom/Sara
Spoilers: Up to and Including Season 7.
Author's Note: This is an AU, WIP fic I've been tossing around my puny brain. Mind you, it includes a character death although it doesn't deal exclusively with it. This chapter is un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine. And as usual, I don't own CSI or anything related to it, save an I heart Grissom bumper sticker.
I've never been anyone's godfather before. My sisters have kids, my brother has kids, but I've never been responsible for another person. Of course, baby, when I signed up for this, I didn't expect to be assuming those duties so soon.
She was my best friend. A once in a lifetime friend. Someone I could always count on, she was always there. We were so much like brother and sister it was scary. When she was kidnapped, your Daddy and I were together the whole time. I think he knew how much she meant to me, that losing her would hurt me as much as it would him. And when we found her, it was like finding the missing piece to a puzzle. My world was complete again.
When she finally told us she was pregnant, I immediately picked her up and spun her, which got me a glare from your Daddy. But I knew she'd be an awesome mother. No one could love as deeply as her, as full. She didn't do things halfway; it was all or nothing with Sara. I can only hope that between us all we can love you near as much as she could.
She'd extended her maternity leave to be home with you and I'm so glad she did. It was crazy seeing Sara Sidle with a burp rag on her shoulder, cooing to a baby. But it was so right. No one should have ever razzed her, teased her, anything. We should have let her know, I should have let her know that it was okay to be a mom.
The day we lost her, I knew something was wrong. I don't claim to have a sixth sense but something about that day, it just wasn't right. It was only her second day back. Entering that house by herself, she should have known better. There shouldn't have been only one patrolman on the scene. There were so many shouldn'ts, I don't know if I'll ever stop blaming someone or something for that day. It's so different from anything that's ever happened to me. I wake up everyday with a sick feeling, a feeling that I could have done something, changed something, anything. And Grissom, I think it's the first time I've ever seen a person's heart actually break. He waited so long to love her. Maybe that's not right. He waited so long to let her know that he loved her.
But one thing's for sure, Abigail. Your daddy will take such good care of you; you'll be lucky if your feet ever touch the floor. He doesn't let people in, but he let her in, and he never looked back. The smile on his face when you were born, it was, wow. That was true happiness. And the looks that they gave each other, they were love. There was no doubt, no worry, it was like the rest of the world could disappear, and they couldn't care less. You were made in love, and you'll live in love as long as I'm around. I'm your godfather, Abby, your Uncle Nicky, I'll always be here.
