Rocket took a nice deep breath.

"You know, this isn't so bad. The fresh air, the cool breeze, lush jungle, and-"

Rocket's thinking was suddenly interrupted by the sounds of metal scraping against itself. It pierced his eardrums. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a huge mech, about the size of three trucks stacked on one another, loaded with two very large chain guns. Rocket, a bit agitated took another swig of whiskey.

"Well it's time to get going" As he took a step forward, only to be pulled back where he was. He looked down and saw his left foot stuck under the floor.

"Really? Again? This is the 3rd time this week I've clipped through the floor!" Rocket yelled to himself.

"Fourth time if you count that time in the vents last week. heheh" Michael said through Rockets transceiver.

"Yeah yeah, you're amazing, I can't do anything right if it wasn't for you. Now hurry, I think that Metal Gear ripoff's getting closer."

Michael's voice grew more serious. "Rocket, I won't be here to fix whatever bugs attack you in this universe, both the physical and the technological kind. Just... Come back in one piece, would you kindly?"

A green light permeated around Rocket, suddenly lifting him in the air and placing him back down.

"Thanks man, good luck with the date"

"Thank you. I'll be gone now, goodbye Rocket"

Rocket's transceiver started playing static. He decided to jump into the bushes as the mech's sound grew dangerously close.

"Will you look at that" Rocket whispered to himself as the huge metal beast passed by, "I could kick so much ass in one of those things."

Roughly six soldiers were escorting the behemoth, Rocket weighed the options, he decided against it. A loud, low moaning was heard in the distance.

"Was that what we're looking for?" One soldier said.

"Could be, definitely sounds like the Gordiant. There's a data post up ahead we can synchronize at, we'll assess the situation from up there." Another said

"Hey guys," A third soldier said, anxious, "I uh, I gotta use the restroom, I'll just catch up to you guys in a sec."

"Suit yourself."

The platoon walked away, the jungle encompassing them. Rocket peeked though the bushes and saw the hapless goon walking towards his bush.

'I swear to god, please turn' Rocket thought as the man walked closer. Rocket's eyes grew really large when he heard a zipper being unzipped. 'Gah fuck it!' Rocket jumped out of the bush and hit the soldier with a straight jab to the face.

The man staggered back, which proceeded Rocket to jump kick him in the head, knocking his helmet off. The soldier slumped over, unconscious.

"Well you could say you got caught... With your pants down," Rocket laughed to himself, "oh man, I'm so bad at jokes"

He suddenly had an idea. A few moments later stood him bulked up wearing the armor of the guy he knocked out, now in his underwear. Rocket then ran into the jungle to catch up to the group.