Hey there everyone in fanfiction land!

I'm back with the second installment of 'Sick'!

But before we get started I would just like to give everyone reading this my most sincerest apologies about the long wait for this chapter.

I had the entire thing written when my computer crashed and I lost everything since last November. After that I had a very hard time getting myself motivated to sit down and re-write the entire thing over, but all your sweet comments got me through it!

So I want to thank you all so much for giving me such wonderful, inspiring reviews and allowing me to get out of my slump and get cracking on the 2nd chapter again!

This chapter is much more silly then the first and involves a very angry Rude with a very annoying Reno- Hope it's to your liking!

Now, enjoy Chapter Two of 'Sick'!

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The silence in the car was thick enough to put stake sauce on.

Preferably A1 stake sauce, or so Reno thought, because it was his favorite.

Next to him Rude did not move a muscle.

Did not reach up to help Reno pick the gravel out of his forehead. Did not make a motion to re-button his suit jacket where it had fallen open.

Did not even take a glance in the mirror to see the snapped ear piece of his beloved sunglasses from when Reno had-

Oh..shit.

"You broke my sunglasses."

Reno's head bobbed with the weight of that statement. "I...what..?"

"You broke my sunglasses."

These four words were not simply spoken, you must understand, but secreted through every orifice of Rude's being, and for a few intense moments Reno could only hope he ended up as lucky as the broken shades.

"Look...Rude, man...I...don't even know what you're talking-"

"Oh. You know."

Rude's mouth hadn't moved. Reno was sure of it. Could this be a new form of anger induced telepathy? Reno mused on this thought for a moment as Rude's aura became almost palpable beside him.

An alarmingly cold hand touched Reno's arm.

"WAH!" The red head snapped back to reality and huddled fearfully against the cool leather of Rude's passenger seat.

"Look...Rude...man...my best buddy." The babbling Turk inched backwards toward the door, fumbling blindly all the while for a way to unlock it. "You know I only brake things that belong to people I really care about! D-don't you see?? I want you to remember me forever and ever...and..and...!"

There was no way to unlock it. This door didn't have locks- didn't have locks?? Every car has locks!

Reno's skin became icy with panic.

"And...and...I...I...OHGODRUDEPLEASEDON'THURTMEI'MSORRY!!"

A loud sigh echoed suddenly throughout the interior of the car.

Reno turned his head to see Rude slumped forward next to him, cradling his head in his hands and rubbing his temples.

"And I can't even beat you to a pulp because you're sick!" Rude lamented loudly.

"...come again?"

"You probably don't even remember taking them in the first place!"

Reno deflated into a little pile of goo on the car seat. "Take...what...now?"

"The glasses!" Rude shouted to no one in particular. "See? You're so sick you don't even know what's happening. Oh, how could I be mad?"

Reno held his breath. Could this be? Could it actually be true that just because he was ill he could get away with...anything? The most sinful of sins? The most evil of evils?

Reno smiled wickedly into the rear-view mirror.

"Oh my sweet, sweet Rude..." Reno heaved tiredly, leaning back on the seat and coughing a few times for good measure. "I'm fine really...I just need to go home and...rest..."

Rude looked over at Reno, raising his eyebrows in alarm. "No way buddy, we're gonna get you some medicine first."

"Are...are you sure...my fair Rude?" Reno practically gasped out, sliding further down the seat. "For I am certain...I can fend for...myself..."

"We're getting you medicine."

"Okay. "

Stepping out of the car Rude waited patiently for Reno to follow suit. Reno seemed to have other ideas however because he stayed firmly planted inside the vehicle.

Another long minute went by.

Rude walked around the back of the car and knocked on Reno's window.

"You coming?"

Reno turned to face Rude and rolled the glass down about two inches.

"Hey there."

"Hey." Rude was unamused. "Let's go."

Reno went back to playing with the radio dials.

"Go? OH, no that's okay. I'll stay here. Make sure you pick up some pop tarts though-Oh! I love this song!"

Reno rolled the window back up just in time to spare Rude the final chorus of "I Am the Warrior."

Rude took a moment to step away from the car and beat a cement curb into millions of tiny pieces before attempting to persuade his red headed friend again.

Walking back over to his stylish black Porsche Rude once again knocked on the window.

Reno rolled it down. "That was fast."

"Get out of the car."

Reno blinked in surprise, then smiled and patted Rude's arm. "Now now, I'm sure you're perfectly capable of shopping by yourself. We all have to learn sometime, and this store has many wonderful bargains that-"

"RENO. I...am really...trying...not...to...lose my...patience.."

Knowing that he was in serious danger of crossing Rude's 'I will strangle you with barbed wire' line Reno quickly dissolved into a fit of coughing.

As expected, Rude's expression softened and he reached into the car to pat Reno's back.

"Reno, you okay?" He asked in concern.

"Oh...yeah.." Reno answered, catching his breath. "It just...hurts..."

"Oh." Rude pulled his arm out of the car and leaned back to look down at Reno. "I'll just go in myself then."

