Yay a guess! And a good one at that! Thanks TMK13! I can totally see Sam's song as a REM song not that you say that, it gave me some ideas, but that wasn't the song thought of before.
And Sam's song is…..
"Here I Go Again"~ by Whitesnake
It's a really awesome, instant classic. Not all of the lines are written if you listen to the song with the story though.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song "Here I Go Again."
Sam sent Dean a surprised if not considered wary look as the CD player hummed to life. Dean shifted his eyes, hoping that through that look Sam would relax a little bit.
Sam sighed and lowered his shoulders, instead turning his attention to the young, amused woman smiling directly into his eyes. It was obvious she either didn't care or notice the smug appearance of Dean's own chapped lips.
This chick's off her rocker was his only thought, as he sat there waiting for some classical piece to come out. She would probably say it had something to do with his moving soul or how the steady beat held some other sort of nonsense. All they'd have to do is sit here and listen to some boring tunes and then they could leave.
But then it dawned on him.
The reason they were here was for a demon. A demon which Cas followed to this very tent, a demon which had somehow gone missing leaving this non- demonic girl to persuade them to say. How would such an innocent, if a little whacked up, woman know about the demon if she wasn't apart of something.
That thought caused the amused glimmer in his eyes to vanish, his lower jaw to protrude, and his eyelids narrow as if it bettered his vision on the task and the possible enemy before them.
It was just before the first note rang that Sam felt a tingle run from his cervical vertebrae all the way to his knees. His stomach clenched but also opened at the sudden anticipation that rose inside him. What did she mean by song of his soul?
Just then the first note was hit on a guitar, followed by a drumbeat.
Dean unexecpectantly whipped his head towards Sam at the familiar sound. His eyes scrunched up first in trying to place the song, but then widened when he realized what it was. He turned to the woman but she only sent him a knowing smile and a sign with her slender finger not to speak, which he followed by closing his mouth, Cas staring at him and the entire scenario with immense confusion.
The instrumental continued in soft harmony, Cas sending an unrecieved look towards Dean and Sam, one of which was confused by what he was hearing. That is until the words began.
No I don't know where I am going.
The shiver across Sam's spine grew stronger. Suddenly a flash of the impala ran through his mind, but then the feeling of uncertainty did as well. That shiver caused the feeling of being lost and confused that occurred throughout most of his life to resurface within the next three notes.
But I sure know where I've been.
The feeling went from uncertainty to remembrance as the past, the events which the uncertainty had led to, flooded his mind: the good and the bad.
Hanging on the promises in the songs of yesterdays,
So much had changed, yet he was still uncertain. He was still fighting to keep a hold of what he had set out to do. Still in the back of his mind he remembered his failures, the people he had let down. On the other hand the flashes of when he saved Dean, when he laughed with Bobby, when he was there for his friends.
And I've made up my mind.
I ain't wasting no more time. Here I go again… here I go again…
He hadn't told them yet, not Cas or Dean, but he was going to prove himself. Prove that he could be there, be reliable, but still the memories of the past were clouding his decisions. It always seemed he was chasing to prove himself, every time he would fail miserably.
Tho' I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
He was always unhappy, always wanting something more, never finding something that satisfied that burning inside of him. Whether it was Stanford, hunting, his unreal destiny with Lucifer, they all ended up with him desiring something more than a black car and his brother, no matter how much he wanted something more, he would never find it.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on.
When he was alone at night, when Dean was asleep, even when they were younger, Sam had always tried to pray although he wasn't entirely sure if there were angels or God at the time. He just wanted to here from someone that everything would be okay. He just wanted to know that he could make everything be okay.
Cos' I know what it means,
To walk along this lonely street of dreams.
The guitar and drum set in unison announced the coming chorus.
An' here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
He was always running away. He was always leaving people, family, friends, behind. He never gave into anyone fully, he would never let himself.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
He was always the outsider whether it is with 'normal' people or his family: he was always the odd one.
An' I've made up my mind.
I ain't wasting no more time.
The instruments shifted back as the lyrics progressed once more.
Just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love's sweet charity.
No matter how many times he saved anyone, he always wondered who was going to save them, Dean and him. He knew that people like them were probably the ones most need of help but no one ever came, if they did they paid the price for it.
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days,
'Cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.
The chorus began once more and the images once more flew through Sam's mind. Running away from his family when he was younger for those two weeks. Arguing with his father about hunting. Going to Standford. The images kept coming even as the chorus broke off into the next sequence.
But here I go again.
The first time he walked out on Dean during a hunt.
Here I go again.
When he betrayed his brother and drank the demon's blood. When he released Satan.
Here I go again.
His time in the cage.
Here I go again. Here I go!
