The knock on the door was soft, so soft Aubrey wouldn't have heard it if she'd been further in the apartment or if she'd had the TV on. She paused for a few seconds, thinking she'd imagined it, but a second knock came, this time a little louder.
She went to the door, putting down the book she'd been unpacking from a box in the living room. "Coming!"
She grabbed her phone from the dining room table, noticing she had a couple of missed calls from Chloe. She thought about returning them when there was a third knock. She put the phone back down and walked to the door to open it.
The girl on the other side looked up at her wide eyed and took a second to compose herself before speaking. "Hi." She hesitated. "I didn't know if I- I wanted to- I mean, I-"
Aubrey got over her initial shock and stepped forward, engulfing the girl in a hug. "Bella." She heard the girl choke out a sob and felt her squeeze back. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is your mom okay?"
She pulled back, holding Bella at arm's length and giving her a once over. She cupped her cheek and wiped her tears.
"I'm fine." She shook her head. "Mom's fine."
Aubrey hugged her again, trying really hard not to start crying herself. She hadn't seen Bella in years, she wasn't sure how she'd recognized her, she looked so different. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and she took a deep breath, pulling back from her.
"Come in." Aubrey closed the door, leading Bella to the living room. She was dying to ask Bella what she was doing there but she didn't want her to think she didn't want her to be there.
She sat down next to her, squeezing her hand and pulling it onto her lap. She looked up at her, studying the teenager in front of her. She looked a lot more like Stacie now, her hair a little bit lighter, her green eyes had just a hint of eyeliner.
She felt a pang seeing how much she'd missed. The last time she'd seen her she'd been wearing her favorite dinosaur pajamas, holding one of her stuffed toys to her chest. A far cry from the fourteen year old sitting in front of her, wearing ratty jeans and a black sweater too large for her.
"Does your mom know you're here?" Bella tensed up and Aubrey knew what that meant. "Bella, what happened?"
"My mom-" She took a breath and pulled her hand back from Aubrey's grasp. "Why did you leave?"
"Bella." Aubrey sighed. She'd thought about this conversation a million times, she hadn't known if she'd ever get a chance to explain, if Bella would even want to hear her. "I had a job in London."
"You could've called."
"I wanted to, Bells, I really did but-"
"My mom didn't let you," Bella said, her eyes shining with anger.
Aubrey didn't know how she'd found out, she was sure Stacie would have never told her that. "It was more complicated than that. We both thought-"
"You're defending her?" Bella's eyes started shining with tears again. "She made me think you didn't care."
Aubrey wrapped her arms around Bella, rubbing her back. "Baby, we never meant to hurt you. Your mom and I-"
Bella pulled back and stood up. "How did you think I would feel when my mom left and didn't talk to me for four years?"
"Bella." Aubrey watched the girl pull back, crossing her arms against her front. This was exactly what she'd tried to avoid by staying away. She didn't want to be a constant disappointment to Bella, making promises she couldn't keep and then breaking her heart. "I'm very sorry I left, and I'm sorry you thought I didn't care. I love you."
"Right." Bella scoffed.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, Bells. We were just trying to protect you." Aubrey stood up and walked up to her.
Bella looked up at her, her lip was quivering, looking just like she had when Aubrey told her she was leaving. She bit her lip and shook her head before throwing her arms around Aubrey. "I needed you."
Aubrey squeezed her back. "I'm so sorry."
Aubrey let her cry for a while, remembering the time she'd fallen off her bike and scraped her knee, or the time they'd had to take out her appendix. It broke her heart to know how much she'd hurt her.
She'd tried not to think too much about Bella and Stacie after she'd left. She had wanted to be there for Bella but as soon as she moved away, being in a different time zone made it impossible for her to be there the way she wanted to. Stacie had agreed that putting Bella through what Aubrey went through with her father wasn't fair. She either had to be there for Bella full time or not be there at all.
She wanted to reassure her, promise her she'd be there for her now, that she'll never leave her again, but it wasn't up to her. She needed to talk to Stacie first.
She pulled back when Bella stopped sniffing. "We need to call your mom."
"Why?" Bella frowned, wiping her face with the back of her hand.
"She doesn't know you're here. Where did you tell her you were going?" Bella bit her lip and looked away. "You didn't tell her you were leaving?"
"She thinks I'm in my room."
"Jesus." Aubrey went for her phone and dialed Stacie's number. "Hey, Stace. It's me."
She heard Stacie suck in a breath. "Aubrey?"
She swallowed, trying to calm her nerves, and turned away from Bella who was looking at her pointedly from the couch. "Bella's here."
"What do you mean-" She heard Stacie stomping up a set of stairs. "Bella?" She pounded on the door. "Shit. How did she get there?"
"I don't-" Aubrey looked at Bella blankly. She hadn't thought to ask how the fourteen year old had made it there.
"I'm on my way, text me the address."
"Stacie, I don't think-"
"Text me the address, Aubrey."
Aubrey looked at her phone and growled. Stacie had hung up on her. She texted her the address, knowing she would call again if she didn't do it immediately.
"So your mom's on her way."
Bella groaned and leaned back, throwing her arms up. "Why does she have to be so dramatic all the time?"
Aubrey chuckled and sat back down next to Bella. "I'll talk to her."
Aubrey took a deep breath and smoothed her hands on the front of her jeans. She hadn't seen Stacie in four years, she hadn't talked to her in almost as long, aside from that brief phone call earlier. She opened the door with a barely there smile on her face.
