Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns HP. That is all. A/N: REWRITE for Notes, Letters and the Unexpected: I had mixed reviews and I agree: it needed fleshing out.
Forbidden Thoughts
Two
She stared at the back of the toilet door doing her business. She was alone, just the way she liked it.
She closed her eyes, taking her time and tried to remember whom she had been concentrating on in her dream. He had a beautiful mouth, sexy eyes that made her feel irresistible and his chest was bare but toned. Her palms had run down his abs and she had let out audible gasps, until his mouth slammed against hers and she felt electricity burn through her desires to ravish him in the middle of the Great Hall.
It was wrong to think the things she did. Her family would be ashamed. The person she was crushing on, was not a friend. In fact, in real life, he was a complete ass. And yet, when she closed her eyes, he was an asset. She needed him to do those things to her. She needed to be aroused and she needed to feel important and sexy and she desired his every touch, his every kiss, his every movement: she needed him inside her or she'd explode with lust.
Slytherins and Gryffindors were known enemies. Rivalries and yet all Ginny could see when she closed her eyes was the god of sex. Draco Malfoy was her obsession.
She lusted after him like he was famous - well, she presumed, he was famous - for being one of those guys. Ginny Weasley wanted him to be hers. She grinned to herself, her fingers pulled up her underwear. She bit her lip, imagining her finger inside her folds rotating amidst naughty images.
"Ginny?" It was Luna, come to check on her. The door slammed and Ginny froze, reality hit her and her moaning stopped. So did any fantasy of Draco Malfoy making rough love to her against the toilet door.
"Are you feeling ok?" She heard the tap on her cubicle door.
Ginny composed a face which would hide exactly what she had been thinking, and pushed open the door with a smile. "I'm f-fine," Ginny said, washing her hands exuberantly and feeling an unresolved tingling sensation between her legs. Luna looked at her strangely. "I'm not going back to Binns' class. I'm going to the library." In a hope I'll run into Malfoy on the way, she secretly added.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Luna interrogated. "Because your cheeks are awfully red."
"Luna! I said I was fine." Ginny snapped and she knew Luna didn't believe her.
"Is this about Harry kissing you?" Luna said sceptically.
"How do you know about that?" Ginny said, stopping still.
"Oh, everyone knows! What was it like kissing Harry?"
Ginny chose her words carefully but honestly. She knew whatever she said could potentially be on the gossip vine the next day or sooner. "Tell me, I won't tell anyone." Ginny was pretty sure Luna would keep her word, but the walls and paintings were listening eagerly with bated breath.
Ginny hushed her voice and whispered into Luna's ear, noticing Luna's radish earrings with a smile: "Honestly, it was like kissing my brother. I just didn't feel the spark." Ginny carried on down the hall with a skip to her step. She felt relieved, that she was able to talk to someone about it without getting judged or being told that first kisses were always bad and what made them better was practice. She was never kissing Harry Potter again.
Luna stared after her, and when Ginny called her to hurry up. "Why don't you kiss him, Luna - then you'll see what I mean." Ginny snorted to herself as they came to the library and Luna contemplated the theory. Ginny was joking but she realised when Luna didn't say anything that she might be seriously considering it.
"Do you like Harry?" Ginny said, grabbing Luna's arm. "Well?"
Luna smiled, "He's not that bad to look at and he's kind and he can see Thestrals. I like talking to him." Ginny encouraged Luna as best she could, because if Harry and Luna got together then she could finally move on with what she wanted: Draco Malfoy in her bed. Her heart pounded excitedly and she hugged Luna with a yell, making several people stare.
"I'm going to help you get Harry." Ginny grinned.
"That won't take long, considering he's standing over there." Luna pointed and Ginny stared. Harry Potter was standing at the entrance to the library holding a massive bunch of glittering flowers with a giant card with her name on it. Her heart deflated with her smile. Harry Potter was an idiot. especially when it came to girls. Ginny wished she could floo somewhere else and hide from the gleeful faces.
"What are you doing here?"
