Bella's POV
I did not fall asleep. Doubtless, it would have been a blessing to succumb to unconsciousness, but I could not. Every time I shut my eyes I saw only him, the fierce light that burned in his eyes as he fought them, one by one…at first, his determination was amusing to them, but as soon as it ceased to be funny - namely, the minute he made one of them scream in pain - Jane had him writhing on the ground. I was sure that if I lived through tonight (and I prayed to God I wouldn't) the image of his tortured face, trying to save me, trying not to let one iota of his true pain show, would render me just as him incapable of sleep as he himself had been….the agony it cost me to use the past tense tore a scream from my chest, and I knew suddenly that it was only Jasper's calming presence that kept me from throwing the door open and hurling myself out onto the pavement. As it was, my fingers itched toward the handle, waiting for the moment when he would be distracted by other thoughts…
The second I began to think this, he spoke.
"Don't, Bella," he breathed, and there was such infinite sorrow in those three syllables that I froze, trembling. "I can tell what you're feeling. I can't promise that I feel any different…but I've got to get you back. Please… don't let me responsible for any more death tonight. Please."
In the moonlight, he looked so beautiful, almost like my Edward, and his voice was velvet, just like his. Crazed with grief, I reached out with my left hand to stroke his jaw. "Jasper…"
He moved so fast I barely saw it. "Bella," he warned, shifting away from me, and suddenly he was foreign to me, just another nightmare in my empty, meaningless world. I screamed again at the horror, the cruelty of it all, and he reached out again, almost unconsciously, to stroke my hair.
"Don't touch me!" I snarled, wild with pain. "Leave me alone!"
His hand was gone, but empathy shone clearly on his face. His breath hitched, and I'm sure that if he could have, he would have been sobbing.
"Goddamn it!" he cried, his voice furious, and then again, so soft I didn't hear it, merely felt the release of air as he exhaled around the words. "Goddamn."
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When I awoke in the morning, I was much too comfortable. I could feel the light on my face and I smiled, thinking Edward and Alice must have pulled into a hotel for the night. For once, I didn't begrudge them the expense. Charlie would be worried, yes, but I'd been so tired…and I'd had such a terrible dream…I opened my eyes, expecting to see Edward's face only inches from my own, and instead found, much to my surprise, that I was alone.
Swallowing hard, I tried to quell the panic that rose in my chest. Was this just his new way of abandoning me? Now that he knew I was safe, had I awoken just to find a note on my nightstand with the money for my ticket home enclosed? I let out a broken sob at the thought, made to toss aide the duvet…and a searing pain shot through my arm. Confused, I pulled back the blankets, and my heart stopped, my eyes refusing to acknowledge what they saw.
My arm was held together by a splint. In my dream, it had been broken…I screamed as I realized the truth that had evaded me, leapt wildly out of bed…and knocked a water glass to the floor.
I could hear footsteps in the hall outside as I stood there shaking, my eyes fixed on the broken shards of glass…and then the door opened, and Jasper rushed in. I had no time to think, but I was sure that if I had, my decision would have been the same. I knew Jasper. I remembered all too well the way he had reacted the night of my eighteenth birthday, the night that had sent my life spiraling out of control. I had no desire to live in a world without Edward. I knew what I had to do.
"I'm sorry, Jasper," I whispered, and his confused golden eyes became two perfect circles of horror as I seized a shard of glass from the floor and dragged it swiftly across my unbroken wrist.
A/N: Ooh, cliffhanger. What do you think? Will Jasper kill Bella? Change her? So sorry to leave you in suspense, but there wasn't another good place to end this chapter…hope you enjoyed it anyway, and thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I was really pleased with the response and every comment means a lot to me. Keep 'em coming, and updates will be quick, I promise. : )