Moving on while Dean was in Purgatory, his most recent of failures which still stung every time he saw his elder brother look off into the distance, a hint of annoyance edged on his face. Was he annoyed with Sam? With what Sam had or rather hadn't done? The chorus continued looping until its last run through rang out.
Cos' I know what it means.
To walk along the lonely street of dreams.
And here I go again on my own,
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
If he was honest himself, he would be surprised if Dean wasn't fed up with him, if everyone wasn't fed up with him.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
He had always felt like this. He had always been the outsider. He was always chasing the idea of proving himself, and every time he would fail.
The man's voice and music began to fade out Sam's trance held, the memories and feeling stuck with him as small vibrations trailed up his shoulders and wrapped around his neck.
"Sam," Dean said, his eyes not moving from his brother. In fact his eyes hadn't moved off his younger sibling since he started staring at the face of the table. Worry filled the emerald irises as he called out once more, this time reaching out and shaking his shoulder, "Sammy!"
At the sudden touch Sam was jolted from his trance and swiftly turned to Dean, his contemplative look holding.
Dean saw something in his eyes, something deep. He looked so… sadly gone. Dean in return almost withdrew his hand, moving his head back in surprise, but stopped himself quickly realizing somehow the song had indeed affected him. With a reassuring pat on the same shoulder he looked directly into his eyes and spoke.
"Sam," he spoke clearly. Sam was unresponsive, only staring at him with a blank expression. But suddenly it seemed to make him come to life as he swiftly took in a deep breath and shook his head, looking towards the woman, ignoring Dean's confused and worry stare.
"Sorry, I zoned out," he whispered, trying to relax in his own skin as much as he could. He wore no expression on his face, only meeting eyes with the woman for a split second before
"It's okay Sam," she said softly, keeping her smile of assurance. Her comforting words caused his shoulder blades to close as he lifted himself up more in the chair, up to his full sitting height. "Why don't you share what that song made you feel."
Sam's jaw visibly tightened and his eyes, though he tried to stop them, widened. He'd rather not do that.
"I don't know what you mean," Sam said, forcing his eyes to lower and relax his shoulders. Her eloquent smirk told him she knew he was lying, but really why did she want him to explain that?
"What do you mean?" Dean interjected, confusion edged on his face as he asked the question that was already on Sam's mind.
"It is apart of the reading," her eyes moved to the man in the middle.
"What do you mean?" Dean snapped, the confusion making him slightly on edge and perhaps coming off as a tad on the mean side, but frankly he didn't seem to care. Whatever she was saying was obviously unnerving to Sam. What was she getting at?
Sam did not look away from her, trying his best to keep an uncaring façade. The woman on the other hand only smile towards the younger Winchester, not a belittling knowing grin that she obviously could have warn, more of a comforting, motherly expression which was unusual for her age. When Sam did not make a move to speak, she decided it was up to her to explain the song's meaning.
Looking Sam in the eyes she said, "It seems that Sam is confused."
"There was an awkward pause before Dean spoke. "What?!"
"Sam do you wish to tell him," she asked raising her eyebrows.
Sam did not move. He wanted to look to Dean and tell him he had no clue what this batty woman was saying, but he was afraid if he did he would be found out. Either Dean or Cas would be able to tell he was lying and he didn't want either of them to find that out. So he just silently stared at the woman, hoping that she would just stop speaking.
Unfortunately that did not seem like it was going to happen, causing her to sigh, frustration barely edged on her breath.
"What the song means to Sam is all his life he has felt like an outsider. He didn't want to become a hunter, but he knew he could never fit in anywhere if he didn't become one. When ever he did try to fit in he always found himself unhappy because either way he was disappointing his family or trying to be something he wasn't. Every moment of his life he has been lost and confused, always going off on his own, always heading down one road and never finding anything to satisfy that mislaid feeling of his. Even when he felt he had a family with his brother or his friends he always knew that he would either disappoint them or drag them down that lost road with him. He says he is fine, he knows that it is prevalent that he is unhappy with the family business but he also knows he is in a much worse depression than he shows," she spoke in one breath ignoring the confused and slightly enlightened faces of the men in front of her. "Am I right Sam?"
Sam tried very hard not to look astonish, but she had hit it right on the mark. So instead of admitting to anything he only asked, "Who are you?"
As the woman shrugged her shoulders and stood up smiling, knowing what had been revealed had been confirmed, Dean looked to his brother with a sudden, surprised sadness. Is Sam really that depressed? Does he really feel like he doesn't belong in our family?
Despite his best effort not to Dean couldn't help but feel slightly hurt as Sam did not reveal this to him on his own and was currently staring back at the woman who had taken the CD out of the player and put it back into its case.
Dean just kept that sorrow filled look until he heard the rummaging behind him followed by her voice.
"Dean," she beckoned, he could tell by the sound of her voice she was smiling. "It's your turn."
Can anyone guess what Dean's song is? Thanks for reading!