Harry looked confused, "These are for you."
"To say what? I love you. Harry I told you, I don't like you in that way. The kiss was a mistake."
Harry shook his head, "Can't I buy flowers for you, as a friend?"
"Harry, these types of flowers say more than "friends." I'm not going to take them, especially when you are causing a public scene."
"Ginny!" Harry said, grabbing her arm and thrusting the flowers up her nose.
"Harry, just stop! I already told you, I don't love you!" The words seemed harsh but didn't Harry listen? How many times did she have to say it? Until he never forgave her? Until she publicly humiliated him? Harry lowered the flowers stupidly and Ginny could see she'd upset him, but perhaps now he'd finally understood her?
"I don't believe you. We shared something special. Why are you denying this," Harry whispered.
Ginny wanted to slap him, perhaps then things would sink in. "Because Harry, I think of you as my brother. We will never have anything more than friendship." Ginny stomped passed him hearing the ugly whispers from the witnesses. Great, now everyone thought she was a bitch.
"How could she do that to Harry Potter!"
"Is she crazy!"
If Harry had kept his fat mouth shut and respected her decision then none of them would have gotten humiliated. Ginny wanted to dig a hole through the library floor to Romania and be with Charlie and his dragons. Luna had stayed by her side, the only one to comfort her. Ginny pulled out random books from the shelves and carried them to their corner, away from the others where there was peace and quiet and where they could think. Ginny opened the book and stared at the pages, not taking them in. She was angry beyond measure, she felt tears drip down her face and she sniffed them back.
"I take back what I said, if you want him you'll have to get him yourself." Ginny said to Luna, wiping her face.
"Like I want your sloppy seconds." Luna said, making Ginny laugh. "Why don't you tell me exactly what's going on with you. I know you're keeping secrets. I won't tell." Ginny stared at Luna's innocent face not wanting to horrify her with her dirty thoughts, but she needed a girlfriend to talk to. Hermione was too close to Ron and Harry and Luna was there for her. So, she whispered all her forbidden thoughts and when she'd finished, Luna wasn't staring at her like she was some sort of slut, she looked aroused and she whispered, "I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss a Slytherin. How are we going to go about this exactly?"
"I have no idea." Ginny murmured and she didn't. Fantasising about boys was exactly what had gone wrong in the first place with Harry. And it wasn't like Draco was a good person. All Malfoys were dicks, so why did she have such an enormous crush on the blonde sex god - was it because he was forbidden fruit; because he was off-limits or because he gave her the biggest adrenaline rush? Or the fact that when she thought about him touching her there, she gasped louder than she had when she had physically been with both Michael and Dean.
"What if you find the kiss is exactly like what happened with Harry. Please don't throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower." Luna had voiced her concerns but she wasn't suicidal.
"I won't, and it won't." If Draco wasn't the one - she'd just keep trying. She giggled to herself and realised that she'd be exactly like Pansy Parkinson. Maybe that was what she had to do, befriend pug-faced, Pansy. Now that would be a challenge - especially since Pansy was her biggest competition.
"If you're sure, then don't leave me behind. There's a few Slytherins I have my eyes on."
Ginny smirked, "Luna Lovegood, you surprise me."
"Why? Because you're not the only one who has sex dreams?" Ginny laughed at that, she wasn't alone after all, and it was perfectly normal to be thinking the things she was. Hogwarts wasn't just a school, it was the place for hundreds of horny teenagers, exploring their sexual feelings and trying to find their perfect match.
"Should we get going?" Ginny said, piling the random books away.
"I'm ready when you are." Luna said, standing.
"Potions?" Ginny asked and Luna nodded.
When Ginny and Luna left the library to more jeers and unkindness, Ginny let it bounce off her. So what if they thought she was a bitch. She knew who she was, and she had done what was right. She wasn't going to pretend and be the good girl: what she'd said to Harry had been the truth. She was on a mission for love and she and Luna would find it, because they were single, confident girls and those types of girls always got what they wanted.
A/N: loving this story! reviews welcome!