"Hmmmm...no." Reno said, smiling up at his fellow Turk. "I wanna come in now."

Somewhere in the back of Rude's mind a little thread of sanity snapped to pieces.

------

The inside of the pharmacy was brightly lit and brimming with sneezing kids and their sleep deprived mothers.

"Wow! Look at this place!" Reno cried excitedly "Oh! They have a make up section! Rude, I want the new volumizing mascara by Maybelline!"

"Reno, stop jumping around. We came for medicine, and that's what we're buying."

"Oooh, but Rude I'm worth it!"

Rude raised an eyebrow. "That's not even Maybelline's slogan Reno, it's L'oreal's, and they make hair products."

"How do you even know that?" Reno questioned, putting his hands on his hips. "When was the last time you had hair to wash dude?"

Rude took a moment to punch a magazine rack, then silently led Reno over to the medicine counter. However, this seemingly simple task was not to be completed without a struggle, for the many scampering children in the small pharmacy were intent on making Rude's trek as difficult as possible by running directly into his legs time and time again.

"Ugh!" Rude exclaimed as a little boy left a nice big mucus stain on his new dress pants. "This is impossible! Let's just go somewhere else, alright Reno?"

"..."

"...Reno?"

But Rude would never receive an answer, for Reno was gone.

---

Three hours of searching and eight death threats later Rude found Reno perched atop a soda machine playing with a life sized Rufus Shinra doll.

"Look dude!" he yelled happily "I didn't know they sold these here!"

"Reno!" Rude screamed, "What the hell are you doing!?"

"Um, it's called playing house Rude, duh, I thought you'd know that..."

"Be quiet and get down! How did you get up there anyway?"

"I climbed."

"You climbed? Yeah, well, you better start climbing back down!"

Reno just rolled his eyes, and proceeded to whisper something to the Rufus doll.

Rude's eyes bulged, "What did you just tell him!?"

Reno blinked at Rude in surprise.

Oh God, Rude thought, I'm becoming as a crazy as him! "N-never mind!" Rude yelled again. "Just get down from there right now!"

Reno shimmied back farther atop the machine. "No!"

"Reno I'm warning you, get DOWN."

"Make me!"

"Make you? Make you?!"

Another thread snapped deep within the tresses of Rude's mind. Gripping both sides of the slick black machine Rude began scaling the rectangular monster.

"Oh, I'll make you! You just watch!"

"Woah!" Reno looked over the top in alarm. "Are you seriously-ACK!" Reno ducked his head back just in time to miss a swing from Rude's outstretched hand. "Dude, seriously, don't come up here!"

Rude remained silent and poised as he climbed nearer to the top.

"Wait man, I'm serious here! Stop climbing!"

Rude let out a war cry as he heaved his body up a few more inches.

"Rude! If you don't stop climbing the machine's gonna-"

"What?!" Rude asked, finally reaching the top and attempting to thrust his body over to where Reno was. "Fall? The machines gonna fall? I really don't think this huge machine is going to-"

CREAAAAAKKKK

Both men froze.

Rude slowly turned his head to lock eyes with Reno, who was sitting completely still, gripping his Rufus Shinra plush.

"What...what was that..?"

Reno surveyed the machine carefully then delicately whispered "I think the machine moved."

Rude glared at Reno as gingerly as he could. "No shit."

"Just...just stay very still. I think the machine sto-"

CRRREAAAAAKAAAKKK

"WAAH!!" Reno flew forward as the machine became unhinged from the wall "Jesus! Rude move!"

"Wha-UGHHH!!"

Reno looked down in alarm, "Dude! Get your face OUT OF MY CROTCH!"

"Muffufffuuuussshhs!!!!"

"I can't understand you!"

With one huge swing Rude grabbed Reno by the belt of his pants and tossed him backwards, effectively wedging him and his beloved doll behind the machine.

"You're disgusting! Do you know how much therapy I'm gonna need to get that memory out of my mind?!"

"Waahaa!" Came the muffled reply from behind the snack machine. "Get me out!!"

"You'll get out when I'm good and ready to take you out and-"

"AAAHH! Rude MOVE!"

'WAH!-"

CREAAAAAAAAAAAKKKBOOOOOOOOM

---

When Rude came to a few minutes later he was met by the sight of security guards pulling a giant machine off his torso, and Reno laughing hysterically.

A young man in a green and white uniform came over to Rude and bent down beside him.

"Um...sir...?"

Rude twisted his head to look up at the teen. "What?"

"...You're...um...going to have to pay for...that machine..."

Rude closed his eyes and sighed very softly. Then, slowly sitting up, he grabbed the teen by his hair and smashed his head into Reno's.

And as both boys lay writhing in agony, Rude let a small smile grace his lips.

---

Welp. That's the end of Chapter.2.

Poor Rude, I am so mean to him...

Hope you got a kick out of it!

Remember feedback is always nice !

-Spooky Mitsuko.