I couldent sleep that night, all I could think about was Toby and how amazing it felt to just be touched by him. This was all new to me and I'm not gonna say Toby and I never kissed because we definitely did, but he's never touched me like that before. Our times together were usually spent watching mystery movies and playing scrabble. After yesterday though, I can't help but think... I want more. I rolled over and looked at the clock...4:00AM... this is gonna be a long night. Grabbing my phone I scrolled through the names and sent Toby a text.

"Sorry about my mom" as I hit send I hoped he was awake. Soon enough my phone buzzed next to me;

"Its ok parents are unpredictable." I laughed as I read that...with my parents that's a sure statement.

"Toby...can I ask you something?"

"Of course, what's on your mind?"

"Have you ever...you know...felt that feeling?" Hesitating for a second I took a deep breath and hit send. I know this is weird for me but Toby is my boyfriend if I can't talk to him about it then we have a problem. My phone buzzed again;

"Are you talking about today?"

"I guess, yah, its just..." I couldent find the words to send back but I'm sure he understands. Not even two seconds later my phone started to vibrate and I picked it up.

"Hi Spence" hearing his voice helped me to relax a little inside, so I took a deep breath. I think he heard because he started talking again.

"So you want to know more?"

"Yes...well...I want to know what it feels like!" I tried to explain as best I could.

"More is an understatement Spence...admit it; you want to feel an orgasm?" I could hear the laughter in his voice over the phone, but I tried to stay serious.

"No, but I want to know if I make you feel the same way you made me feel today?"

"I wouldent even know where to begin, you make me feel so much more. Today is only the beginning Spence of a new wave of feelings if u liked that...if you're curious we can try more, as long as your up for it."

"I cant believe im saying this, but i really want to know, i want to know what everyone is talking about. I want to know what everyone else does...right now im only book smart I would like to be smart in other things too."

"Trust me Spence, the smarts in a relationship you already have... guys go off a wimb. Its basically a hit or miss; your lucky girls tend to think more and know when to stop. If you really are that curious though next time, we can try sometjing new, but right now you should go to sleep...its almost 5am!"

"I dont know if I wanna yet but ok... night Toby"

"night Spence,just remember I love you. If your ready I'm ready, but only if you are."

"I know..love you too Toby", after hanging up the phone I scrolled through my music trying to find something that might lull me to sleep and get my mind off things. I finally settled on Piano Tribute and fell asleep five minutes later.

"So, I heard you talking to Toby last night" Melissa came into my room chanting, "relax Spencer your gonna end up as a stubborn old women, who reads mystery novels all day if you don't live a little."

"Wait... how much did you hear?" A look of concern crossed my face.

"Enough, don't worry my lips are sealed" she made a locking motion over her lips then pretended to throw away the key as she walked back out of my bedroom; "trust me, its worth it" then she disappeared from view. I would have gone after her but I wouldent even know what to say so I decided to leave well enough alone and closed my eyes for a few minutes...trying to escape from reality. Within a few minutes their was a knock on the door followed by moms voice;

"you planning on getting up today Spencer, its almost noon", since I didn't answer she invited herself in and just kept talking; ur sister and I are going to play tennis at the country club...we will be back in a few hours. I would expect you to be up by then".