"Where is she?" Stacie was doing everything to avoid looking at Aubrey.
"She's in my room." Aubrey stepped back. "I was hoping we could talk first?"
Stacie shrugged, following Aubrey inside the apartment. She looked around the living room, her arms still crossed in front of herself. "Nice place."
"Thanks." Aubrey stood awkwardly in front of her. "Do you want tea or something?"
"I just wanna get Bella and go."
"Right." Aubrey motioned at Stacie to sit down. "I'm back."
Stacie chuckled. "Yeah, thanks for the heads up, we had to find out from Beca."
"I was waiting to get settled first." She pointed at the boxes still littering the living room. "I wanted to have Bella's room ready."
"Bella's room?"
"I want to be in her life again," Aubrey said. "I don't want to be a stranger."
Stacie looked away and shook her head. "Aubrey, you can't jump in and out of her life whenever you feel like it."
"I know, I know." She knew talking Stacie into letting her back in was going to be difficult. She reached out for her hand, making sure she was looking at her before speaking again. "You know I wouldn't do this if I wasn't sure I could be there for her."
Stacie's look softened but she shook her head. "I don't know."
"Please, Stacie." Aubrey felt her throat close up.
Stacie pulled her hand back and sighed. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Aubrey let out a breath. "Thank you."
This wasn't the result she was hoping for but it was better than an outright refusal.
She stood up. "I'll go get Bella so you can go."
She knocked on the door softly, pushing the door open when she heard the girl's voice from the other side. She was sitting on Aubrey's bed, holding a frame she'd taken from Aubrey's dresser that held a picture of both of them.
Bella smiled up at Aubrey and tapped the frame. "I have this picture."
"It's my favorite." Aubrey leaned on the doorframe. "Your mom's ready to take you home."
Bella rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?"
Aubrey walked over to the bed and knelt down in front of the girl. "I know you're mad. At me and at her." Bella looked away. "And I know you might not understand yet, but your mom's always looked out for you." She tucked a strand of dirty blonde hair behind Bella's ear. "Cut her some slack, okay?"
"Fine," Bella said through gritted teeth.
Aubrey jumped up and held out her hand, smiling when Bella took it and led her back to the living room. Bella's hand tightened around hers when she spotted Stacie.
"Let's go," Stacie said.
Aubrey noticed Stacie's jaw twitch and knew Bella would get an earful as soon as they were out of the apartment. She squeezed Bella's hand back, but she couldn't really do anything about it. She would've been just as upset if she had left without letting her know.
Aubrey walked them to the door and leaned down to hug Bella goodbye, squeezing her tightly. "I love you."
Bella held onto her shirt after Aubrey pulled back and she looked up at her with watery eyes. "Am I gonna see you again."
Aubrey opened her mouth not really knowing how to answer that question. It wasn't up to her.
"We'll talk about it later," Stacie said tensely.
Bella glared up at Stacie and then look back at Aubrey, biting her lip. "Bye."
"You can't just leave the house without telling me!" Stacie quickened her pace to catch up to Bella who had stomped out of the building. "Something could've happened to you."
"I'm fine." Bella stopped when they reached the car and glared at her. "You didn't even notice I was gone, what does it matter?"
"I was letting you cool off." She hadn't thought much when Bella hadn't replied when she called her down for dinner after their fight, she just figured she needed more time. She usually did when it had to do with Aubrey. "And that's not the point."
"I needed to see her." Bella pulled the door handle but the car was still locked. "Are we going?"
Stacie rolled her eyes and got the key to unlock the door. "You're grounded."
"Whatever."
Bella flopped onto the front seat, crossing her arms with a deep frown. She didn't look up when Stacie got in and started the car, just sank down further on her seat. Stacie sighed, throwing another glance at her before pulling out.
She still looked mad, which was to be expected. She had never known how to handle the whole Aubrey situation, and Aubrey could've told her anything about what happened. She could've blamed it all on her.
She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. She wanted to think Aubrey wouldn't have done that. She had also thought Aubrey wouldn't leave them but she did. Of course she had broken up with her first so part of that was on her.
"I wanna see Aubrey again." Bella murmured.
"Bella," Stacie sighed. "I'm not sure that's the best idea."
"Why not?"
A million reasons. "We don't know if she'd back for good."
"She is," Bella protested.
"She said that?"
"She has a job here." Bella shook her head. "Why are you doing this again?"
"I'm not doing anything." Stacie let out an exasperated breath. "We'll talk about it later."
"Later when?"
"When you're not grounded anymore."
"And when is that gonna be?"
"When I say so." Stacie shook her head. "I told her I'll think about it, and I will, okay?"
"She asked?" Bella pulled her feet up on the seat and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't get why she even defended you, you're the worst."
Stacie pursed her lips confused. She didn't get why Aubrey would defend her but at least she was glad she didn't talk shit about her.
They rode the rest of the way in silence, Bella looking out the window and sniffling occasionally. Stacie knew she would have to do something about this, that if she kept Aubrey away Bella would only resent her and end up going to her anyway.
When they arrived home, she parked the car and turned to face her daughter. "I'll talk to her again tomorrow and see if we can work something out." Bella looked back at her with a hopeful smile. "But she needs to convince me she's here for good."
Bella threw her arms around her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"And you're still grounded."
"I know." Stacie squeezed her a little tighter, her mind still a blur from being worried about her and seeing Aubrey again after all this time. "I'm sorry I left without telling you."
Stacie grunted. "Don't ever do that again."
"Promise."
